The Bionic Woman
In Silence
by the lurker

Oscar's Office, OSI

No one had heard from her in three weeks. He had to proceed as though something had happened to her, although his heart fought against him. A team had gone through her carriage house with a fine tooth comb, and come up with nothing. There was no sign of a struggle, no note stating that she had left of her own free will, and everything was exactly where it should have been. Helen and Jim couldn't shed any light on her disappearance, nor had they heard from her.

Oscar couldn't get rid of the knot that had planted itself in the pit of his stomach, anymore than he could keep the worry from tearing him up inside. He had put out an APB on Jamie, but so far there hadn't been so much as a trace. And then there was Hansen and his damned theories. The head of the NSB was convinced that Jamie had deserted the OSI in favor of living her own life her own way.

His pacing increased as the thoughts in his head turned darker. Sitting on the couch, Rudy shook his head at his friend.

Oscar, calm down. I'm sure Jamie's fine, and that there is a simple explanation for all of this.

And if there isn't?

You're doing everything you can to find her. But if you don't settle down, you're going to give yourself a coronary.

Oscar glared at Rudy, but before he could make a retort, his phone rang. He yanked the receiver from the hook.

This is Oscar Goldman.

He listened to the voice on the other end of the line and swallowed hard. When he responded, his voice was very soft.

When did it happen?

He quietly took in the information, and then gently returned the receiver to its cradle. He felt as if he'd been slugged in the gut. Slowly he sank down into his desk chair.

Oscar? What is it? Who was that?

He was aware that Rudy was speaking to him, but he didn't hear him at all. He sat in his desk chair, stunned. Rudy stood up and went to his friend, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

Oscar.....what's happened? Is it Jamie?

Slowly Oscar nodded, and his eyes filled with tears. Rudy squeezed the shoulder beneath his hand.

Take it easy. Just tell me...

Oscar's voice was barely a whisper, She's gone, Rudy.

What do you mean

She's dead. They found her body, Rudy. She was in her car, a bullet through her heart...

Oscar scarcely got the words out before he broke down sobbing. Rudy swallowed hard, and felt the sting of tears. But he couldn't give in to it, not right now. One of them needed to put grief on hold. There were people they had to call, and Rudy was certain that someone would have to ID the body, and he knew that duty was going to fall to him. The doctor reached behind Oscar's neck and gently began massaging the muscles there.

Relax, Oscar, try and catch your breath.

Oscar couldn't speak, he could barely breathe. Rudy continued rubbing his neck for a few minutes trying to calm him.

Do you want me to give you something?

Oscar shook his head, No. I'll be fine....I just need a second....

I'll get you a drink.

Oscar grabbed Rudy's arm, No, just stay here for a minute.

Rudy frowned, worried, I'm here. It's going to be okay, Oscar.

The doctor took Oscar's hand in his own, holding it tightly.

Goldman pulled in a ragged breath, I can't believe she's gone, Rudy. I feel like there's a hole in my stomach.

Rudy's tone was soft, I know. Me too. The doctor swallowed hard and then spoke again, Which agency is on point?

So they're bringing the body here then.

Oscar couldn't keep the emotion from his voice,

Rudy pat Oscar's knee, I'll make the ID.

No. I'll do it.'re in no shape--

--I said, I'll do it. Rudy looked at Oscar and the man continued, It's the last thing I can do for her, Rudy.

The doctor nodded, I'll go with you. In the meantime, I'll make the calls.

Oscar nodded and turned his chair to face the window. He couldn't bear to let Rudy see him silently sob anymore.


OSI Morgue

Rudy felt shaky. He had placed all the calls to everyone who needed to be contacted. Helen and Jim, Steve, Chris, Callahan and Sarah. And now they had to ID the body. Oscar looked stoic, but Rudy knew that it was for the benefit of Hansen and the NSB; the doctor could see the storm brewing behind the dark eyes. Rudy knew Oscar wouldn't stop until he found the person responsible, and Rudy feared what Oscar would do.

The two of them walked into the outer room of the Morgue and were met by Hansen, his team and the doctor who was designated to perform the autopsy. Rudy had argued the point, but knew in his heart that he would be unable to do it. The very idea of it turned his stomach; he knew he couldn't stay clinical. Not about this. He felt Oscar's arm around his shoulder.

You all right, Rudy?

Yeah, I'm fine.

You look a little pale. Are you sure you want to go through with this?

Rudy nodded. Oscar turned to the other doctor.

We're ready.

