When Forever Ends
Author's Note:This takes place AFTER the Order of the Phoenix; do not read this unless you have COMPLETED book five.
Summary:Harry's world was shaken forever after the death of his godfather. But he's beginning to learn things about Sirius that he wished he never had. Could it be that the Sirius Black in which Harry thought he knew was a lie?
Disclaimer:Basically I own nothing except the things I make up. You decide which are which.
Chapter Two: Emotions
Harry arrived at the feast about halfway in. Now all heads already would've turned to see the latecomer, but seeing he was Harry Potter they paused for even longer. The room went almost silent as if expecting him to start shooting off curses at them.
Professor Dumbledore seemed to notice this standing up from his seat, "Welcome back to Hogwarts Harry, were just enjoying this wonderful feast. Do join us."
Harry nodded uneasily as he spotted Hermione and Ron. Ron seemed to be avoiding his glace, but Hermione smiled at him as he came closer. Trying his hardest to ignore the stares around him, he quickly moved toward the Gryffindor table.
"What haven't you ever been late to something before?", Harry heard Hagrid's voice speaking to the crowd, "I'm sure Harry is very sorry, now go back to what you were doing."
Harry looked over at Hagrid thankfully before he'd finally sat down next to Hermione. She began throwing food on a plate for him, but he gently pushed it away.
"Hermione…I'm really not hungry", Harry began before turning back to Ron, "you're mad at me aren't you?"
"And what would make you think that?", Ron snapped sarcastically, "look I don't know what's wrong with you, but everyone's going through the same thing as you. Only acting less selfish about it"
"Ron!", Hermione glared at the redhead sitting across from her, "leave poor Harry alone. I thought we talked about this-"
Harry stopped her, "Its okay Hermione. Not everyone can be as perfect as Ron after all. I'm just going to go up to bed…what's the password?"
Hermione quickly stood up before either boy could react, "Unless you want me embarrass you both in front of the whole school you'll follow me."
Harry looked over to Ron to see if he was following Hermione. Ron seemed to be doing the same. Hermione had already stormed out of the Great Hall obviously willing Ron and him to follow. Finally both boys, keeping a safe distance from one another, began walking toward the exit doors.
"Excuse me", Harry felt a hand grab his arm, "excuse me but I couldn't help but notice you're being very rude."
Harry turned around annoyed. It was a girl. But as he opened his mouth to speak she'd already turned to ignore him.
"Do I know you?", Harry asked confused, "because I don't normally accuse people I don't know of being rude. Because maybe they had a perfectly good reason and-"
The girl rolled her eyes setting her glass back down on the table, "You're one of those people who aren't going to give up until they've been proven right aren't you Harry?"
"I'm out of here", Harry shrugged angrily.
She stuck out her hand saying, "Torrance Tarver. I'm new here. But it was nice meeting you even though you're still rude."
"Why am I rude? Making assumptions before you know someone isn't the smartest thing to do. I don't care what news paper article or what have it you read about me."
She tilted her head to the side, "You're in the newspaper? Hmm, never would've known. No, I heard about you from that boy over there actually."
Harry looked to where she was pointing. His eyes widened when he realized the boy was Draco Malfoy.
Harry shook his head, "Him? He's the furthest thing from a friend you could ever have. If you take any advice around here take this, stay away from Malfoy."
"Well if you can't trust your own family who is there to trust?", Torrance stared up at Harry, "but I guess that isn't the case with my family. Draco's my cousin. My cousin that hates me, but seems to like to tell me what to do. He told me not to talk to you., which sorry to say, but gave me even more reason to talk to you."
"Well…", Harry stuttered taken aback, "I should get going my friends-"
"The ones you were arguing with?", Torrance spoke up brushing a strand of hair from her eyes, "or the one that's staring at you at that table over there."
"The ones that--", Harry began, "Who? Who's staring at me?"
