It took her running toward Edward to finally admit that she messed up by leaving Jacob that night. She realized a long time ago that she wanted life, her heart knew it belonged with Jacob but her actions and choices just might have ruined that chance. Now the roles are reversed and Bella has to prove not only to Jacob but to her father, her friends, and the pack that she truly loves them.

Meanwhile, Edward refuses to give her up, the Volturi step back up as leaders of the vampire world and Victoria is preparing for a war that will change the supernatural world forever.

The quotes that are italicized come directly from either the book or the movie.
The story is primarily from the point of Bella but will switch occasionally.
Some characters might seem OOC but I merely expanded on their set personalities except for Bella, she has the most changes
Very pro-Jacob and pro-pack so not for Edward lovers

Monday, 20th 2006

Bella POV

I could do nothing but curse the moment I met Edward Cullen.

I imagine that to one who had enough context, my running to a starving, suicidal vampire amidst a sea of red must have been a peculiar event to witness. It truly was a fitting scene if I was going to be honest with myself, even if it were more than a little foolish considering I was headed straight for the one person who would have at that moment painted the streets with my blood had I been anyone else. Yet as I ran to him, my heart thumping in my chest and blood coursing through my veins, I didn't think there was any other option. I knew I was never going to get back together with him. I was too good for him, but I still cared for him. I still held a semblance of love for him, but everything about him was unstable; everything about us was unequal, unchanging, and almost completely one-sided, which filled me with resentment.

I was fully and completely prepared to become a vampire for Edward. I truly believed that it was my fate, that somehow I was meant for something greater than humanity. I was prepared to leave behind everyone and everything I'd ever known for a chance at immortality with Edward forever by my side. All it took was a paper cut to destroy my life and a few words to shatter me in a way I didn't think was possible.

"You don't want me?"


That day he left and uttered those words, I couldn't feel anything beyond my heart shattering into a million tiny pieces. Even now, even when I knew Edward had most likely already left the state, my heart was still breaking into so many pieces. I didn't realize one could break as much as I had, and I would have welcomed death without so much of a whimper. What else did I have here, what else did I have to live for if Edward was gone?

"You just don't belong in my world Bella."

"I belong with you."

"No, you don't."

Maybe he was right; I didn't belong in his world. I didn't belong with him. I didn't know where I belonged. At the time, I couldn't imagine following the same path as my parents or my friends. College didn't appeal to me; marriage and children were things I knew from a young age I never wanted. So where did that leave me, I wonder? Where in the world do I belong since making Edward the center of focus?

It took Edward's leaving for me to realize that without him, I lost myself. Maybe I lost who I was when I found him, or maybe I never found myself and allowed myself to be molded into the person he wanted. I truly did not know anymore; there were many things I didn't know and many things I wished I had never learned. So I did the only thing I could do—I mourned. I mourned Edward; I mourned the love he took from me, the world I longed to be a part of, and a family I had truly believed loved me just as much as I did them.

Just the thought of that entire family I lost brought a fresh wave of anguish through my soul. How easy it was for them all to leave me It was all a bad dream, it was all just a bad dream…at least that's what I believed at the time. I spent months living in a nightmarish time loop of endless and meaningless repetition.

In my haze during the first few months, I remember how much my dad and my friends tried to keep me engaged, but I simply wasn't capable of giving them back that energy. No, instead I spent all my time sitting and staring out a window, sitting at their lunch table, or, more recently, putting myself in danger so I could chance a glimpse at an illusion. In those moments, I truly felt as if I were Juliet, running straight toward my ruin while simultaneously being the single cause behind it. It wasn't until Leah confronted me about how I was treating Jacob and my father that I began to realize what I had become and what I had allowed him to turn me into. Even as the wolves protected me from Victoria, my mind was still on the Cullens, who, in the simplest terms, had left me for dead. My single-minded focus on them was finally revealed, and there wasn't a place I could hide, no wool covering my eyes, and no excuse I could give that would justify my actions. Truthfully, I didn't understand why they stood by me the way they did, unwaveringly; even with her anger, Leah still patrolled my house, protecting me, and I still don't fully understand why, because I had done absolutely nothing to deserve it.

And then there's my father, my poor father. Granted, Charlie wasn't the most attentive parent, but he loved me enough to know that something was wrong. Charlie was just as broken as I was when my mom and I left; he knew exactly what I was going through. He was my kindred spirit in being left behind for not being enough; how could I ever forget that? It just serves to remind me of how self-absorbed I've become. I'd realized that I had given all my love to Edward and his family to the point where I had almost nothing left for the ones that should have been on the receiving end the entire time. To learn I gave too much of myself to someone whose entire life in Forks was built on a lie was unsettling, to say the least. I could only imagine how distraught he was, especially since Jacob wouldn't have been able to answer all of his questions. This is the second time I've left him, and I couldn't help but inwardly cringe at that fact. I frowned as I realized I was probably going to be grounded until I turned 30. Just how badly did I ruin my father's trust in me this time, I wondered. I wasn't prepared for the answer.

