Title: First Time
Warnings: spoiler, sap, light angst, lime, lemon, Duo's POV
Pairings: 1x2, 3 plus4, 5 plus S
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, I don't make money from fanfiction. I write only for fun and to get better at English.
Description: Duo thinks about his 'first time' with Heero. So what do you think you will read? This is my first lemon written in English, so please be nice with me. But I would really appreciate if you would tell me what you think.
Thanks to Helen for betareading and also for criticise the whole story especially the lemon, when I was unsure. hugs Helen
- Helen, because for writing me always such nice FB and for being such a nice person to me every morning when I wake up. And of course because for writing already three sequels to "A Voice, A Smile And A Wave".
- Sharon for being such a nice person for me and for having such a wonderful website dedicated to Heero and Duo full of wonderful stories, pictures and everything which my heart makes melting away.
-Ryouga for comforting me so much then I was so damn depressed the last time we spoke to each other before you went to USA. Your late reply to my pic made me also very happy.
- DCopper because it takes me forever to write you a mail. But it was so great to hear from you again after this long while. I write you back as soon as I can okay?
- Ponderosa thanks so much for the wonderful pic you drew for me. I love it as well as I love all you other wonderful work. Hopefully we will have some more time to write mails and chat on msn in the future, huh?
- Akuma because you are a nice and wonderful mail-friend for me and because you write all these wonderful 2x1 stories. Hope you don't mind that my own story is 1x2?
"..." - Speaking
Thinking - Thinking
Actually I didn't want to have my first time before I was married. I promised this to myself when I was young.
Of course, that had been when I was too innocent to know how mean teenage hormones can be. And also before I knew that I would fall in love with a boy. After all, I think I didn't promise it because of belief. I did it in remembrance to Sister Helen.
Once, so long ago, she told me that people often save themselves until the night of their marriage. I remember that I laughed about it. Guess I wasn't that innocent after all.
When Maxwell church was destroyed, I searched for many things to help me remember the people who died there. Sister Helen and the Father. I got used to braid my hair every morning. I wore clothes that looked like the priest uniform. And I swore, if I ever fall in love, I would save myself for this person until marriage.
However when I finally met the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I began to realize that it would be very difficult to hold on to the promise. I was a teenager and because of the war I did not have much time to care about my hormones. But when he was around me, they suddenly awoke.
At last I was lucky with my chosen one. I knew the person I loved was special. But I discovered his real grace when my desire and also my angst threatened to overwhelm me and I had to fear that I would break my promise. He didn't laugh when I told him about it; instead he tried to help me to keep it. That was when I realized how great Heero Yuy really was.
To tell the truth, I never really knew exactly when I fell in love with him. Somehow it happened. But for sure it wasn't the 'just look and my heart melts away' thing, you know? In the beginning he was only a strange impertinent bastard who stole replacement parts from MY Deathscythe. He didn't even listen when I talked to him and he didn't speak much. And he seemed to love to kill himself though somehow he always survived no matter what he did.
However, when we met the next time, I started to see him in a different light. I realized that he hid just as much as I did behind his stoic mask. I decided that I wanted to understand him, to know him better. And it seemed he thought the same of me. That was when we started to become friends.
And that was a short time before I was caught by OZ. I thought this would be the end even when Heero suddenly entered my cell. The determined look in his eyes spoke volumes. We both knew it was a high risk to save me. I was terribly injured and there shouldn't be any chance that OZ could gain any information from us. So the only way to prevent it was to kill me.
But surprisingly Heero couldn't kill me. Instead he saved my life. He brought me to a hospital. He stayed one week with me. Then he had to leave. This was when we had our first kiss. It was nothing special at all. It just happened.
He told me he had to leave and kissed me. I kissed him back and wished him good luck. Somehow, neither of us was surprised about the kiss. It was as if we had done it many times before.
It took some time before we met again after that. Days passed very slowly but at last both of us had time to think about what happened between us. I for one knew that I had fallen in love. And I confessed to him when we met again.
He told me he felt the same. That was when we shared our second kiss. This time we had a few days we could share with each other. And we used every second to be together. But during this time, I could feel that my desire for him started to grow. I didn't want to just kiss him. I wanted more.
Although in the beginning I wasn't ready at all to go through with it. He wasn't either. And again we both knew it. The last night before we had to separate again, we talked about it. I told him about the promise I gave myself. I also told him about Sister Helen, the Father, and the Maxwell church.
That night, he returned the trust I took in him and he told me about Odin Lowe. And he said he accepted my wish. He said we could wait. Heero was so strong. I admired him for his strength. I wasn't that strong. In the end, it was I who couldn't wait.
The desire started to grow, just like my fear of losing him. Every time we meet and had the chance to take a break from the war, we would sit together in a corner kissing, caressing and holding each other.
My hold of him became stronger every time. My need grew. My fear of never sharing the greatest pleasure with him grew. I wanted nobody but him to experience my first time with. I wanted only him to make love to. I wanted to know how it would feel.
But war meant death for so many. Heero and I also believed in never surviving the war. It was better to expect the worst than to hope too much and get a breakdown. We thought that we would never ever know how to live a normal life.
We were already surprised that we had survived to the time when the war seemed to come to an end. It happened two days before the last battle started, when I broke.
Heero and I shared a room on Peacemillion where we stayed. We talked about the last battle that would come soon. But suddenly I started to kiss him. I didn't want to talk about battle or the war. I just didn't want to think about it anymore.
We both felt this night would be different if we didn't stop the kissing and caressing. But I didn't stop. I forgot my promise.
But Heero didn't forget. He held me and asked what was wrong.
This night was the night I cried for the first time after long years. Heero hold me and tried to comfort me.
I told him I was afraid of losing him. That I was afraid I could die. That I wanted to make love to him. That I wished for him to make love to me. That all I wanted was us to be bound together heart, body and soul. I told him that everything I ever needed was him.
