Title: In the Absence of Memory

Author: Yih

Disclaimer: All characters & original universe belong to J.K. Rowling.

Spoiler Warning: There are spoilers of OotP in this fanfic. They are embedded into the fanfic. I won't tell you which are spoilers and which aren't, but readers that haven't read OotP should be aware that they are in the fanfic.

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I wake up
I don't know who I am
It's all lost
Those memories of me

Nothing's there
Not anymore, it's gone
Gone away
To a place, far away

I run hard
Attempting to get there
Where is there?
I don't know, I don't know

Wish I did
Wish I could remember
But I don't
The memories are gone

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1: Kidnapping (June 27, 2003 to June 30, 2003)

He knew the prophecy; he knew there was only one way to prevent it from happening. This was the only way and it was an ancient dark bonding curse that had been used by lovers in the most desperate of situations to prevent their beloved ones from leaving them. He had heard about the existence of such a spell, but it had taken him years to find a suitable one. Once he'd found the spell, he'd taken the diligence to make sure that it was translated from its archaic language accurately.

The version of the bonding spell that had been uncovered had two methods of establishing the bond, both means giving the spell-caster the dominant position in the relationship. It was this dominance when exerted that prevented the bonded from ever leaving. That was precisely what he'd been looking for. The only thing he had left was to decide if he wanted the bonding to be physical or spiritual. Blood was required for the former, while the latter involved a transfer of life. There was no question after he learned of the additional benefits of a spiritual bonding which he was going to undergo.

The transfer of life was of no risk to him, and it gave him the additional benefit of being able to draw Harry's magical essence, his power. The draining of Harry's power would give him the necessary boost to try one of the Forbidden spells. Forbidden because no living wizard had enough magic to attempt them anymore. But sucking Harry Potter dry would combine the powers of two of the strongest wizards in existence, though most of Harry's remarkable abilities had been taken from him when the reflected Avada Kedavra Curse had nearly killed him.

If he succeeded in casting the Forbidden spell, then he'd be back to the prime of his life physically. Even though he didn't necessarily mind his grotesque outer form if it meant more power, more ability--- however, he had discovered that this disgusting body did nothing to increase his magical strength Once he had learned this, it hadn't taken him long to find a spell to reverse it. Unfortunately it had been a Forbidden spell, a spell he could never cast even at full strength. Luckily this dark bonding curse had become an unexpected windfall.

Of course, with spells that were decidedly dark there were many details that had to be precise. This particular bonding spell was exactly what he wanted, and it had been to his immense relief that his situation fit the circumstances needed. The bonding curse was indeed a curse against lovers that were bonded. Bonded lovers weren't suppose to break apart, but somehow one of them had tried a longtime ago. A foolish thing to do when the lover in question was a very powerful dark wizard.

The poor girl had been cursed to be twice bonded and always trapped. She had helped the dark wizard to develop even more powerful black magic, since he had drained her rather powerful magical energy. An interesting side loop was that the required bond didn't necessarily have to be a lover's bond, though it had been made for the purposes of spurned bonded lovers. Voldemort had smiled when he read the last line that any bond would do, wrote the descendant of the creator of the dark bonded curse. Any bond would do like a bond caused by an Avada Kedavra Curse gone awry.

The actual transfer of life had an interesting side effect, the dark wizard in question had decided that memories were the sum of a person's life so he'd made the bond rely on transporting the memories of the inflicted to the inflictor. It was that or the person's soul, and a person without a soul was as good as a dummy. But the total erasure of Harry Potter's memories was even better than Voldemort had hoped for. A clean slate in which to draw a vast reserve of magical enemy for his arch nemesis. What sweet justice!

All he needed now was the boy in question. The sacred task of retrieving the boy he'd given to his most trusted and most powerful Death Eaters, Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy. With Bella, he could trust her to deliver the boy even at the cost of her life especially with the foolish episode of before that had let the boy slip away from him. That costly error had delayed him, vastly hindered the movement for two years but now it was about to be righted and Harry was going to help him like he had once before.

While he didn't trust Lucius with his life like he did Bella, he had to admit that Malfoy had his uses and was one of his stronger Death Eaters, especially when he'd discovered Severus Snape's treachery. Too bad Dumbledore had grown fond of his spy and kept him sequestered within the protection of Hogwarts, but no matter once he had Harry under his domination he'd be sure to deal out his punishment. But he had to be careful, Severus was still the best Potions Master alive and had at one point been loyal to him. Severus indeed still had his uses, even if it meant keeping him locked up 24 hours a day as a Potion-making machine.