Finally, there was Jake, someone who quickly became the warmth I'd been denied my entire life. Even living in Arizona under the constant sun, my emotionally absent mother was enough to suck every bit of warmth from my life. Jacob, however, seemed to bring more warmth than humanly possible, and it wasn't just because he was a wolf. Jacob was the complete opposite of Edward; he was the sun, my sun, and Edward was the moon. He was the heat, and Edward was the cold. Jacob Black was warm coffee on rainy Sundays, bonfires on Friday evenings, & spiced hot chocolate during the winter. He's lava cakes & blueberry muffins, foggy early mornings shining over the forest, or rays of sunset seeping through the trees.

Jacob Black embodied life itself, and I left him to try and save a man who's been dead for over a century. The sheer irony of it all almost made me sick. He made me realize that there was so much more to life, so much I would miss out on. It wasn't like I didn't already know but Jake made it all the more real, he solidified that fact in a way that forced me to terms with it all. Even as I chased a figment of my imagination, I was slowly giving my heart to the one person who deserved so much more than a broken girl with a serious attachment to the past. And yet, he still wanted me. It took everything in me to not remember the look of absolute betrayal and heartbreak on his face when I told him I was coming here.

"For me?"

"I have to go."

Before Alice told me what Edward was going to do, I was going to kiss Jake; I was in the middle of it…God and then I just took off to come here.

"I'm begging you."

"Goodbye Jacob."

I knew what that looked like, even if I knew the truth; I knew what it looked like, and again, I cringed at my actions. The only question was whether or not he'd still want me when I returned. I didn't just break his trust like I did my father's; I broke his heart. What could I do to fix it—better yet, was there anything I could do? Again, I knew I wasn't prepared for the answer.

The moment Alice told me Edward was going to kill himself because he believed I was dead, I wanted to scream. I couldn't have his death on my mind; I didn't want to have to carry that around on my conscience for the rest of my life, and I wouldn't let him do that to his family. To know he'd put more people through that type of loss angered me in a way I didn't think was possible. I wanted nothing more than to see Jacob and the rest of the pack tear him limb from limb for even attempting such a thing. Nevertheless, as angry as I was, I am... I knew that we had only gotten to this point because of our naivety and our inflated sense of self-importance. We were merely two dumb teenagers, too wrapped up in our misery to recognize that the world did revolve around our epic and forbidden love story. We lived in a fantasy world, believing we were the main characters instead of the villains we became. The fact that we both found kinship with Shakespeare should have been a big, glaring warning sign, and maybe it was, but I was too blind to notice it. Only we could create a love so toxic that it seeped into the ground and affected everyone I had ever cared for. Funny right? How, in the end, it was only my friends and family who bore the brunt of the fallout.

I finally spotted him when the doors underneath the clock tower opened up. It wasn't much, but I saw a glimpse of his skin as he made his way to the entrance, and I could feel my heart drop to my stomach. 'Of all the stupid and selfish things he has ever done…' Even as I forced myself to run faster, I cursed the day I ever met Edward Cullen.

"Edward!" I can hear myself screaming his name, but I don't feel it leave my throat.

"Edward! No!" He can hear my voice; I know he can. I can faintly feel the water from the fountain as it splashes on my clothes and skin. The crowd was too thick; by God, this would have been romantic had he not chosen the worst place and the worst reason to die.

I finally slammed myself into his body, bruising my own in the process. It seems as if pain when I'm with him, is something that's becoming too common.

I can feel the sun on my back as I try to push him back into the shade, but he isn't moving. I knew his body was as hard as stone, but it never occurred to me—or at least it never completely hit me—that he could literally pass for a statue. His hands are moving around my body; I can hear him sniffing my hair; he's cursing God for damming him to an eternity with me as his punishment and isn't that the most poetic thing for the both of us?

"This must be hell; your scent, my Bella, torments me even in death."

Oh, but of course, it would be my scent that drives him to madness and not the fact that we're both dead apparently.

"Dammit Edward, I'm alive you idiot, now move!" I scream at him, and finally, finally, he seems to come to his senses and allowed himself to be moved back.

"Bella?" he asked, his voice taking on a hint of incredulity and surprise.

"Yes, it's me," I answer with a touch of annoyance. "Now we have to leave before any of the Volturi get here. Do you know another way out, preferably away from the sun?"

