Overwhelming is the life of a teenager
Feelings of guilt can be quite overwhelming, especially if they are felt for all the wrong reasons
It was already after classes. With the final exam upon, before their cadet days would be over for good. And then, their very first real life test would begin. With live ordinance and real life scenarios rather than simulated ones.
It would be the first time when the Batchers would be sent out on their own. A field test determining whether these special clones were permitted to join their brethren out there, fighting the good fight against their enemies. Should they survive it, of course.
There were four of them. A tight knit group. All of them decanted together. Growing up together and trained together. If the Maker would have it, they would always remain that way, together. At least that was the grand plan. The four of them against the whole galaxy. They were after all kin, a family. The four thoroughbred warriors.
But, for one of them, certain feelings, yet to be named sensations, had begun to emerge. Growing stronger each passing day. No matter how hard he was trying to suppress them, they kept on growing like a pup rancor becoming the large size beast it needed to be. And soon enough, he was loosing control over them. Completely.
The worst of it was, that they were all directed towards one of his batch mates.
For a young person like that, it all felt totally overwhelming. Because the one he had feelings for, was also his very best friend. Someone he had always shared everything with. Ever since the day they had been born. But this time, it was all different. He felt, broken because of these, disturbances.
Being close to the other was no longer an option. Despite having shared spaces with them regularly in the past. As it had always been their way. To share everything. Sleeping together in the same bed for comfort after all those bad days and the following nights. Even the cuddle pile shared with the whole batch now becoming a great big no-no.
And so, completely clamping down about how and what he was feeling and for whom. Isolating himself from the rest was the thing he had decided to do. Becoming the odd man out, keeping his distance was the best choice.
Because how could he tell his very best friend, his family member, his batch mate how he really felt about them?
After their final exam, he was going to request to be transferred to another team. It was the best option for all of them. Nothing disturb amongst the whole. The team would survive even if he left them. They would get a new member, a better member. Not someone broken like he was now.
And that would also be the end of his feelings. His, desires. It was the best choice for them all.
It was decided.
Caught on the way back
Sometimes all it takes to start something new, something really important, is one single clumsy kiss
"Cross, what the kriff?"
A loud curse left Hunter's lips after being half dragged from the hallway he had been walking along, submerged deep in his own thoughts when Crosshair had literally accosted him mid stride. And then having dared dragging him into a nearby supply closet.
A place the Batchers had sometimes spied the older clones to be hanging out for whatever mysterious reason they liked to spend their time inside of the cramped space.
"Oh come on Hunter. Don't be such a wuss. It's just a little research I want to do."
Crosshair sounded a tad nervous despite his bravado.
His voice low and, well, if Hunter did not know any better, it sounded almost… suggestive? Having a hint of a coy glare on his face just the same. Which was causing all kinds of alarms to go off inside of Hunter.
Then again, Crosshair was always up to some mischief and it usually never ended well.
And whatever research Crosshair had in mind? Well, it certainly wasn't part of their current curriculum either!
It was that mixture of Crosshair's dual persona. The cool and the calm exterior with the permascowl in place for most to see, paired with the softer side of the cadet nobody else except his Batch ever got to see. Something which had always appealed to Hunter on a certain level.
And all those observations of Crosshair's personality, his mannerisms, his… everything, were becoming something Hunter had started to pay a lot more attention to lately. Despite all of the doubts still lingering inside of Hunter, that it was all wrong to have any any such feelings for his batch mate.
"Spit it out!"
Hunter tried to be nonchalant and take control of the situation. Like he always did. To push back, push it all away. To be normal. But mostly, he tried to be uncaring. As those familiar sensations were once again emerging to the surface. Especially because of the hoarse way Crosshair had delivered his words to Hunter. Sending those tingling sensations down Hunter's spine.
But Crosshair only glared at the other clone in the dimly lit space. His eyes locked on Hunter's. Towering over Hunter in the small space at close proximity. Neither of them speaking for a spell.
There was only one sound which became loud in the otherwise silent space. That of a nervous gulp. Clearly something unintentional and unavoidable. From which cadet it came from, remained a mystery. Perhaps it was both of them.
Hunter more felt than saw the penetrating glare of his batch mate having closed his eyes for a moment to hide from Crosshair's glare. Because the tingling sensations were returning with a revenge. Even if Hunter had tried to force them all away with gusto.
But the more Hunter pushed back the worse his own situation became.
As if it wasn't enough for Hunter to deal with the special gift of his, being able to sense electromagnetic fields, people, scents, all of that. And now, this too?
Being in close proximity with Crosshair was a really, really bad thing. Because right now, Hunter was no longer in control, of anything. An Hunter was afraid of what he might just do, while becoming overwhelmed by his urges.
And then only live to regret it.
It did not help he could smell Crosshair's familiar scent. The very one which caused all of Hunter's sensations to run rampant in the first place. The scent growing even stronger now even and for whatever reason.
Must've been the closed quarters they were in, Hunter thought then.
Hunter tried to look anywhere else but into Crosshair 's eyes. But the other clone was relentless. Crosshair's eyes never wavering. It was as if he was glaring right into Hunter's very soul.
They must have stood there, in the cramped closet for a long while. Their eyes locked once again. Hunter feeling more braver than earlier for some reason.
The bravado, mainly of Crosshair's, was all but gone. It seemed to have been replaced by something else now. Doubt? or awkwardness perhaps?
No, it was something else. Hunter could see it now. As clear as day.
"There is something, I have really wanted to try out for some time now."
And then, without any warning, Crosshair made his move.
Before Hunter knew what hit him, he had a mouthful of Crosshair's lips on his.
The touch ever so soft and light. And in a fleeting moment, it was all gone. Hunter mourning the loss of the touch. The ghost of it still lingering there, where Crosshair's lips had touched his.
Crosshair had taken a step back. Clearly as confused about what had happened even if had been the instigator for the… encounter.
But if there was one single thing which had brought some clarity to Hunter's mind? It was the fact that the two of them clearly did share the same feelings for each other. And perhaps it wasn't a bad thing after all.
Feeling rather elated of this sudden revelation, Hunter grew bolder. Not wanting to waste the moment, the opportunity he had been given. To really validate what he was feeling wasn't wrong.
Hunter stepped closer to Crosshair. Closing the gap between them.
Crosshair's eyes darted nervously onto Hunter's.
Hunter leaned in, his lips touching Crosshair's ever so gently. The colourful sparks flying behind his eyes and the familiar butterflies in his stomach were back.
Which of them it was who tightened the grip? Whose lips grew hungrier? Was neither here nor there. It happened and it felt so good. So right.
Their first second kiss. Together.