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Chapter One Hundred Sixty-seven

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Priceless Words on Paper

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Nathan made the rounds of the house, turned off lights, locked doors, and retreated to his room for the night. After preparing for bed, he brought the gift from Colleen to the armchairs in front of the fireplace, sat and turned on the floor lamp. Carefully, he extracted his sister's letter and began to read her words.

'Dearest Brother,

If I could have invented someone to be the best brother I could ever imagine, he would be you.

We have shared so much, both joy and tears, but I thank God for you because we got through our youth together. My memories are filled with our many walks and talks, well my talks, since you are not as talkative! I can hear you sing even as I write this, your clear tenor resounding over the fields as you played while I painted.

You have always been deep, Nathan, like a cool, refreshing, hidden pool, beautiful on the surface, but so delicious to drink! I know, I know, you are a better poet than I am, but I am serious when I say I have always loved your way with words when you sang, spoke, or wrote them.

I admire you for your strength and protective nature. I'll be forever grateful for your rescue that day the boys attacked me in the barn, but am so sorry you suffered injury and now have those scars to remind you of that horrible day. You were so brave though! My guardian, long before you chose that profession.

I am grateful for your moral convictions, your strong sense of justice and clear understanding of right and wrong, yet you have always had a forgiving attitude and compassion for the weak, the hurting, and those less fortunate. Those traits will make you a great Mountie too!

Your willingness to work hard and to help provide for Mom and me from your youth has not gone unnoticed, Brother. Mom and I, and even Dad, have appreciated your efforts for our family. Thank you, Nathan.

Although I regret what Dad has done and the pain he has caused Mom, you, and me, I thank God that this has made you wiser and more of God's man. To me, and all our family, you really are God's gift. I know Mom has said that Dad picked your first name, but I never asked Dad why he chose 'Nathan.' I do believe God had his hand in that though, a promise from God to us all. I think Dad must've felt the importance of your name because he never allowed us to call you Nate in his presence. It may have felt formal to you, but I believe it was more than that.

I am sorry that I am embarrassing you and making this letter 'wordy' as you often label me, my quiet and deep thinking brother! Still, I want to pour out my heart to you as you take this enormous step and begin your training.

When I look back, I think your interest (and preoccupation) with Mounties began when we first met the kind one who arrested Dad and took him to prison that first time. I've seen your eyes watch every Mountie we've seen since, as if you could learn from them just by observation. I guess you began your Mountie training at ten!

There is more I want to say though. I know you are not happy with, nor trusting of, Dylan and I can understand that. Nevertheless, I made a commitment when I married him. Granted he was a different man back then, but I will continue to pray God will bring him back to the man he aspired to be before drink and gambling took hold. I never would have guessed I would marry a man who would gamble like Dad.

Every day I see Allie, I am grateful though. She is my daily joy and delight, in spite of her father's actions or attitudes. I hope she never learns his love for her is so flawed due to his insecurities. They make it look as though he doesn't want her. Well, his actions do too. Still, because of Allie, there is a tiny bit of love I still have for the man who gave her to me.

I hope someday that you will find real, true love, Nathan. I know that is the furthest thing from your mind and the Mounties have their silly rules, but I believe you are destined for marriage and fatherhood. If I could chose anyone to raise and be a father to my Allie, it wouldn't be Dylan, it would be you, Nathan. As your big sister, I know how fiercely, yet tenderly, you have loved Mom, and me, and Allie so I know you have the capacity for great love in your big heart.

I don't know why I feel compelled to tell you all of this, except that tomorrow is a momentous day and with you leaving for Regina and then for places unknown, you need to know I miss you already and I am already proud of you. I respect the man you have become and look forward to seeing the man you will become as you mature.

You will always be my big, little brother and I will always and forever love you.

Yours always,
Colleen

P.S.
I have a sudden inspiration for a painting which I will work on as soon as you depart. It's like a dream, yet a very real one of your life, and I can clearly see the image in my mind. You are in it, Nathan! See? I am teasing you to return home for a visit as soon as you can! In the meantime, write, dear Brother. Write your poetic words, your deep thoughts, and write to me, your loving sister. I know, cue the tears… you know me well!'

Nathan held the letter close to his heart as he wept. He whispered wishes and prayers, missing Colleen, grateful for her love and this precious letter, wishing she was here, yet aware he wouldn't have had Allie with him if Colleen was still alive. Once he wiped his eyes and the blurriness dissipated, Nathan reread the letter and pondered its contents. Finally he considered her post script, curious about what picture Colleen had felt was a dream of his future.

