The Mustache

By Elbereth in April

Disclaimer: I don't Dragonball GT, it just provides me with really strange inspirations.

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Chapter 1: The Conception

Vegeta wondered how he got talked into these things. "Help me with my homework, Daddy?" she'd said, looking up at him with those big, blue eyes. Hn. If Frieza knew what a pushover he'd become. . . well, if Frieza were around today, he'd obliterate him before he had a chance to find out. . .

Meanwhile, Bra was sitting at the table next to him, showing him something in a textbook. He looked at it. "History? Earth history? How would I know about that? Why would I care?"

"Come on, Daddy, you can figure it out." She was smiling at him.

He sighed. "Fine. What does it say?"

"This is Stalin, he was a dictator in Russia. Killed a lot of people. He was very powerful." She pointed at his picture. "This is Hitler. He killed millions of people, too. He ruled Germany and almost took over all of Europe. Oh, this one is Teddy Roosevelt, he was a President of the United States-he was quite powerful, too, and he won some battles. Saddam Hussein, another powerful ruler, and a nasty killer. Genghis Khan, he conquered all kinds of people. Oh, and here's Hercule Satan. . . you know about him, of course. Daddy? Are you listening?

Vegeta was staring at the book. A strange thought had come over him as he looked at the pictures in Bra's book. Those were all, apparently, very powerful men. And they all had one thing in common: mustaches.

Could there possibly be a correlation?

Could having a mustache make one more powerful?

Not in space, obviously, look at Frieza, and not strength-wise, look at Hercule Satan. . . but here on Earth, power wasn't always given to the physically strong. For some reason. Maybe humans believed having a mustache made one more worthy of ruling. Maybe men with mustaches were given more respect. . .

"Vegeta! Where are you?" Bulma's voice screamed from somewhere in the house. "What did you do to this suit? You deliberately destroyed it, didn't you? Honestly, if you don't behave yourself, I'll turn off the gravity room for a month!"

Heaven knows, he needed more respect around here.

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Author's Note: Some of the men mentioned in this story are/were evil killers, but all of them have ruled countries and other people, and that would be all that Vegeta would care about. So don't be upset, OK? This is just supposed to be funny.

These chapters are all going to be pretty short.