TITLE: Are You Happy Now?

AUTHOR: Cathie McMath. (email: penrithpanther_03@yahoo.com.au)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the character's from the WWE mentioned in this fic. I wish I did.. but I don't. I also don't own the brilliant song "Are you happy now?" by Michelle Branch.

SUMMARY: Is Matt happy with what he's got? Or what he had? Lita needs to let go of the past, and realise that she's happy with what she has now. A short song fic.

RATING: PG. Nice and clean.

TIMELINE: Whenever. Nothing real specific.

DISTRIBUTION: Just email me and let me know if you'd like to have it.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: No roster split - it makes things easier. I've had this song stuck in my head for ages, and it was just begging for a fic. This is what I came up with in a couple of hours. Enjoy!


[Now, don't just walk away... pretending everything's ok... and you don't care about me... And I know there's just no use... when all your lies become your truths and... I don't care... yeah, yeah, yeah...]

The woman sat alone on her bedroom floor, her legs crossed beneath her. The small cardboard box sat in front of her, dusty and stale. She took in a deep breath as she lightly traced her fingertips along the lid, and pulled it off, opening the box. She tucked her hair behind her ears as she peered into it and felt her heart begin to race.

She told herself that she was ready. That there was nothing to be scared of. She was ready to let go of everything that was in this box. Ready to let go of the memories and the feelings and the hurt... she was ready to let go of the past.

Calming herself down, she reached into the small box and and pulled out a photograph. The memories flooded into her brain like a wave as she analysed the picture, but she pushed them down, taking control. She studied the photo for a moment, her fingers running over the two figures that were shown; hugging each other, pulling each other close. The young woman closed her eyes tightly before grabbing the scissors that lay next to her, and closing them down on the photograph, tearing apart the two figures.

There were no tears as she cut the photo in half, separating the two people in the photo. They still smiled out at her, but she did not falter. She kept cutting until the photograph lay on the floor in front of her in a dozen or more pieces. Her own face was still recognisable on one piece; her long, fiery hair framing her smiling face. On another separate piece, the other figure's face could be seen, smiling as well. His dark brown eyes were piercing and happy, and as she looked at them she almost felt a sense of loss and desperation. Almost.

Lita picked up the piece of the photograph with his face still visible on it, and cut it into even smaller pieces, feeling very pleased with herself when Matt Hardy's features were no longer recognisable and only his eyes could be made out in the pieces of the photo that lay at her feet.

[Could you look me in the eye... and tell me that you're happy now... would you tell it to my face... or have I been erased... Are you happy now?... Are you happy now?...]

Sweeping the pieces aside, Lita reached into the box and pulled out yet another photo. This time with three figures on it. She took more time studying this one, realising that this photo came from the night before she found them together. Were they already sleeping together when this photo was taken? Did he have his hand on her arse while this photo was being taken?

Glaring down at the tall blonde woman that stood in between her and Matt in the photo, Lita picked up the scissors once again. As she cut away at the photo, she realised that she didn't feel any anger or hate, instead a sense of release and closure. And that was what this 'session' was all about. Letting go. Because she knew that if she held onto all of this pain and hurt and grief for any longer she would die.

For months and months after she found Matt in bed with Torrie, Lita had blamed herself. If only she had payed more attention to him, if only she was prettier, if only she had blonde hair, if only she was a better lover... she had blamed herself in every way for Matt cheating on her. She was angry with Matt for sleeping with another woman, she was angry at Torrie for betraying her friendship but most of all she was angry with herself.

This had gone on for months. Months and months of self-blame, and self-hate, and self-pity. Months and months of Lita crying herself to sleep every night. Months and months of emptiness, a hollow feeling inside that she just couldn't shake. Endless nights of despair and sorrow. But then one night, after a long, deep and meaningful talk with her own personal angel, she realised that she was not to blame.

She was not to blame.

[You took all there was to take... and left me with an empty plate...and you don't care about it, yeah... And I... I've given up this game... I'm leaving you with all the blame... cause I don't care... yeah, yeah yeah...]

She moved on. Got over it. Left Matt and Torrie behind and moved on with her life. But not completely. They still had a hold over her. Over part of her heart. Part of her mind. Part of her soul. She still cried sometimes, at night when she was all alone. She still felt her stomach drop when she saw them together, as she walked through the arena by herself. She still re-read the love letters Matt used to write her, as she sat alone in her bedroom. She still cared.

Even though a part of her still cared, she had moved on. Wrestling, travelling, hanging out with her friends... living. Lita knew that neither Matt nor Torrie lay awake thinking of her at night, so she forced herself to do the same. To get on with her life, and ignore the pain and the hurt that she was feeling.

And so her life had continued. And with each day she was growing happier, and happier. With each day she would forget a conversation she had with Matt when they were together, and replace it with one she had with her friends. With each day she would no longer feel pain when revisiting memories, or talking about memories. With each day she grew stronger. There were days when she had amazing breakthroughs, regaining a piece of herself.

Today was one of those days.

[Could you look me in the eye?... And tell me that you're happy now... would you tell it to my face... or have I been erased.... Are you happy now?... Are you happy now?...]

In some, strange twist of events, Matt and Lita had ended up alone together in the hotel lobby. Lita was waiting for a friend to meet her there, and Matt was probably there waiting for Torrie. In the minutes that passed, they awkwardly made conversation. About what was going on in their lives, any news at the moment, and eventually the topic of Torrie came about.