Setting the letter aside, Nathan slowly untied the string and let the soft fabric fall over his knees. He read an inscription on the backside of the frame, 'To Nathan and his future family with much love, Colleen.' Turning the painting to see the image, Nathan gasped.

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The following evening Nathan invited his fiancée to join him, "Elizabeth? I have something to show you back in the bedroom. Allie, are you okay to watch Jack for a while?"

"Sure, Dad." Turning towards Jack, Allie tickled his tummy causing a fit of giggles, "Do you want to read or sculpt or sing at the piano or what?"

"Oh! Let's sing. Allie! Can we sing 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?' That's my favorite." Jack ran to the piano, "Oh, and my other favorite is 'Silent Night' and 'Away in a Manger!' Do you know 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat?' My other favorite is 'Fair Jacket!' You know that one, right?"

"Hold on, Jack! You have a lot of favorites, but I don't know 'Fair Jacket.' Are you sure that's the right title?"

Nodding his head vigorously Jack assured Allie that he was correct, "It's 'Fair Jacket, Fair Jacket. Bells are ringing, Ding, ding, dong.' Don't you know it? It's fun to sing."

"Oh! You mean 'Frere Jacques?"

Excitedly Jack responded, "Yes! That's it! Let's sing that too!"

Helping Jack to sit on the piano bench beside her, Allie began to pick out the melodies on the keyboard and together they sang nursery rhymes, Christmas carols, and lullabies while their parents talked privately.

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Softly closing the door behind them, Nathan motioned Elizabeth to the armchairs and began to explain, "Mom told me that she found a package for me when they moved. Evidently she had forgotten about it when she settled into their little house in Calgary and discovered it when they packed to move here. I read this last night and it is from Colleen to me. I would like for you to read her letter, although it is so effusive it is somewhat embarrassing. Yet, of all people, you will understand and I want you to know."

Nathan unfolded Colleen's letter that he had kept in the drawer of the small round table between their two chairs, handing it to Elizabeth. He watched her closely, observing a myriad of emotions as she processed these insights.

Coming to the end, Elizabeth wiped a few tears from her eyes, then paused and glanced at Nathan before beginning to read from the initial greeting again.

"Oh Nathan… She loved you so much and she knew you so well. Your loss is profound. I'm so, so sorry," Elizabeth's heart was moved to read Nathan's sister's loving account of her appreciation. "This is a missive to treasure, Honey. It's so beautiful."

"I know," he shared, is voice hoarse and low. "I'm especially grateful she had faith in me to raise Allie, even though she didn't know what the future held. It is reassuring that she trusted me with that which was most precious to her."

"Her insights mirror many of mine, Nathan. You are all the things she described and more." Elizabeth glanced back at the letter asking, "Do you know the painting to which she referred? I mean what makes it your dream to come true?"

Nathan shifted and, lifting the canvas that leaned against his chair, he stood and placed it in Elizabeth's hands.

"Ohhh…" Elizabeth caught her breath, even as Nathan had done when he first opened the package.

Nathan stood behind Elizabeth so that he could study the image again, resting his hand on her shoulder just as in the painting.

The painting's viewpoint was looking over Nathan's shoulder from the rear. A portion of his shoulder, neck, white shirt-collar, and dark hair were visible, along with part of his right hand resting on the white-collared shoulder of the woman before him. Wisps of her chestnut curls were untamed, falling forward as her head was bent over a beautiful blue-eyed daughter in her arms. Wrapped in a white blanket edged in pink the child was the central focus of the painting and Colleen had carefully rendered a soft image of the baby's dark, curly hair, with long, dark lashes and peachy-pink cheeks. In a doorway across from the parents was a hazy outline of a young woman standing with her arms over the shoulders of a little boy, his hands holding hers. The outer edges of the piece were softly blurred giving the scene a dreamlike quality, yet also accentuating the realistic portrayal of the baby.

"Nathan…" Elizabeth whispered, "Is this us?"

Partially sitting on the wide, wooden arm of the chair, Nathan cleared his throat and began to share a hazy dream he had dreamt the night before he and Allie had departed Hope Valley months ago. "I awoke and kept my eyes closed, trying to hold the image in my mind, wanting to go back into the scene, but I couldn't. When I saw this painting this afternoon… Lisbeth, it's uncanny, but it's almost a portrait of what I dreamt."