He held me, listened to my words and stroked my hair. He hugged me and rocked my body until I fell asleep. When I woke up again we were in a shuttle on the way to Earth.
Heero told me he arranged it. We would be back in a day and he made sure that nobody would miss us, even though he told no one that we were going to Earth. First I was startled. I didn't know what he had in mind.
But as soon as we were on Earth, I started to sense what his plan was. We headed to a very luxurious looking hotel and he booked a suite for two people for a night. After that he led me to a church. That was when I finally understood.
Heero asked me, in front of this little church, if I wanted to marry him. I was so startled but also so happy, more than I've ever been in my life. In this moment nothing else mattered anymore. It was just him and me. And he was asking if I wanted to marry him. I said yes. And cried for the second time, but this time, it was because of joy.
We went into the church to ask the priest if he could wed us. We had luck. He was very nice and it didn't matter to him that we were both boys. It wasn't like this in every church. Even to these days, it depended on the priests if you could also wed in a church when you were together with the same gender. However it was allowed, if the priest was willing to perform the ceremony.
Heero and I decided with the priest that the time when our vows were to be exchanged would be in the evening. This left us enough time to buy rings and the right suits. We didn't want to marry in the clothes we normally wore during the war. But because nobody would come to our wedding, we also didn't feel the need to buy a smoking. In the end we bought two nice shirt-blouses made of silk and two trousers that matched the shirts. One set of clothes in black, the other in white.
The next question was who was supposed to be the 'bride' and what would be our last name? It was obvious that both our last names were important to us. Heero's full name was given to him as a symbol of hope for a peaceful future. My last name was for remembrance of the place where I was loved. So the question was:
'Yuy-Maxwell', or 'Maxwell-Yuy'?
At last we decided to toss a coin. The loser would wear the white clothes as the bride and his last name would be at the end of the new full name.
I lost, but I didn't mind at all. I liked to be the bride of Heero Yuy. And it didn't matter that my last name would be 'Yuy-Maxwell' soon. The important thing was that we were going to be married soon and still both last names existed. Even more importantly was that Heero loved and cared for me so much that my heart in that moment felt as if it wanted to burst in happiness. And finally, we both felt like 'normal' people preparing for their marriage.
There was no war for the time being and neither of us wasted a second to think about the fact that we could be dead two days later.
After we got our clothes, the next stop was at the jewellery store to buy the rings. Paying them wouldn't be a problem. Our mentors gave us enough money when we went to earth for the first time. Okay, they probably didn't have 'wedding expenses' in their minds when they transferred us the money to a special account. But Heero and I never spent money for anything but for missions. So I guess spending it just once for ourselves would be okay.
When we stood in front of the jewellery, I had a sudden idea on what to use some of the money on. I asked him to give me my clothes and if he could buy the rings without me.
He looked confused but I just smiled secretly and requested that he should await me inside the church like every soon-to-be-husband would for his bride. He nodded his acceptation, still puzzled of course, and I left.
I saw Heero again two hours later inside the church, where he and the priest were waiting for me. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I felt like going to faint every second, especially when he turned around from the altar and laid his eyes on me for the first time after I entered.
My idea of an investment for our wedding was a visit at a hairdresser. No, I didn't cut my hair, hell no. But I asked her if she could make it into something good-looking for a wedding ceremony, not too feminine. Although the woman I asked seemed a little bit confused at first, I still think she did a really good job to me.
Because Heero looked as if he just saw a ghost. He was startled. And to get that kind of reaction out of Heero Yuy you have to do a lot. I smiled shyly at him and he greeted me, with a warm, proud smile on his face. His hands grabbed mine and drew me in front of the altar. Together with him.
He told me I looked breathtaking. I went red before I told him the same and that I loved him for being the way he was. We were at the edge of kissing, before the vows were exchanged. But the priest made a little noise and reminded us of his presence. So he started the ceremony.
While the priest spoke, we continued holding hands and looked into each other's eyes. We only vaguely heard what the priest was talking about. But when he asked Heero if he wanted to take me as his husband, he turned around and said a very clear YES. After his answer the priest asked me the same.
I took a very deep breath and gave the same answer as Heero. He smiled warmly at me. And the priest did too. He held out the rings Heero bought for us. They looked really nice. A simple gold band with a little coloured jewel in the middle. Blue was to be the colour of my ring. He slipped it on my finger with gentle hands.
His ring was with an amethyst coloured jewel. I took it from the priest's hands and slipped it on Heero's finger. He smiled warmly at me again. And I was on cloud nine. My stomach was full of little butterflies, leaving a strange but nice feeling inside my body. We barely noticed when the priest declared us as husband and husband, but we definitely did hear him when he said that we could kiss now.
Our lips met as soon as he ended the sentence. It was a soft little kiss. Just a meeting of our lips. We both knew more would come soon. We knew it so badly that our bodies began to tense. And we couldn't help but smile at each other.
After the end of the ceremony, we had to add our signings under the documents for the government. So our new names were kind of official now. He and I were Yuy-Maxwell from this moment on. This was as it was supposed to be. And I felt so happy I wanted to cry again.
But I didn't. Instead I took Heero's hand and squeezed it a little bit. He squeezed back and a small, warm smile bloomed onto his face. We thanked the priest for doing the ceremony. And then we left the church.
Although there was no one outside the church to greet us, be glad for us and celebrate, we both decided to have our own little celebration before heading back to the hotel. We went to a restaurant. It was a nice one with a various selection of Asian food. You could have Chinese, Taiwan or also some kind of Japanese meals.
Heero knew I like Chinese very much. He himself preferred Japanese food. So there was no better place to celebrate but this restaurant. And we had a great time. Sometimes I still can't believe how peaceful some parts of Earth were. In this little town, nobody seemed to be afraid. Nobody seemed to know that high above their heads there was an army of crazy soldiers who would be at each others throats soon. And some of them wished to destroy Earth. How come nobody seemed to care?
