This short story and its two sequels represent my foray into fan fiction back in the early 2000's. It was originally posted to the BHZ Homestar Runner forums back in the day. Looking back almost twenty years later, I'm much happier with the writing and story-telling of Revenge and Final Chronicles, but I figured it was worth uploading them all. Hope you enjoy!

These tales are written from the perspective of Coach Z, which explains the intentionally odd narrator's voice. If you're not familiar with his accent, this weird little story is going to make even less sense.

The idea for the series was lifted from Strong Bad Email 73 - Mascot, when Coach Z says, "Git yer head in tha game, The Chort! The Cheat is wide open!"

Well, good mraning to everyone! Unless you're reading this after the mraning, in which case, I should say good afternooorn! Goodnight? Oh, well, that doesn't really matter. I'm here to tell you about the Legend of The Chort! I'm one of the few praple who survived an encounter with The Chort. I escaped by the skin of my torth! Luckily, The Cheat was there to, well, we'll get to that.

Let me set the scene for yas. The Cheat and the rest of da boys had just finished a hard won game against Beehive University. It was The Cheat's turn to buy the real fruit smorthies, so he went on ahead to place our order, while we clearned up all the honey and wax from our field.

We began to walk towards the smorthie place, when we saw Bubs running for his life! He was screaming "Help me please! Help me please! Help me help me help me please! The Cheat just destroyed my concession stand! He's running wild!"

We just stood there and watched as Bubs ran past us. We were all stunned! The Cheat had always lourved getting into mischief, but this was so frar past the limits of good taste! What could have made him do it? We were all shocked, so we decided to go get some smroorthieries to help us think.

When we got there, we found The Cheat! He was just sitting there, like nothing had happened. Well, we had some questions, and he needed to have some answers. But little did we know what his answers would mean.