Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.
Welcome to my latest story! It's an Alternate Universe, Severitus story, although some canon things will remain the same and after the first chapter, it takes place Harry's first year. Hope you enjoy!
I don't fully understand how the Imperious curse works, how long it can last, if the one who casts it has to stay close so I may have it work different from canon lol
Severus spread out his text books around him and took out a notebook. Studying for N.E.W.T.'s was exhausting and he looked forward to getting them over with. He usually would study in the library but it was full of seventh years scrambling to study, most only just starting to cram for the exams. They weren't quiet either, moaning or muttering to themselves as they struggled to review. Plus, Potter, Black and the other two idiots they hung out with were there and he tried to avoid them at all costs.
"Mind if I join you?" A soft voice asked.
Severus looked up and into the beautiful eyes of Lily Evans. His best friend since childhood, until he ruined it his fifth year by calling her a mudblood in a moment of anger. He'd apologized several times since then and slowly their friendship seemed to be healing. "Of course."
Lily plopped down and took her charms book out of her bag. "Merlin, I'll be glad when these exams are over." She said with a sigh. "Just the thought of them gives me a headache."
Severus nodded in agreement. "So are you out here to get away from all the late starters in the library?"
"Yeah, I can't believe some of our classmates are only just beginning to prepare. I started months ago." Lily said.
"Me too. I saw some of the Hufflepuffs in tears." Severus rolled his eyes.
Severus stared at his notes. He wanted to ask her if she was dating Potter. He'd heard rumors... "So, what are your plans after school?" He asked casually.
"I don't know yet," Lily admitted. "I'm still deciding on what I want to do. I thought about getting a job in the Ministry but I don't know. I thought about working with healing potions, maybe trying to make them stronger."
"You can work at my apothecary," Severus offered. "Well, if I'm able to open one."
"I bet you will. You've always been amazing with potions." Lily said sincerely.
Severus felt his heart quicken at the compliment. "Thank you."
Lily smiled at him.
"Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Sure. What is it?" Lily asked curiously as she spread her books around her.
"Are you and Potter a couple?"
Lily looked at him thoughtfully. "Would you stop being my friend if we were?" She asked.
Severus paused and shook his head. "No." He said softly. "I would never stop being your friend." He would hate it, her being with Potter. Her being with someone who wasn't him hurt but he wanted her to be happy. Even if meant being with someone he hated.
"Good to know," Lily slowly smiled. "And no, I'm not dating James. Or anyone else, for that matter."
"You're not?" Severus asked in surprise.
Lily shook her head, her red hair tumbling over her shoulders.
"James has asked me out a few times," Lily admitted. "But I just don't see him that way. I see him as a friend only."
"Oh," Severus said, relief filling him. She deserved better than Potter. She deserved someone who would do anything to make sure she was happy. Always.
"I have wondered about going out with someone else," Lily continued. "But I don't know if he would be interested."
"Only a fool wouldn't be interested." Severus scoffed.
"And you're not a fool, right?" Lily teased.
"Of course, I'm not – wait. Me?" Severus stared at her.
Lily's smile faltered. "Only if you want to."
Lily was asking him out? Him? "Of course, I want to. I've always..." Severus took her hand. "I've always wanted to. I just thought you would never want to after fifth year."
"Sev," Lily said exasperatedly. "I forgave you that long ago. I know you never meant it, that you were just..."
"Humiliated? Still, no excuse for me to call you that foul word." Severus scowled as he remembered that horrible day. Being completely humiliated by Potter and Black in front of the whole school and then calling Lily that word, seeing the hurt on her face. She had tried defending him and he had turned on her.
Lily ran her hand over the grass. "Are you – I mean, I know some of the seventh-year Slytherins are death eaters... Are you going to be one?" She looked up at him.
"No. Lucius has tried to convince me to join. Apparently, I'm wanted for my potions skills." Severus shook his head. "I declined. I don't want to join. Honestly, I never did. I just wanted to feel I belong somewhere."
Lily nodded. "I can understand that." She said. She knew how neglected he had been growing up. "I'm proud of you for refusing to join them."
Severus offered her a small smile. "So tomorrow is a Hogsmeade day. Would like to spend the day together?"
Lily's eyes brightened. "I would love that."