"I told you! That kid over there! The one with the multi colored hair that does absolutely nothing for his already horrendous appearance", Torrance signed, "maybe you should go talk to him."
"Are you sure it's not you he's staring at?", Harry looked over at the boy who was seated one table over.
"I don't think he's staring actually. Looks more like observing. Some people like to do that you know. Usually people who are searching for something. Instead of just plain selfish like you, his soul is empty."
"So now I'm selfish?", Harry rolled his eyes finally sitting down in the open seat next to Torrance, "you generated all this just from this short conversation?"
"You have the aura around you. I can usually see these things in people…it's a gift I know. So Harry Potter, tell me, what's troubling you. Fame finally get to you?", Torrance paused seeing the expression on Harry's face, "are you okay? Maybe I'm wrong this time, prove me wrong."
"Harry!", Hermione's voice came from behind him, "Ron already left thanks so much. We are not going through another year like this."
Harry turned around looking at Hermione, "So why aren't you talking to him? You did hear what he said to me didn't you?"
"Excuse me", Torrance put a hand on Harry's shoulder, "Maybe you should let Harry here fight his own battles. I just can't stand it when people try to get in between like that--"
Hermione glared at Torrance, "I don't know who you are but just stay out of this. Come on Harry now."
"Hermione times have changed", Harry stared at Hermione, "I've changed. I don't need this dramatic cobwebbed up lifestyle. I just can't handle it anymore!"
Torrance frowned at Harry, "You're not breaking up with the poor girl are you?"
Harry and Hermione snapped back in unison stating, , "We are not going out!"
"Alright", Torrance rolled her eyes, "You both need to chill out. You're starting to stress me out!"
Hermione grabbed Harry's arm pulling him out of his seat, "It was very nice meeting you, but Harry needs to be elsewhere at the moment."
"I'm tired myself", Torrance reached for a small bag next to her, "Could one of you tell me where the Gryffindor Dorms are?"
Hermione's mouth snapped open in horror, "You're in Gryffindor? Sitting at the wrong table then aren't you?"
"Yeah I guess so", Torrance shrugged, "But then again I don't really get along with rules."
"Oh hi Professor Lupin!", Hermione grinned seeing Torrance biting her lip, "Harry was just introducing me to his new friend."
"I'll be leaving now", Harry pulled away from Hermione, "goodnight everyone!"
"Harry hold up", Lupin put a firm hand on his shoulder, "we need to have a little talk. It was nice meeting you…hope you had a good summer Hermione."
"I really just wanted to go to bed. That's all. Wasn't planning on doing anything else to cause anymore excitement tonight.", Harry turned to face Lupin, "did I do something wrong?"
"Harry I know I don't need to press upon you the fact that you need to be very careful this year", Lupin looked over his shoulder, "we should probably go somewhere else."
"Professor Lupin I don't need the Harry be a good boy pep talk", Harry replied, "I'm fine! I'm sorry about today but honestly I'm fine now. In fact I've never been better."
Lupin shook his head, "I'm sure. Let's go Harry."
"Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like what you're about to say?", Harry stepped back, "I can take care of myself if you haven't noticed."
"Were not doing this out here", Lupin pushed Harry down the hall into a small classroom, "Harry you can't take care of yourself. You think with your heart and not your brain and its something that's always been a problem for you. Why I had to be the one to talk to you, I don't know but this is what Professor Dumbledore wanted-"
"What are they finally expelling me?", Harry laughed softly.
"Harry you're not allowed to be anywhere without an adult anymore", Lupin finally let it out, "and I'd listen to Professor Dumbledore's orders before it gets worse."
"WHAT?", Harry yelled in frustration, "how am I supposed to have a life? And what the heck is this suppose to accomplish? Am I being punished? I won't live like that. I'd rather be expelled, can't you just expel me?"
"You know it's really not that bad", Lupin assured Harry, "and you have to understand. Look what happened with Ron today. It's not punishment, it's because we care about you."
