We made it to the end :')

Thank you to every single person who started this story and stayed till now. That means more to me than you'll ever know. I know it was a wild ride and I threw a lot at y'all. But for the loyal readers who kept the faith, this ending is for you.

Paige, Lizzie, and May—my constants with this. Thank you for sticking with me and offering your help along the way. I know I wouldn't have been able to finish it without your support. ILY.

So many other amazing gals helped in various degrees along the way—April, Tandee, Janelle, Pamela, Sarai, Rame, and Megan. Thank you for your friendship and guidance during this fic!

And I can't forget to thank the ladies on FB who kept the conversations going and entertained me endlessly with your comments. Y'all make this so fun!

I've been writing these two since Aug 2022 (!) so it's insanely bittersweet to say goodbye to them. I knew this story wasn't going to be easy to swallow, but I never expected this much interest, even if sometimes it was more rage than love lol. Still can't say it enough—thank you, thank you, thank you.

My focus will be finishing my WIP "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me." After that, who knows! Mwah.

64
- the way we wanted -

Edward

"Go wif you," Chloe, our three-year-old, says while I pack. "Go wif you, Daddy." Climbing onto the bed, she puts her stuffed fox named Bear into my suitcase. "Aw done!"

"That's all you need, huh?" I smile. "Just Bear? You travel light."

"I twavel wight," she echoes proudly. "Go on pwane now?"

I smile again but my chest aches. I hate to leave the kids, but Bell and I are due for some alone time, and celebrating our twentieth wedding anniversary is the perfect excuse for us to get away.

I sit on the bed and Chloe immediately climbs onto my lap, her sandy blonde hair falling out of her ponytail.

"You're staying here, baby," I remind her. "Aunt Allie and Uncle Jasper are flying all the way here from Seattle to stay with you. You're gonna have a blast, and I know Mimi and Papa will come over and hang out with y'all, too."

My folks bought a place a year after we did and in the same neighborhood, too. I knew I'd love having them close, but I wasn't sure about them being less than a minute away. Bella reassured me it'd be fine, and she was right. It's been a huge fucking help with three kids, and not dealing with Los Angeles traffic is a game-changer.

I hear my eight and six-year-old before I see them, which isn't necessarily a good thing.

"Stay little forever, Clo," I tease.

"I not littoh, Daddy. I a big girl," she insists, and yeah that kinda makes my chest hurt even more.

Evie and Miles run into the room, screaming.

"Give it back!" Evie yells, chasing her younger brother. "Daaaaaddy! He took my iPad!"

I set Clo on the bed and stand up, hooking an arm around Miles as he runs by, scooping him up.

"Not so fast," I warn, grabbing the device out of his hands and holding it out of reach.

"She wasn't even playing with it!" Miles pouts. "Why can't I use it when she isn't? It's not fair!"

"Because it's mine. I got it for my birthday, not you!" Evie tells him, narrowing her amber eyes.

"What's all the screaming for?" Bella asks lightly, walking out of the attached master bathroom, wearing a silk robe and towel-drying her hair.

I search her face, but I know I won't find her in the same state I left her in just twenty minutes ago. She was close to tears when she slipped into the bathroom to shower, but in front of our kids now, she's all smiles and Mom-mode.

I let go of Miles and he immediately rushes to Bella.

"Evie's being mean, Mommy," he whimpers.

"Am not!" Evie counters. "You didn't even ask to use my iPad. I would have said yes, but you're not respecting my belongings! Last time you used it, you left it on the floor."

"First of all, no one should be doing any tech time regardless of whose it is," Bella reminds them, tossing her towel on the chest at the foot of our bed. "You're leaving in twenty minutes and need to get ready for summer camp."

"Weddy poh summoh tamp," Chloe echoes, and I fight a smile.

Bella brushes Miles' chestnut hair away from his forehead and stares down at him.

"You gotta ask your sister next time if you want to use her device, okay? And put it back where it belongs when you're done." He pouts but nods before Bella focuses on Evie, her eyes soft for our firstborn but her tone serious. "But Evie, you can't always say no. Miles shares his stuff with you, too. All the time."

"But I don't care about his baby toys," Evie mumbles.

"Hey," I say gently, giving her a look. "Mommy and I are gonna be gone for two weeks. Remember what I said? You three need to get along and look out for each other. That means sharing. Listening. No fighting."