"We should get back to studying, there's a lot to go over." Severus picked up his Transfiguration book. "Want to study together?"
"Sure thing, Professor." Lily teased as she opened her notebook.
Severus groaned. "Yeah, that's never going to happen. Merlin, what a nightmare teaching would be."
Diagon Alley, 1979
Lily hummed to herself as she walked down the street in Diagon Alley. She couldn't believe the news she had received from the Healer. She was pregnant! Oh, she couldn't wait to tell Severus! He's going to be so excited, she thought happily. After their Hogsmeade trip in seventh year, they had spent all their time together. By the time they graduated, they were completely in love. They had married soon after and now they were going to have a child. They were young but Lily felt they were ready. She'd always dreamed of having a family of her own and she had no doubt he would be a great father. Strict but loving, protective, and fair, he would always make sure any child they had knew they were wanted and loved. Unlike how he had felt as a child. Severus had told her many times that if it wasn't for her, he would be an angry, bitter man. You changed my life, he would tell her. He had changed hers as well, she couldn't imagine being any happier than being married to him and pregnant with their first child.
I'll have to write about this wonderful day in my journal, Lily thought happily. Sev had gotten her a beautiful purple journal with green lettering when she had mentioned she used to keep a diary as a child.
Turning the corner, suddenly a cackling laugh froze Lily in her tracks.
"Well, well." Bellatrix Lestrange circled her, her crazy, dark eyes looking gleeful. "A mudblood."
Lily immediately reached for her wand. Everyone knew Bellatrix was insane and one of Voldemort's followers. "Back off, Bellatrix. There are people around who would notice if you killed me." She gestured toward the stores around them. The streets were fairly empty right now but people in the stores would notice a killing curse being performed. "Although, I figure you are headed to Azkaban one way or another." She added with a slight sneer.
Bellatrix laughed. "Never going to happen," She scoffed. "And I'm not here to kill you. Yet."
"Then what do you want?" Lily asked, keeping her wand steady.
"Severus. Or rather, the dark lord does."
Lily paled. "What?" She whispered. This is what she had feared, that Voldemort would get Severus to join him as Sev was known for being a genius at potions. Lucius Malfoy had already tried to recruit him during their seventh year and even after they had graduated.
"My master wants Severus to become a death eater. But he won't, not while he is with you. A muggle-born." Bellatrix said in distaste. "So he is giving you this one chance. Let Severus go. Break his heart so that he will turn to us."
"Never," Lily said defiantly.
"Then he will die and so will you," Bellatrix said with a slow, cruel smile. "Personally, that is my preference. And my master has said if it comes to that, I get to kill you."
Lily froze, thinking of the unborn baby she was carrying. She had to protect their child. "He won't join you." She said firmly. "He has the life he wants. With me."
"Leave him. Tell him you want to be married to his schoolboy enemy instead. What's his name...Potter." Bellatrix smiled slowly. "That would crush him, wouldn't it?"
"I won't do it," Lily said, shaking her head. There was no way she could do that to Severus. If she could just get away from Bellatrix, she could go to Albus for help.
"Oh, you will," Bellatrix smirked, taking a quick look around before focusing back on Lily. "Imperious!"
At a small, cozy cottage Severus looked up from the newspaper when Lily flooed through. "Hello, my Lily flower. You're later than I thought you would be." He frowned when she just stared at him and stood up. "What's wrong?" He asked in concern.
"I'm leaving you," Lily said bluntly.
"Wh – what?" Severus stared at her. Did she say what he thought she had said?
"I can't deny my feelings any longer. I'm in love with someone else" Lily said flatly. She showed no emotion at the devastated look on her husband's face.
"What?" Severus whispered.
"I'm in love with James Potter." She stared at him evenly.
Severus felt like someone had punched him in the chest. "No." He croaked. This had to be a nightmare, this couldn't be happening.
"I'm sorry, Severus. I've tried to fight it but he's the man I want." Lily continued. "I've been unhappy long enough."
"Unhappy with me?" Severus couldn't believe it. Lily loved him! But the small insecurity that one day she would realize that she could do better than him grew. Hadn't he always feared, on some level that Lily would regret settling for him? He had always known he wasn't good enough for her.