But eventually they did all the same as Heero and me. They tried not to think about it for as long as they had the chance to. And right now I could understand their decision. I could understand it very well although I also didn't like the idea of looking away forever. But this evening and this night, I wanted to be the same as all the other people here on Earth. I would not think about it. I would try to forget.
Just for one night, just for some hours to be with Heero alone and only thinking of nothing but him. I think he had the same in mind as me. His eyes told me, when I was distracted with negative thoughts for a moment and he started to worry. I smiled when I noticed the concern in his eyes. And I asked him to pay and leave for the hotel. He barely nodded.
The way back to the hotel was very different than any other way we had walked together before. Our nerves began to tense more than they had during the wedding. The butterflies in my stomach started to do flip-flops.
Yes, I was excited. And I was afraid. I think everyone would be if you know you will lose your virginity soon. And we both knew for sure it would happen. After all, it was one of the reasons why we married.
But you don't have to think Heero did it because he wanted sex from me. No, the idea of the decision was much deeper.
We married because we wanted something everyone could see. A visible proof that we were bound together. We married because we wanted to hear the promise of love said to each other while a third person was there, listening to it as well as we did. We married to reach the highest proof to our love we could have. And we did it on that day, without the other's knowing because we were soldiers in a dirty war and could die any and every day. We didn't have time to plan a big wedding party with guests, especially when we weren't sure if we could stay alive until the final day came.
But, another reason was that we wanted to feel each other in the way which made us complete at last. We wanted to melt into each other, our bodies to become one. We wanted to make love, to show in the highest way how much we loved each other.
And we were teenagers, deep in lust for each other and afraid that we never would get the release to our lust because of the war and because I was bound to the promise I made.
When we arrived at our hotel room he went right into the suite. But I stopped at the door frame. I was unsure though I would never tell him this. Then his questioning eyes met my own and I started to grin. I told him he forgot that the husband had to carry his bride over the threshold. It was only a joke meant to relax the atmosphere.
But he took it seriously, like he always did. Before I knew what was happening, he stood in front of me. One hand wounded gently around my waist and he lifted me from the ground to carry me through the door.
I didn't know if I should laugh because Heero took it too serious or cry because I was so damn touched. I decided for a third choice. I started to kiss him madly until he was forced to put me down to save his balance.
So, here we were, just married and all alone in a hotel room. Now, how should we take the next step?
He started to inspect the room. It was obviously not a cheap one. We had a bathroom next door, a living room, a bedroom, and a kitchen, although the last one was not necessary at all because we would leave with the morning sun.
My eyes wandered around a little more until they fell back to Heero. He had taken a seat on the large double bed and his eyes were fixed on mine.
I started to talk.
I always tend to talk when I am nervous. And he knew this. I talked about the suite and other unnecessary things until he called my name. His voice was sweet and calm, hiding his own nervousness.
And my voice died immediately as he addressed me. He stretched out a hand, his eyes silently asking me to come to him.
And I did. Step by step, like a shy animal inspecting his new owner, I went to the bed where he was waiting. When I arrived he took my hand and let himself fell on his back. He took me with him, placing my body above his own.
Somehow this was like, I don't know, as if someone blew my shyness away. Without warning we kissed and for a moment I forgot my nervousness about what would happen soon. The only thing which mattered was the feeling from his sweet lips, touching mine almost shyly.
It felt so good. Not that it was like this since the very first kiss because it wasn't. I am not saying that Heero was a bad kisser. But the experience had been missing. I had the same problem during our first kiss. Neither of us ever kissed before that day in the hospital. But after we came together, we had chances to learn from each other.
I taught him what was pleasuring me when he kissed and he showed me his own weak points. We grew a lot during that time. And now my body went hot every time his lips touched mine. Though I like to think he felt the same way.
He kissed me softly now, just touching of skin to skin. Slowly moving, feeling, tasting, lightly pressing. I cupped his face with one hand while my other laid on the bed beside his head for support. His hands dived into my hair, slowly wandering and massaging the skin.
It felt good, so good.
My hand on his face became restless and started to stroke his cheek. My middle finger went up and down. His mouth opened, a sign of his pleasure. My tongue accepted the invitation and got inside this all too well-known cavern to explore the sweet heaven.
Our tongues played for a little while lazily, both of us enjoying the soft caresses and the feeling of each other. I sighed in countenance into his mouth.
Suddenly Heero broke away. But when I was about to protest, he rolled us around and his sweet lips met mine again while his body was over me, pressing me deeper into the bed. Then he broke away again, just for a second before our lips hungrily met again.
I moaned, enjoying so much how his lips pressed, caressed, his tongue licking softly over my now trembling lips before entering and inviting my own tongue to dance with him.
I lost count of time. The only thing I noticed and felt was him kissing me, pressing his body against mine, his growling and the strange moaning sounds, which I barely recognized as my own.
After some time he rolled nearly his whole body from mine without breaking the kiss and lay to my left. My hands dived into his hair while his left hand started a journey from my neck down my body. Every inch of skin he touched, felt like burning. Hell, I felt already like I reached heaven. How should this all end?
As we broke our kiss again, Heero sat up. I did the same automatically. We stared at each other, my lips curled to a smile, our eyes both clouded with passion. His hands came to life again, touching my cheek as if I was a dream which he couldn't believe had come true.
I closed my eyes, bathing in the feeling of his hand on my cheek and whispered his name.
All that mattered was him. This moment, the feelings, heaven, it was all him. My mind started to stop working and I didn't care. My arms wound around his waist, pressing him as close as I could. All I wanted was to feel him, to know he was still there.
He was. His body pressed back, his face buried into my neck, kissing me there. Again a soft moan escaped my throat. I was so sensitive and he knew this. Heero liked it, liked to tease me, to watch as I started to tremble a little bit and listening to my moaning as if I was singing the most wonderful song he ever heard.