Yes, it was going to be a distinct pleasure to have two strong wizards like Harry Potter and Severus Snape having no choice but to submit to him. He still had to wait, but it wasn't going to be long. It had taken two years of planning, two years of researching, two years of waiting to actually have the necessary number of Death Eaters to make the assault possible. Losing all but Bella to Azkaban had taken him a year to rectify. Many had been lost in the escape, the few that remained were his strongest--- the most capable.

"You know what I want you to do," Voldemort told them in a commanding yet harsh tone. He was still upset with Bella for delaying the moment and with Lucius for making it harder to uncover the prophecy. "You'd best not fail."

Both Lucius and Bella tilted their heads down to their Master with their utmost obedience. They knew better to cross him after the failure that had resulted in a great decline in their numbers not to mention the stall in his plans. When they received the dismissive signal that indicated the anti-apparation wards had been lifted, they quickly apparated to the designated place where the rest of the Death Eaters were gathering.

There was a huge risk in this monumental undertaking, but the gains that could be gained from this risk were well worth it. To have Harry Potter eliminated as a potential enemy and to be able to utilize the strongest wizard born since his own birth as a power source was too good of a chance to miss up on. No, there was too much to be gained from this to let it wait when he had the dark bonding curse fully translated and ready to use. He'd waited too long, much too long.

All this planning was going to be put into use and there was no better time to strike than now. Everything was relatively quiet, he'd let the summer after Harry's graduation be quite normal. There was the occasional raid, but nothing momentous to the point of causing any undue tension. Just enough not to cause suspicion of something more radical in the wings, it had been a brilliant plan... an ingenious idea. Now all that was left was for it to be carried out.

His hopes wrested in the hands of Bella and Lucius, they would not fail him if they valued their lives. No, they would not dare to fall disappoint him when his hopes were so high for them. If they did what he asked of them, they would be rewarded greatly beyond their wildest dreams. He had once promised Bella in front of all the Death Eaters such a gift but her dreadful failure had made him angry with his most loyal Death Eater. If she succeeded now, all would be forgiven. She was, after all, his most devout Death Eater.


Everything was in place, the Death Eaters that had remained about the atrocity of Azkaban were all standing before Bella and Lucius with deferential expressions. There was no question who was their Dark Lord's favorite Death Eater, it was Bellatrix Lestrange; the most powerful was undoubtedly, Lucius Malfoy. The only thing that relieved the rest of the Death Eaters were that those two weren't the best of friends, in fact it was well known that they despised each other. Before Bella had escaped from Azkaban with the aid of Voldemort two years ago, Lucius had been Voldemort's favored one.

He was still more powerful, only because the years wasted in Azkaban had wore away on Bella. It had stripped her of her beauty and most of her awful power. She'd been a fearsome witch, the most powerful Dark Witch he'd known of. If she hadn't been, she never would have been in the Inner Circle. To this day, she was the only witch within the Death Eater ranks. But now she was only a shadow of her former self, a thing he took great pleasure in. It meant that he still somewhat had the upper hand on her.

It was also to his good luck that Bella's weak husband, weak compared to her, had succumbed to the Dementors and had lost his mind. Lestrange had been weaker than Bella, but he was more than a match for Lucius as much as he hated to admit it. The two of them had been the Dark Lord's darlings. His two favorites, they'd accompanied Voldemort everywhere and the three of them together had been unstoppable until Voldemort had been taken down by a wayward Killing Curse. Even Dumbledore didn't stand a chance if the Lestranges stood with Voldemort.

At one time it hadn't hurt that his wife had been her younger sister. Narcissa had always been a weak spot with Bella, which had fortunately made the witch be civil to him. But now that Narcissa was dead, Bella had no reason to try to be polite to him any longer of Narcissa's sake. He was sure that she blamed him, even if it was really Draco's fault. He had foolishly stepped in front of a curse that Lucius knew the counter for, and before he could do anything his equally foolish wife had stepped to block the curse from Draco. The curse shouldn't have killed, it really shouldn't have but Narcissa had never been a strong witch, not like Bella.

"This is not the time," Bella hissed with warning, "to have your mind wander, Malfoy."

He narrowed his silvery blue eyes into malicious slits. The vapid bitch. "I never thought," he sneered back, "that it was a crime to think of the best way to put our Dark Lord's plans into motion. Excuse me for trying to help him succeed."

Bella's fathomless pits for eyes stared deeply into him as if trying to discern if he was telling the truth or not. She had this eerie way of gazing into him that unnerved him, not that he would ever let her know that. Her beauty had been a terrible thing, she had seemed like a siren then but now it was even more so with her wasted looks. "You have no need to do any thinking," she snarled in response. "We do what the Dark Lord tells us to do."

