Hello, reader. Never in my life did I think I'd find myself writing a Twilight fanfiction, but here we are. Inspired by many lengthy fanfictions on this site and others, I present to you, "Pax Aeterna". This is Latin for "eternal peace", and I hope by the end of this story, you (along with Rosalie) get a glimpse of what that is.
This is a deep dive into the character and mind of Rosalie. It is also my take on her, colored by my own personality, and other influences I may or may not reveal. I feel she was extremely underdeveloped by Meyer, which I respect but disagree with as an artistic decision. All art is open to interpretation.
For this reason, going in, Rosalie's will be the sole POV in this story. That could change in the future, but I would prefer to keep it that way. Rosalie... reminds me of me, in many ways.
This story takes place in Forks, and may extend to other locations. All characters are the same age, except Bella, who is 18. I hope they aren't too out-of-character, but if they are, I apologize sincerely.
Yes, in this chapter, there are four Cullen siblings, not five. Why? Read and find out.
Lastly, if anyone would be willing to proofread each chapter as I go, please send me a PM. I have a general plot outline, and many details from the books will be retained. I may make mistakes, and because humans aren't perfect, even if I find a proofreader, there still may be errors. For this I apologize.
I hope you enjoy. Whether you do or don't, leave a review, or send me a message, or both.
Chapter 1: Posthumous Knowledge
There is a kind of knowledge that strips whatever you do of weight and scope: for such knowledge, everything is without basis except itself. … Such knowledge deserves to be called posthumous: it functions as if the knower were alive and not alive, a being and the memory of a being.
- Emil Cioran
Rosalie said nothing to her siblings as the four of them walked towards the cafeteria. They stood in line and paid for plates of mediocre food just like every other student who could afford to do so. They took a table to themselves just like every other clique around school. Of course, everyone knew they were "related", but taking a table together kept up the pretense of being human. Weird, but human.
She picked at her food, staring out the window at the gray Forks sky. Rain, naturally, pelted against the glass. She focused her vision on a drop near the top of the window, slowly making its way down, where, upon colliding with the windowsill, it would turn into countless smaller drops, which would then evaporate, condensate, and eventually fall again. She envied the drop of rain; it had a purpose, and something to contribute. Unlike her.
The sound of the cafeteria doors opening and closing registered in her mind. Absorbed as she was in the raindrop's descent, her breathing reflex had momentarily stopped. And when she finally remembered to take a breath, she smelled it.
"Holy shit, do you smell that?" muttered Alice, low enough for only the other vampires to hear.
Rosalie's body stiffened. Honey, lilacs, and sunshine were the three images that her mind conjured before plaguing itself with them. She was unable to stop her head and eyes from turning, hungrily seeking out the source of the scent. Whatever (whoever) it was, she wanted more than anything to blur to it with inhuman speed, drain it of every drop of blood. Those drops served an infinitely greater purpose than a raindrop. They existed solely to sustain her in her eternity. The temptation was so strong, she had to physically fight to stay planted in her seat, to not unravel everything Carlisle had been working to build for centuries. Until she met the girl's gaze.
The brunette was sitting beside a girl Rosalie thought may have been named Angela, but that didn't matter. The other human was registered in her mind the same way the sound of their entrance had been.
Her whole existence shifted. Time stopped. A supernova exploded inside of her, flooding her body with a warmth she hadn't felt in over a hundred years. Intense desire, the purest love, utter devotion, complete certainty, a fierce need to protect, and an immediate sense of impossibility filled her. The girl's mouth dropped open, looking directly into Rosalie's eyes, which she was certain had gone from their regular gold to the deepest of blacks the instant she'd smelled her.
She stood up, barely managing to keep her chair from being sent flying into the group seated a few feet behind her. "I need to get the fuck out of here," she hissed. Alarm crossed the faces of her brothers and sister.
"Rose-" squeaked Alice, and Rosalie turned her gaze on Alice. The pixie vampire looked like a deer caught in the headlight, which clearly meant that somehow, this particular incident had snuck past her sister's ability to see the future. Maybe the girl hadn't planned to come to lunch and a friend had asked her. After all, she was clearly new in town, considering the fact that neither of the four Cullens recognized her scent. And many of the kids at Forks High were good-natured.
She didn't know, or care. All she knew at that moment was that she needed to get as far away from the scent and those eyes and these feelings as she possibly could. She had a sinking feeling she would never be rid of any of those for the rest of her existence.
