A/N: EDIT: Well, didn't take long for the trolls to crawl out T_T

...bloody internet went out, yesterday sorry about that. Only just got it back.

Blast! I wanted to update A New Archon yesterday and I'm Still Here/Everybody Wants to Be My Enemy toda!

But then I booted up my computer to find the request in my email. Whyyyyy did someone have to give me a request The Boys? That made me curious, and so I dove into the show. Followed by that episode of Diabolical with a semi-nice Homelander...aaaaargh! Why you do this?!

And then that trailer for season three dropped...with that song. Bones, by Imagine Dragons.

I'm well aware this story might be...unpopular, compared to some, but I the request-giver was so bloody persistent!

They've since asked to remain anonymous, and I'll respect their wishes, but for crying out loud, I really didn't expect the idea to be that good.

As ever, we're following the Ember's Rule here. That's no joke. Really, it isn't. If folks don't like this...well, it won't be continued. Every bit of feedback helps. Reviews are the fuel which keeps me writing in these crazy times. With my tight schedule -two jobs!- I simply don't have time to write a story folks don't like. Without them, my inspiration cannot take wing and I can't write a word. So by all means, speak up!

The fate of this story depends on you, the reader.

Alright, then! I think I've kept you all waiting long enough, no?

As ever, I own no references, themes, or memes. Not a wit, not a one!

I'll warn you right now; you should brace yourself. This story doesn't pull any punches.

Don't push a good man; for good men have limits, and once you break past those...it never ends well.

"Hey, you're finally awake."

...awake? How long was I out for...?

Couple of days at least. I'm still out of it myself. Must've been the drugs.

They actually think these restraints can hold us? After all we've been through?"

"Apparently. Lets show them the error of their ways."

"Yes...lets."

~A Human Weapon.

Break the System

The alarms wailed.

The boy could hear the sirens from his room -his cell!- an endless and steady staccato that grew louder with each passing moment; despite his best efforts to ignore it. The enclosed walls of his room muffled most noise but only just; although his window could see the red lights in the hall, see the fleeing sice Clamping his hands over his ears did him no good; it barely impeded the noise; a wailing cacophony interposed by screams, flashing red lights and...what was that last sound? He couldn't tell.

.

..

...he wasn't sure he wanted to.

Whump. Whump. Whump. There it went again. Soft, loud, then soft again, that odd noise beat against his temple like a drum, bringing with it a pounding migraine. Standing on the very tips of his toes, the boy peered through the glass porthole of his door. Flashes of light danced in the corridor, sharp and deadly, interposed by racing shadows -people?- fleeing in the opposite direction. Some were shouting, others cursing, all of them muted and indistinct. He tried and failed to make sense of them. But one thing was certain.

They were, all of them, running away from something.

One of the fleeing scientists looked his way, her face writ with horror. Eyes wild she raced his way and pounded against the door.

"Let me in!" her voice piqued in naked fear as she shook the latch. "He's coming! Please, for the love of god! Let me in!"

Something struck her from behind her from behind, rendering her face intimate with the glass in a way no self-respecting student of science wanted. Her face hit the window, stunning her. Behind her. The boy glimpsed a figure of purest gold in the dark, carved in the shape of a man. Too bright to look at. The woman whirled, seeing its reflection in the glass.

"No! I'm sorry!" her voice rose in a hysterical shriek as the light advanced upon her. "We didn't mean to! I'm sorry! I'm so sorr-ack?!"

Her voice died in an ugly gurgle as the light dove on her. Her cries cut off with a gurgle...then a splat.

"That," a low voice growled just outside his door, "Was for drugging me."

A puddle of great glistening red slid under the door, pushing through the seal.

Something stomped down on it. "Not so easy when I can fight back now, is it?! Well?! Whaddya say?!"

The boy jerked back, covering his hands with his mouth to muffle the sob that threatened to break free. Blanket. Where was his blanket? He didn't feel safe without his blanket. He found it in the corner of his cell and clutched it close to his chest, taking what comfort he could in the thin fabric. Breathe. Just breathe. He needed to breathe. The monster couldn't get him in here. He was safe here. A tiny sob pushed past his lips and he immediately cursed himself for it.

Because the monster heard him. A faint shuffled against the floor was his only warning. And then.

"...somebody in there?"