Definitely a bitch. Voldemort's bitch. He suppressed the urge to spat that particular thought at her face, instead he turned to face the Death Eaters that had finished portkeying to the site. No one besides him and Bella knew the location, it was safer that way. Once he did a quick head count to assure that they were all there, he began to tell them what they all knew had been coming, "It happens tonight. It's Potter's eighteenth birthday, he'll be celebrating with a small group of friends at Hogsmeade."

She didn't trust Lucius, but she had no choice but to trust him. The Dark Lord had already told her that they needed Lucius with them, that she had to try to be civil to the upstart Malfoy. Yes, his name might be as old and as prestigious as her own venerable married and maiden name, Lestrange and Black, but his family hadn't dabbled to the degree in the Dark Arts like hers had. Malfoy's mansion had a light feeling compared to the noble and most ancient House of Black. The Black family home was how a Dark Wizard house should be like, foreboding and ominous not the inviting elegance of the Malfoy residence.

"We will strike in the midst of this party when they are all incapacitated with alcohol," Lucius continued smoothly, despite the haunting way Bella was glancing at him. "Bellatrix has seen fit to arrange a special surprise for them in their drinks. It should make it very easy to capture Potter. This has been two years in the making and we will not fail. We will succeed and then everyone will know that it is the Dark Lord who is the power, no one else."

She didn't want to admit it, but Lucius did have this irrefutable charisma about him that inspired people to follow him. He had more than his fair share of supporters amidst the Death Eaters. But she was privy to more of Voldemort's secrets than he was, that she comforted herself with. Once he regained his beauty, she was sure that no one would even give Lucius a second look. There'd been a reason so many had followed her Dark Lord, it was because of his undeniable presence and power.

"The party is to take place at Hog's Head. You know where that is. Invisibility potions have been arranged for this moment. They won't work as well as they would if they were at their full potent strength, but it will keep our presence from going undetected for at least an hour," Lucius declared. "Once you've taken the potion, apparate there at once and you are all informed of the signal?" All the Death Eaters in the room nodded. "Then let it begin."

Lucius gestured for them to walk up to them, where Bella handed out the carefully rationed potion. It wasn't likely they were going to get anymore for a while, not while Severus was hiding away at Hogwarts. The traitorous bastard, she thought venomously, but at least he had his uses. Despite having made this particular potion a year ago, it was still very potent. Potent enough to be able to deliver this perfect plan to kidnap Harry Potter and bring him back to their Lord and Master. Who knew the treacherous creature would prove so very helpful?

"Go," she whispered harshly at the wizard she'd given the first draught to. He apparated at her command and she let a tiny smile turn up the corners of her thin lips. It had begun, the Dark Lord's third rising, final rising- -- into a new age of Darkness.


Hog's Head was surrounded around the perimeter by twenty odd Death Eaters. The hour of invisibility gave them plenty of time to discern that they were outnumbered about two to one with those inside. The vast majority of those at the birthday celebration were the Weasleys which made up about one out of every four there. Quite a few Professors were there including Severus Snape, the despicable turncoat, a delightful addition that Bella was going to take advantage of. What alarmed them was that Dumbledore was also there. They hadn't planned on that.

But they had successfully within the hour, contaminated the drink supply with one of Severus's own handy tasteless poisons. Not only that, they had set up anti-apparation wards and a powerful shield that repelled anyone that might be nearby from helping the unfortunate souls within. Their plan had been brilliant, yet it could fail. The Professors weren't a problem. Lucius and Bella were more than a match for Snape, McGonagall, and Flitwick. The Headmaster was a different story. Voldemort had at full strength had found difficulty with Dumbledore.

They only had to hope that the slow acting poison deterred Dumbledore enough that they could get the boy within their grasp and portkey him out of there. Bella had already told Lucius in whispered urgency that it'd be a great idea if they could also bring Snape as well. Lucius had just shrugged and told her that he'd try to get Snape with his portkey only if Bella succeeded in getting Harry Potter with hers. If she failed, he'd resort to using his to secure the Boy Who Lived for their Master himself.

"It's time," she hissed at him, gesturing frantically to the Death Eaters near them that were going to breach into the tavern. Two were to stay outside to keep the shielding wards up and to take down the anti-apparation wards when it was time for them to make their retreat. Their best chance was to take the partygoers by surprise. Astonish the bloody hell out of them. "Let's go."

She didn't have to tell him twice, they rushed into Hog's Head their wands drawn and immediately began to throw dark curses at the nearest occupants. No Killing Curses were used, that curse took too much energy to cast and Cruciatus was just as effective at impeding an enemy. The Death Eaters had managed to halt half of the occupants in the room, but those were mainly the younger people. A few Death Eaters got struck with stupefying spells, others got blocked with the impediment spell. But luckily the poison had slowed their reaction time enough that Dumbledore failed to react in enough time to protect his golden boy with a shielding charm.