The man indicated that they should follow him. They entered a long hallway, and then a small room. The doctor opened another door.

You just wait here, I'll go in and present the body for identification.

Oscar simply nodded, and the doctor went inside. A light in the other room snapped on, and the doctor walked on the opposite side of a cloth-draped table. He looked at Oscar and Rudy, and then pulled back a corner of the sheet. Oscar felt his knees buckle, followed by Rudy's arm around his waist. He had to look away. Rudy cringed but took a good look at the angelic face of Jamie Sommers. The first of his tears slipped down his cheeks.

That's her. That's Jamie.

The doctor inside nodded and covered the body once again. Rudy pulled Oscar toward a chair and gently sat him down. The doctor came back out and Rudy looked at him.

Can we get a glass of water here? I think Oscar needs it.

Of course.

The outer door opened and Hansen walked in.

Everything okay in here?

Rudy glared at the man, No Jack, it's not. And I think you know that. Can you give us a few minutes please?

Well now, Dr. Wells, I really can't, no. I need to secure the body. It is after all, classified.

Oscar snapped to life, standing, IT? She. Jamie Sommers.

Rudy grabbed ahold of Oscar before he could take a swing at Hansen, Oscar, no. He's not worth it. Just relax. Hansen....get the hell out of here.

Hansen waited for a moment, then left. Oscar almost collapsed back into the chair. He leaned his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. The sobs tore at him with no mercy. Rudy could only stand by him and watch. After awhile he rubbed his hand in slow circles on Oscar's upper back, trying to calm him down.

Oscar, settle down now, take it easy.

She's gone, Rudy.....our baby's gone.

I know. Shhhh.....

Oscar leaned into Rudy, who pulled the seated man into his side and held him tightly.

Try and settle down, Oscar. Let it go, pal.....

The doctor returned with the glass of water, but Rudy shook his head, the man turned away. Rudy knelt down and took Oscar's face in his hands.

Come on, let's go. I'm taking you home.

Rudy lifted Oscar off the chair, and supporting him around the waist, led him out of the building and to the parking lot.


Oscar's Apartment

Rudy adjusted the comforter on the bed and pulled a syringe from his black bag.

What's that for? I don't need a sedative, Rudy.

It will help you relax, Oscar, and you need to rest.

No arguments.

Rudy rolled up the sleeve of Oscar's pajamas and gently inserted the needle, plunging the contents into his bloodstream. Goldman's eyelids felt heavy before Rudy was finished rolling down his sleeve and putting away the syringe.

I'll find out who did this, Rudy.

I know you will.

And when I find him--

--Shhh, don't think about that now. Just relax and go to sleep.

Oscar grabbed Rudy's hand, his eyes sadder than Rudy had ever seen them. He couldn't speak, but then, he didn't have to. Rudy gently took Goldman's hand in his and held it. Silently they mourned the loss of the one woman who had held both of their hearts. Rudy knew that for as much as he was hurting, it was in some ways worse for Oscar. Jamie had been like a daughter to both of them, but for Oscar, the emotion was even deeper than that.

He waited until Oscar was asleep, then gently placed the hand he had held under the covers and slipped from the room. He turned off the lights as he moved through the apartment, and then he settled in the living room on the couch. The picture on the end table caught his attention, he picked it up to look at it. It was a picture of Jamie and Oscar, the two of them were laughing at something, the radiance of their smiles leaping out of the frame. Oscar had his arm around Jamie, pulling her close to him. Rudy shook his head as he put the picture back. It was going to be hard on all of them, but the doctor wondered how Oscar was going to cope. His entire life was the OSI, and Jamie had become the center of his world. On some level, Rudy had always known that Oscar loved Jamie like a child, but he was also the tiniest bit in love with her. He wasn't even sure that Goldman had been aware of it.

Rudy prayed that the NSB would find out how, why and who killed Jamie before Oscar did; he knew that if Oscar found the guilty party, he would waste no time dispatching all involved straight to hell, and there would be no stopping him. The doctor turned out the light, lay down on the couch, and placed a pillow beneath his head. He felt exhausted. It was then that it all caught up with him. And in the dark of Oscar's living room, he cried. He cried for Jamie, for Steve, for Helen and Jim, and for himself; but mostly he sobbed for Oscar.

He could replace almost any human part with bionics; he could create miracles. But he couldn't replace Jamie's dead heart, anymore than he could fix Oscar's broken one. In the dark and the silence, frustrated by his inability to bring the dead back to life, Rudy cried himself to sleep.

The End