Something -an arm?- slammed through the door, puncturing it like so much wet paper. Somehow, the hinges held. As he looked on aghast, a red eye squinted through the fist-shaped hole within. Inhuman. Devilish. Pupil shaped like a cat, it stared into his very soul, framed by a glowing face. It blinked at him, narrowing now as it comprehended him at the last. The boy gulped, fear rooting him where he stood.

That awful red eye blinked anew and the face pulled away thrice as fast.

"Oh, jeez." he heard someone mutter, voice clear through the wounded metal. "Didn't know there was anyone in here, kid. Didn't mean to scare ya. Stand back a little, will ya?"

He jolted back, scrambling for the wall, clutching his blanket close.

Then came the hand.

It reached around almost lazily, seizing the hole that had been formed. Another joined it, grasping the metal handhold. Powerful palms folded clenched and with a keening whine of tortured meta, it gave. He peeled it back with callous ease, crumpling the steel like so much tinfoil. Someone stepped through the gab. Not something. Someone. It was hard to call it a monster once he realized it had a human face.

The first thing he noticed was the glow. That, and his smile, chipper and bright.

His entire body just...shone. A deep and sunny golden red, etched with black marks. Like the sun itself. No, that wasn't quite right. He didn't shine. He burned. Even from this distance he had to squint just to look at him such as the light. As he looked on it dimmed, allowing him to see.

Whiskered cheeks dimpled in faint smile, red eyes gleaming bright.

"Easy, now." golden palms rose, showing himself unarmed. "I'm not gonna hurt you...

The boy looked past the stranger. Saw the mangled body of the scientist sprawled as his feet. Gulped once.

Some of his fear must have show through; because the blond sighed. He stepped forward, blocking the sight of that crimson cadaver with his body.

"Aw, hell. I know what this looks like." he scratched the back of his head, "That's on me. I lost my temper." words babbled out as he hastened to explain himself. "She...wasn't a good person. Kept me drugged up for who knows how long. She enjoyed it." a shudder shook him as he swallowed a snarl. "But you're blameless in this. Just relax. I swear, I'm not going to-

Bullets spattered harmlessly against his shoulders, to no effect. The boy jumped.

A lone soldier stood behind him, fumbling to reload. Not for long.

...really?" the intruder -escapee?- craned his neck back, eyes burning, twin coals in his skull. "Your kind never learn, do you? Fine." Something firmed in his face. "Another witness wont hurt."

Faster than the boy could blink, a giant golden arm burst out of the man's back and flattened the soldier against a wall. The boy tensed, expecting an explosion of gore or worse, but no, the blazing palm broke off from his body, pinning the guard to the steel surface like a spider trapped in a web. Arms trapped, legs bound, he flailed there, to no avail. Clenched knuckles struck the side of his head, knocking him senseless.

"Right, then." the blond turned, clapped his hands twice. "Sorry about that. Now where were we?"

Oh, god. He was going to die. This lunatic was going to kill him. Fight. He had to fight back. He could do this. Vogelbaum always said he was strong-

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." A golden finger rose as the boy stepped forward, cutting him short. "Like I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya." his smile thinned. "But I'm not above defending myself."

The boy retreated half a pace. "D-Did you read my mind?"

"Nah, Just your emotions. Pretty handy a that."

"W-W-W-Why are you here?"

"Eh," the young man waffled one hand, "Woke up in this place after my best friend tried to kill me." only then did he notice the heavy web of scars dotting his right arm through the cloak. "Blew my arm off, too! Can you believe it!" He made a fist with it and the fingers complied, albeit stiffly. "Took me days to grow this thing back."

People...people didn't just grow back limbs. Mad. This man was absolutely mad.

"As to how I got here...?" Despite his fear, or perhaps in spite of it, the blond turned, crossing both arms behind his head. "I don't really know. One minute I was bleeding out with him in that valley, the next, bam!" An arm swung out, fist smacking into an empty palm. "I woke up here. Probably fell through a portal or something. Sasuke really likes to spam those things." without warning, his smile darkened. "Folks here thought they could strap me down to a table and stick me full of drugs. Worked for awhile." he shrugged. "Couldn't do much while I was out of my mind. Didn't much like that, so I'm breaking out."

He offered him his scarred hand.

"Wanna come with?"

