"Babysitting Chaos" Challenge A spell turns Angel and Faith into small children, and Cordelia and Wesley must take care of them until things can be turned around. Challenge Requirements:
- Faith has to beat up on Angel
-Little Angel brooding
-A Faith temper tantrum
-Cordelia leaving both kids with Wes to get a manicure
-Faith and Angel asking Cordelia where babies come from
-Angel biting someone while in human form
I may or may not be continuing this fic, based on, among other things, the amount of time I have (translating directly to the amount of sleeping and eating I'm willing to give up as the rest of my time is booked pretty solid) and whether or not this fic becomes a priority over the other two challenge responses I've got going on.
This story picks up right at the end of Season One, when Faith comes to Angel for help, but before the police and the Council come after her… so we've got broody Angel, hard core Faith, bitchy Cordelia, and slightly dorky Wesley. Oh, the good old days.
Throwback: Chapter One
Cordelia filed her nails, thinking that perhaps a nice, long paid vacation of the psychotic-murderess-free type was just what she needed.
"Hey, Book Boy," she said, addressing Wesley over her nail file.
Wesley looked at her, his I'm-British-and-Perturbed look clear on his face. "Yes?" he answered dryly.
"Can you answer the phone?" Cordelia asked, wriggling her nails demonstratively and then beginning to apply polish.
"It's not ringing," Wes replied.
"It will," Cordy replied, looking at him as if her were mentally challenged. "Law of nature. Wet nails yields ringy phone."
Sure enough, a moment later, the phone rang and Cordelia gestured impatiently towards it. "Make with the answering, I-find-Ancient-Texts-So-Fascinating Guy."
Wesley glared at her, adjusted his glasses, and answered the phone.
"Angel Investigations," he said. Wes immediately fell silent, listening for several minutes. "Excellent," he said finally. "Thank you. This will be very helpful."
Cordelia rolled her eyes. As far as she could tell, this was Wesley's version of talking dirty.
Hanging up the phone, Wes walked back over to the book and made a note in the margin with his ink pen.
He grinned, very impressed with himself. "I've just mastered this protection spell," he said. "That was a colleague calling to confirm my translation."
"So we'll be safe from the s-l-a-y-e-r in the basement?" Cordelia asked.
Wes looked down at her. "I doubt she can hear you, Cordelia," he said, "and Faith can in fact spell the word slayer."
Cordelia ignored him. "So the spell de-psycho-fies her?" she asked.
"Not exactly," Wes said. "She maintains her state of mind, her basic personality, but it will surround her with an anti-violence shield, an aura of innocence if you will."
"Will she still be the mayor-ess of slutville?" Cordelia asked.
Wesley shrugged. "We can only hope so," he said, the reference flying straight over Cordy's head as she started painting the nails on her other hand.
Wes spoke the words to the spell firmly, his pronunciation wobbling only on the last phrase. He closed the book triumphantly. He was sure one minor emphasis mistake would not render the spell useless.
From downstairs, the two heard a very loud pitched scream, and they each grabbed a weapon and rushed down.
"Way to go on the spell front, Skippy," Cordelia said.
"We have no evidence that anything has gone wrong with my spell," Wesley replied. Then he gestured toward the elevator door. "We open it on the count of three," he said, nervous that they could see nothing from this angle.
"One, two, three…" the two threw open the door and ran out, weapons held high. They didn't make the most intimidating of pictures.
There, standing at the edge of the room, was a little girl of about four years old, with dark hair and sullen eyes, standing with her arms crossed over her chest. Her entire body was completely engulfed in a black leather number.
Next to her, holding his shin, was a little boy with solemn expression on his face of about the same age, his small body dwarfed by a large black t-shirt.
"She kicked me!" the little boy said, outraged. "And Da says never to hit a girl, even if she's ugly and deserves it! Not even if she kicks you or kisses you or nothing." The little boy glowered in the little girl's general direction.
"I'm not going to kiss you, boy wonder," the little girl said scornfully. "I'm never going to kiss any boy ever."
"I take it the answer to the slutville question is no then," Cordelia muttered.
Wesley looked at her, a puzzled expression on his face.
"Don't you get it?" she asked, amazed at how dense he was being. "Why don't you say hello to Evidence and That Something Has Gone Wrong With Your Spell," she said, indicating the two children.
"My name's not Evidence!" the little boy said, a brooding expression settling over his face. "It's Liam."
"Oh dear," Wesley said. "Angel."
Cordelia nodded. She turned to the little girl, he now had her hands on her hips. "What's your name, sweetie?" she asked, though she knew quite well what the answer was going to be.
"What's it to you?" the child asked, narrowing her eyes.
"Oh dear," Wes said again. "Faith."
TBC… more fluffy goodness with little Faith and little Angel, as well as seeing how Wes and Cordy deal with their little charges.
Please Review if you would like to read more, so I know that people are interested in reading this story!