Arguments (1/1)

Author: kitty72885

Rating: PG
Category: Pointless fluff

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They all belong to DPB. I'm just having a little fun with them.

Author's Notes: Okay, I wanted to escape all the angst I've been reading (and writing) lately. I've also wanted to try this story format for a while--so here you go!

AN2: I suppose I should clarify this. This fic was an exercise to see if I could tell a story using dialogue only--no taglines, no setting description (well, besides the time stamps). This was done purposely--it was not a mistake.

Summary: Two friends, a fight, and a bet.


Wednesday, 25 December 2002
1400 EST
Roberts Residence
Arlington, Virginia

"Your Marine green butt is going down, Mac!"

"I don't think so! I could take you blindfolded and with one hand tied behind my back!"

"Oh, really? Want to put a little wager on that?"

"Like what?"

"Like... if I win, dinner at the place of my choice."

"What; you too scared to try a Marine's cooking?"

"Damn straight!"

"Oh, I'll get you for that, sailor!"

"I'm sure you will. We going to start or what?"

"Not yet--what are the ROEs?"

"Let's see... hey, Bud!"

"Yes, sir?"

"We need a mediator. Want the job?"

"Um, no, thanks, sir. I'm helping AJ set up his new game. He loves it, by the way."

"I'm glad, Bud. Do you think Harriet would help?"

"I think she's doing something in the kitchen. I wouldn't disturb her if I were you."

"You need some help, Commander?"

"Uh, yes, sir. Mac here insists that she could, quote, 'take me blindfolded and with one hand tied behind her back,' unquote. I plan on proving her wrong."

"I'm going to have to side with Mac here. You're going to lose, Harm."

"Thanks, Meredith. Would you two be willing to referee for us?"

"Certainly, Colonel. This should be entertaining."

"Oh, this is going to be fun! Have you two figured out the rules yet?"

"No, we were just about to do that."

"Well, what do you say to a fifteen-minute match? The one with the most hits wins."

"Sounds good to me. But we still haven't figured out what my winnings are going to be. How about... when you lose, you have to sing a song of my choice, in the vicinity of my choice?"

"Fine. Just get ready to lose, jarhead."

"Oh, I don't think so, squid. You are going to eat snow."

"We'll see. Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go!"

"Do those two ever stop arguing?"

"Like I said... they are in dire need of couples' counseling."

"Come on--we'd better make sure they don't kill each other."



1430 EST

"Time's up!"

"So... who... won?"

"Well, considering the fact that the Commander is currently on his back in the snow, and you're upright, I'd have to say it's you, Colonel."

"Thank... you... sir."

"Oh, don't thank me yet, Mac."

"Sir? ... Aaah! Why, you... Harm, you'd better start running, because when I catch you, you'll wish you'd never been born!"

"I already do! Beaten by a jarhead, of all people!"

"I warned you, didn't I?"

"Oomph! That you did. I just didn't think..."

"You never do, Harm."

"Har, har, very funny... you're not going to hold me to that bet, are you?"

"You're joking, right? Of course I am! Did you think I'd let you get away with besmirching the name of the Corps? Tomorrow, 1100 hours, the JAG Ops bullpen. You'd better show up."

"Aye, aye, ma'am. Now can we get out of this snow? My back is all wet."

"Your front is all wet, too."

"C'mon, Mac, I'm getting cold."

"Aw, poor baby. Okay, let's go in--hey! What was that for?"

"What goes around comes around, Marine."

"How about what goes up, must come down?"

"Great... now I'm completely soaked."

"You just noticed that? All those emergency landings must be numbing your nerves."

"It's this damn snow that's making me numb. Can we go in now? I really need to change."

"All right, children, let's go inside before you two get colds."

"Aye, sir."

"Yes, sir."

"So--who won?"

"Mac did!"

"Oh, Harm, don't give Meredith that look. Come on, you--we'd better get changed. I don't think Harriet wants us to drip on her carpet."

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am."

"Commander..."

"Sorry, sir."



Thursday, 26 December 2002
1100 EST
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia

"Attention on deck!"

"Thank you, Petty Officer. Ladies and gentlemen, I believe that Commander Rabb has something that he'd like to say."

"Well, not say, exactly..."

"Come on, Harm, stop stalling."

"Get on with it, Commander."

"From the halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Tripoli..."