Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs

Fanfic by Steven Biggs

Chapter Eight – Did You See What Su Saw?

Wednesday Night.

After dinner, Keiko sits at the kotatsu table in his room. Su kneels at the other side of the table with her head bowed.

"I'm sorry Manager-lady! I promise not to sneaky peak at your stuff anymore while ya is gone. Please don'ts kick me outta Hinata-sou.!"

Keiko sighs.

"I am not planning to evict you because of this Su-chan. You are forgiven."

She looks at Keiko and smiles.

"Ya is a real sport, Manager-lady! If there's anythingy that I cans do for ya, just let me know!"

The girl from Molmol leaps to the window. With a quick wave, she disappears into the night. Keiko sighs again and prepares for bed. He places his padded bra and neck charm under the pillow in case he needs to don them quickly and then moves to the closet to change into his pajamas. As he places his under things on the shelf in the closet, Su swings back into the room.

"Hey Manager-lady! There's a question that I . . ."

Su stares at him for a few seconds and her face slowly blushes bright red. She points a finger at the manager.

"Whoa! Something new has been added! Does Motoko know about that?"

Keiko quickly pulls out a towel and wraps it around himself.

"S-s-s-s-su-chan! What are y-y-you doing here?"

Su's eyes go wide.


He holds out a hand and shakes his head. Su leaps over and wraps her legs around his neck.

"Ya came back to play with me Keitaro! I'm the luckiest person in the world!"

Jumping back to the floor, she circles around him quickly three times and scratches her head.

"But whatcha doing dressed up all girly like with a wig and all?"

She slides to her knees in front of him and tilts her head sideways.

"Ya aint really one of 'them', is ya?"

At that moment, Motoko slides open the door.

"Urashima, I need to tell you . . ."

Keitaro's mouth drops open.

"Motoko. This isn't what it looks like!"

Su blushes again and beams at the swordmaster.

"Ya shoulda seen what I gots a really good look at!"

Motoko's eyes grow cold as Su continues.

"It kinda makes ya think of an elephant's nose!"

Keitaro kneels and places his hand over Su's mouth.

"It was an accident! I swear it was!"


The young girl from Molmol leaps onto the kotatsu table.

"Ya shoulda seen it when I mentioned your name, Motoko! The flag was flyin' high!"

Keitaro waves his hands in a desperate attempt to convince the swordmaster of his innocence.

"It wasn't like that at all, Motoko-chan! You got to believe me!"

His towel chooses that moment to fall to the floor. Motoko looks downwards. Su stands up straight, whistles, and salutes.

"Right back at ya, sailor!"

Keitaro whimpers.

"Oh no!"

Enveloped in rage, Motoko's hair lifts as she summons her chi. The air inside the room begins to swirl about and flames leap from her eyes. The swordmaster rises a meter into the air and begins her chant.

"Unfaithful deceiver! Shinmei-ryo no Messatsu Zanku Zanmasen! GOD'S CRY ATTACK OF THE DEMON SLASHING WIND!"

The roar is deafening as the power from her blade hurls outwards. Su dives for cover under the table as Keitaro's desk is lifted and thrown towards the far end of the room. Clothing, floor mats, Keitaro, a futon, and various other items spin in a wild maelstrom lit with bluish tendrils of Motoko's chi. The manager succeeds in grasping a rafter for a moment and the vortex pulls his wig off. Loosing his grip, he spins wildly until his body crashes into and through the far wall.

After the blast subsides, Su looks out from her hiding place.

"Whoa! I didn't know thatcha had it in ya, stick waving momma! Ya punched a hole clear through the whole side of the inn!"

She looks up at Motoko.

"Why'd ya hit him for? I thought that ya was getting along with our new Manager-lady, uh, I mean Keitaro."

Motoko lightly settles back to the floor, sighs, and opens her eyes. They widen as she observes the destruction her ultimate technique caused.

"Spirits! I, I did not mean to use such force! What is it that I have done?"

She leaps over the debris and stands before the ragged opening in the wall of Keitaro's room.

"Keitaro, are you there? Can you hear me?"

A few walls down, Shinobu peaks through the hole in her room's wall.

"Aaauuuuu! What happened?"

Scanning the hole with her eyes, she spots something and picks it up.

"What's this? It looks like the manager's hair."

The young cook immediately drops it and faints.

"Y-y-y-you scalped her! Aaauuuuu!"

Motoko, followed closely by Su, climbs through all of the holes until they reach the outside wall of the inn. They look down to the ground and see a pile of broken boards, lamps, clothes and other articles. Su points to an object partially buried at the left side of the mound.

"I think I sees him! Come out come out wherevers ya is!"

Keitaro is lying on his side with his back to the inn. Su leaps down, hops over him, and kneels to the ground. She moves a board off of him and stares. A smile crosses her lips as she reaches down and lifts a firm, slightly curved object that is about twenty centimeters long over her head.

"Hey, Motoko! Looky what I found!"

The swordmaster stares for a moment and then faints.

"Spirits no!"

