Okay, I don't own Harry Potter. I mean, dur. Anyway, this is a fanfic from Sirius Black's POV. He's having flashbacks as he's dying. Read on...

Chapter One:

Some say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. You see everything you did, everyone you loved and loathed, all in one second. It feels like you live your life all over again.

As I felt myself falling beyond the veil, I felt that. Not my whole life, though: I didn't see my cold-hearted family, or even much of my best friends. But I did see them.

The women of my life, every last one of them, from Sicilia Vincent to the nameless woman in a run-down pub. Everyone woman I'd ever loved and hurt, or been hurt by. Every detail of my time with them, short or long...

First came Sicilia. I was the ladies' man from the time I was four. That's when I met her, in the playground at the park. Not one of those Muggle parks: Mother detested Muggles, and besides, those parks were always boring to me, with their slides and boxes of sand. No, wizard parks were cooler then that.

So Mother actually took me to the park. She was pregnaut with Regulus at the time, so she sat on one of the benches and watched as I flew two feet off the ground on a toy broom. After I fell off and Mother scolded me for getting my robes dirty, I went off to stand in line for The Cannon: a contraption that you climb inside and are shot into the air in.

There was a girl in front of me in line, and the line was long. She had curly black hair and a mouth full of baby teeth. Her cheeks, flushed from the heat of the day, were still pudgy from baby fat.

"Can I have cuts?" I asked her, desperate to move up. She shook her head and turned away. "I'll put flobberworms in your hair if you don't let me!" I said desperately.

"I'll tell my mummy if you do!" she said, crossing her arms and scowling. Then she said, "I'll let you have cuts if you kiss me."

"Yuk, I don't want cooties!" I said in disgust.

"Cooties is a Muggle word, stupid," she said. "You don't get anything from a kiss."

"If I kiss you, you'll let me in front of you?" She nodded, so I leaned in and peaked her on the lips. She let me in front of her.

My first kiss, at the age of four. Nothing special, just something I did to move up in line. Amazing how young I learned...


I didn't have another girl experience for several years. When I was eight, I was walking down Grimmauld Place when I saw a group of kids from the nearby Muggle school. I stopped and looked at them. They wore their uniforms, and were staring at me, probably wondering who the kid was. I recognized one girl: Willow Jauger, a bony, straight-haired girl, lived on the next street. She pointed to me, and then yelled, "Black!"

I was happy to join the Muggle kids. I was lonely, living in a Muggle neighborhood with only stupid little Regulus to play with, and he was no fun, always snitching to Mother whenever I "accidentally" hit him. Oops.

"Who're you?" a boy in the group asked when I came over.

"Sirius Black."

"Why don't you go to our school?" he demanded.

"I told you, he's homeschooled by his mum, right?" Willow said, saving me from responding. I nodded.

"Yeah, homeschooled." That was what I had once told her. I didn't know what it was: Mother had told me to say that to anyone who asked.

"Oh, think you're too good for regular school?" another boy, bigger then me, demanded.

"If there are gits like you there, I'm glad I'm not," I shot back. I never know when I keep my mouth shut.

Well, the two boys in the group started chasing me down the street, as Willow yelled after them to stop. I turned a corner, and disapeared.

"Where'd he go?" I heard the fat bloke demand to his friend. They didn't see me sitting at the top of the tree. Ha ha losers, magic saves the day.

"Come on, let's go," the other said.

Willow came walking along a little while later, heading for home. I heard her hiss, "Sirius? Where are you?"

"Up here!" I called. She stared up at me. I jumped down, landing in a cat-like position before her. She gasped.


I grinned. "Must be magic." Then I felt stupid for saying that: Willow was a Muggle, after all, and I didn't need to go spreading around that I was a wizard. The kids in the neighborhood that did know me thought I was strange enough.

"You wanna come to my house for tea?" she asked. "Mum said it was alright if I invited someone..."

I didn't really care about asking my mum if I could go to tea at a Muggle's house. She would've said no, anyway, so why ask? So I went with Willow to her house.

Willow's house was much brighter then mine, and there weren't creepy house-elf heads lining the walls. Her mum seemed nice enough, with her simple dress and apron and smile. She was certainly a good change from my mum, with her robes and shawls and clinky jewlery, and her constant scowl. Honestly, the woman looked like some sort of wannabe seer!

I was happy that Mrs. Jauger didn't ask me where I lived: to Muggles, there is no such thing as Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. I went to tea a lot at the Jaugers, at least twice a week for nearly three months, and Mum was none the wiser as to my whereabouts.

Willow and I had fun. We would play in her room. Did I mind playing with dolls? Not really: it beat having Regulus cry everytime I beat him at Wizard Chess. Was it my fault he didn't know how to play? Besides, the doll playing wasn't too bad: Willow made up for that...

So we kissed a few times. We probably were a little more friendly then we should have been at the tender age of eight (although I think Willow was nine). But it was all in good fun. Besides, as long as Mum didn't find out...

But stupid Regulus had to get in the way. He saw me with Willow one day. I threatened and pleaded and bargained with him, but when my brother got it on his mind to snitch on me. He loved to watch Mum spank me with her broom.

"A MUGGLE?" she thundered. "How COULD you? You're besmirching the name of Black, Sirius..." I smiled at the word "besmirching", but Mum was being perfectly serious.

So I was grounded. Willow thought I was snobby for not playing with her anymore, and she sent her little bloke friends after me. I narrowly escaped, hiding out on Number 7 Grimmauld Place's roof for two hours.

Those were my two experiences with girls before school. Hogwarts must have been were I had the most meaningful experiences with love...