*This story contains elements of eating disorders, specifically anorexia. Do not read if triggered*
Everything happens for a reason.
At least, that's what most people believe in order to keep some sort of sanity for themselves when things don't go their way. Of course, Sophie Swan doesn't necessarily believe in this. She believes that people choose their own destinies and, in return, choose their own consequences. She didn't always have this mindset - in fact, before she was diagnosed with her eating disorder, she was quite the optimist. Especially compared to Bella, her younger sister. Sophie was always hopeful about what her future held for her when she was younger. She had her mind set on the college she wanted to attend, the places she wanted to visit and how many children she was going to have one day.
Then she skipped her first meal.
After that, it was a downwards spiral. Sophie obsessed with counting her calories and measuring out portions of food, so she didn't go over her limit. When she wasn't busy or when there were no prying eyes - not that there ever was since her father was never home - she was trying to burn as many calories as she possibly could.
Within months, her once healthy body had started to decay.
It wasn't long until she was a pile of bones.
Sophie's dull blue eyes lingered on the doorknob. The room she was in was a sullen gray, almost as dark and gloomy as her current mood was. She should've been more happy - she had just been released from another inpatient stay, after all.
However, despite her newfound freedom, Sophie found that she wasn't happy at all.
Being discharged meant that she would go home to her father and younger sister. It meant she would have to see their disappointed faces when she told them she had been kicked out of yet another facility. She'd have to tell them that she hadn't gained a pound back since she'd been gone.
That was the worst part about having an eating disorder, Sophie decided, disappointing her family.
As she awaited her nurse's return, she allowed her thin fingers to trail up her arm. The blue hospital gown she wore hung off of her body, not doing much to hide how skinny she was. Sophie's eyes moved to her arm as well, watching as she attempted to wrap her fingers around the top of her arm. She noticed that her fingers were still only inches apart - that hadn't changed since she was admitted. Sophie huffed in frustration, giving her arm one last squeeze before she let her hand fall to her side again.
A knock on the door startled her, causing her to sit up straighter. She greeted the man who walked in, the same man who had just kicked her out of his facility. The doctor offered an apologetic smile as he handed her her clothes. "I am sorry about this, Sophie. Truly. I wish there was more I could do, but if you're not going to help yourself, then..."
"I understand." Her voice was small, weak. "Thanks for trying, doc."
"I wish you this best, Sophie." He told her, his voice genuine as he helped her off the hospital table.
With a final smile, the doctor walked out of the room, leaving Sophie alone once again. She sighed once more as she looked at the clothes in her hand. She set them on the bed, slipping off the gown before she grabbed the sweatpants. She rolled them up at the waist two times before she grabbed the baby blue sweatshirt she often wore. The sleeves on the sweatshirt hung over her bony hands, hiding them from everyone's view.
Her dull brown hair was tied into a ponytail, the hair tie pulled around tightly to hold the thin hair in place. Her blue eyes - the only part of her tying her to her mom, Renee - avoided the mirror as she slipped on her thick socks.
With a final look around the room, Sophie slipped on her shoes and walked out of the door. She knew the walk to her room like the back of her hand now. A part of her was sad to be leaving the facility, knowing she was breaking yet another promise to her family. Sophie hadn't seen her sister since July, which was just over a month ago. She would have started her senior year of high school by now. Bella had moved to Forks with her and her dad in January of the same year. While it was an adjustment to have her little sister around, she appreciated the extra company.
While she had it anyway.
Bella soon met her current boyfriend, Edward Cullen, and she quickly devoted all of her extra time to him. Sophie had heard of the Cullen family before - Carlisle was one of the doctors who was first assigned to her case. They were a nice enough family, but Sophie thought there was something strange about them.
"You're out of here, huh?" Sophie's roommate, a brunette girl named Jennifer, had walked into the room just as she grabbed her bag.
Sophie nodded, giving her friend a smile. "I'm not surprised. Disappointed, but I lasted longer than the last time."
Jen laughed softly, before she pulled her friend into a hug. "I'll miss you, Soph. Good luck."
"Thank you, Jen." Sophie said. "Good luck."