"I hope we can still be friends." Lily continued.
"Do you?" Slow, cold fury began to swirl inside of him, clouding any reasonable thought about why Lily was acting so strange. Hurt and anger filled him as he stared at the woman who was breaking his heart.
"Of course. I still care for you. And I'm sure James would like to be friends too." She offered.
"I hate James Potter!" Severus spat. "And I hate you too!" He said spitefully.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Lily said as she moved past him. "I'm going to pack my things. I'm meeting James later to tell him that I love him and want to be with him."
"Maybe he won't want you," Severus said snidely.
Lily paused and glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. "James has always wanted me. Perhaps that is why you did."
"How dare you say that!" Severus shouted. He had loved her since they had met as children.
Lily shook her head. "I'll start the divorce proceedings immediately. Goodbye, Severus."
Godric's Hollow, 1980
By the time Lily was able to break free from the Imperius Curse, it was too late. She had divorced Severus and married James Potter and Severus had joined the Death Eaters.
"You were under the Imperius Curse?" James asked weakly after Lily confessed. He had hoped it was real, Lily loving him. He had wanted that since fifth year. "So the baby -"
"Is Severus's. I found out I was pregnant right before Bellatrix cornered me." Lily said, her hand on her rounded stomach. "I have to tell Severus!" She cried. She could remember saying all those horrible things to Sev but being unable to stop herself. Oh, how she had hurt him. And now he was a death eater!
"You can't! He's a death eater now, Lily. If he doesn't kill you before you can even manage to talk to him, Voldemort will!" James protested. "Or Bellatrix will. It's not safe."
"Then what am I supposed to do?" Lily asked tearfully.
James rubbed a hand over his face. "You have to wait until the Order destroys Voldemort."
"But that could take a long time. He needs to know the truth." Lily rubbed her belly. "He deserves to know he's going to be a father." She noticed the hurt expression on James face. "Oh, James. I'm so sorry. You're a victim of this too. Blast that Bellatrix Lestrange!" She seethed.
"It's not your fault." James sighed. "I thought it was weird, and so sudden when you came to me but I was just so happy to think you were in love with me." He felt so pathetic, he should have realized something was off.
"I'm so sorry." Lily felt horrible. James had been wonderful to her. "I do care for you, very much."
"I know," James said softly. She cared for him but wasn't in love with him. "I'm in this with you, Lily. I'll take care of you and the baby. But until Voldemort is gone, you have to stay away from Snape."
"It's my fault he's a death eater," Lily whispered.
"No." James said firmly. "I get it. Bellatrix made you really hurt him, devastate him. But you didn't force him to join the death eaters. He made that decision on his own. Not everyone who gets their heart broken joins Voldemort."
"Still, he deserves to know the truth." Lily said. "He needs to know he is going to be a father."
"Yes. Once Voldemort is destroyed. The Order is getting close." James said confidently.
Spinner's End, 1981
Severus, alone in his home at Spinner's End, stared in shock at the faded mark on his arm. Had the Order done it? Had they finally killed that monster? He desperately hoped so, he wanted to be free from that creature. He had been such a fool to let his hurt and anger lead him to join the dark lord. He'd regretted it almost immediately.
His floo flared and Dumbledore stepped out of the green flames. "Severus."
Severus looked up at him, at the incredibly sad look in Dumbledore's eyes. "What's happened?" Fear pierced his heart. Lily...
"Voldemort found the Potters. He killed Lily and James."
Severus collapsed into his chair, grief filling him. Despite how Lily had broken his heart, he still loved her. He had wanted to save her. "Her child?" He asked finally.
"Survived. He has a scar on his forehead from the killing curse rebounding but otherwise, physically fine." He smiled sadly. "He has Lily's eyes."
Severus shut his eyes.
"I fear that although Voldemort appears to be gone, his followers will try to harm the boy. When he begins Hogwarts, will you help me protect him?" Dumbledore asked.
No! Severus wanted to spat. Why should he? Lily had left him, broken him, for his enemy James Potter! She obviously had never loved him at all...but he owed Dumbledore. For taking him back after he had joined the death eaters. "Fine. But I won't be nice about it." He said bluntly.
Dumbledore chuckled. "Fair enough. Thank you, Severus."