Welcome to read my first Twilight fanfic! I have started writing this in hopes that my writing skills improve even a little bit. Also, my native language is not English so forgive me if there are mistakes.

This story focuses mainly on Edward's struggles in his new family so if you came here to read a romance of Edward and Bella this might not be the right fic for you. There will still be some romance later in the chapters.

Warning's; There will be mature scenes and topics like physical and sexual abuse. Also lemons. I really don't recommend for anyone under the age of 18 to read.

Enjoy!

_

"What?" My voice was barely above a whisper as I lifted my gaze from the knackered floorboards. I had not said a word during the time my social worker Aro had been talking to me. His eyebrows rose slightly as I looked at him.

"My father?" I repeated his words.

"Yes. With the letter that we found attached to your mother's will, we were able—"

"A letter?"

He gave me stern look. "Were you not listening at all?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sorry."

"As I was telling, she left a letter where she shared the information about your father and luckily we were able to find him. His name is Carlisle Cullen and he lives in Forks," Aro explained with a patient tone. He was slightly leaning forward, fingers intertwined on his knee.

I had met him only yesterday when he stormed through our front door. Our home was filled with cops and paramedics, trying to get a sense of what happened. People were asking me questions but I refused to say a word. The only thing I was able to do was stare at my mother's open but unmoving eyes as the paramedics declared her dead and carried her away. They tried to get me to come with them but it was pointless. Hugging my knees and burying my face in them I tried to shrink away. Hoping it was all a bad dream. They touched my shoulders to get my attention but I screamed for them to stop. Finally, I was left alone but not for long. I sensed someone had kneeled in front of me and lifted my face to see. This man with long, black hair quietly spoke to me. I didn't hear his words but after he motioned for me to get up and walk out of the house, I knew I had to do it eventually. I would rather do it on my own will than be forced out by the cops or paramedics.

Slowly, we walked out and I hoped it was the last time I ever had to think about the memories of that house. I couldn't have been more wrong. The memories were the only thing my mind was capable of wallowing over and over again. Even now as we sat in Aro's office that he had clearly decorated in the hopes that every broken teenager on this couch would feel comfortable. The room was colored in warm brown colors and shelves along the walls were filled with worn out books. The only window showed a setting sun behind a few pine trees. Next to the window stood a dimly lighted lamp. Despite, all of this I did not feel comfortable.

"Edward," Aro's voice snapped me from my thoughts. "Did you hear what I just said?"

I nodded, even though I had not heard him.

"Good. He will be here with his wife shortly." Aro stood up and I followed him, jumping up from the couch. I had to suppress the hiss I almost made as my body screamed in protest of the fast movement. When the paramedics had tried to convince me to let them do a full body examination, I had downright refused. After some yelling and cursing on my part, they had finally given up. And now, no one was aware of the numerous scars and bruises and one still not healed cut, covering my skin. And I planned to keep it that way.

"He's coming here?" I raised my voice. "Why the hell would he come here?"

"Edward, he's coming to get you. You will be moving to his house. We talked with Mr Cullen and he has agreed to welcome you to his family."

"Fuck, no!"

Aro gave me another stern look.

"Did he know about me?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer.

Aro shook his head. "He didn't know."

"What if I don't want to go with him?" I didn't need a new father and he certainly wouldn't need me. A damaged and broken son who would only bring him trouble. If he even was a little excited about meeting me and was looking forward to having me in his home, he would soon change his mind.

Above all, he was nothing more than a stranger to me and I had learned to avoid strangers a long time ago.

Aro looked dumbfounded. "Why would you not want to go with him?"

"Because I don't fucking know him!" Looking around, I spotted a cup of tea on a wooden table next to the couch. Before I even realized, what I was doing, the cup's shattered pieces were lying on the floor.

"Edward!"

Ignoring him, I walked over to the window, leaning my hands on the ledge.

"Edward," he said my name more gently this time. "You know I only have your best interest in mind. But this is the best solution right now. You're still underage so you can't live on your own and the other option is that you go to an orphanage. There would also be people you don't know so it's not better."

I didn't bother to answer.

"Hey," his voice came from closer which made me tense up. But before I had time to turn around, his heavy hand landed on my shoulder.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I jumped away from him. Why it was so difficult for these people to understand that I didn't want their touch.

"I'm sorry," he apologized quickly.

I crossed my arms and looked outside again. The last rays of the sun made the pine trees look golden.

"Look, could you try living with Mr Cullen and his family for five weeks? Then we can reconsider."

I rubbed my palms over my eyes. Five weeks was not so much, right?

"Fine. Five weeks."

Sneaking a glance at Aro, I saw him taking a deep breath and smiling. The relief was evident in him.