"Do you hafta go?" Miles asks, looking up at Bella.

I can see her falter a little.

Months ago, when I surprised her with a trip to Italy and Spain, she was ecstatic. The plan was to start in Venice, then spend some time in Lake Como before ending in Barcelona.

The closer we got to the trip, the more her doubt started to set in about leaving the kids. She said it was too far. Too long. We've done overnight trips and been gone for a couple of days here and there, but never for two weeks and never out of the country. It was ballsy of me, I guess, but I knew it'd be good for us.

"We'll call you every day, you won't even miss us," Bella reassures Miles. "And we're going to bring you back so many presents."

"Like a puppy?" Evie asks, finally perking up.

"No, not like a puppy," Bella clarifies, smirking. "Souvenirs."

"How many presents?" Miles asks.

"Ten!" Chloe chimes in, then counts to ten on her fingers, making Bella and me smile.

"You're getting so good at counting, baby," Bella tells her.

"I not a baby. I a big girl!" she insists yet again.

Bella doesn't outwardly react, but I know hearing that kills her a little bit, too, because it's true. For all of them. They're getting bigger and older every day.

Time is a fucking thief.

"You are a big girl," Bella agrees. "And I'm sure you'll get even bigger over the two weeks we'll be gone." For a split second, I think she's gonna tell them nevermind, the trip is off. That Mommy and Daddy aren't going anywhere. But she just looks at Miles and Evie and says, "Y'all go get dressed so you're not late. It's a field trip day to the science center, you don't wanna miss the bus."

They shuffle out of the room, and Bella picks up Chloe.

"I see you finally decided to pack," Bella teases me. "Just a day before we fly out."

"Hey, better late than never. And doing it this way keeps me from overpacking."

She quirks a brow. "So, there's a method to your madness?"

I just smile and lean in to kiss her, but before our mouths meet, Chloe reaches for me and interrupts us.

"I was gonna ask if you wanted to ride with Daddy to drop off your sister and brother or stay with Mommy, but I think I have my answer," Bella tells Chloe as she hands her over to me.

"Wanna go wif Daddy!" Chloe squeals, bouncing in my arms.

"Does that work for you?" Bella asks, looking at me. "You sure you don't mind doing drop-off today?"

"Nah. You do it every day. I'm looking forward to driving the Dadmobile."

She laughs. "Oh, you are huh? Are you admitting you actually like the minivan?"

"It's growing on me," I confess, smirking.

We caved last year and finally switched from an SUV to a more spacious family-friendly vehicle. I can't take credit for the idea though because Emmett got one first, four years ago after he and Rosalie were successful with IVF and had twin girls.

They're still our closest friends, and since we have kids around the same age, we see them more than anyone else. Sometimes they feel more like family than anything.

After Bella found out she was pregnant with Chloe, I left SportsCenter to do the podcast with Emmett full-time and to focus on some side hustles, like co-producing a limited series on ESPN. I wanted a more flexible schedule that I had control over so I could be around more.

"I'll clean up the mess around here, then after you drop off the kids, you and Clo can go pick up Allie and Jas from the airport?" Bella asks.

"Yeah, that works." Before she turns to walk out, I touch her arm. "Hey."

Her eyes soften. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

She got some heavy news this morning from Maggie, her half-sister. They've talked here and there over the last few years and gradually grew closer, bonding over their unconventional upbringing.

Maggie knows Bella doesn't communicate with her parents, but a week ago, she said she had some information about Charlie and left it up to Bella if she wanted to know or not. Bella took a few days to decide but finally replied last night that she did.

Apparently, Charlie has been battling cancer for a couple of years.

I guess Renee reached out to Maggie to let her know it wasn't looking good, and Maggie sat on that information for a bit before saying anything to Bella.

Bella's eyes drift to Chloe before saying, "I'm not sure how to feel. There's a disconnect maybe. Like I'm surface-level sad to hear Charlie's not healthy, but it doesn't feel like… like how I'd feel if I'd heard that your dad was sick." She sighs, and Chloe squirms out of my arms, bored, and goes across the hall to her room. "I just don't want to be guilted into anything."

I frown. "What would you be guilted into?"

