IMPORTANT: This story contains mentions of self-harm. If you struggle with this, please know you are not alone and you are loved. If this is triggering to you, please don't read or skip over the SH parts. A story I'm writing to cope with my struggles is not worth messing up your mental health, ever. If anyone ever needs to chat, my inbox is always open:)
This story takes place in an AU timeline where Sirius and Remus rescue Harry from the Dursleys when he was young (around 4). They both teach at Hogwarts. This is Wolfstar, but it isn't the main focus of the fic.
I don't own the rights to Harry Potter in any way shape or form. That belongs to JK Rowling. In addition, I love the HP universe, but I do not support JK's transphobic comments and other hurtful remarks and beliefs. You are loved just as you are. You are enough and worthy of love.
On to the story!
Sirius Black smiled as his 5th year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs filed into History of Magic. While he wished he was teaching a subject that was a bit more exciting, he knew Dumbledore did not want him in the cursed position of DADA. Besides, his upbringing more than prepared him regarding the history of magic, especially where purebloods were concerned.
Sirius shook his head at himself and greeted some students as they came in.
"Hello, Mr. Finch-Fletchley."
"Good afternoon, Ms. Patil."
"Hi, Mr. Longbottom. How's Trevor?" He asked, hearing about what happened to him in potions.
Snape, the greasy git, had tested a shrinking potion on him, without Neville's consent, of course. Neville and the other Gryffindors were horrified and it added to the strain of the stressful year for the poor 5th years. They not only had their OWLs this year, but Voldemort had returned, Cedric had died, and the revolting toad, Umbridge, was their DADA professor. Sirius held back a shudder thinking of the slimy woman.
"He's doing much better, thanks, Professor!" Neville said. "In fact-". Neville kept talking, but Sirius didn't hear the rest of what he had to say. He noticed Ron and Hermione were walking in, looking concerned, and Harry was several feet behind him, walking on slowly, not looking happy at all.
Sirius nodded at Neville before studying his godson again. He had bags underneath his eyes and Sirius hadn't been seeing him eat much at meals in the Great Hall. He's been avoiding Sirius and Remus for months and only interacts with them when necessary. He hadn't talked as much and the trauma he went through is weighing heavy on his shoulders.
Sirius has talked to Remus about this, knowing that Harry has had no outlet and they were both so worried about him. They wanted to allow him to process and come to him when he was ready, but they knew they would have to intervene soon.
"-Thanks again for asking, professor," Neville said, finishing his story.
"Of course, Neville," Sirius said, smiling genuinely at the kind boy before walking over to Harry.
"Hi, Mr. Potter. Glad you're here." Sirius said, trying to catch Harry's eye.
"Uh, hello, Professor," Harry mumbled, briefly looking at Sirius before turning his gaze to the ground and making his way to his seat.
Sirius bit his cheek, knowing that it was not the time or moment to say anything, but knowing that he couldn't let this go on further.
He greeted a few more students before making his way to his desk and writing Remus a quick note. Sirius sealed it in an envelope, wrote Remus' name on it, and tapped it with his wand before the note went flying out of the classroom, the door shutting behind it.
Sirius scanned the classroom and clapped his hands together, effectively getting the attention of the class. "Good afternoon 5th years! Alright, it looks like you're all here today except for Ms. Abbott. Is she okay?" Sirius asked.
"Professor Black, sir, she's in the hospital wing. She's fine, just had an accident with a spell. She'll be out by tomorrow." Susan Bones said, raising her hand.
"Thank you, Ms. Bones. Please send her my regards. I will try to see her soon." Sirius said, sending her a crooked smile.
Susan smiled back at him and nodded.
"So, for today's class, I am going to lecture for a bit while you lot take notes-" He was cut off by groaning from most of the class.
Sirius held his hands up. "Hey, I've got to get you ready for your OWLs. Besides, you didn't let me finish. I'll lecture for a bit and then I'll give you all time to come up with questions and talk to each other deciding what to ask and if you all can help each other. Then we'll come back together and go over the questions. I'll even let you out 15 minutes early if you can suffer through the lecturing."
Many of the students perked up at that last part and got out their quill and parchment, ready to take notes.
Sirius allowed the students a moment to prepare before beginning.
"So, the Goblin War of 1796." He wrote that on the board and turned back to his class, continuing to talk.
Sirius lectured for the first 20 minutes or so of class and wrote on the chalkboard. He answered a few questions during the lesson, all but one coming from Ms. Granger.
While he was lecturing, he noticed most of the students were listening and taking notes. One was trying not to nod off in the back. Harry, on the other hand, looked exhausted, but very awake. He took some notes but didn't take them all. Sirius noticed him clenching and unclenching his fist and rubbing his hand. Sirius knew something was up, but he couldn't place it until Harry pushed his sleeves up.