"Great. Now, he is already on his way here and probably he'll be here in a half an hour. It's only a few hour drive from Forks to Seattle. You can wait in this room or—"

"I need a smoke," I interrupted and started towards the door but he stepped in front of me.

"Here." He handed me a brush and a dustpan, nodding at the broken teacup.

With a sigh, I squatted down and started cleaning.

After I had finally dumped the pieces into a trash can and I had stood outside, cigarette between my lips, I was back in Aro's office. My fingers fidgeted around the strings of my hoodie, wrapping them around my index finger, over and over again. The clock above the door showed time was half-past eight. I couldn't understand why we were supposed to do this 'important and exciting' meeting, as Aro had put it, this late in the evening. Why couldn't we just wait till tomorrow? If I was to go with them we had a long drive to Forks, meaning we wouldn't be there in any reasonable hour.

All I could do now was wait for them to show up. Aro had instructed me to sit here while he greeted them first and then he would bring them inside. I supposed he wanted to give them a heads-up of my troubled behavior. Aro had witnessed me cursing and yelling and even throwing things. I was only bringing problems to everyone around me so it was time for Aro to realize it. He had tried to act gentle with me like he knew what my life was like. In reality, he had no idea.

Standing up, I tried to take deep breaths to calm my raising heart. I didn't understand why I was nervous. Meeting my father — it was weird to use the word 'father' in my thoughts — was no big deal. I had to only survive five weeks and then I would be rid of him. Unless they decided to kick me out before that. Or even better, maybe I should just run away to live on my own. I was independent enough that I could take care of myself. I didn't need anyone to whole my hand.

A knock on the door startled me. Aro opened it and peaked his head inside.

"Are you ready, Edward?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded.

He stepped inside and behind him came a nervous-looking man with a gently smiling woman. As soon as they had stepped inside, I couldn't stop staring at the man. My father. I hadn't imagined what he would look like which is why it was a bit of a shock to realize we looked a lot like. I hadn't even considered that we would share the same features. We had the same jawline, eyes and nose. The only thing I had gotten from my mom's genes was my light, bronze-coloured hair. This man, in front of me, had blond colored hair. Earlier, Aro had told me they would carry out a DNA paternity test if it was needed. Now, it seemed ridiculous because everyone could see the resemblance between us.

"Edward, this is Carlisle and his wife Esme. Carlisle and Esme, this is Edward," Aro filled the silence with the introductions.

My eyes moved to Esme. She was still smiling at me like we already knew each other. I hadn't expected her to look so warm and friendly. She had brown hair and kindly-looking eyes.

I didn't know what to say so I remained staring at them and judging by their expression they were also at a loss for words.

"Please, sit down." Aro motioned towards the couch and two armchairs around the small table. This time we weren't served tea, I wonder why.

Slowly, I sat on one of the armchairs. Not even a chance that I would be sitting next to any of these people. Carlisle and Esme chose the couch as Aro sat on the other armchair.

"It's wonderful to meet you, Edward," Carlisle said. He had not taken his eyes off me this whole time. Esme nodded at his words and kept smiling at me.

Was I supposed to respond? There was nothing wonderful in this situation for me. I glanced at Aro who nodded, urging me to say something.

"Same," I forced the words out of me, trying to be polite and it worked because their smiles got wider.

"Now, we had a little disagreement with Edward earlier." I think 'little' was the wrong word for it. "And we decided that we try this living arrangement for five weeks and then reconsider the whole situation. If it's not working we can come up with something else."

Now, for the first time, I saw concern flash in Carlisle's eyes. His smile faltered a little as his eyes snapped to Aro.

"Why? What's there to reconsider?" He asked.

"Well, if your home is not the best option for Edward—"

"So you think he would be better in an orphanage?" Carlisle's tone was calm but his jaw was clenched.

He had no idea how fucked up I was. I would only bring my problems and unnecessary headaches for him and his family.

"No, I don't think that's any better but Edward expressed to me that he isn't thrilled about living with you."

Now, all eyes turned to me. "You don't know us yet, so how can you say that you don't want to live with us?" Carlisle questioned, eyebrows drawn together.

"Exactly, I don't fucking know you." I tried to keep myself calm.

"Language," Aro scolded.

I crossed my arms, ignoring him again.

"Look, all of us understand you're having a hard time dealing with the loss of your mother and the sudden appearance of your father," Aro said.

I realised they didn't know me and my mother weren't the only ones living in that house. But there was no way I was telling them about him. The one who got me all fucked up. And they thought I had loved my mother and was now morning her. Fucking bullshit.

"But getting angry and yelling at us won't help."

Great, now Aro was even lecturing me.

