Title: The Evening Speaks

Chapter: Those Are Condoms, Cinderella

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Gilmore Girls, or Something Corporate Hurricane. Or Shakespeare and Twain.

Summary: From time to time, everyone has thoughts about "what might have been". They're living it. A different approach to Keg! Max! and the events that follow it.

Dedications: Elise, for being the most awesome beta ever. For Lauren, the most awesome almost-roommate ever. For Kat, cause she's just the best girl I know. And Kait, for being Kait, and being so cool ;)


I think I'm on the edge/
Of something new with you/
Shout out don't drown the sound/
I'll drown you out/
You'll never scream so loud/
As I want to scream with you.

            The breakfast and four cups of coffee she had set up had probably been overkill. If they weren't, then the Bangles CD Rory had put in definitely was. But she had never told her mother anything like this before, and she had promised to tell her mother should the event occur (technically before the event, but that had been quite impossible since she hadn't really known the event was going to occur until it was occurring, and at the time she hadn't exactly been thinking of her mother). So if she was going to do it, it was better to keep the caffeine and food flowing to at least keep her mother in a semblance of a good mood. Hopefully good enough so she wouldn't grab an umbrella and beat Jess with it. Maybe she was over reacting. She hoped she was over reacting.

            Lorelai came down the stairs and into the kitchen, and she rubbed her eyes. "Is it my birthday?"

            Rory shook her head, "No."

            "Am I still dreaming?" Her mother asked, eyeing the plates of Luke's Diner food and cups of coffee set up.


            Lorelai gasped, "You killed someone!"

            "Again, no," Rory fidgeted; there was really no easy way to go about this. Except, of course, to wait until her mother had at least had a sip of coffee.

            "Sweetie, you have to tell Mommy what you did wrong," Lorelai told her as she sat down in front of the food. "So I can know whether or not Luke's food will forever be tainted."

            "I didn't do anything wrong," Rory hedged, sitting down in a chair, and pushing her own breakfast around with a fork.

            "Okay then," Lorelai scooped up a forkful of eggs.

            "Just…at the party last night…."

            "The cop raided one?" Her mother interrupted.

            "That one," she pushed her eggs on top of her pancakes. "Well, you said you wanted to know…"

            "About the cop raided party?" Lorelai interrupted again, "of course, it sounds exciting. Did they book you, Danno?"

            "No, it's not about the party," and then she inwardly winced. It was about the party, but not about the party.

            Her fork stopped midway on its trip to her mouth. "Okay, you're losing me here, Rory."

            "I mean, you said you wanted to know if…" Rory's voice trailed off, and she forced a shrug. "If me…a-and Jess…."

            Lorelai's fork dropped to her plate, and she pushed herself away from the table and stood up. "Oh my God, Luke's food is tainted."

            She forced herself to breathe, "What?"

            "You bought me Luke's food, so you could tell me…" Her mother's hands rested on her hips, as if she was trying to manipulate the situation at hand to mean something different. "I mean, you and Jess had sex. That's what you're trying to tell me, right?"

            As much as she hated to break her mother's last beacon of hope, but she nodded. "You said you wanted to know if…we, if I had sex. Right?"

            "Yes, I said that," Lorelai blinked. "So you guys had sex…at a keg party. You had sex at a keg party?"

            Rory inwardly cringed as nodded again.

            "I'm going to kill him."

            Rory reached out and grabbed her mother's hand, and pulled her back to the chair. "Please don't. I wanted…"

            Lorelai sighed, and trying to grasp hold of the situation, and not react like her mother. She never thought it'd be this much of a struggle. "You…used something, didn't you? Please tell me you used something."

            "He had a condom," her face flushed seriously as she used the word. "On him."

            "Oh. So he goes around carrying a condom on him?" Her nails were digging into the palm of her hand.

            "Please don't be mad," Rory pleaded quietly.

            "I'm not mad," Lorelai pulled her daughter to her, hugging her. "You're just growing up faster than I'd like."

            "I tried to freeze time," she offered. "It didn't work."

            She reluctantly let Rory go, "Too bad. Looks like we'll have to make an appointment with the doctor."

            Rory looked confused, "Why?"

            "You're eighteen, and…" Lorelai winced as she said the next words. "Sexually active. A gynecologist is sort of a must after that. For birth control pills and…condoms, because, no offense, I'm not trusting Jess in that department."

            She hadn't thought about…future endeavors. "Oh, I don't think we're… I mean, I hadn't thought of…"

            Lorelai had to laugh at that, she didn't mean to or want to but sometimes her daughter was so…naïve. Too bad she wasn't that way always. "Sweetie, did I forget to have the talk where sex isn't a one time thing?"

            Rory wasn't sure how to explain exactly what had gone on. Or, actually what was going on with Jess. "Jess acted weird afterwards."

            "Weird? As in I've got to get a shotgun out weird or a wow, he grew a new head kind of weird?"

            "He wasn't a jerk afterwards, he offered to walk me home and kissed me and all," she bit her lip, still unsure of how to explain. "I mean, he was acting weird beforehand too. Something's going on with him."

            "You didn't," Lorelai put a hand on her daughter's shoulder, "it wasn't because he was acting weird and you felt the need to, uh, comfort…"

            Rory shook her head vehemently, more than she met to, and her face flushed red once more. "No! I mean…"

            "Never mind, I understand." Unfortunately, she did. Lorelai stood up and kissed the top of her daughter's head. She walked up back towards her room. Maybe if she went to sleep, this would all prove to be a dream.


            It had been two days, Jess thought as the basketball swooshed through the net, since the party. One day since his father had made an appearance. And almost three days since he had had any sleep. He probably looked like shit, he'd know for sure if he had bothered to look in a mirror at all. Some things were better off not knowing. He looked off to the side to see Dave looking worse off than he did. A crooked tie, hair all messed up, and a look of total wonder and confusion on his face. He spotted Jess and walked over.

            Dave leaned against the Basketball pole. "Mrs. Kim reads Shakespeare. Did you know Mrs. Kim reads Shakespeare?"

            "Most people do," Jess pointed out, as he aimed and shot again.

            "'Let never day nor night unhallow'd pass, but still remember what the Lord hath done'," Dave quoted, with a bewildered shake of his head.

            "Henry VI?"

            That seemed to snap Dave out of his daze, "You knew that?"

            "Yeah," the ball bounced off the rim, and he let it roll off the court. "Like I said before, most read Shakespeare."

            "Next time someone quotes something to me," Dave walked away from the pole and onto the court. "I'm going straight to you first, instead of spending the entire night, reading the bible."

            "Aren't you trying to get on Mrs. Kim's good side?" Jess asked, wiping his brow with the sleeve of his shirt, and walking towards the hoop, where Dave was still standing.

            "Yeah," Dave paused, obviously confused. "Why?"

            "Well, it's just said that, reading the bible is the cure for Christianity," Jess shrugged. "Somehow I think becoming a devout atheist won't help your suit any."

            Dave blinked, "Really?" He watched as Jess walked passed him. "They say that?"

            Jess turned around and walked backwards. "It's by Mark Twain. Just so you're not pulling another all nighter." He smirked, turned around and was gone.

            Huh, looked like Jess Mariano was more useful to have around than people realized.

To Be Continued…