"You're here." I frowned at the tone of his voice; it sent shivers down my spine and made me uneasy. The utter adoration with which he said those words, it sounded so wrong coming from his lips.

"Yeah," I replied tonelessly.

His arms slowly came to wrap themselves around me, his lips brushing lightly against me and despite how utterly broken I was, how many nights I dreamed of his kisses; it sent a wave of disgust throughout my entire body. I once enjoyed the cold his body gave off but now I could only feel as if I were hugging a corpse. I longed for the heat of Jake, both of which seemed to seep themselves into my very skin. The differences between the two of them were so stark I wanted to cry. Shrugging him off of me, I moved a few steps back from him, ignoring the look of pain and confusion on his face at my actions. "Now, let's go be-"

The sound of footsteps stopped my sentence in its tracks. Looking over Edward's shoulder, I was met with two young men, one of whom wore a look of sadistic glee while the other glared so harshly that I truly believed if he were capable, he'd kill me with his gaze alone.

'Well shit,' I thought as my heart started to pound fast and hard in my chest. 'If I ever make it back home, I'm going to make sure Jacob knows how much I care for him.' If I survived this, whatever it turned out to be, I was going to be perhaps the luckiest human in the world, and once again, I cursed the moment I ever met Edward Cullen.

2 days ago… Saturday 18th, 2006

Jacob spent much of the night angry when Bella decided to leave with Alice to get Edward. He was left with explaining to Charlie where Bella went, and he was left to deal with the chief's anger at him for letting her leave. How was he supposed to explain that if he tried to stop her, his house would be in shambles from the fight that would have broken out between him and the leech? So Jacob took the anger, which in turn made his anger burn brighter. She was about to kiss him; she was about to make the first move; he was so close to finally getting what he wanted, and the moment just after their lips brushed against each other, that leech had to burst through the door.

Jacob didn't want to remember just how fast Bella was able to leave him the moment she learned Eddie boy was in trouble. Was he not a vampire? Could he not solve matters for himself? Honestly, what problem could he have that required the use of a human to solve it? He hadn't been able to sleep since she left; he spent all morning pacing in his room, and when everyone was up, he spent the morning pacing in the house. When the pack arrived, he told them what happened, hoping they would be able to make sense of it. He knew that a kiss would have changed their relationship; he knew that Bella would have accepted him just as she accepted Edward; all she needed was time, and he gave her plenty of it.

"I just don't understand it, man," Jacob said. He had finally stopped pacing and was standing in front of the screen door, his head tipped forward gently. "Why in the hell did she leave for him? Why does she allow him to have such a hold on her?" Silence followed his question, as no one had an answer for him. If he didn't understand it, the pack was sure they never would. Just as he was beginning to ask another question, a voice popped up from behind him.

"Just get over her Jake; she's not good for you." Leah interrupted his rant from her place on the sofa, her arms crossed as she glared at him.

"Shut up, Leah," Jacob growled, balling his hands into tight fists as he looked out the door. He'd been complaining all morning since Bella left with the vampire chick, and quite frankly, Leah was fed up. Too bad she seemed to be the only one, as the rest of the pack turned to look at Leah with disdain and anger, but Leah merely rolled her eyes and shook her head in disappointment. She knew she wasn't the most favorite member of the pack; in fact, she knew she was at the bottom of the hierarchy for a multitude of reasons. None of them made any sense, but considering she never wanted this in the first place, she didn't have it in her to care all that much. She looked toward Jacob with narrowed eyes. "You're so hung up on her, you don't even realize she's completely using you," she snarled out. "She doesn't love you, not in the way you love her."

"I said shut UP!" Jacob roared, making his way to tower over Leah from her place on the couch. His eyes burned with anger, but there was a hint of panic, a hint of desperation, that had Leah internally wincing at her words. She knew they were true, but she also knew it wasn't the best way to tell him, mainly because it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Leah, that's enough." Sam finally spoke out, his voice giving off a warning tone. Scoffing, Leah moved to leave the house before she was stopped by Seth's voice. "Don't worry about her Jake, she's just bitter." Turning around, she stared at her brother in betrayal as his words cemented in her mind. Very faintly, she could make out the giggles and agreements coming from some of the pack members, but she was able to tune them out. She knew Seth idolized Jacob, and he had often spoken out about her behavior, but he knew how much it hurt her when Sam broke up with her. She remembered as he threatened to punch him for hurting his sister, her protective little brother. At the time, she was assured that she at least still had Seth, even if her parents sided with Sam and Emily. She still had her little brother by her side, but time changed many things.

