In hindsight, the answer was simple. I was here because I wanted to be. I could see it, clear as day. After all, what kind of psychotic idiot would choose a life like this one? Me, of course. I'd died that day. I'd died from a head wound, or bleeding out, or shock, or the half dozen things that went wrong with my decision to introduce some excitement into my relationship by tandem diving. Here's a little bit of advice for you, my descendant reading this. Never go on dangerous trips with women you've cheated on. I mean, in my defence, she did say she'd forgiven me. But considering she was as good a liar as I was, I should have seen the red flags a mile away.

That's enough of that, for now. Yes I died, but that's not where the story ended. Dare I say, it was where everything started. Like all my life before death was some sort of prologue. Some first chapter of an infinitely long book still in the process of being written. The real story starts with the answer to the age old paradox. Is there life after death? For me? Yes. For you? I have no fucking idea. Fuck you.

When I died, I met someone, or something at the end of the universe, at least that's what it called it. It had worn my face as easily as I had and told me it had an opportunity to offer me. Rebirth, it had called it. Not even like the Hindus, but real rebirth with memories and shit in an anime world it had already chosen. I'd been tempted to say No out of hand, but once it had mentioned that I'd be ending up in the world of Naruto with the power to make my life naught but a game, I'd been jumping at the idea. When it gave me the power to choose my body, it had become even more attractive.

That's how I ended up here. I chose to be born in this body, universally hated by all, not even regarded as human by my father and siblings. Even now, knowing what I did, I'd take it all again. The options had not been numerous. The titular character had way too much attention on him from the beginning for me to think that a romp in his body wouldn't land me in a cell of some sort. Besides, he was integral to the plot. The same plot I intended to take full advantage of at some point. Fucking around in the body of Naruto Uzumaki guaranteed that everything I knew would happen in the anime would never even happen. In a similar vein, the members of the Konoha 9 were similarly crossed out. Not like I'd ever even considered any of them not named Uchiha Sasuke in the first place. Uchiha Itachi was a no-go, and considering I wasn't going to be one of the two surviving members, there was no chance I'd accept reincarnation into a clan with the grim reaper knocking on their door. Neji Hyuga and Rock Lee, the other characters from a similar enough generation were ruled out quickly as well. One had a glorified slave brand on his forehead, and the other couldn't use chakra or do much ninja bullshit. Hell no.

In the end, my choice had to logically be my favourite character. Was there some bias? Of course. A fuck ton. Gaara had as many reasons not to go for him as any other of the characters, but he was my favourite so fuck that. My game, my rules. I was reborn in Gaara at the moment of Childbirth, and before I even heard the words of Shukaku, the One-tailed Racoon, a notification came in that Gamer's mind had silenced his voice and his influence. It had been a risk, but after I confirmed with the being at the end of the universe, I'd been sure as I could be that Gamer's mind would work in suppressing the tailed beast's psyche. If it hadn't, I'd have been fucked and stuck using my one elective course on psychology to try treating a millenia's worth of insanity. Not a fun outcome at all.

My stats had come in then, and I'd been blown away. Gaara's body was legitimately perfect. Shukaku had been sealed in him while he was in the womb. This body had grown and developed to fit the chakra of the tailed beast. If there was ever a body perfectly made to host a tailed beast, this would be it. I was born with level 50 sand control, and since I guessed that skills maxed out at level 100, I was already halfway there. The scary part was that even with only level 50 control, the sand did whatever I wanted it to. I'd tried grinding it throughout infanthood, but I'd literally gained only a single level from all that practice. My chakra? Practically infinite and continuously growing. Not growing by much, mind you. My working theory was that the combination of Gamer's mind and Gamer's body had done something to fuse Shukaku and I. His chakra, at least. His mind and will had been purged with extreme prejudice, but that good chakra was all mine. It let me control the sand like it was one of my limbs. I regenerated practically instantly, and I was already beginning to suspect that higher levels of Sand control would allow me turn my body into fucking sand. Well, not suspect. I had it confirmed. When I'd tried turning my hand into sand, a little popup appeared telling me I needed level 75 Sand Control for that. The Gamer was broken with those two abilities alone, and when you added the ability to view everything in a series of stats, know exactly what needed improving, and could see your skills improving in a real time progress bar, I was God. Not yet, but soon. Sage of Six Paths? I'd fuck him seven ways to Sunday eventually.