"Or rather you're trying to keep the students at this school safe from me", Harry slammed his fist against his leg, "you do realize you can't order me around for much longer. Once I graduate I'm going far far away from here. I hate you, and I hate everyone else here!"
"For goodness sake Harry what the hell are we supposed to do? You don't listen to what we say so I've given up hope that some sort of rules would work. You brought it on yourself and that's all I can say."
"If you don't mind I'm going to bed like I wanted to do before", Harry snapped furiously, "and just so you know…Sirius would never do this to me."
"Sirius is dead Harry!", Lupin shouted, "it's about time you realize that! He's not coming back, and you've spent to long denying it."
"Just stay away from me", Harry shook his head with a look of disgust on his face, "of every person in the world I thought you would be the one to understand. I should have expected it. Nobody cared about me when my parents were killed, and they sure don't now."
"HARRY", Lupin shouted taken aback by Harry's words. But Harry had already pulled a disappearing act. He'd already fled from the room.
Lupin sat down in one of the desks whispering softly to himself, "I guess that means you don't want your wand back."
Harry had never felt the way he felt right now ever before in his life. It was anger, sadness, and hurt all wrapped up into one. It tore his heart in two to think Lupin was already over Sirius' death. He wasn't sure where to go after he ran out on Lupin. He only knew he needed to go somewhere he wouldn't be interrupted. Somewhere he could sort his thoughts out.
So he took his father's invisibility cloak and started walking. He slammed the double doors at the front of the school open, and stormed outside. The weather seemed to be acting exactly how he felt. It was raining quite hard, but he didn't care.
Finally he tore off the cloak staring up at the cloudy sky. He remembered his first day at Hogwarts. How magical and innocent it had seemed. If someone told him the years he had ahead, he never would've believed them.
He never would've believed he'd meet his father's best friend. He never would've last year believed he could've lost Sirius just as fast. And now? Now everyone was not afraid of what he'd do, but afraid of him. Momentarily he wished he could simply drown himself in the rain. He wished he could stop life, and take a moment to breathe. And most of all, he wished Sirius Black was still alive.
But as much as he expected it, nobody came looking for Harry Potter that night. In fact he fell asleep even with the rain pouring on his face. But as gently as he'd fallen asleep, waking up was much rougher.
"Ouch!", Harry winced with pain as his eyes snapped open. It took a minute to realize where he was, and how he'd gotten there.
"Let's go Potter. Some of us would like to get back to our jobs", Professor Snape stood above Harry, "yes Potter for some reason the whole school shuts down when you go missing."
Harry stood up his wet clothes sticking to his sides. If Snape's anger was anything to go by, he knew it'd get worse. He hadn't meant to not return to his bed. He'd just simply put, fallen asleep.
"Potter do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?", Snape finally spoke after the two had started walking, "for once in your life maybe you could just listen to what someone superior to you has to say. As hard as it is for me to call Lupin superior to anyone…it doesn't bother you at all to yell at him does it?"
"What do you mean?", Harry questioned, "What'd he tell you?"
Snape sighed with irritation , "Well he lost Black too you know. All the things you've lost, he's lost. Only he doesn't go around acting like a selfish brat does he?"
Harry stopped walking, "What do you care anyway? You've hated me since day one. Wouldn't me being a selfish brat just give you an easier reason to hate me?"
"You don't really want me to answer that do you?", Snape continued walking, "just get inside Potter."
As awkward as he felt, Harry finally gave in tearing the door open. He looked to Snape curious where he was suppose to go from here. But Snape gave him to signal to follow, Harry decided it was a good idea on his own. Finally a few corridors later his face scrunched up unsure why they'd stopped in front of the door they had.
Harry glanced at the infirmary sign, "Thanks for caring but if you haven't noticed I'm perfectly fine"
"What did I just tell you about listening to people that are wiser then you are?", Snape snapped back giving Harry a push.