Sirius could tell Harry had a weak concealment charm on his one hand and another on his arm.
Pushing down his worry, Sirius turned away from Harry and kept lecturing, trying to finish his topic so he could talk to Harry.
"Okay, you have 10-15 minutes to collect your thoughts and then we'll come back together," Sirius said, nodding at his class.
The students turned to each other and started talking. Since they were comfortable with each other and Sirius, it didn't take long for the classroom to get loud enough that Sirius could make his way to Harry who was just sitting there.
"Got any questions?" Sirius asked Harry kindly.
"Uh- not right now," Harry said.
"Harry, are you okay? I'd ask this after class, but you've ignored me every time I've tried to hold you after and you don't come early. I hardly see you. Please, what's going on?" Sirius asked, keeping his voice quiet enough so no one else could hear.
"I'm fine," Harry said firmly.
"Why do you have two weak concealment charms on your arms, then? Why have you taken half a page of notes when it should have been at least two pages? Did you fall during Quidditch? What's wrong?" Sirius pushed.
"I said, I'm fine," Harry said forcefully, pushing his sleeves down.
"No, you're not. You're not eating or sleeping. You haven't visited. You haven't talked to us. And Harry, I know you can do a concealment charm without me noticing. You've got to be exhausted to cast it like that. Why the glamour?" Sirius asked, not willing to give up on Harry.
"Leave me alone," Harry growled, his eyes ablaze.
Sirius may have worked on his temper over the years, but he certainly hasn't squashed it.
"That's it." He muttered, quickly grabbing Harry's hand and muttering "Finite Incantem."
Slowly, but surely, bright, angry lines began to appear that looked like words. It didn't take another second for the words to appear in all their glory.
I must not tell lies.
Sirius and Harry both froze for a second, but Sirius just managed to beat Harry.
Harry had stood up before Sirius waved his wand. Harry tried to take another step, but he was stuck.
"Class dismissed," Sirius said loudly, his voice cold. "We'll pick up where we left out next class."
"But Professor-" Hermione began.
"Leave," Sirius said, his anger threatening to boil over.
Those students scampered out of that class as fast as they would detention with Snape. Never have they seen their teacher so angry before.
Harry, once realizing he was stuck, bit his lip in anger. He quickly tasted blood and sat down, starting to stuff his backpack. He wanted no part in this. He didn't even ask for this!
When the last student left, Sirius pulled a desk over to face Harry.
"What happened?" He asked, his voice shaking with anger.
Harry didn't reply, clenching his fists.
"Harry, this is serious."
Somewhere, deep inside, Harry knew it was indeed serious because Sirius never used that word unless to joke about himself.
However, Harry had no humor right now. He couldn't 't even make a Sirius/serious joke. He was hurt and angry and wanted to leave.
"Harry James Potter!" Sirius said loudly, standing up.
Harry didn't even look up but flinched at the use of his full name and loud voice.
Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He walked over to his desk and wrote another note to Remus, this time telling him to come to the classroom as soon as he could. Sirius flicked his wand and this time the letter flew out the window.
Sirius knew he needed to calm down. He took a few breaths and looked outside before walking back over to Harry.
"Harry, pup, how did you get that?" He asked gently, trying to look at his face.
"Unstick me. I-I can't be stuck." Harry said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.
The last time he was stuck in a spot was when Voldemort had returned. Cedric had died.
Cedric had died.
Sirius nodded but before he said anything he said, "You can't just run, Harry, do you understand?"
Harry nodded, just wanting to be unstuck.
Sirius once again waved his wand and Harry felt his feet become free and he let out a breath, feeling better.
"Now about your hand-" Sirius started.
"Sir, it's from a detention I don't really want to-" Harry started, but now it was Sirius' turn to cut him off.
"A DETENTION? WHO DID THIS TO YOU? WHAT HAPPENED?" Sirius shouted, enraged.
"STOP! That's what they want, okay? Just leave it be!" Harry said, standing up.
"Who wants? What? No! No one can hurt students in detentions! Who is hurting you?" Sirius asked again, shock still clear in his voice.
Harry tugged at his sleeve, not knowing what to say next.
"Is that what the other charm is, too?" Sirius asked.
Before Harry could even deny it, Sirius canceled the glamour on Harry and he saw scars, but these didn't make words. They were lines. Some were red and angry, and others were faded pink.
Sirius blanched. "Harry. Harry!" He whispered, grabbing his godson into a hug.
Harry yanked away as soon as he could, feeling overwhelmed.
Sirius knew this, too. He saw the energy around Harry and could feel it.
"Harry, you need to calm down. We're going to talk about this, but first, we need to calm you down."
Sirius knows how powerful Harry is and he hadn't had an accidental magic outburst in years. He knew that this wouldn't be good and he didn't want his godson any more hurt than he already was.
"No! You had no right! Just leave me alone!" Harry shouted.