But then his hands, which had wandered over my body, suddenly stopped. I opened my eyes in confusion only to see the obvious question written in his eyes.
See? Heero cares. He cares about me because he loves me. This was one of those moments when I could see the fact so openly written in his face. The concern, the question if he should really go further, if this was what I wanted, that he wouldn't do it without my permission, that he wouldn't do anything which could hurt me, which I didn't want as much as he did.
My answer was nothing but a fiery kiss on his lips. The kiss was passionate this time, no more soft and sweet touching, no more slow dancing. Fire was starting to grow, heat could be felt in the whole room. It really was the beginning now.
He started to undress me. His hands wandered over my body again. He was hesitant. I giggled at the first touch on my naked skin. I think it sounded a bit shaky.
He was nervous. I was too. It was not only my first time, but his as well. And he was unsure what to do. He was afraid to do something wrong. Just like me.
But I wanted it, wanted him so badly. And he knew I wanted him as much as he wanted me. And we both wanted our first time to be the greatest thing we ever experienced. Because our first time could be our last.
So I kissed him, told him without words that everything was okay, that he should go on. Heero nodded, his hands caressing and exploring with feather-light touches my chest now. I shuddered from his touch before I sunk my nose into his neck and started to return the kisses he gave me earlier. I sucked on the sensitive skin and his head fell back to give me better access.
I used this invitation very well until I thought it was time to get rid of the shirt he still wore. His blouse went over his head, the way accompanied by my lips. I kissed his skin, tasted his body for the first time, licked quickly, just barely over his nipple and smiled when he growled about the teasing. I decided I did the right thing and he liked it.
Our next barrier for our sweet exploration turned out to be trousers and socks. I wanted to take care of my garments just after I'd been done with Heero's shirt, but his hands stopped my movements. He asked me for permission to undress me. His voice surprisingly unsure.
I just smiled and nodded. Leaning back comfortably I watched as his trembling hands started to unzip my trouser. My hips lifted up to help him getting rid of the garment. Next followed my shorts and socks.
Now here I was, all naked and his eyes took in his first view of me with nothing on at all. He swallowed hard but I think he liked what he saw. And that was exactly what he told me a second later. Although, I was very nervous now and wished nothing more than to go on, to be distracted from thinking, I gave him time to bathe in the view and to get used to it.
When I was somehow sure he was ready, I sat up again and he automatically lay down now, allowing me to undress him. And I can tell you, I was as nervous as he was during that process. But I succeeded and this time it was me who needed some time to get used to the view of the naked body.
Do I need to tell you that I liked what I saw? He was gorgeous. Of course I knew this before but he was not only gorgeous in his soul and while wearing clothes but also without. His chest was a little more muscular than mine, of course and his skin a little darker. His legs were thin but not too thin at all.
Just thinking of our first contact, just skin to skin made me shudder with excitement. And when Heero saw I was ready, he took my hand and made me lay down next to him. Carefully our hands started to caress the new unknown skin. Slowly we explored each other inch after inch. Our hands roamed over each others chest, sending jolts of pleasure through our bodies.
However I got impatient after a little while. I wanted to feel his whole body on mine. So I grabbed his hands and dragged him to me. He followed my silent instructions and carefully laid himself on my body.
The first contact of skin to skin, the first time our erections met. The feeling was breathtaking and we both let out a silent moan. I craned my neck, eagerly meeting his wonderful lips on half way. We kissed, like we had never kissed before. So passionately, so strong, so hot-blooded. We drunk from each other, moaning, enjoying. It was breathtaking.
It took us just some minutes before we started to sweat. My hips moved, somehow in perfect tact with his, our erections rubbing against each other.
I don't need to tell you, that I was almost fully erected. There had never been something that felt so good, so right before. And still, it was only the beginning, we both knew.
Heero was the first one who started some more action. His lips broke from mine and wandered along my neck down to my chest. There they made contact with my skin kissing every inch on their journey until they found one of my nipples.
He started to suck gently on it. I shuddered and a moan escaped my opened mouth. My eyes fell shut, I just wanted to feel every new sensation. Heat went through my veins like a thunder, ending at my now aching member.
His teeth took the first gently bite on my nipple. My back arched in response to the feeling and Heero started to wander again, repeating the action on my other nipple, which induced the same result.
I was shaking now with lust and need. His kisses trailed downwards searching for more sensitive spots and he reached my navel. His tongue teasingly slipped into the little hole licking it in the most lovely way I could think of.
I moaned his name now, pleading to go lower. He complied and his head reached my now fully erected cock. I felt his soft breath just millimetres away from contact and shuddered. Again my pleading words filled the room and the first touch of sweet, soft lips on my member followed.
I complained about the teasing but he didn't care this time. He kissed my cock again. Then his tongue took its first taste. Gently he licked on the top where I could feel the first precum escaping. I moaned.
And then he took me. Gently and slowly his mouth was filled by my aching member inch by inch. I wanted to scream because of the feeling. Hot, wet, good, so damn good. It was hard for me not to thrust into this heaven, but my mind told me I would hurt him if I did. So I fought hard to hold my thrusts and let him do the work.
His mouth, now closed over my member, started slowly to move up and down, his tongue licking my cock as if it was a very sweet lollipop. My breath came in short grasps while he did this. I felt a whole new sensation built up right under my navel. Heat filled me more and more and every movement of his wonderful mouth brought me near to the edge.
But I didn't want to end there, not before I was fully joined with Heero. I was afraid he would take me over the edge now. That was why I stopped him.
His head came up again, his eyes looking at me, asking what he did wrong. I just grabbed him and put him under my body. My action caused our members to touch again. I calmed him, I kissed him, I told him everything was as good asit had to be. That he nearly brought me over the edge.
However I wanted him, to feel him deep within me, although I was still afraid. Of course I didn't tell him this. But at least I knew he knew, because I also knew that he was unsure as well.
