4:58 PM.

The last two minutes would drag on for hours, as they always did. I stared at the little clock on the bottom right of the computer screen for what felt like an eternity, and as soon as they read "5:00 PM", I turned off the monitor and made a beeline out of that darned cubicle.

"Have a good one, Gary!" called out Eugene, the insufferable co-worker I had the misfortune of sitting next to. I ignored him - this was Eugene, after all - and went on my way.

The ride home was uneventful, just like the rest of the day had been. The whole year, really. I got home and cooked some chicken while "Hit Me Baby One More Time" looped on the old iPod.

My peaceful dinner was jarringly interrupted when the telephone rang. I got up and picked it up.


"Hey, Gary! It's Karen. How are you today?"

Great. Karen. As if this day couldn't get any worse...

"I'm fine. What do you want, Karen?"

"Have you been watching what's going on? What do you think about it all?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I mean about the big stuff the president's been doing. You live in D.C., shouldn't you know about it?"

"No, I haven't been watching the news."

"Well, you should look into what President Hilary's been up to. It's quite delightful! She's been getting rid of some bad people. I have to go now, but it's been nice talking to you."

"That's good, I suppose." Finally, an end to this conversation. "Nice talking to you, too," I added dishonestly before hanging up.

I returned to my chicken and began to masticate while thinking of Lindsay Lohan.