This is a New Moon one-shot. It's a very short, almost drabble like, remaining of the breakup scene. I tried to stay as Canon as possible with our beloved Edward and Bella.
Sorry in advance for any errors.
The gentleness in his voice almost broke me. Edward reached out to cup my cheek, but I took a step back. He looked hurt and confused all at once.
"I'm fine," I lied. I looked around our meadow and felt a kinship with the now wilting flowers. Fall has arrived and it's replaced the sun with gray clouds. My thoughts ventured to a happier time, when I could watch the buttery sunshine reflect rainbows off of Edward's skin. Sometimes the colors would melt onto mine, and I'd pretend I was as beautiful as him. My eyes roamed back to him, but he was no longer a colorful enigma. He was ghostly pale and a proven hazard.
"You've barely said a word today. I don't believe you." He was growing impatient. I knew it was time.
"Edward." I whispered. "The other night-"
"I know Bella." He interrupted me. He appeared calm, but sounded slightly frustrated. "It wasn't your fault, though. It was a horrible...mistake. Please don't blame yourself. I know how you are."
There was a surprising flare of anger that shot through me. My next words came out sharper than I intended. "Yes, Edward. I know it wasn't my fault! All I did was open a present, when i specifically said I didn't want any, at a party I specifically said I didn't want!" I threw my hands up. This conversation wasn't going how I imagined it.
"I love Jasper, but he tried to kill me over a papercut. The you pushed me into a ton of glass. What I'm trying to say is...maybe I need some space." I rubbed at my arm awkwardly, looking anywhere but at him.
I held my breath the entire time he stayed silent. I began to feel dizzy. "Bella," he breathed out. He hadn't moved at all. I heard a shaky intake of breath. His golden eyes met mine. "I understand," he whispered again. "Let me take you home."
It was dark by time we got to the Volvo. I couldn't bring myself to accept his offer to climb onto his back, so we walked the whole way. The drive to my house was extremely unpleasant. Edward had his hands around the steering wheel as tightly a boa around its prey. Whenever I'd try to apologize he'd ignore me. When I asked if we could be school friends, he laughed bitterly.
I guess I deserved that.
He stopped the car along the treeline, out of view from the house. We sat in even more silence. His whole demeanor was making me uncomfortable. I was about to leave when he let out a dry sob.
"Please, Bella! Don't do this to me. Don't leave me!" His breathing was erratic. Edward wrapped my left hand in both of his, then brought it to his mouth and kissed it. I just stared at him. Afraid to move.
"I love you. You mean everything to me! If it'd make you feel more safe I'll leave my family for you. Just please, Bella, please. Dont."
His eyes were wide as they searched mine. I saw the tears he was unable to shed, so I cried for the both of us. With my hand still in both of his, he rested his forbade against it. The he kissed my hand one last time before dropping it.
"Please do cry." Edward wiped away the single tear that fell down my cheek. "I'll give you space if thats what you really want. I've taken away too much of your peace as it is." He looked down at his lap and quietly asked, "Will you answer me one question, though? Do you honestly need time or is this actually goodbye?"
"I don't know."
I ran out of the car and to the house, too much of a coward to look back. Somehow, I held myself together long enough to tell Charlie goodnight. Once I was in the privacy of my own room Iet myself truly cry. Alone I. the darkness, with not even the gleam of moonlight.
I had so much to think about. Edward asked me a good question. Is this goodbye? Do I keep my window open or closed? Does it matter either way, now? I knew it wasn't fair to Edward to leave him guessing, but even I don't know.
For now, I just need some sleep.