So she did. She walked out of the cafeteria as calmly as she could, walked to her car, and drove out of Forks. She wasn't followed, probably due to Alice working her magic to figure out what the fuck was going on. After parking her car in front of the garage at home, she quickly snatched her wallet and passport out of her purse before speeding off into the woods, running as fast as she could for over two hours, twisting and turning whenever she wanted or had to before coming to a stop and falling to her knees. She made sure to leave her phone behind.
She was deeper in the woods than any human had ever been. Huge trees surrounded her, and very little light seeped through the canopy of gently dripping leaves. Where was she? Rosalie had taken so many twists and turns, climbed so many hills and mountains in her desperate and pathetic attempt to flee from the human that she had no idea where she could possibly be. She thought she might be in northern Alberta, Canada, but she couldn't be sure. It certainly wasn't anywhere near Washington, or the Pacific Northwest in general; the scent of the place was completely different, as were the flora and fauna. The trees, though just as leafy, were much shorter, and much less green, with brown trunks and little moss. Moisture didn't seep in to the world here like it did at home.
A wordless, inhuman scream ripped from the blonde vampire's throat, disturbing the ecosystem around her. It echoed through the forest as she beat the ground, sending a miniature earthquake rippling around her. Her fist sunk a foot into the ground, spraying earth and moss all around her. She didn't even notice a clump of dirt hit her in the cheek.
"WHY?!", she screamed again. A human's vocal chords would have been decimated by the force she delivered the question with. She repeated it over and over again, gradually lowering her voice until she broke down in tear-less sobs. The fact that immortals couldn't cry was purely evil trick of the universe.
She laughed at that, no humor in her voice. The universe didn't play tricks. It wasn't sentient, and anybody who pretended otherwise was just as delusional as the pitiful humans who had conjured up a "benevolent", "all knowing", and "all powerful" God. Her situation was definitive proof of this. Existence was by pure chance; ultimately, nothing mattered.
But this does, she told herself. This had consequences for not only her, but her family, and if not handled right, for the whole of the vampire world. If Rosalie didn't ignore what had happened, if the Cullens didn't immediately pack up and move as far away as was humanly possible from Forks, all she could see in the future was disaster. She didn't need Alice's gift to see that.
A deep and full depression filled her from head to toe. She could feel the despair behind her eyes, in her chest, in her non-functioning stomach. It overpowered and drowned out every other emotion she had been feeling.
"My mate is a human female, whom I can never be with. My life shall be consumed with despair and loneliness," she said to the trees around her. The words were robotic, devoid of emotion. The way she spoke most of the time. With that, she stood up and shook her head. She needed to find her way home.
Home. The word sent an unfamiliar feeling through her chest, and she frowned. She didn't enjoy it.
Their home, or at the very least, her home, was about to be taken away, her life uprooted, and most likely that the other Cullens as was little chance of her family allowing her to deal with this pain alone. She wasn't sure if this was good or bad. Right now, she cared little.
They would head first for Alaska, and visit their cousins there, the Denali clan. Then, perhaps they would cross from there to Russia; she was sure their like-minded brethren would assist them in finding or building a home deep in the Siberian wilderness, or perhaps as far as Ural. The Cullen family once had stayed at a cabin owned by the Denalis, which was a few hundred miles north of Novosibirsk. Carlisle had more than enough money to expand the already extravagant cabin into a large house.
"Anywhere but here," she muttered to nobody, before focusing her hearing. Once she honed in on the sound of a distant river, she sprinted towards it, attempting to get her bearings and hunting several deer on the way, partially out of frustration and partially due to thirst. Eventually, she found herself in Edmonton, Canada, which she learned was the second-largest city in that province, and one she had never been to. It housed a mega mall, complete with amusement park, water park, and hotel, along with hundreds of stores and multiple food courts. It also contained an ice rink. None of this mattered to Rosalie. Nothing did, except the girl, and getting as far away from her as possible.
She stayed in a hotel close to the airport, and purchased a flight to Seattle for the next morning, where she would pick up a car from a garage the Cullens owned there and drive back to Forks. Not wanting to deal with the burden of interacting with people, Rose stayed in her room, laying straight on the bed, staring at the ceiling and desperately wishing she could feel anything other than hopelessness.