Amidst the utter chaos, Lucius saw Severus standing in front of Harry, trying valiantly to protect the boy with his own body. While Dumbledore was trying to deal with protecting some muggles behind him, Lucius cried out, "Expelliarmus!" He had used the full force of all his power behind the spell, and it was to his luck that Severus and Harry had been distracted by Avery and Nott. Both of them felt their wands pulled from their grasp, landing in Lucius's outstretched hand.

Bella saw the opportunity and launched herself at the Boy Who Lived, holding him by the neck and immediately activated the portkey that would transport them to Malfoy mansion. Harry struggled, clawing at her face viciously but it was to no avail as the portkey tugged at them, pulling them into the vortex. When Lucius was sure that Bella was gone with the Potter boy, he took out his own portkey and grabbed Severus by the length of his dark greasy hair. It took a moment, long enough for him to scream at the rest of the Death Eaters to get the hell out of there!

Thankfully, he and once friend Severus were pulled to his home where they were violently deposited in front of a highly pleased Dark Lord. It was then that Lucius saw that the Boy Who Lived was writhing under the Cruciatus Curses that from the gleam in Bella's eyes must have been placed on by her. Her dark eyes again sent a dark shiver down his spine and out of the corner of his eye he saw Voldemort point his wand at Severus. "Crucio!"

Severus crumbled to the ground, not crying out in pain much like his devoted pupil Harry. Both of them refused to scream in pain, instead their mouth opened up in silent cries of the horrendous torture. But they refused to vocalize it, even if they were tossing and turning on the ground, their faces contorted with their anguish. It was a relief to Lucius that their was no mad glimmer in the Dark Lord's eyes that shone in Bella's. This was done to show his power, his control over two very powerful wizards. When Voldemort decided they had been under the dark curse long enough, he called out the counter, "Finite Incantatum."

Both Harry and Severus crumbled to the ground as if they had no more energy in the world. Lucius heard Bella's complaint that they ought to be punished more severely, especially the nasty traitor but Voldemort ignored her. Instead, he commanded Lucius to pull their heads up, which Lucius did as told. He grabbed Potter by his tousled locks and Snape by his greasy mane, pulling them by their hair to lift their faces up to his Dark Lord. By this time, the Death Eaters that had managed to escape had apparated into the room.

"Goyle, take the traitor to another room, he doesn't deserve to know what I'm going to do with Harry Potter," Voldemort addressed in a deliberately cold voice. The elder Goyle quickly obeyed, having to body bind the Potions Master in spite of his weaken state as he'd struggle to prevent being taken away. Even if he didn't like the boy too much, Potter was still his student and he didn't want to leave him at the mercy of Voldemort. He didn't have much choice when he was dragged violently away, with Harry giving Severus pleading looks to just go with Goyle.

When Severus had been taken away, Voldemort focused his crimson eyes on his most despised enemy. The boy had grown quite a bit, he was no longer a child anymore--- instead he was a gorgeous young man. Yes, it was startling how much staring at Harry Potter reminded him of the way he use to look. The only thing that was different was the green eyes and the untidy hair. After that, everything was remarkably similar. The dark hair, the golden skin, the lush lips, the straight nose, the slender yet muscular body. He was pleased though to find that Potter wasn't as tall as he was, standing at under six feet.

It was with disgust that he remembered his own decrepit, skeleton-like form. But it wasn't going to be like this very much longer, he was going to use this beautiful young man and strip him of his power, make him submissive to him and... and regain his lost beauty. The grin that appeared on his face he knew was ghastly, but he couldn't help it. He'd been waiting for this for a very long time, and he wasn't a patient man. The time had come, oh yes indeed, the time to make Harry Potter his had come. It was going to be a glorious moment.

It was time to bond his soul with the Boy Who Lived permanently.

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Author's Note: No one in this story is going to be 'good' nor 'bad'. I will be delving very deeply into 'dark gray'. I find Bellatrix a fascinating new character especially in relation to Lord Voldemort. I hope to develop, Voldemort, Bellatrix, Lucius, Harry, and Severus into very 'round'/'full' characters. The pairing will be as mentioned in the summary HP/LV or HP/LM. I am not certain at this point who I'm leaning for. I like both pairings immensely. There will be HP/SS and HP/DM friendship in this story.

Questions: (1) Isn't Bellatrix simply marvelous? Thoughts on her? (2) How is Lucius? (3) Lord Voldemort? (4) Lastly, your taken on the dark bonding curse and the Forbidden spell?