Sophie couldn't help the feeling of despair she felt when she saw the familiar cop cruiser outside. Her dad leant against it, obviously waiting for her with his black sunglasses covering his eyes. She sighed heavily, pulling her shoulders back as she approached him.
"Hi dad." Sophie greeted him softly, noting the way his lips fell when he saw her. He was disappointed in her, that much was obvious, but he didn't comment on it.
"Hi Soph." His arms wrapped around her almost too tightly, but Sophie didn't say a word. She enjoyed the hug from her father while it lasted. "Let's go home, okay?"
Sophie nodded her head in agreement, watching as her father took her bags and stuffed them in the back seat. She got in the passenger side, buckling her seatbelt as Charlie got in beside her.
The car ride was tense. Sophie could tell that Charlie wanted to say something, but he didn't utter a word. While Sophie was generally outspoken like Renee, she didn't like confronting people when she didn't have to. That was something her and her father had in common - neither of them liked confrontation.
Charlie cleared his throat. "Bella's excited to have you home. She wanted to come with me, but she's in school."
Sophie herself had graduated from high school 2 years ago. It was during her first attempt at recovery and she had attempted to take classes at the University of Washington. However, the struggles of her anorexia were too much to deal with on top of studying for her major in biology.
She ended up dropping out halfway through her freshman year.
"Ah." Sophie hummed, taking a glance at the clock. It was nearly 3:30, which meant Bella would be home by the time they got there. "I've been excited to see her too. Her birthday is coming up soon."
Charlie hummed back to her. The two fell back into their silence, not knowing how to address the matter at hand. Sophie knew that her father loved her, but she wasn't sure how much more he could take of her disorder. He had been dealing with it since she was seventeen, and there seemed to be no end in sight. She hated putting him through this over and over again, but she didn't know how to stop.
Bella was outside of the house when Charlie pulled into the driveway. Sophie smiled when she saw her sister, getting out of the car immediately after it was in park. Bella's light brown eyes took in her appearance, though she hid her emotions better than their father did as she wrapped her sister in her arms.
Sophie held her tightly. "Good to see you, Bells."
"You too." Bella released her bone-thin sister, eager to get her inside and catch her up with everything that had been going on. Her eyes were filled with dismay though as she turned to the door. "Come on."
The smell of cooking food hit Sophie like a wave the moment they walked in the door. She noticed Bella and Charlie studying her and plastered a smile on her face. "Smells great. What're you cooking?"
"I started cooking when I got home. I figured it'd be nice to eat as a family for once." Bella explained, disappearing through the door to the kitchen. "It's chicken and broccoli."
"Right." Sophie muttered to herself, looking at the stove to see what her sister was making. Her mouth began to water at the sight of the chicken in the skillet. Bella knew that Sophie liked chicken - she ate it more than any other dinner meal that Bella or Charlie made, mainly because it was healthier and lower in calories. Dinner was served quickly and Sophie was soon cutting the chicken on her plate into smaller pieces. She hadn't wanted any of the potatoes that Bella had made but she did grab some broccoli and began to cut those up as well.
Charlie and Bella watched her in silence, choosing not to say a word. Sophie was eating, at least a little bit and that was better than nothing. As Sophie placed another place of chicken on her fork, she met eyes with Bella. "How have you been?"
Bella smiled. "I've been really good."
"I'm assuming that has a lot to do with Edward." Sophie teased her, laughing at the red tint that covered her cheeks.
Charlie shifted in his chair, growing uncomfortable at the talk of his daughter's love life. Bella laughed lightly. "I guess."
Sophie put her fork down a few moments later. A little less than half of her chicken was still on her plate when she was done. Bella and Charlie exchanged a look when Sophie left the table - before this inpatient stay, Sophie wouldn't have touched half of it. That gave them a slight bit of hope that she was still trying.
Meanwhile, Sophie had disappeared up to her room. She placed her bags next to her bed before she crashed onto the blankets. She let out a sigh as her hand found her arm again. Her thoughts drifted to her family, wishing that she had kept her promise to them during her inpatient stay. It would make everything so much easier if she just recovered.
They wouldn't say anything to her, but she knew that they were disappointed with her attempt. Sophie let her arm go, moving her eyes up to the ceiling. In that moment, she decided that she wasn't going to disappoint them anymore.
She hated that her promise was so hard to keep.