"I have every reason to be bitter," she growled out. Pointing to Jacob, she continued, "He's hung up on a girl that only came to him because she saw him as a second option. She tried to use him to get over her leech of an ex, and the moment she could, she dropped Jake like a sack of potatoes to go chase after him." Looking around her, she could see the moment the realization hit them all, and their expressions instantly turned into ones of sympathy for Jacob. Leah fully believed it was because Bella happened to be in love with a vampire, and thus, they didn't understand why she'd want to be with one in the first place. But she could also see it came from a place of brotherhood and friendship. To have it so plainly laid out just how hurt their friend was by Bella's actions was eye-opening for them. Leah understood both sides perfectly fine, which is why it made her angry that they couldn't spare her an ounce of sympathy for her own plight.

Sighing, she shook her head again. "You all are such hypocrites," she whispered. "Such horrible fucking hypocrites," she turned to leave again, but Jacob's voice stopped her.

"Oh, come off it, Leah," he exclaimed. "We have to deal with your inability to get over Sam every damn day, so you can't get mad at me. You're just as pathetic as I am," he said.

As much as Leah didn't want to believe what she was hearing, she could only stare at Jacob as the words tumbled out of his mouth. Silence reigned in the house for a moment before Leah walked up to Jacob and promptly punched him in the jaw. Crouching down above him, Leah ignored the cries of outrage from her fellow pack members; she only had eyes for Jacob, and those eyes, she was sure burned with a rage she'd never felt before.

"Listen, you whiny asshole," she hissed, "What happened between Sam, my cousin, and I is nothing, NOTHING like what happened between you and Bella. I had an actual relationship with Sam for 3 years, the last of which was spent making plans for the rest of our lives." Grabbing his shirt, she pulled Jacob to her again before punching him in the jaw, making sure to hit him in the same place. "And then he disappeared on me for 2 weeks and the moment he gets back? He imprints on my fucking cousin, and the entire time I'm having to play catch up."

From the corner of her eye, she saw the moment her cousin entered the room with her mother right behind her. For a moment, Leah wanted to look up just to see the expressions on everyone's faces but ultimately decided to keep staring at Jacob. She could deal with everything else later; no doubt there was going to be fallout, but at this point, she was past caring. "Since then, I've been told constantly to get over it, that he couldn't help it, that he couldn't control it, but how the fuck is that supposed to help me, huh?" This time, she did look up and took in every expression she saw, which was a mixture of shame from Sam, Emily, and Sue, anger mainly from her younger brother, which was a can of worms she was simply going to ignore for now, and discomfort from the rest of the pack. She turned her attention back to Jacob, finally letting go of his shirt. He immediately went to place his hand on his face, where she could see the beginning of a bruise.

"I was expected to get over a three-year relationship in less than a year. That same very year, I turned into this goddamn curse, which enabled me to hear every fucking thought and every feeling Sam has about my cousin. I can't exactly get over it when I'm forced to be in their presence day in and day out. You've known Bella for only two years, during which she has constantly referred to you as her brother and best friend."

Laughing, Leah dropped her head before stepping away from Jacob as he lay clutching his rapidly bruising jaw.

"When she finally initiated a relationship, it wasn't because she liked you; it was because you were convenient," Leah spoke softly this time; she truly wanted to empathize with Jacob, but she couldn't because he wasn't like her. He never had a relationship with Bella, he only imagined what they could be, and maybe, given time, Bella might have come to like him back, but that was always a big maybe. She and Sam had started to plan out a potential life together; they thought about the possibility of marriage and children. She lost three years of her life only to learn that the feelings Sam held for her completely disappeared in less than a second. Every plan, every kiss, and every touch they shared between the two of them meant nothing to him the moment he laid eyes on Emily. So no, she wouldn't empathize with Jacob when he had none of that. He had a wild imagination and fruitless thoughts, and the inability to see was right in front of him even when nothing was blocking his way. She could however sympathize with him because Bella had led him on, she played with his emotions and who knows what else. Regardless of everything that's happened, Jacob was still her friend and her brother; she hated what Bella was putting him through because, as much of a dick he's being right now, he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve to give someone so much of himself and get his heart broken in response.

"You still have time to move on, Jake, and you have nothing standing in your way of that. That's more than I ever got; you should count yourself lucky." With that, Leah turned and walked out of the house, ignoring the calls for her name. She walked out of the house and into the sun, taking a deep, fortifying breath. She could feel the tears as they fought to make their way out of her eyes, and she ran. For a moment she wanted to phase, but she knew the moment she did, the entire pack would feel it and come looking for her, and they didn't deserve to have access to her emotions. Not right now; they did not get that ability. Right now, Leah's tears, her pain, and her emotions were hers to have and hers alone. She vowed then and there that this was the last time. This was the last time she'd ever allow them to make her feel so alone.