Instead I drank from his lips, managed our tongues to dance and tasted myself from him. Then I broke and wandered down his body, kissing his nipples, teasing them with my fingers. I wandered again on my search for his own sensitive areas, plunging my tongue into his navel, just like he did with me.
I continued the journey with my lips to his cock now. But I wasn't as patient as him with teasing. My body was screaming for release but still, before I wanted to please him the way he had pleased me. So I didn't tease but took him into my mouth with my first breath.
He moaned, his fingers pressing into my hair to prevent him from thrusting. I sucked, licked, caressed and moved my head up and down, the same way he did. The first precum came from the top of his cock and I licked it away with my tongue. But I was unsure how far he was, how near the edge.
Of course I didn't want him to come now, not now. So I let go of him. He moaned again, in disappointment this time. I couldn't help but grin. His passion clouded eyes started to sparkle, promising me a pleasurable torture for being so mean.
He reached out his hand and grabbed some wisps of my hair which forced me to lie down onto his body. I felt his fingers combing softly through my hair and then there was a little tug. He got rid of all the bracelets which were holding every strand of hair there it was supposed to be. His hands dug through my locks, until I felt every strand falling around my body.
He completely opened it, destroyed my hairstyle that the hairdresser made for the wedding and for which I spent a lot of money.
But who cared? The way he played with the loose strands, how he dived his hands through it, the feeling. Everything he did now was worth the destruction. Especially when he told me how beautiful I looked with my hair undone. I think I became glaring red but I thanked him with a deep kiss.
My action brought our thoughts back to our bodies which were both screaming with need. Our hands began to roam again. I tilted my head then he touched my nipples, stroking them in feather light touches.
I couldn't hold it much longer. I whispered his name. I begged.
Kiss me! Touch me! Feel me! Please me! Take me!
Let me feel you!
I don't know how much time passed since we started our lovemaking. For me, it felt like eternity. But now, after I spoke my last words, we arrived the most important part of this all. He and me both ready to join our bodies as a sign of pure love and trust.
His hand left the part of my body he just caressed, and tried to reach his trousers. But he didn't succeed until we sat up. He dived for some seconds into his pocket. When his hand came out again he held a little packet in it.It was some kind of lube.
I knew what it was for. Although neither of us had any experiences with lovemaking or sex, we started searching for information after we discovered our feelings for each other. Any time we had got, together or alone, we read in libraries or searched via computer. That was how we learned the performance of sex between two males.
Thus we both knew that lube would help us for our first time to be a little easier and without pain or at least without much.
I grabbed for the lube and opened it, my hands really trembling now. We were just about to perform the last step. Soon we would be one, body, heart and soul. But my nervousness returned. Would we do everything right? Up to now, everything had been great, both of us felt like we already reached heaven. I was afraid to do something wrong and destroy the whole atmosphere.
Heero seemed to notice my fearful thoughts because suddenly I felt hands, that trembled as badly as mine, curl around my own. He pulled me against his body keeping me close. I ended up sitting between his legs.
Trembling lips met trembling lips. Chests pressed together, we could feel our fast, excited and fearful heartbeats.
When we broke, he retracted the lube and coaxed some of the cool liquid on my hands. His eyes were fixed on me, told me silently that it was my choice to do what I wanted with the lube. I smiled and bent down a little to touch his cock.
He shivered when my fingers made contact with his proud erection, lovingly massaging the gel on his member until it was covered with it. Now it was my turn to take the lube and put something on his hand. Then I laid it beside the bed and allowed him to move me lying on my back.
He kissed my chest, stroking absently with one hand over my member. Some strange sounds escaped my still trembling lips and I arched my back at the touch.
Then I felt his other hand, searching hesitantly for my hidden opening. I sighed a little to calm down and spread my legs to allow him better access.
In the end his coated fingers found what they were looking for. I heard him when he took a last deep breath. Then, at the same time his lips met mine for another hungry and distracting kiss, his first finger entered my hidden entrance.
The feeling was everything beyond my imaginations. Not that great, at first, of course. But I also felt no pain. It was just unusual and strange. Also Heero was still hesitant. The feeling of something in me was gone nearly as soon as it came.
I called his name in protest. I wanted him back, wanted to feel this strange feeling again. To get used to it. I think he nodded and then his finger entered me again, going a little deeper this time.
Slowly, as both Heero and I got used to this whole new experience he quickened the speed little by little. My nervousness started to ebb away and I didn't mind nor felt unsure when he withdrew and suddenly entered my body again with two fingers this time.
We took much time to prepare my body. He was very careful, stroking my inner walls, filling my body with heat. Then, suddenly, his hands made contact with the special point deep inside me. I cried out when a thunder of fire ran through me and my body thrust against his fingers, pleading to hit that point again.
He did, again and again. Until I begged him to take me at last, that I was ready now.
His fingers soon left my body, leaving a surprising strange feeling of emptyness. I opened my clouded eyes and watched him positioning himself in front of my opening. I could feel how his whole body trembled, because of need and because of nervousness.
I spread my legs even wider now, silently inviting him to, what we both knew, would be heaven. One of my hands touched his erection and held it gently. My other grabbed his waist. His own hands lifted my body a little from the bed and together we made his hard cock enter the first space of my entrance.
I have to admit, I felt pain at first. But it was bearable. Heero wanted to leave my body immediately but I didn't allow him to. So he just held still for a moment before entering another inch. The pain was barely anything now for me. And after he slowly entered even more, it was suddenly gone. It only left the feeling of being filled.
Heero's cock was bigger than his two fingers were and my body enclosed him. I think it must have felt very tight for him. But his face told me he enjoyed the feeling of filling me and the first soft moan escaped his half parted lips.
My legs wound around his waist now, helping him to overcome the rest of the way into me until his balls made contact with my bottom. He was fully in me now. We were joined, one in body, heart and soul.