The room was completely deserted, as it was the first day of real classes. No test anxiety or pranks had yet sent any students to the hospital wing. Everyone except Harry that was.
"There you are Potter!", Madam Pomfrey came rushing out with a handful of things in her arms, "plop yourself right up on this bed."
"But I'm not sick", Harry looked from Snape to Madam Pomfrey, "I'm not!"
"Dear why don't you just change out of those wet clothes before you get sick. That is if you haven't already", Madam Pomfrey tossed some pajamas Harry's way, "Professor Dumbledore will be down soon then Severus?"
Harry pulled the curtains around him ignoring the conversation going on between the two adults. He gladly changed out of his wet robs as quickly as possible. But even as he tried to ignore he couldn't help when the conversation turned to something very dear to his heart. Pushing the curtain back, he strained to hear the whispers coming from the next room.
He could barely make out Snape's voice, "Is it really worth it? Malfoy's going to come up with some other excuse even if they do find a will. And besides Black probably doesn't need anyone searching through his belongings. It'd only draw more attention to--"
"Good morning Harry"
Harry turned around with shock to see who had spoken to him. Albus Dumbledore sat down on the bed nearest to Harry. Harry noticed a look of concern on his face.
"I figured it was time for me to talk to you", Dumbledore's eyes were fixed on Harry, "you seemed to have forgotten the rule don't kill the messenger."
Even though he knew it was a joke, Harry still remained silent unsure of what to say. His eyes remained on the ground, though he could still feel Dumbledore's upon him.
Dumbledore spoke not allowing Harry to interrupt, "Harry we both know what you've been through in the past few months, and even the past few years. I know you're angry, and Remus isn't the one to direct it at. I can already promise you there are tougher times ahead. Harry you're going through a test right now that only you can pass yourself through."
"A test?", Harry blurted out, "so now Sirius' death is just something plotted to get me prepared to fight Voldemort? Well I don't want the job!"
Dumbledore stood from his seat, "Harry there are ways for us to help you, but only if you let us. The running away and yelling isn't healthy for you or anyone around you. You have to face reality. And I'm not even talking as far as Voldemort. Right now my main, and only concern is you."
"Me?", Harry questioned as if something stupid had been said, "I'm afraid I don't understand sir."
Harry noticed Dumbledore shift uneasily, "Harry, if you have to ask that then you truly haven't learned a thing since your arrival at Hogwarts. Magic can only take you so far. There's so much we can teach you, and I'm not at all worried about you not learning it all before you graduate. But I'm afraid in trying to keep you safe at the Dursley's there are things you missed out on. Things you should've learned when you were a small child."
Harry noticed someone else enter the room, but Dumbledore took no notice of this. It was Remus Lupin that had entered the room, but he paused in the doorway. There was something about when Albus Dumbledore spoke. Everyone stopped what they were doing and froze in place to listen.
"Harry, you don't know how to love and you don't know how to let yourself be loved", Dumbledore motioned something to Lupin.
"That's just stupid", Harry shook his head, "of course I know how to…well you know. I'm not the head case you're describing. I'm just not."
"I'll leave you two alone", Dumbledore whispered to Lupin, "but I need to have a word with you later Remus."
Lupin nodded seeming to understand Dumbledore's message. As he watched the headmaster walk away he felt strange once again being in the same room as Lupin.
"I'm sorry about the things I said", Harry blurted out, "I don't know what's wrong with me these days. I seem to be making everyone hate me."
"We're just pushing to hard to get the old Harry back", Remus shook his head, "but believe me I'll step away if that's what you need. Just please don't scare me like that again…."
"But I do need you!", Harry jumped off the bed he'd been seating on, "you….you're all I have left. I'm just so scared that…that you'll die too."
No words were needed to be spoken. It was clear to Harry at that moment that he needed Lupin as much as Lupin needed him. It was time for him to be angry at the right person. It was time for him to get his revenge. It was time Harry prepared for the war ahead.