"Oh..." Elizabeth gazed at Nathan briefly before once again admiring the image before her. "Even apart from this beautiful subject matter. this is such an unusual and difficult perspective to achieve. Colleen was very talented."

"I thought of that too, and she was gifted, but to me this almost seems as if God guided her to paint this all those years ago. The dream gave me a measure of hope when I had lost all hope, leaving you behind, and now it all seems like a promise of what is to come."

Gently gliding her finger over the baby's cheek, Elizabeth spoke, barely above a whisper, "Annika Colleen Grant, and we can call her Annie or Collie..."

Surprised, Nathan whispered, "Annika? You've already named our firstborn daughter?"

"Yes. I've always loved the name and it means Gracious and Merciful. Isn't that appropriate? But I would want to call her a version of Colleen's name, so I like Collie." Elizabeth looked up to watch Nathan, her eyes sparkling and expression earnest, "What do you think? Annika Colleen?"

Gulping to contain his emotions, Nathan responded slowly, "Let me live with it for a while, okay? I do like the name, I am just not prepared to choose at this moment. Let's get married and have you become pregnant before we…"

"Honey," Elizabeth interrupted, "remember that I conceived Jack on my honeymoon? It could happen that fast again you know."

"I don't think I seriously considered that…" Nathan's voice trailed to silence as the realization formed in his mind. 'I could become a father once again within a year!'

Tapping his arm, Elizabeth asked, "Do you have a slip of paper? I need to write down the name and tuck it into the back of the frame."

Nathan stood and approached his desk where, collecting paper and pen, he wrote the name, 'Annika Colleen,' and folded the paper before handing it to Elizabeth.

Folding it one more time, Elizabeth slipped the paper into the corner of the canvas. Looking up at Nathan again, she asked, "And can we hang this here in our bedroom?"

"Yes, you may. Just tell me where you want it hung."

Pointing to the wall above Nathan's desk, Elizabeth responded, "Let's hang it there for now and when the nursery becomes a real nursery, we can move it in there." Reluctantly, Elizabeth handed the painting to Nathan.

"Thank you, my Love." Wistfully she added, "I hope this sweet little one is the first of many."

After a gentle kiss, Nathan and Elizabeth exited the bedroom, stopping in the hallway surprised to hear Allie's sweet voice singing a lullaby to Jack,

"Sleep my child and peace attend thee, All through the night.
Guardian angels God will send thee, All through the night.
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping, Hill and dale in slumber sleeping,
I my loved ones' watch am keeping, All through the night…" (*98)

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On Saturday morning, Nathan found himself back at the Regina train station, this time awaiting the arrival of Gabriel and Lillian Kinslow. As he sat on a bench observing the travelers, he realized he would have another important train to meet in just a few more days. These busy weeks were now being counted in days and the calendar at home showed there were events every one of those days between now and the wedding. Lost in his thoughts, Nathan was surprised to hear his name spoken in a familiar voice.

"Nathan! Woohoo there, Brother! Nathan!" The call dissolved into laughter as Gabriel approached his distracted friend. To Lillian, Gabriel commented, "He is absolutely smitten, distracted, and dazed!"

"Oh! Gabe! Lillian! Hello!" Standing quickly, Nathan saluted then hugged his dear friend and his new wife. Blushing slightly Nathan admitted, "I must have missed the announcement of your train's arrival! How are you both?"

"We are glad to be here and to see you! I was expecting a more animated welcome though. You must have a lot on your mind!" Gabe nudged Nathan's shoulder, chuckling. "Did you bring your vehicle?"

"I do have a lot on my mind and currently must commit important things to paper in order to remember them! Sorry…" Nathan motioned at the suitcases beside the Kinslows, questioning, "Is this all the luggage or do we need to wait for more?"

"This is all of it. Lead the way!" Gabe grinned as Nathan lifted one of the larger cases with his good arm and motioned towards where he had parked the car.

"Oh man! Nathan! This is yours?" Gabe set his suitcase down and slid his hand over the shiny vehicle. "I am impressed!"

"I love the dark blue, Nathan." Lillian nodded approvingly. "Sweetheart, can we look for this color when we finally get an automobile?"