Both of us held still for a moment, getting used to the feeling which overflowed us and enjoying it. At last he bent down and we kissed, kissed deeply. Slowly he pulled back through my body until only the head of his erection was still within me. And also as slowly as he left he thrust back into me for the first time.
It was a strange feeling. His member thrust into me slow and gentle. Only when he was sure I felt no pain, but enjoyed it so far, only then did he allow his natural instincts to take control and teach us what we didn't know before.
His thrusts became secure now. He sped up a bit but held onto a steady rhythm where I soon joined him. My mind was far away now and pure instincts had overtaken me as they had him. I thrust back met his every move and soon we found our rhythm. Our bodies now danced together, still slowly though. I moaned his name. I heard him whisper my own name.
We were sweating now and his hot tongue licked some of the body liquid away from my very sensitive, left nipple. I arched my back to the touch and moaned his name even louder.
The feeling of him deep inside me, the way his member brushed against my inner walls. He made me crazy. My hands dived into his soft but wild hair and I sighed and moaned without a break now until his sweet lips claimed mine again, suppressing the sounds I made.
Then, he broke the kiss and went down to tease my neck. Every spot of my body seemed oversensitive now, because when I felt him sucking and lightly biting, my head fell back and I moaned louder than ever.
My hands left his hair to wander down to his hips. I caressed them while our bodies were still dancing. His thrusts became quicker and harder now. And I felt how his cock penetrated me even deeper with every move he made.
Then, I felt it. On the same second as his hot lips started to tease my right nipple, his member hit my sweet spot. Suddenly I saw stars. Everything I felt until now seemed to be out of all proportion to the feeling I experienced now. It overwhelmed me. It was more than pure heaven. This feeling was indescribable and I cried. I cried his name and started pleading him to go faster, to thrust harder. He moaned and complied.
My eyes opened when he hit my special point again. I wanted to see him. He looked even more beautiful in my eyes. His face and body were covered in sweat, his bangs hid part of his wonderful cobalt blue eyes which were clouded with passion and joy from our union. And when he hit my sweet spot again, his head felt back and he moaned my name loudly.
His voice was husky. It sounded so good. To hear his voice and have this high feeling of fulfilment and pleasure was too much for my body. I felt I couldn't stand the sweet torture he gave me much longer. I was about to fall over the edge.
Following a gut feeling I grabbed his head and guided his face to my lips for a soul-searing kiss. We moaned into each others mouths. One of my hands found its way to his and they entwined. Our tongues seemed to join the dancing of our bodies. They rubbed gently at each other, caressing, licking, arousing sparks to become full-fledged flames that consumed us.
Heero was near the edge too now. Somehow I felt it. He broke the kiss and his trembling hand wandered to touch my erection. He started to stroke it, hesitantly first, but soon his strokes joined the rhythm of our bodies. It was too much for me to bear. Five, six or ten strokes, I didn't know and didn't care. I reached completion, crying his name on top of my lungs, arching my back against his touch and spilling my seed all over his hand and my belly.
On the edge of my pleasure fogged mind I noticed my muscles grasping around Heero's cock as if I wanted to hold him inside me for dear life. It was too much for him. My name came over his lips in a shout and then he filled me, filled me with his warm liquid, marking me forever.
After reaching our orgasm, we both bathed a long time in the afterglow. Heero collapsed onto my chest. His member was still buried deep within me and I didn't mind at all. The feeling of being filled, filled with him was too wonderful.
We held each other while our minds slowly came back to life. The first thing I did, when I was ready to move again, was to kiss him softly on his sweet lips. He uttered a soft moan. Obviously he was very sensitive, especially in the afterglow. I could not resist but smile. Then we broke away and I thanked him.
Thanks for loving me, for caring about me, for being there for me, for marrying me, for making love to me, for being gentle with me, for being my first and for saving me from breaking my promise.
Heero didn't reply in words. He just smiled softly and kissed me gently on my lips. And even though I wasn't thrilled, he slowly pulled out of my entrance and left his wonderful, warm place by my side. He went to the bathroom, returning with a cloth to clean the mess we made. I helped him a little, although I felt very tired after this unbelievable and eventful day.
The whole day and also this night was like a dream for me. A dream that I wished would never end. But we knew that reality would reach us as soon as sunrise arrived. So we wanted to enjoy our last hours of peace. After we cleaned the mass, Heero returned to his place by my side. He looked as tired as I felt. I think I was the only one who ever saw that look on his face. He never would anybody else allowed to see behind his stoic soldier mask which he built up since childhood.
Just as I would never allow anyone else to see behind my mask. And certainly no one except Heero would see me cry. Heero was the only one who knew I have tears and that I can not always be cheerful. We understand each other. We both knew what the other feared and how much we hated the war we were forced to fight in. And we both knew our secret hope for a life together after the war. Still we didn't expect to survive the war, so we didn't talk about this hope. But we could felt it deep in our hearts.
I curled against his strong chest after he lay down again next to me and he wound his arms around my waist, holding me close. A smile crossed our faces when we had one last look at each other. We said good night and soon I drifted off to a deep, dreamless sleep.
We woke up exactly one hour before dawn. Both back in our soldier mode, we left the hotel very quickly. But still, we couldn't resist holding hands until we reached the shuttle that would take us back to Peacemillion. The shuttle that eventually would take us to our fate. A fate we hoped would not end up the worst.
Our friends didn't notice we were missing the whole night. And they also didn't know something was going on between us. Relena was the exact proof that they had no idea. She was still chasing Heero. Somehow I felt sorry for her. I knew she loved him but he would never love her back because he loved me.
Heero should tell her. But, we both knew it was not the right time to break her heart. We were in a war and we didn't need a heartbroken girl within our fight. Relena was important, important for freedom and peace. And to break her heart now, just when it seemed we would only have to fight for one last time, wouldn't be a good strategy.
