Author's note: Well, here we go again. You guys voted for this on my profile, so we're on to the second part of Twilight Abridged. There's not really that much else to say, so let's get into this, shall we?

Bella: Well, here I am again, risking my life to save someone I love. How in the hell did this end up happening a second time? Honestly, who'd have thought that dating a vampire could be dangerous? You know, other than the whole 'he's strong and fast enough to kill you without a second thought' thing. And the only reason I'm the one running to save Edward is because Alice can't go out in the sunlight, which is ironically what Edward is about to do. Wait, is that too much of a spoiler? Probably shouldn't be, since if you're reading this, you've probably read the books or seen the films, right? Right? I mean, you wouldn't be reading a fanfic of this series if you hadn't, would you? Or would you? Look, I'm not going to judge your decision to ruin the series by reading the parody first, but I will question why? I mean, for Sword Art Online, it makes sense, since Something Witty Entertainment did that series WAY better than the original, but Kieran is nowhere near being on their level. Hell, I don't even understand why he puts in so much freaking effort knowing damn well he'll only get like a hundred or so views on any of his works. What kind of sad and pathetic loser is this idiot? He should just fucking give up at what he's doing and…

Edward: Uh, Bella?

Bella: What?

Edward: You're doing it again.

Bella: Doing what again?

Edward: That thing where you start rambling off-topic and making the preface longer than that of the original book.

Bella: Oh…hooray for running gags.