"Edward?" Esme said to get my attention. She had mostly been quiet during this conversation but she had radiated warmth and kindness toward me. She shouldn't waste her energy on me. "We'll be with you at the memorial and support—"

"Yeah, fuck that!" I interrupted her but regretted it as a hurt flashed in her eyes. "I am not going to my mother's memorial or funeral." I tried to explain quietly.

Images of my mother's still body on the couch came to my mind. I had known instantly that something was wrong. She hadn't been a real mother for a decade. If she weren't ignoring me or complaining about my behavior, she was drunk or on drugs. Not exactly a mother of the year.

The only good memories of my childhood happened when I was around six years old. The few things I remember are her smiling or hugging me. Like she was completely another person. Then she met him and my life changed for the worse.

"We understand it's hard," Carlisle said and put his hand on Esme's. "But you might regret it later. Not being there."

"No! I'm fucking certain I won't regret it!"

"Edward, calm down." Aro sighed. "We will not force you to go. But you should still think about it later. When you're calm."

Taking a couple of deep breaths, I tried to get my racing heart to slow down. Getting worked up was not helpful in this conversation. It was harder to explain and think rationally when you were angry.

Aro, Carlisle and Esme watched me with concern. I didn't want them to. I didn't need their pity.

As I slowly calmed down, I realized no one had spoken to me about the cause of my mother's death. Was it too early for an autopsy report to come back or were they planning on keeping the information from me?

"Why did my mom die?" I asked casually, keeping my tone neutral.

Aro glanced at Carlisle and Esme. They all looked suddenly sad. Esme blinked her eyes quickly, trying to stop tears from falling. Carlisle took a hold of Esme's hand as he noticed.

Maybe my word choice was wrong. By asking 'why' they thought I was looking for some bigger reason. A reason from God or something. I couldn't care less. I wanted to know 'how' she had died. Although, I already had a guess.

Aro cleared his throat. "Death can sometimes be unexpected and—"

"No, I mean what was the cause of her death?" I asked before he had time to continue his deep analysis of death.

"The preliminary results came and she…" Aro hesitated. Did he think I was going to break or something?

"Was it drugs?" I prompted. After my mother had started using, I had witnessed her slowly losing all interest in the world. If she wasn't already high at the moment, she was looking for new stuff to put up her nose. Everything else became irrelevant, including me. I blamed him. If he hadn't introduced her to drugs, my life could have been a lot happier.

Aro nodded silently.

"Drugs?" Carlisle looked taken back. "Elizabeth used drugs?" He turned his widened eyes to me. "When did she start using?" He almost whispered like he was too scared to know the answer.

"When I was nine," I answered.

Esme gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. Carlisle stared at me with a mortified expression. Even Aro seemed surprised. Why was it so big deal? It didn't matter when it started. The only shitty thing that mattered was that it started.

"I'm so sorry… I should have been there," Carlisle muttered, running his fingers through his light hair. A habit, I also weirdly had.

I didn't know what to say. Did Carlisle feel obligated to try to care for me because he was my father? That made no sense. My mother, if she had, in the beginning, an urge to take care of me, she certainly lost the urge over the years.

Esme wrapped her hands around Carlisle.

"Edward, I've been thinking…" Aro broke the silence, "… that we should arrange therapy sessions for you. This has taken a toll on you and—"

"No way in hell! I'm not going to talk about my feelings with some stranger!"

"It's not just talking about feelings," Aro tried to reason with me, "You should give it a shot. You have all this anger inside of you—"

"Shut the fuck up!" I yelled, making them all flinch a little. I knew I was constantly yelling and cursing, and my mood sifted quickly from calm to angry but I was not about to open up to a therapist about my life.

I stood up, not able to sit still anymore.

"You see my point?" Aro continued with raised eyebrows.

I walked over to the window, turning my back to them. The sun had disappeared already. The pine trees looked daunting as they swayed along with the wind. The sidewalk, beside the building we were currently in, had only one, old-looking streetlamp. Its weak light was a miserable attempt to shed light on the street.

I heard Aro sigh heavily before saying in a low voice. "I understand if you've changed your mind about taking Edward. We can keep him here and—"

"No, he's coming home with us," Carlisle said sternly, interrupting Aro.

I turned to face them. Carlisle looked at me with certainty. Esme nodded, her eyes determined.

I didn't realize I had held my breath. They weren't going to give up even though they had witnessed me getting angry? I guess, they had now some idea about how fucked up I was but they still hadn't seen everything. It was only a matter of time for them to realize they couldn't help me. I was beyond help. But a tiny voice in me wanted to believe they wouldn't give up. I didn't dare to acknowledge it, to give it room to grow. Otherwise, it would tighten its hold on me by digging its roots around my thoughts, concealing the reality with its leaves. It would make me believe in false hope.

"Okay," I breathed, ashamed of the slight tremble in my voice.