The thought startled the boy. No one had ever asked what he wanted before. Not really. Always tests and pain, poking and prodding, learn this say that, fight this person, training left and right. He dared a glance out into the corridor and the blond let him; let him see the broken bodies and the ruined halls he'd left behind. More than a few men and women were glued to the walls courtesy of those strange golden claws...but he'd left behind his fair share of corpses, too. Did he really want to stay here? They might blame him for this.

"I'm not trying to trick you." the bloodied man knelt before him. "Honest. Do you want to stay here?" he cocked his head to one side, rather reminding him of a fox. "Or do you wanna go?"

.

..

...a seed of hope sprouted in the boy's chest. "Where would we go?"

The whiskered warrior clasped him by the shoulders. "First, I wanna expose these guys. But after that? Wherever we want."

That tiny seed of hope bloomed into a towering tree. Was this what it felt like to have a brother-no! A father? Nothing like Vogelbaum, this one. They said he was his father, but he didn't believe that. Couldn't be. Wasn't possible. Fathers were meant to be more than this. And at the end of the day, he was every bit a child, craving for acceptance.

...who are you, really?"

"Right, I never did introduce myself, did?" the man rose, grinning ear to ear. "I'm Naruto. And you are?"

Something about that smile broke through the last of his fear.

...John."

"Nice to meet ya, John~!" The young man smiled. "So? Ready to go?"

His body betrayed him and he surged forward. He tackled him, squeezing his ribs.

"Ouch!" The older man swayed back with a laugh. "Quite the grip you've got there!"

He didn't break. Not like the others. No matter how hard he squeezed him, he stood firm. He grunted in surprise, sure, but the hand that tousled his hair was calm and not fraught with pain. His palm didn't even tremble. With the other arm he reached around and patted his back, drawing him into an awkward embrace.

"Stronger than ya look, ain'tcha?" his voice was a low chortle. Bemused blue eyes blinked down at him. "Hmm. Lookin' a little thin, there. Lets get out of here and get you a proper meal. Whaddya say?"

John rather liked the sound of that. His meals were always chosen for him. The sudden ability to choose, to think for himself, .Family. Someone he couldn't hurt. Someone he couldn't break. It was frightening...and exciting. This would be a good thing. He felt in his bones.

One day he might well become a menace.

Homelander, greatest hero of America.

But for now? He was just a boy.

A/N: To clarify! its been stated at least once in the show that Homelander's real name is John. Hope that clears things up.

Congratulations, Naruto. You've just made yourself Vought's greatest enemy for all the wrong reasons.

Will this give rise to a decent Homelander? Is such a thing possible? Only time will tell.

Archon will be updated next.

As ever, we're following the Ember's Rule here. That's no joke. Really, it isn't. If folks don't like this...well, it won't be continued. Every bit of feedback helps. Reviews are the fuel which keeps me writing in these crazy times. With my tight schedule -two jobs!- I simply don't have time to write a story folks don't like. Without them, my inspiration cannot take wing and I can't write a word. So by all means, speak up!

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...Review, Would You Kindly?

And of course, enjoy the previews. Potential ones.

(Previews~!)

"Remember, John. With great power comes great responsibility. Heroes help people. They don't do it for fame. They don't do it for the money. They don't it for sponsorship deals." he drew him into a brisk hug, drew back, and held him by the shoulders. "A hero is just that. A hero. Nothing more. Nothing less."

"Then why do they help people, dad?"

His father faltered a little at that.

"That's fair." The scarred blond chuckled. "Alright." he guided him away from the rooftop ledge. "Lemme tell you a story...

"I can fly!"

Naruto slapped his forehead.

"So you can. Well, didn't see that coming...

"Vought? The hell is a Vought?"

"You have something that belongs to me."

"They want scary? Fine. I'll show 'em scary. Don't fuck with a prank master."

"Intruders." he blew out an angry breath, expelling a cloud of steam into the frigid room. "So eager to enter. But twice as eager to leave when the tables are turned...

His head rose. Blue eyes gleamed a sinister, slitted scarlet in the dark. "Tell me intruders. How eager are you to leave?"

The hit squad opened fire. Flesh flashed gold. Blood spattered.

"Is one life not worth the future of this country?"

"I know your kind. You'll never stop at one! Come on, then." he turned his head, spat out a tooth, and spread his arms. "I'll take you all on."

"Look, lady. You reeeaaally don't want to do this. I'm warning you."

Stormfront tilted her head. "And how strong are you?"

Naruto exhaled in a long suffering out a soft sigh.

...strong enough."

He waded n.

R&R~!