"Like going to Seattle and seeing Charlie and Renee. And maybe they don't even want me to go. But I also don't want to have any regrets," she mumbles. "I already emailed Jane and requested a therapy appointment for when we get back from our trip, so I can talk it out with her."

"I'm here for you, too," I remind her. "And you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I'll support whatever you feel is right, Bell."

She smiles sadly. "I know. You always have, and I love you for it."

"Mommmmy!" Miles calls out from the living room. Bella and I share a look, knowing this conversation is paused for now.

We head downstairs, falling into our routine.

Bella makes lunches.

I help the kids with their shoes and keep them on task.

Before we head out the door, Bella kisses them on the cheeks and foreheads and wishes them a good day.

I unlock the minivan and the rear doors automatically slide open before all three kids pile into the back.

"Oh yeah. I checked us into our flight," Bella tells me as we stand by the front door.

"No second-guessing, right?" I double-check.

"About the trip?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, God, no. Am I sad to leave the kids? Yes. Will I cry when we head to the airport? Guaranteed. But am I so excited for some quality alone time with you in Europe?" She stands on her tiptoes and presses her lips to mine. "Fuck yes."

"Fuck, huh?" I echo, my voice low and smug.

She's still in her robe and I slide my hands over her silky hips and cop a quick feel, palming her ass.

She smiles against my mouth. "It's been a while."

"Trust me. I know."

"But that's the first thing we're gonna do," she says decidedly like it's a typical itinerary.

I bite back a grin. "What—each other?"

"Yes. Screw the sights. I wanna see you."

I groan, fighting my arousal. "Bell…"

Her smile turns devious and I grab her face to kiss her once more before we walk over to the minivan. I climb into the driver's seat and she makes sure the kids are buckled and ready to go.

"Be good today!" she tells Miles and Evie. "Maybe Aunt Allie and Uncle Jasper will ride with me to pick y'all up later."

"Yay!" Evie says because her aunt is one of her favorite people in the world.

"Will she bring her baby?" Miles asks.

"No. The baby is still in her belly," Evie replies. "Right, Mommy?"

"Right. Your cousin won't be here until after Christmas," Bella says gently. "Still five months to go."

I'm happy for Allie and Jasper. I really am.

Years ago when their engagement was called off, it wasn't Jasper's doing—it was Allie's. She realized she still had unresolved shit to work through after her divorce from Ben, and it wasn't fair to Jasper to hold onto all of that resentment and try to move on with him when she wasn't ready.

So they paused the wedding but stayed together.

Bella and I didn't know any of that at the time because Allie wasn't talking to us. It wasn't until that Fourth of July when Evie was just a month old that Allie said she was embarrassed by how she acted on Christmas Eve. She said it had less to do about us, and everything to do with her. She said she was sorry for taking out her anger on us. For interfering with our marriage when she should've let us handle it and focused on herself.

Bella got in an apology, too, saying she should've been there more for Allie after her split with Ben, but didn't know how to when she was struggling so badly with our separation.

After hearing Allie's struggles, I also apologized for being so hard on her.

Since then, things have been better. I wouldn't say Bella and Allie are as close as they used to be, but there's still genuine love there. They don't have to be best friends because they'll always be family.

"Am I stopping at the store for dinner or are we worrying about that later?" I ask Bella before leaving.

"I figured we'd keep it easy and order pizza," she says.

"Peetsa, peetsa, peetsa!" Chloe chants from her car seat.

Evie and Miles chime in, chanting with their sister.

"Only if we get lots of anchovies," I add, earning a collective ew from all three kids, and a soft, playful smile from my wife.

XXX

From the start of dinner to bedtime, it's controlled chaos.

The kids are amped up because Uncle Jasper and Aunt Allie are here, as well as my folks. We eat pizza without anchovies, and lounge on the back patio while watching the kids play until it's their bath time.

"Miles, take it easy!" I call out while he plays with Chloe, who just giggles as he wrestles with her in the grass.

"Kid needs himself a brother," my dad replies good-naturedly, pushing Evie on the swing.

"Chloe and Evie can keep up with him," I insist. "Besides, he has a boy cousin arriving in early January."

My mom smiles sadly at Allie and Jas. "Just wish y'all lived closer."

"I know," Allie agrees. "If Jas's family weren't in Seattle, we probably would move."