Still, there was a small proof that could have told everyone something changed. Our rings. But nobody noticed them. And it wasn't because they were blind. No, Heero and I decided to hide them. We still wore them, but not on our fingers. We had them on a necklace now, the end hidden under our clothing. It hurt not to show the only thing which allowed us to feel a little happier. The obvious proof we were bounded together. But it was for the best. We had no time for questions, no time for sad friends or happy friends who wanted to celebrate with us.
I hoped they would understand later. This marriage was too important for us. It was necessary that we were alone, only him and me. I hoped that one daythey would forgive us and accept our decision. If there would be a chance to tell them at last. It was something Heero and I feared. That we would never be able to tell our friends about this day.
Thus the first day for us began, the first day as a married couple, who only hours ago experienced their first time together. And contrary to other couples we couldn't enjoy the memories or talk about it. We just got ready to fight our last battle.
And surprisingly in the end - we survived.
I never dared to believe it would happen and neither did Heero. But Heero and I are still alive. And the war is over. The future we secretly hoped for, but feared would never have, came true. We were offered the chance to live a peaceful life together. And we accepted the offer with open arms. We lived together, happily and we still do.
However, somehow it's funny. I mean, why am I thinking about our first time just now? I am not quite sure. Maybe it's because it is Quatre's wedding today. I can tell he is glowing with happiness. And I totally wish him every blessing. Trowa is a nice guy, although very quiet. But Heero isn't the talkative one either.
The wedding reminds me of my own. Still, nobody knows about our 'little' secret. But Heero and I decided to stop to hide during this wedding.
Still, I wonder about the reason why I think of my first time now. Maybe it's because Quatre admitted a few hours ago that he is still a virgin. He asked me if I could tell him a little about my first time. His face was of course all red while stuttering the question.
Funny, although no one knows that Heero and I are married, Quatre was very sure that we sleep with each other.
I wonder how he knows. Is it because the walls of the hotel room were a little too thin and Quatre slept his last night before the marriage alone next door to our room?
I mean, that would explain why he became deep red this morning when he noticed us leaving our room. I have to admit it doesn't matter if we make love or just have pretty good, rough sex, I'm always very vocal. Heero isn't. He is only vocal when we make love.
But both of us don't care if anybody hears. To be true we were slightly amused when we noticed Quatre going deep red. But we didn't have much time to enjoy the sight of an embarrassed Quatre. I had to help him getting ready for the wedding. Heero would help Trowa.
When I was alone with my best friend, he asked me about my first time. I told him a little while I made his hair. But I didn't mention the marriage before it happened or the where and when. And he didn't ask.
Now he is gone. Wufei takes care of him so I have enough time to change into my own clothes and get ready. I wear the same clothes I wore to my own weeding. Heero will wear his wedding clothes as well. It was luck that we were able to save them during the war, secretly looking forward to use them for such events like this one.
I also tried to style my hair the same way like that day, but I am not a hairdresser, so I gave it up. Instead I wear my hair unbound. I know Heero loves the way the strands fall and usually he starts to play with it, stroking and caressing softly the cascade of a brown waterfall.
So, I am ready to go. Only one thing is missing. The thing I am playing with at this very moment. It's the ring, my wedding ring. I took it off of the necklace. Because today is the day when Heero and I will wear the rings where they belong - on our right hands.
I take one final deep breath. I am nearly as nervous as on our wedding day. After I calmed a little, I step outside, just in time to meet Quatre with Wufei. Heero and I, as well as Wufei and Sally, are Quatre's and Trowa's best man. But Quatre asked me if I would accompany him to the church, the job which was originally supposed to be for his father or mother to perform. But they are dead and so are Trowa's parents. So it will be the part of my husband to accompany Trowa to the altar. I think they are already there, waiting for Quatre, Wufei and me to arrive.
When Quatre notices me, his face is glowing with joy. Wufei simply nods and gives me a slight smile.
"I will inform the others of your approaching arrival," he tells us and leaves Quatre and me alone. I smile at my blonde friend who looks very nervous now.
"Should we go?" I ask and offer him my right arm. He simply nods. It seems he lost the knowledge of how to speak. I can't blame him. Trowa is waiting for him and so are the many guests who want to congratulate them. It's his special day, the day which means everything in his young life. I can imagine exactly how he feels, because I didn't feel any different when I married Heero.
It takes us some minutes to arrive at the door of the church that is practically on the other side of the street from the hotel we are staying at. Two of Quatre's Maguanacs stand in front of the door, ready to open it for us. Quatre sends them a small, thankful smile.
And here they are. Trowa stands in front of the altar, waiting patiently for his lover to join him. And on his right, a little away from the attention is Heero, waiting for me. I guide Quatre to his soon-to-be husband. Before I leave him alone with his lover and the priest, I wish him good luck. Then I step aside to Heero, who greets me with a smile.
"You look as stunning as at the first time, Duo," he whispers in my ear and I blush.
"Thanks Hee-chan," I reply. He knows I like to tease him to distract his attention from my nervousness. He takes my hand and we sit down on our reserved seats.
As best man of the marrying couple we are supposed to sit at the front row of the church. Heero and I have the right side while Wufei and Sally sit on the left. The seats are old benches made of wood with high backs. They are perfect and will hide us well from the views of the other guests. Though, it doesn't matter much because every eye is on the marrying couple anyway.
Suddenly the whispering through the crowd ends and the priest begins to speak. First, my eyes watch Quatre and Trowa, who try to listen to the speech but are distracted by looking at each other. But soon my eyes wander to Heero, who seems to have only eyes for me. I smile at him, showing silently how happy I am. When the priest asks our two friends to exchange the rings, Heero shows me his own and puts it into my hand.
I watch for some seconds how the church light sparkles in the gold, but then I take his hand gently and put the ring on his ring-finger. After I am done, I give him my own ring. He takes it and puts it on my finger. We barely listen how the priest declares Quatre and Trowa as married now and gives them permission to kiss. Our lips already met then everyone in the church started to clap and to congratulate.
