To my dearly departed cat,
Ah, Munie, faintly, I do remember. You did me in, hadn't you? I knew better than to let you take the jewels. Yet, my fondness of you got the better of my clouded mind. The vacuum, the fish bowl and the jewel. You planned this, my demize.
But, unfortunately, for you, the jewel is a fraud. My death, a simple ruse to outsmart you. Well, by the time you find this, I will have given it back to the store. Too expensive to keep. I really need to find you a better tag. One that will not have you taken a way on many accounts.
-P.S You will not have fish cakes for dinner.