"Have you thought about baby names?" Bella asks, sipping her wine.

"We want to meet him first," Jasper replies.

"Wait, you're not naming him after me?" I joke, and Allie rolls her eyes.

"No, dear brother, we are not," she says lightly. "I had a crazy dream the other night that I had five boys. Can you imagine?"

"I call that a nightmare," Jasper laughs, swigging his beer.

"No. Five girls would be a nightmare," Allie corrects. "I'd be okay just being a boy mom. I love Evie and Chloe, don't get me wrong. They're the best girlies. But I know how I was when I was a teenager. I don't want that karma."

"Yeah, you were a brat, all right. Still are," I quip, grinning.

Allie laughs. "Because you were such a joy growing up."

Evie jumps off the swing and Dad joins us under the covered patio.

"I'd say you were both pretty decent kiddos. You're much harder to handle as adults," he says, and everyone laughs.

"Dad's right—you two didn't give us much grief as kids. I guess if you two were ever difficult, I don't remember. You forget the hard parts. That's just how life is, I guess," Mom says simply.

Bella stands and starts stacking plates on the outdoor coffee table, but I grab her waist and pull her to sit on my lap.

"Leave it. I'll clean it later," I promise and she relaxes against me.

The conversation picks up again around us, but I focus on her.

"You good?" I whisper in her ear.

She just nods, but I get the feeling something is off.

My mom turns her attention to Bella and me. "Your dad and I were organizing the garage and found some baby stuff. Just things from the kiddos over the years. Toys, clothes. A pack 'n play they used to nap in when they were at our place."

"Yeah?" I drink my beer, then glance at the kids again, watching Evie trying to teach her brother and sister how to do cartwheels.

"Should I hang onto some of it?" my mom asks.

"Sorry, what?" I ask, focusing on her again. "Hang onto what?"

"Mom is fishing to see if you'll have any more kids," Allie clarifies. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Ahh, I see," I murmur, and my eyes meet Bella's to find she's fighting a smile. She must've caught on to what my mom was getting at the same way Allie did.

Bella and I have had this talk many times before, and we can't ever land on a solid answer.

We'd love more, but we also feel greedy because we already have three amazing kids. We're also in a good spot right now with all of them being a little older and more self-sufficient.

But still.

There's always that twinge of fucking longing when you realize you're experiencing certain milestones with your kids for the last time.

First and last gummy smile.

First and last wobbly steps.

First and last proper pronunciation of a word they've always said in their own little way.

"Yeah, I don't know," Bella says undecidedly. "Maybe keep everything for Allie whenever she visits?"

Mom just nods, and the subject is dropped as easily as it came up.

After dinner, my folks head out and Bella and I tackle bedtime together, giving Allie and Jasper some pointers since it'll be their job for the next two weeks.

It takes longer than usual, but we successfully get the kids down after giving them a million hugs and kisses since we won't see them before we go to the airport in the morning.

"I'm exhausted," Bella says once we crawl into our bed.

I dim our lamps with an app on my phone, then roll over to face her. "So, you don't want to have sex?"

She laughs. "With your sister and Jasper down the hall?"

"I'm sure they know we have sex. We have three kids after all."

"No, the stork dropped them off," she teases.

I growl a laugh and move to lie on top of her, settling between her legs and staring down at her pretty face.

"Hi," I whisper.

Her gaze softens. "Hi." She tilts her chin up to kiss me. "You think Allie and Jas can handle the kids while we're gone?"

I don't really want to talk about Allie and Jas right now, but say, "They'll be fine. It'll be good practice. And you know my folks will be around to help." She just hums. "Is that why you got kinda quiet during dinner earlier?" I ask. "Because you're worried about leaving the kids?"

"Was it obvious I was in my head?" she asks, biting her lower lip.

"Not to anyone else," I murmur, brushing some hair away from her face before I move off her. "But I know you."

"It wasn't because I don't want to leave the kids. It's just what Esme said about life and forgetting the hard parts. I was thinking about Charlie and just… I don't know. I still want to talk to my therapist, but maybe I do need to go see my parents after we get back from our trip."

"I told you, whatever you need to do just tell me. We can make it happen. But I also don't want you to go back and have this expectation that things will be different. Yeah, he's sick, but has he changed? Has your mom?"

