The Coke Incident

Author – Shade

Disclaimor – I do not own them…and with the way they act in my fics I don't think I'd want to.

No spoilers that I know of.

Here's to Bat who prodded me until I wrote this.

I don't write humor often and this was a response to a challenge on one of the mailing lists. So ream me if you want, but here you go.


The Twins were huddled in their corner by the Merovingian's banquet table in the restaurant of the Châteaux. They had pushed their silver bong out of the way and were leaned over, heads almost touching to observe the can that had been set between them.

"Vanilla Coke?" Two peered at the can, picking it up with two fingers as if it were diseased.

"Well, how did it get on our table?" One inquired tilting his head to the side to observe the offending red and cream-colored aluminum object.

Two set it down and wiped his hand on the seat cushion distastefully. One nudged the can with a gunmetal silver painted nail and frowned, waiting for Two to answer his question. The second twin noticed the first looking at him expectantly and shrugged.

"How should I know, I don't order our drinks."

One inclined his head to the other side and then his lips curled into their trademark smirk.

"You know what I heard. If you drink Coke and eat pop rocks your head will explode." One said matter of factly, nodding his head so his dreadlocks bobbed for a moment before settling back on his shoulders.

"That's impossible….that sort of thing can't happen for real… You are such a liar." Two frowned, looking a little peeved at the Coke and then at his brother.

"Well if I'm so wrong then prove it to me and do it." One said, his smile turning into a full grin, complete with perfect, white teeth.

"Well I can't, I don't have any Pop rocks." Two said matter of factly, brushing some lint off his shoulder. When his eyes returned to his brother he frowned even deeper as One slipped a black and pink package across the table.

"Why?" was all that Two could come up with as he picked up the package of Pop rocks and waved it at his brother animatedly.

"I like candy…." The first brother muttered and shrugged a shoulder. "Now prove it, you have Pop rocks and a can of Coke."

Two set the package down and crossed his arms over his chest defiantly, a scowl forming on his pretty frosted lips. "I don't want to."

"Oh…well, fine if you want to be a Wuss about it then," One reached across the table to take the candy back but Two grabbed his wrist.

"I am not a wuss," Two growled and snatched the package away from his brother, tearing it open. "And I'll prove to you that your head won't explode if you drink Coke and eat Pop rocks…that's just silly."

One just nodded slightly, popping the tab on the Coke and setting it down in front of his brother. Two muttered something before looking inside the package and sniffing it. His nose crinkled slightly before he put some in his mouth and then grabbed the can of Coke and took a swig.

For a moment One almost regretted his little suggestion as it looked as if his brother's head just might explode. Two's eyes were so wide behind his glasses you could see the red tinted orbs just above the edge of the sunglasses. His eyebrows would have disappeared into his hairline if it wasn't so high and he had stopped breathing.

"Two…." The first brother whimpered slightly, leaning a little closer. Two's throat convulsed and he swallowed, his body spasmed and he fell backwards in his chair, crashing to the floor. He started coughing and gasping for air.

One leaned slightly over to look down at his hacking brother and ducked his head slightly. "Well… least your head didn't explode." The comment sounded idiotic even to One's ears but he couldn't think of anything better to say to his convulsing brother at the moment.

After Two had regained his composure, more then half the restaurant staring at them by now, he stood fluidly. His cheeks were still tinted slightly pink from the coughing fit but he calmly righted his chair and sat back down. He slowly turned to One, his face calm, deadly neutral.

"Yes….at least my head didn't explode and the next time you do something like that to me again you better have insurance." He snarled and grabbed the half empty can of Coke and dumped it over his brother's head, drenching him in brown sticky fluid.

One gasped, his eyes wide, glasses skewed and then shrieked, taking off for the bathroom at an alarming speed. Two just sat and grinned at himself, pleased, hands folding primly in his lap as he watched his brother tear through the dining room.

Meanwhile at the Merovingians table, Persephone was staring at them in disbelief. She turned to her husband, a frown on her pouty lips.

"I think we need to invest in getting those two a hobby." She said, shaking her head.