Hermione transfigured her wand into a vibrator, but she can't transfigure it back without the help of another wand. It would be beyond humiliating to ask anyone for help. What is she going to do? She'd been without her wand all day now, and a certain Slytherin someone is a bit too observant for his own good... Just a smutty story, really.

JK Rowling for the setting and characters; me for the plot.

Late one night

Hermione Granger had a problem. A seven-inch, ivory-coloured, vibrating penis-shaped problem.

It wasn't a problem earlier. In fact, it was the answer to her dreams. She'd had sex with a couple of boys – Ron being one, and a Muggle boy in the summer holidays who looked like he knew what to do – but she'd been left bereft of any orgasm by both. And she really wanted one.

She spent more than a few nights in her silenced Head Girl bedroom, sliding her fingers deep and fast inside her, rubbing her clitoris roughly with her palm - and it was... nice, she supposed. But she needed to be filled. Deep, hard and fast. Or with steady, long, slow thrusts. Didn't matter. She wanted a cock! A good one! As in, belonging to a bloke who could make her body sing with his hands, mouth and – obviously - his cock.

Her gaze fell on her wand, lying innocently on her bedside table. She couldn't conjure up the perfect lover; that was probably illegal. And he couldn't exactly hide under her bed all day until she needed him. Having a house-elf at the Head Boy and Girl's beck and call was bad enough. Taverner remonstrated with her daily because she insisted on making her bed and keeping her bedroom tidy, something she'd been doing since she was seven. Just yesterday he wailed "Miss Hermione's bad habitses is influencing Master Draco! Now he's keeping his bedroom tidy and there's less work for Taverner!" Blowing his nose on an enormous handkerchief, he sloped off to hunt down non-existent dust-bunnies under the common room furniture.

Anyway, back to her pressing problem. She could go about finding another guy to play with, but as she mentally rounded up all the boys she knew in school, she realised they were all practical jokesters or so serious in their outlook they'd probably run a mile at the sight of a nipple.

Her mind briefly wandered to the nearby door of the Head Boy, sleeping the sleep of the presumably not-so-innocent in his enormous, Slytherin-toned four-poster. Yeah, so, he was a good-looking man-boy. And he seemed to have run out of hurtful insults and hexes to throw at her. If they bumped into each other at the bathroom door, which happened this morning, he stood aside and mumbled "After you, Granger," instead of shoving her rudely out of the way and slamming the door in her face.

She didn't know what to make of Draco Malfoy now. And she didn't like that all.

Anyway, moving on.

Due to the lack of suitable young men on school grounds, Hermione cast about for other options. Picking up her pretty vine wand, she studied it for inspiration. And inspiration arrived! Logically deducing the appropriate incantation (because she'd never done this before) she gave her wand a swish and flick, and lo! Her slim, ten and three-quarter-inch wand transformed into a hefty, seven-inch thick phallus that... yes! – vibrated with a low hum when she twisted the base.

Delighted, Hermione threw off her Gryffindor duvet and divested herself of her panties and nightie. Scrabbling around in her nightstand, she pulled out a jar of lubricant and gave her play penis a nice coating. The way her slick hand slid over the vibrator's lifelike contours made her shiver. A flush spread over her chest.

Opening her legs, two fingers parted the plump folds of her labia. She traced the tip of the vibrator over the outsides of her sex, gasping out loud when it touched her clitoris. Oh, this was going to be good!

Returning to the opening of her core, Hermione took a breath and eased the vibrator in. "Oh, fuck!" she wailed, half-wondering if her silencing wards will stand up to the onslaught. But then she forgot about wards as she speared the thick phallus in and out of her greedy, needy cunt. The vibrations were exquisite, and she could feel her orgasm build. Oh gods, it felt sublime... yes, this is exactly what she was missing before!

The orgasm hit Hermione with the force of a runaway train. Her body arched off the bed and she screamed, fully screamed out loud - with euphoria, release and relief.

Across the hall, the Head Boy stirred in his sleep. Did he hear something?

No matter. Never fully awakening, Draco's brain sleepily conjured up his default dream: making love to the girl just across the hall from him.

His hand crept across his nude body and settled on his half-erect cock.

Hermione lay out of breath on the bed in a mess of riotous curls and limbs that shone with perspiration. Wow, what a great fuck, she thought with a goofy smile on her face. I'll never need a bloke again!

Ah, well. Time to scourgify.

Sleepily, her hand scrabbled once more on her bedside table for her wand – but it wasn't there.

Sitting up, she turned on her bedside light and checked the little table. No wand. She checked the floor, even under her dust bunny-less bed, but it wasn't there.

Oh, right...

Heart thumping, her eye fell on the vibrator, lying innocently on her bed.

Hell's bloody stupid bells!

How was she going to transfigure the vibrator back into her wand – without a wand?

Aaarrrrgggghhhhh!