Bella thinks about it and then says, "I don't think that's the point. I don't expect them to have changed."

"I'm just protective of you. That's all. And thinking about you putting in the effort and for them to just… I don't know. Is it worth it? I guess I just don't know what to expect. I just don't want you to get hurt any more than you already have."

"I know," she murmurs. "I have everything I could have ever wanted with you and the kids. Nothing is missing in my life, and I don't need a reunion with my parents. But… I just think I'll hate myself if I don't see him one more time. And I don't want that hanging over my head. It's for me, really. Not them."

I swallow at her vulnerability. "Then we'll go, Bell."

"I mean, we can talk about it more. We don't have to decide now. But if we do go, I don't think the kids should come. I don't want to confuse them or anything."

I drape an arm over her hip and squeeze. "I love you."

"You better. Twenty years?" she says with a smirk. "It's kinda crazy."

"No, it's not. It's us. It makes perfect sense."

"Yeah, it does." She moves closer to me so our bodies are flush. "Okay, but your mom earlier, when she was asking about more kids. She realizes I'm going to be forty-three this year, right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm decrepit."

I laugh. "Far from it." I squeeze her ass. "You've never fucking looked better."

"But my insides. Biological clocks and all that," she clarifies. "I know she means well. I love Esme. And like, yeah, I'd love another kid. Does that mean we should?"

"We still have space in the minivan," I joke. "Why not?"

She chuckles. "Not a reason to have another kid."

"I agree. But…"

"But?"

I lean in to kiss her. "Maybe we have one more in us."

"Us?" She scoffs a laugh. "You wouldn't have anything in you. It'd be all me. My womb."

"I got something in me," I insist, smug. "Clearly, my boys are hella good swimmers. And I just meant financially and mentally we can handle another kid."

"I know what you meant," she says softly. "Which is why I might've dug out some unexpired ovulation tests and thrown them in my toiletry bag earlier."

I can't fight my grin. "Yeah?"

"I just figured at some point on the trip if I'm ovulating and we decide to… try," she says carefully, "I just want to know which specific days are the best for achieving that."

"So, what you're saying is you want to try for another baby? One final Cullen added to our crew?"

She smiles, her eyes sparking with excitement.

"I'm saying I'm going to be drunk in Europe with my sexy as fuck husband, and he seduces me rather easily," she says as I palm her breast, the thin cotton of her tank top doing nothing to stop her nipple from pebbling under my hand. "And if that results in a baby, then I'd be really fucking happy. And if it doesn't, that's okay, too."

Capturing her mouth in a soft kiss, our tongues brush. We make out for a minute or so until I climb on top of her again and bury my face in the crook of her neck to kiss her skin.

Lifting my head, I clarify, "You're not ovulating now."

"No."

"So having sex tonight would be purely practice?" I tease, pushing my groin against her with intention.

She moans a little and I nibble on her lobe before sucking on her neck.

And then the smallest voice outside the door says, "Mommy? Daddy?"

"Shit," I breathe out.

I move off Bella and get out of bed while she adjusts her tank top.

When I open the door, Chloe is standing there in her pajamas, bleary-eyed and holding Bear.

"Wanna sweep wif you," she mumbles sleepily.

I pick her up and look over at Bella who smiles encouragingly, which means Chloe is sleeping with us and sex is off the table until we get to Italy.

"Come on, baby girl," Bella says, and Chloe doesn't refute the term of endearment this time because she's tired. She just rests her head on my shoulder as I walk us over to the bed.

Bella turns off the lamp.

We settle in.

Before I'm asleep, Miles climbs into bed with us.

And just minutes later, Evie does too.

It's not typical for all three of them to do this, but with our impending trip, they must have some separation anxiety going on.

Chloe shares my pillow, her little toes digging into my ribs as she gets comfortable. Miles is curled up next to Bella. And Evie is in between all of us, somehow instantly out like a light.

I know I won't sleep well tonight but that's fine.

"Edward?" Bella whispers a few minutes later.

Finding her eyes in the dimly lit room, our three kiddos resting between us, I ask, "What's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothing." She sniffles, but she looks and sounds so fucking happy. "I just want you to know that I love you, and I'm so excited and grateful for twenty more years of this life with you."