"I never thought I would own a car, but now that I have one, I cannot imagine life without it. It was a struggle to depend on others for transportation while I was laid up with my shoulder injury but I'm grateful that I am almost fully recovered."

"Oh, that's right. I'm sorry I didn't ask right away. So you are no longer in pain?" Gabe questioned as he lifted the suitcases into the vehicle. "I hope you didn't hurt yourself carrying our bag. They are heavy!"

"I'm fine unless I overdo, then I can still feel a twinge or a dull ache. I've had incredible care from Wes, my officemate and a doctor, so he has been monitoring me closely." Nathan pulled into traffic as he continued, "I'm taking you to the house, but thought I would drive you past Depot on the way, for old times' sake. Plus, you've never seen the Academy, right Lillian?"

"No, I've only heard about it. I've seen many cities, but Regina is all new to me! It is a bustling place for its location isn't it?"

"It is, but Allie and I have come to love it and love our circle of friends as well. Plus, now that Elizabeth and Jack are here, oh and Bill Avery as well, we feel this is home. Plus, did you know the Coulters are relocating here too?" Nathan pointed out a few landmarks along the way as he continued to inform the Kinslows of recent happenings. "My folks arrived on Thursday and we expect Peter this afternoon. The rest of the guests from Hope Valley are due this coming Thursday morning."

"We only saw a few Hope Valley people we know, like the Yosts, but we met the new pastor and his wife at the Café, and the Hickam's at the Hotel. Wow, has that place changed! Nicely renovated and no longer noisy overnight! We actually enjoyed a good night's sleep!"

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"Uncle Gabe! Miss Lillian!" Allie exited the kitchen, immediately hugging the Kinslows. "Oops, you are not a 'Miss' anymore. Should I call you Aunt Lillian?"

"I would love that, Allie! It is great to see you after so many years. You are now quite a young lady!" Lillian stroked Allie's long hair, "With all the activities, I do hope we can spend a few moments together!"

"Hello, Gabe and Lillian! Welcome to Regina! Let me show you the guest room so you can get comfortable, then we'll put on a pot of tea." Elizabeth explained, "We plan on an early lunch of soup and sandwiches, then a more substantial supper tonight. I hope that is alright?"

"Anything is fine with us." Gabe replied, "Please don't let us interfere with your schedule. We are happy to help, cook, clean, iron, chop wood, whatever you need!"

"Elizabeth! This place is enormous. This is the kind of house that we could fill as an orphanage!" Lillian glanced around appreciatively. "When you called us during our wedding reception it sounded as though you had a house full?"

Laughing, Elizabeth pointed out the rooms in the bedroom wing, "I'll let the children show you their rooms, but, yes! We have often had a full home with family and friends and now, after some renovations, we can accommodate more overnight guests!"

"Nathan has always been hospitable, but how has he been with all the crowds of new people? He has been quite quiet and reserved in the past," Gabe commented.

"Nathan has been wonderful and is a great host," blushing, she looked at Lillian as she spoke, "and he is showing signs that he will be a great husband too!"

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"Please excuse Nathan and Allie," Returning to the living room, Elizabeth explained as she was the only one privy to Sunday's secret event. "They have a baking project today for after church tomorrow. They'll join us as soon as the cake is in the oven."

Elizabeth poured the cups of tea, then handed them to Carol, Ruth, and Archie who had joined them to get to know the Kinslows. Circulating a plate of cookies, Elizabeth continued, "These should stave off hunger pangs until lunch. "Tell us about your wedding, and how is your sister. Lillian, and how is everyone in Brookfield?"

As the group conversed in the living room, Gabe eventually excused himself and took his cup of tea into the kitchen to join Nathan and Allie. "What are you baking? Or are you making a carrot salad or something?"

"We're baking a cranberry carrot cake, but you cannot tell Uncle Bill," admonished Allie. "It is a surprise until after Sunday dinner."

Gabe saluted to Allie while clicking his heels together. "Yes, Miss! I'll be quiet! What's the occasion?"

"Sorry, Gabe, we are unable to divulge more at this time except to say you will get a piece tomorrow!" Nathan chuckled knowing his friend's curiosity was peeked. "Have a seat and tell us all the latest news from Brookfield."

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(*98) 'All Through the Night,' Verse one. Lyrics attributed to John Ceiriog Hughes, Sung to a Welsh song, 'Ar Hyd y Nos' by Edward Jones, 1784, Public Domain.

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