Life's been throwing me some craziness curveballs lately which is why this chapter is both short and late. But it was pretty much a transitional chapter anyway. I promise you the depressing stuff is going to take a left turn and we are going to take a right turn. The true plot as described in the summary will start next chapter.
But wow! I'm like speechless about how many reviews you people pumped in! I have to say 28 for one chapter is a new record for me. So keep them coming! I love reading them and they truly do inspire me to write more.
But I just want to take a moment to make one thing perfectly clear. As close as I'm going to try to stay to the plot, there are some things I am going to change. Most of you didn't seem to care, but one person pinned me for something that would never happen in the real book.
Thank You For Your Ever Growing Support!
Kurbani- Awww…thank you kindly! There is romance planned, although I won't say who with who. Because that'd ruin the story!
Sango-hanyou- Very dramatic…and this one was too. But there's lighter stuff coming I promise! I just couldn't start the story with Harry all happy…cause well you know that'd be strange. But thanks!
Rathien1- Thanks I will!
Sky Brooks- Well glad ya found it! And I'm glad to be of service. I just hope this chapter lived up to the last one. First chapters are easy cause there's no pressure to get them out.
Latonya- That's exactly what I was trying to do. Glad it worked!
Whitemudfounder- Yeah it was a long time…L . Sorry bout that.
Katydid- Please see above. That's all I can say.
Sara*magic- That is exactly why I had to write it. I started it the minute I finished the book so I was still crying while I wrote it…
Skysong15- Thank you kindly!
Elessar- Ditto! Or if ya didn't read what I just wrote…thank you kindly!
Mella- I might've touched on this for about one line if you noticed. But this is something I'll be dealing with in the future. And just for some interesting information, the Malfoy's are actually closer on the family tree then the Weasley's are. Even though there both distant.
Guardian angel of wolves- With that many pleases I just had to!
Arwena- Why are we all so sick in the fact that we love to see Harry's tantrums and stuff? And fights! Geeze were all a bunch of weirdoes. And I'm one too because I love writing them. But I'm glad to be back!
Harry twin- Will do!
Them Girl- Thanks a bunch.
Anaticulapraecantrix- Sam…haha that made me laugh. Thanks! Sam kinda disappeared….wonder where he went!
Miss. Issues- Nice name…haha. Favorite author…wow I'm honored to make that list. Thank you so much!
CNJ- Another famillar name…Harry's going to get better don't worry. I'd be the same way as he was right now if my godfather had just died though. Harry was just learning what love was and it was taken away from him.
Bookworm2000- Disappearing act…haha that's great. But thanks.
Mella deRanged- Wow I was glancing at your bio…glad I met the requirements! And I think I'll copy what I just said to someone else because I'm getting lazy: I might've touched on this for about one line if you noticed. But this is something I'll be dealing with in the future. And just for some interesting information, the Malfoy's are actually closer on the family tree then the Weasley's are. Even though there both distant.
Someone- Thanks! But I really don't know how to beat out Sooner or Later. People really seemed to love that one.
Istalksiriusonweekends- Of course I remember you! You're one of those cool beans people that talks to me online! But thanks!
Katie- Awww…I'm sorry. But they're gone. It wasn't that I didn't have support…I don't know what happened really. But this is where I am now and I hope you love this story just as much.
Dragania Amma Lyris Malfoy- Wow! Quite the penname you've got there. I sure hope your right. This chapter was quite rushed…I promise to make up for it next time around.
Cierra- I love that name. It makes me sad to. But it's part of our grieving process! Oh my god did I really just say that…haha.
Gia- Thank you kindly!
Ashley- Cool beans! Well I'm glad you love my stories so much. And waLAH. Here's the chapter you asked for.
Author's 2nd Note: (haha couldn't resist)
That was a long author's note. I'm sure I'll take grief from one of you about that! But until next time please review! I can't tell you enough how much I loved all the reviews that came in.