Lita had innocently asked how she was. She wasn't trying to make Matt feel bad, nor was she being fake. She thought that Matt was happy with Torrie in his life now, and she wanted to ask him about that. She definitely was not expecting Matt's reply to her question.

He snapped, telling her that life with Torrie was not how it thought it would be. Things were different. They had changed. It wasn't like how it was in the beginning. In reality, he and Torrie had absolutely nothing in common. He found it hard to establish and keep a conversation with her. They had nothing to talk about, nothing to discuss together. All they had keeping them together, he had told Lita, was their physical attraction to each other. That was all they had.

And that depressed him.

[Do you really have everything you want?... You could never give something you ain't got... you can't run away from yourself...]

He then proceeded in telling Lita that he missed her. That he missed their talks, and he missed the laughs they shared. He even gently recalled a weekend away they had together, telling her that those were the 'good times' he longed for once again. Lita felt a queasiness arise in her stomach, and she felt her palms begin to sweat at Matt's words.

She controlled herself, though. Never saying a word, never buckling at his words. She kept her calm, and she kept her level. She let Matt continue with his ramble, let him spill out how he really felt about Torrie and how he really felt about her. She let him squirm, and deep down she knew she enjoyed it. Did she feel bad about that? Hell no.

After Matt had finished his speech, it was Lita's turn to talk. She told him how hurt she had been, finding him in tangled sheets with Torrie that night. She told him how much it hurt that he had cheated on her - and how it hurt even more that it was with one of her friends. She told him about the nights she fell asleep crying, and the nights she fell asleep hating herself because of what he did to her. She told him about everything she had been through since he had left her. She told him everything.

He was stunned. Silenced. He couldn't find any words to reply to what Lita had just told him. Instead, he merely stared at the redhead, unmoving. He couldn't do much else but just stare at her - in an almost unbelieving manner. He told her that he didn't know she cared about him that much. Didn't know she loved him that much. He apologised, telling her that he never meant to make her feel that way. He told her that he was a fool for leaving her... and that he wanted her back.

[Could you look me in the eye?... And tell me that you're happy now... come on tell it to my face... or have I been erased... are you happy now?... Are you happy now?...]

It had been her turn to be silenced at his words. She wasn't sure what to say, how to react. She had spent months and months dreaming of the moment that Matt turned to her and told her that he wanted her back. For months and months she had been unable to think of nothing else but Matt asking for her back. Telling her that he had made a huge mistake and that they were meant to be together. And now she was getting that moment. She wasn't dreaming - she was wide awake - and it was actually happening.

But now that it was happening, now that she could see the misery and unhappiness painted clearly on Matt's face, she realised just how happy she was without him.

Since she was able to let go, she had been spending alot more time with her friends. Time with one friend in particular. He had been her angel, talking with her and sitting with her when she was in her worst moods. When she was the most depressed she could turn to him and he would makes things better. He could brighten up her day, even when she was at her lowest.

He had always been there for her. And this was just one more time in her life that he had saved her by being there. With his endless support and compassion, he had allowed her to move on and be free from the emptiness that Matt had left her with. He had filled that and allowed her to get on with living her life.

When did she fall in love with him? She couldn't be sure. She didn't even know if it had happened gradually, or if it had happened in an instant. All she knew was that it had happened, and it felt wonderful. Being in someone's arms again - but not just anyone's arms. HIS arms. It felt wonderful. And she was happy again.

[Would you look me in the eye?... Could you look me in the eye?... I've had all that I can take... and I'm about to break... cause I'm happy now... Are you happy now?]

Lita looked back into the box that sat in front of her, picked up the photo pieces that lay around her, and put them back inside. She then carefully placed the lid back on, and stood up, carrying the box out of the bedroom with her.

She entered the lounge room, and immediately felt the warmth from the open fire hit her. The room was dark besides the flickering of the red-orange flame, and Lita could feel the love and contentment in the room. She walked over to the couch, and saw him sleeping there, curled up into a ball.

The redhead placed the box of memories onto the floor, and grabbed a blanket from the nearby armchair. Unfolding it, she placed it on top of the man, and tucked him in, smoothing the blanket over him. She watched him carefully as he slept, the light of the flames dancing over his skin. She bent down, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Then she turned back to the box and held it in her hands once more.

She walked over to the open fire, and stood in front of it for a while. She gazed into the burning flames, then glanced at the box in her hands. She was ready. Ready to let go of it all. She was happy now.

Barely thinking of Matt and Torrie, Lita threw the box into the fire, and it roared as it ate up the contents. The flames flicked higher as they licked at the box, devouring it and all it's contents. Lita watched it burn for a few minutes, and then turned away, back towards the young man sleeping on the couch.

[cause I'm happy now... Are you happy now?]

She pulled the covers away gently, and climbed onto the couch, snuggling in beside him. She pulled the blanket back over them, her eyelids drooping sleepily as she watched the box dissolve into the fire in front of her. She watched until her eyes could no longer stay open, and before she drifted off to sleep, she turned around and looked up at the man beside her.

Jeff Hardy made her happy.

She kissed his lips softly, not wanting to wake him, and then turned back around and slowly fell asleep by the warmth of the roaring open fire.