"I'm your professor and godfather! I have every right!" Sirius said, raising his voice.
"Fine, professor!" Harry spat, grabbing his stuff and taking a few steps back.
"Harry, what is going on? You need to talk to me," Sirius said, his voice stern.
"I'm FINE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Harry said, running out of the room.
Sirius ran after his godson. "Harry, Harry! Harry, stop!" He shouted.
Unfortunately, Harry was faster and not only ignored Sirius but nearly knocked down Remus.
"Whoa, whoa whoa! What is going on?" Remus asked, looking at his husband and where Harry just ran.
Sirius ran a hand through his hair and muttered, "Come on," as he lead Remus into the empty classroom they were by. Sirius cast a silencing charm and began to explain.
Remus was Hogwarts' resident therapist and guidance counselor. Remus loved his job. He advocated for it, knowing how he needed someone like that as a student, and much to his relief, Dumbledore agreed. Remus not only went to school to be a professor but also studied at St. Mungo's on their psychiatric floor. Remus will teach the first and second years with Sirius and switch off and the rest of the time, he will be in his office. He sees students and has talked to staff and alumni. Remus has also been known to tutor students as well.
When Harry was in History with Sirius, Remus was finishing up a session with a second-year Hufflepuff when Sirius' first letter arrived.
He quickly scanned it and said, "I apologize, Claire, please continue."
While the contents worried him, he knew he only had another 10 minutes with her and wanted to finish up.
When Claire left, Remus added a few notes to his files but was not able to shake the worry he had.
He quickly finished up before leaving his office, but only to take two steps out before finding a fight was about to break out.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Remus said, disarming the students. "Let's chat." He said.
Remus listened to them and mediated for them. He was watching them walk off before Sirius' second letter came to him.
This time, Remus went into a run.
It is certainly not normal to see Remus running in the halls, but it normally happens once a year so it wasn't completely unheard of. Besides, most of the students were in class, so it wasn't crowded.
Remus, still running was almost bowled over by Harry, whose magic was literally radiating off of him. Remus looked at Sirius who brought him into an empty classroom and put up a silencing charm.
"What is going on!?" Remus asked.
Sirius, in tears, let out an anguished yell.
Remus went into therapist mode. "Padfoot, take a breath. You're okay. What happened? Is Harry okay?"
"No, he's not. You- you need to go to him." Sirius said, falling against the wall and sliding down to sit down.
Remus followed him.
"I will, but first you need to tell me what happened."
"I asked him what was wrong. He kept avoiding us and I needed to know."
Remus already knew this wasn't good and he didn't even know half of it.
"I then saw the glamour charms he had. He can do them, we know that, but these were poorly done. I took one off and Remus, this boy had words carved into the back of his hand. I must not tell lies."
Remus' head shot up and Remus knew it would be hard to keep Moony under control.
"I know that and that's the work of a BLOODY BLOOD QUILL!" Sirius shouted. "Harry said he got it from detention. I don't know who gave it to him, he hasn't said."
Remus could tell that this wasn't the end, but he didn't know how it could get worse.
"Remus, I removed the other glamour and there were lines. Remus, he's hurting himself." Sirius choked out.
Remus' neck snapped up and looked at Sirius. "Are you positive?" He asked, his eyes becoming more amber.
Sirius nodded sadly. "I'm sure. I-I remember what it looks like." Sirius admitted.
Remus swallowed the lump in his throat and hugged his partner before kissing him on the head.
"I need to get to Harry. Are you okay until I'm back?" Remus asked.
"I'll go with you!" Sirius said, jumping up.
Remus smiled sadly. "Sirius, I love you and so does Harry. Right now, I just need it to be us."
"Remy!" Sirius whined, wanting to help his pup.
Remus shook his head.
"Fine, but we don't even know where Harry is," Sirius said.
Remus pulled the parchment from his cardigan pocket.
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He said, tapping his wand.
They opened up the map and looked for Harry, trying to find him.
"There!" Sirius shouted. "There he is!"
Remus sighed with relief. "I'll be back. Go to our quarters. Have tea and chocolate. We'll be okay." Remus said hurrying out, talking over his shoulder.
Sirius did not feel like crying where anyone could stumble upon him so he took a breath and did exactly what the doctor said before breaking down in their quarters.
Remus didn't run but did hurry his way to Harry.
He was in a somewhat secret part of the castle. It was hidden and Harry knew the password, but it was not always a secret. When Hogwarts did not need the classrooms anymore, they decided to lock that part away, knowing the castle was confusing enough without empty rooms.
Remus was trying to keep his therapist head with him and push down Moony who wanted to scoop his cub up and run away and watch him forever. Remus knew he couldn't do that.
Remus, once at the door Harry was in, double-checked the map before muttering, "Mischief managed," and pocketing it.
Remus took a deep breath and opened the door to the classroom.