It doesn't take much longer and we are outside the church. The happy couple are encircled with guests. Every second Quatre and Trowa have to shake hands and thank someone for their congratulations.
When it's Heero's and my turn to congratulate, I jump Quatre from behind.
"All the best for you two," I exclaim and it's Trowa's turn to bear a big hug from me now. Heero isn't that enthusiastic, but he also gives the couple a light hug. Quatre laughs about me acting so wild and excited.
"Thanks, Heero, Duo," he says. "I hope you all will enjoy the party we planned for now. We saved a nice, big room in the hotel."
"Oh, don't worry," I reply laying an arm around Heero's waist. "We'll love it, because this is a great, special day."
I smile at Heero and he returns it. Quatre is obviously too happy to be confused about our actions, but Trowa notice something odd and lifts an eyebrow. I just twinkle secretly and Heero and I leave, hand around each others waist, to make room for the other guests to congratulate.
This is when Relena notices us. I feel the pressure around my waist tightening and he shoves me closer as an act of protection. Relena already knows that Heero doesn't love her. He told her just after the events with Mariemeia and she took it surprisingly calm. But he never told her who won his heart instead of her.
To our surprise, she shows us a smile as she reaches us.
"So, this is your oh so secret love, huh?" she asks obviously in a good mood. I decide it won't be a bad idea to try it from the joking side. So I grin wide and answer with a cheering voice in Heero's birth language:
"Watashi ha Heero no koibito de, Duo Maxwell desu. Dozo yoroshiku!" (1)
Relena chuckles and I feel the grip around my waist relax a bit.
"Duo no baka," she states, still laughing lightly. Of course she can speak Japanese too. After all she is a minister. She needs to speak more than one language.
"So," I continue, "are you enjoying the wedding so far, Relena-san?"
She can't help but giggle.
"Oh Duo, stop mocking me and call me 'Relena'. We are still friends, you know."
She becomes serious as she adds:
"By the way, it doesn't surprise me that you are Heero's chosen one, Duo."
I blink and exchange a surprised look with my mate.
"You two were very close during the war, you know? And then the war ended and Heero told me he wanted to stay with Duo, I knew there was something. That's why I wasn't that surprised when Heero told me he didn't love me."
"You knew?" Heero asks.
"I suspected," she admits, "but I didn't know for sure. But now you are acting pretty obvious, don't you think?"
I blush and Heero smiles.
"Thanks, Relena," he says.
"Hey, I am your friend, remember?" she exclaims and gives both of us a big hug. "Anyway as I said to Trowa and Quatre before, I wish you two the best in the world. And remember this comes from the heart."
She strokes over our hands to tell us she noticed the rings.
"Well, shall we go to the hotel, like the other guests?"
She doesn't ask 'how' or 'when'. She only wished us to become happy and changed the subject. I squeeze my lover's hand and we both know in this moment that we found a very dear friend in Relena. Far more a dear friend than we first thought she is.
Relena was right with her statement. Most of the guests are going to the other side of the street where the hotel is. Quatre and Trowa are also with them so Heero and I decide to go as well.
At the entrance to the hotel we are welcomed by a photographer. He takes photos of every guest who wants to enter the party room. Photos of couples and of families are taken.
I make out Wufei and Sally in the waiting line and succeed in dragging them to Heero, Relena and my place. Then it's our turn and the photographer takes a group photo of us. I am sorry that Trowa and Quatre can't join us in the photo too, but they are busy, directing the guests to their seats and speaking with the hotel staff.
As 'best man' of our friends, Heero, Wufei, Sally and I are supposed to sit on the right and left side next to the married couple. Relena takes a seat right next to Heero. I watch how the tables start to fill with guests and I cuddle a little with my husband for distraction. The waiters are busy with handing everyone a glass of champagne. Trowa and Quatre were instructed from one of the waitresses to sit down on their seats and enjoy their celebration while they continue their work of directing the people to their seats.
At last everyone is sitting at the dozen banquet tables now. Quatre and Trowa both stand up and Quatre lifts his glass to speak a little toast. Everyone's eyes are on the recently married couple. But the eyes of two of my best friends rest on Heero and me. We are holding our glasses like the other people, patiently waiting for the couple to speak so we can drink.
But Quatre doesn't say a word. Instead his eyes are glued to something he just noticed. It took a short exchange of glances from my mate and me to realize what the reason is that obviously took our Arabian friend by surprise. It was our hands. Our rings to be exact. The first guests start to get a little impatient.
"Since... when?" Quatre managed at last to get out. I smile and try to give him an apologizing look at the same time.
"Unofficial just before the last fight started," I calmly tell him, "but official as of today."
Some seconds pass and Heero and I both fear for how Quatre and also Trowa, who noticed our rings just after his husband, will take in this knowledge and if they are very angry. But suddenly the confused, surprised look vanishes from Quatre's face and he smiles, first a quick one to Trowa, then to us. I can tell it's a very understanding smile. And also Heero as well as I smile back, silently thanking him and Trowa for their understanding.
Quatre sends his husband a questioning look now and our other friend nods. He again faces the whole table and begins to speak.
"Today Trowa and I wanted to thank you for coming and celebrating our wedding with us. But now I wish to make my toast for the sake of another married couple. I congratulate you, Heero and Duo, and I wish you luck. May happiness be with you always from now on like you wished it for Trowa and me earlier."
Heero and I smile and try to ignore the shocked looks shot in our direction. We lift our glasses.
"Thanks Quatre, Trowa!" Heero says and we cheer. I look at my beloved husband and our eyes meet. His face shows a soft expression. His eyes sparkle with deep love and care for me. And a promise of something later on this night.
Maybe I am thinking of my first time today, because I know tonight will be the same like it was on that night - an incredible, wonderful dream which, at last, has come true for both of us.
(1)Means: I am the lover of Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell. Nice to meet you!