Rage. That was the emotion dominating my thoughts, as I layed there in the cold and wet dirt. Wet in equal parts from the rain and the blood that was gushing out of the mangled remains of my throat.
But funnily enough, it wasn't my current state, that was the main reason for my overwhelming rage. No, it was the pleased look in the disgusting crimson eyes of the creature that did this to me. Its wide grin, that showed almost all its teeth. Stained red from my blood, like the rest of its lower face and part of its chest.
The way it stood above me. Looking down at me. There was nothing I wanted to do more, than rip it to shreds. Bash its skull in. MAKE IT SCREAM and beg for mercy. Mercy that would never come…
But I could do nothing more, than lay there bleeding out. Internally burning from rage and ever growing pain. Soon the pain would overtake my rage. I was aware of this. But I was even more aware that before that happened I would have no more blood to bleed. I knew my death was approaching. And the creature knew that too.
"Well I have to thank you for the hospitality my dear friend, but I'm sadly too full to finish this delicious drink you offered me," the creature said. Its smooth masculine voice and notable British accent did nothing to soothe my rage. His words made me just that much more angry. It felt like hell itself decided to settle in my head. The burning anger made me able to ignore the burning pain that was spreading over my whole body.
"Now it's time for me to leave. Normally I would end it quickly, but as a gift for the great meal you made for me, I will give you the pleasure of slowly bleeding out. What do you think? Am I not most gracious?" The creature´s sick pleasure in its voice made the rage burn even hotter.
"I… will… kill.. you," were the words I managed to whisper, through the remains of my throat and the blood pooling in my mouth. It seemed surprised by my words. Or maybe more by the fact that I even managed to get anything more than a whimper out.
Then it laughed. It laughed loud and hard. It was doubling over in laughter and looked like it would have been crying in laughter, if it could. It took several minutes before it calmed down.
"Oh that is too good! If I had known you were such a good jokester, I would have left you your throat and turned you even. You could have been my personal jester! But sadly it wasn't meant to be. I have to thank you again my friend. Not only a delectable dessert, but a wonderful laugh after. You truly spoil me! But it´s time now. Fare thee well, my precious friend. I wish you well on your next journey. May you keep your sense of humor," it said, before it turned around and disappeared into the pouring rain.
And with that I was alone. Well… not completely. The rage was still there. And the pain hadn't left me either. On the contrary. Both only grew more and more. I wouldn´t die here. I couldn't accept it. I wouldn't accept it! I would survive this. And I would find the monster that put me in this situation. I would murder it! THIS WAS NOT THE END! I WOULD AVENGE… her.
My torn and ripped neck muscles strained with inhuman effort, as I forced myself with all my rage amplified will to turn my head left. After several seconds I managed to turn enough to finally see her.
Her beautiful green eyes were glancing back into mine. But they lacked the warmth I was used to seeing. The eyes that once looked at me with so much love and care. The eyes that never once made me feel anything other than home. Empty and glazed now, forever robbed of their spark. Her mouth that once held the soft smile that let me know that everything would be fine. Slack now, half opened still from her screams. Slack like all of her body, that lost all its warmth.
My Mother. My beautiful, wonderful, angelic Mother. My Mother who was my best friend. My Mother who was my safe haven. My Mother who was my light in the dark. My Mother who was the only one who could make this accursed world seem worth living in. My Mother who I loved more than life itself. My Mother… My Mother… who was now dead.
Killed. Murdered. Massacred. Taken from me forever.
She would never listen to my crazy ideas with her patient smile again… never laugh with me again… never scold me for being reckless again… never embrace me again… never tell me how much she loves me again… and never hear me say it back again.
She was gone.
The Grief overwhelmed everything. The rage, the pain… it all paled in comparison. Tears streamed down my face. Mixing with the rain and the blood that was pooling around my head. I tried to reach for her, to take her hand one more time in the hopes of finding the warmth that I knew was long gone. But my arm wouldn't move. Nothing would move. My body betrayed me. I could barely feel it now. The only thing I felt was the agonizing pain in my heart… and burning feeling in my limbs.
It felt like my limbs contained a roaring fire that was slowly spreading into the rest of my body. It was excruciating, but in my grief I barely gave it a thought.
The longer I stared into the sightless eyes of my mother, the bigger the pain in my heart grew. But with the pain came one more emotion… absolute DETERMINATION. I would survive. I didn't know how, but there wasn't any doubt in my mind. I WOULD SURVIVE. That was a fact. And I would find the Monster that did this. I would find it and pay it back for every second of life that it robbed of my mother. IT WOULD PAY! There was nothing that would stop me from avenging her.
Not even my death.
The burning rage that was still there, cooled. But it didn't disappear. On the contrary, it even grew. But it turned into a different type of rage. Cold. Focused. Powerful. Like a razor sharp blade, ready to strike down its target. And the target was set.
With my mind focused now, I took the first step on my set path: Taking stock of my situation. Nothing had changed really.
My throat was still a mangled mess and I was still losing more blood. It was honestly astonishing that there was still any left in me. I was unable to even move a muscle. The turning of my head seemed to have taken all my strength and more. But now that I was truly focusing on my body, I realized that the burning in my limbs wasn't normal. My throat was damaged, not my limbs. But it was still my limbs that felt like every cell was burning into a crisp. And it was spreading. Already I felt my shoulders and hips sizzle from the spreading internal fire.
Suddenly something came to my mind. The Monster said something about "turning" me. And it didn't sound like it meant turning me around. Could it mean turning me into something else? Turning me into something like… itself.
The realization struck me like lightning. I was turning into a monster. A monster like the one that killed my mother.
For a brief moment I felt panic, but that went away quickly. I made my choice. I would kill the Monster that took my mother from this world. And if that meant turning into the same Monster, then so be it…
But NO, not the same. I would never become like that creature. I would never rob an innocent human of their family. I would never make a human go through the pain I felt, and feel to this day. I would be my own kind of monster. The monster that pays other monsters back for all their sins. The monster that slays monsters! The monster that monsters fear! The Monster of Monsters!
The burning spread farther into my torso and up my neck now. My heart was beating weaker and weaker, but I refused to give up. I willed my heart to hold on. It wasn't my time yet.
I didn't know how long I laid there. Time lost all meaning, just like everything else. The only things left were the internal fire, my weak heartbeat and my mother's dead eyes before me, that were the only thing my fading sight could focus on. The fire had consumed my whole body by now and was closing in on my heart. My heartbeat was almost fully gone. Willpower alone can only do so much, then there is so little blood left. But I was still holding on.
With a final push the fire ripped into my heart. The burning agony spiked, but by now it was just more of the same to me. Not that I would´ve been able to physically react anyway. My heartbeat quickened. It beat faster and faster, as if it tried to fight off the fire somehow. Like prey it tried to escape its predator, but like all prey, it was destined to fall and be consumed.
I felt my eyes fall closed as my heartbeat slowed again. And it didn't stop slowing. It got slower… and slower… and slower… until it stopped for good.
The sun slowly rose over the trees, casting its rays on a small clearing, where two corpses laid. Both crusted over with blood and mud. And one of them was me. There I layed, a few meters next to my mothers cold dead body. As tragic a scene as any. The sad end to an even sadder tale. But you see, this was not to be the end. This was just the beginning.
Because just before the light could reach my cold hard body…
I opened my bright red eyes.