Su shrugs and then peels the banana.

"She must still be full from dinner! These sure is good eating! Bananas made me what I am today!"

After a few minutes, Motoko recovers and they carry the manager up to the swordmaster's room. Su watches as she wraps him in a robe and places his wig and charm back on. She stares intently at the young inventor.

"You must not speak of this to anyone, Su. It is of the utmost importance that Urashims's identity remain a secret. Do you understand?"

Su tilts her head.

"What's the big deal? That's only Keitaro. He can play with me again!"

Flames leap from Motoko's eyes. With a skittering sound, she crawls over to Su and whispers in her ear.

"If you say even just one word to any living soul, I shall inform Naru-sempai of what you did with her Liddo-kun doll last month!"

Sweat pours from Su's temples.

"Absitively I won't say anything to somebody! Not a word! I swears it! Cross my heart and I swears it on girl scout cookies honor! Ya betcha!"

Su sits back on her heels and smiles.

"So, what was it like? Did it taste like lemon? Was it soft like a marshmallow?"

"Su, what in the world are you talking about?"

"Ya's kiss with Keitaro."

Motoko touches her left cheek with two fingers.

"Hmm, it was like firm tofu and maybe a little salty. Also, it . . . SU!"

The young girl has her lips planted firmly against Keiko's. As Motoko pulls her away, there is a sucking and popping sound.

"Su, what in the name of the spirits are you doing?"

She runs her tongue across her lips a few times and tilts her head.

"Kinda strawberry-ish, I thinks! It must be the lipstick! Ya has gots to try it!"

Su grabs Motoko's head and pushes her against Keiko, forcing their lips together. The swordmaster's eyes glaze over and slowly close. Su grins and leaps out the window.

"I bet that would go good with a banana! I'll be back in a jiffy pop!"

At that moment, the door to her room slides open. Naru, Kitsune and Mutsumi, holding shopping bags, step inside. Naru waves her hand.

"Motoko-san! What happened to the walls? Did you . . ."

Kitsune rubs her chin and grins like a maniac.

"I've just gotta get me some of that action!"

Mutsumi claps her hands together.

"Oh my, that looks really fun! Can we join you?"

Naru drops her jaw and bags.

"M-m-m-motoko-san! Wh-wh-what are you . . Why are y-y-you . . . When d-d-did you . . . ?"

She leaps over and roughly pulls her off Keiko.

"Get your lips off of Keitaro!"

A few minutes later, the women sit in the common room. Motoko leans forward.

"Naru-sempai, how long have you known that it was Urashima?"

Naru sips some tea and looks at the stairs.

"I knew it was him from the first. That was such a lousy disguise. And besides, do you remember that dress he wore the first day he came here as Keiko? Well, it was an old one of mine."

She looks back to Motoko and scowls.

"It really pisses me off that he looks better in it then I did."

Naru sets her glass down and folds her arms.

"Don't tell me that all of you were fooled by that stupid costume!"

Mutsumi smiles and raises her hand.

"I knew he wasn't a woman."

Naru shakes her head.

"You don't count."

Motoko blushes.

"I admit that it fooled me for about a day."

Kitsune gulps down a shot of sake.

"It took me a little longer. What about you, Su?"

"I just got the show a little whiles ago."

Motoko looks around.

"Where is Maehara-san"


They rush upstairs to Motoko's room. Shinobu is standing on top of the kotatsu table and holding her hands to her mouth. Naru rushes over.

"Shinobu, what's wrong?"

"I, I came up here when I woke up since the manager wasn't in her room. I found her sleeping here and, and . . ."

Kitsune places a hand on the young cook's shoulder.

"And what?"

"Well, something was making her robe, p-poke up. I opened it to see if sh-she was okay and, and . . . Aaauuuuu! She really is one of those!"

Su jumps over and tugs at Shinobu's shirt.

"Don't it make ya wanna go to the circus? Elephants on parade are neat!"

"But, but, but . . ."

Naru sighs.

"Don't worry Shinobu-chan. There isn't anything wrong with her. That's really Keitaro."

Too quickly to even utter a sound. Shinobu faints.

Motoko lifts the girl and motions to the door, heading back to the common room. After a few seconds, Naru returns and drags Kitsune away from Keitaro's sleeping form.

"Stop peeking, Kitsune! Who do you think you are, Keitaro?"

Back in the common room, they waken Shinobu and discuss the revelations of the evening. Motoko bows her head.

"Will he be forced to leave once more? I promised him that he could count on my support and it would be most sad to see Keitaro fail after the effort he went through to prove himself."

Kitsune smiles like a cat.

"He aint failed yet! But, we can't let an opportunity like this slip past us. Motoko, ya'll has got to agree with this plan or Keitaro is outta here."

The swordmaster nods her head.

"I will defer to anything that you suggest Konno-san, as long as you will allow him to remain. What is your plan?"

Kitsune leans back on the couch and crosses one leg over the other as she swirls her sake glass.

"Ya'll are gonna love this! Kitsune is such a bad girl!"

End of Chapter Eight.