I'd come into this world six years ago, and today was the day I took my first step into the wider ninja world. I'd be joining the academy. Yashamaru had been really cute when he raised the idea like I'd had any other choice. He'd made it seem like it was up to me to make the decision, but I'd never delighted in self-deceit. For all the power I had right now, any Jonin could fuck me seven ways to Sunday, so my Kage Father was so far above me it wasn't even something to consider. If I'd ever said no, I'd have been made to attend one way or the other. Besides, I wanted to be a ninja. I loved power, and my desire to be a contrarian shit wouldn't be getting in the way of that. Speaking of Yashamaru, he served as my primary caretaker as from the moment I'd been weaned, I was kept separately from my family and raised by the Chunin, constantly surrounded by Anbu that didn't even bother to hide. I could see why Gaara had been so insane in the anime. Me? I couldn't care less. I loved the solitude. Whenever I got bored, it just took a quick walk into the personal library they'd built me once I conveyed my desire to read. There was always something to read there. It was almost like they feared me getting bored. I could see why though. Last time I was bored, I'd considered killing Yashamaru to make sure canon stayed the same and ended up accidentally levelling enough Killing Intent at him to make the young man almost attack me in self defence. Another thing I'd inherited from Shukaku. Massive fucking Killing Intent. Nowhere near as powerful as his, of course. His psychotic impulses that added a certain je ne sais quoi to regular killing intent were gone, so I had to make do with the vanilla shit.

We walked to the academy, and looked, to all, the world like a regular family. Just an older brother walking his sibling to school. Except, all the world knew exactly what I was and would never draw such a conclusion. It was my first time outside the compound I'd grown up in, and the looks I received were properly amusing. I wondered how they recognised me so easily, but it was a fleeting thought, and quickly abandoned in favour of examining the quest I'd received this morning. The first quest I'd gotten in six years. I'd just woken up and saw it floating right in the centre of my vision.

Quest; Graduate the Academy in One Year.

Rewards; Ten Stat Points. 20,000 XP. Not being in the Academy.

Penalty; Five years of the Suna Academy.

I'd considered rejecting the quest immediately. Graduating in one year was a massive middle finger to canon. I mean, at least I thought it was. It was unknown when Gaara actually graduated the academy, and wasn't particularly relevant to anything, but the fact was that there was no way I'd be remaining a Genin for five years if I graduated in one. I'd be fucking with canon, and bad things happen to ninja who meddle with canon, Harry. But on the other hand, could I spend five years around a bunch of children? Maybe? That's why I decided to hold off on accepting or rejecting the quest till after my first day.

"Welcome everyone. This is your first day at the Sunagakure Shinobi Academy, and for this year, we'll be covering reading and writing, along with basic arithmetic and physical exercise" The teacher said as she handed out the syllabus booklets. Syllabi more like, since they'd not bothered to separate the outlines for each individual year. Looking through everything, I quickly clicked accept. I was not going to spend two weeks of my life on addition. It would not happen. Of course, after accepting the quest, I realised that I had no idea how to apply for quick graduation. Well that's a massive oversight.
In my defence, …. Nothing. I had no defence. The lack of forethought was disgusting but not unexpected. This is exactly the kind of decision making that had me making a sex tape with someone who very much wasn't my girlfriend and leaving it on my unlocked phone.

Luckily, my problems were solved when the teacher (or Sensei, I guess?)asked those who wanted to test out of the first year to wait behind. I sat still, along with three other children and tried my best to ignore the looks they kept shooting me. None of them, not even the Chunin teacher were able to hide the fear they felt of me. She actually tripped as she walked over to the end of the class to hand me my question paper. I guess now that they were stuck alone with me without the safety of numbers, their fear was skyrocketing. It was almost sad.

I looked through the questions and scoffed. It was all too easy. Much too easy. I mean, that was to be expected, considering I'd made it all the way to Uni in my first life. I finished in less than five minutes. Any other child would have been met with a patronising look and an offer to explain the questions if they'd gone to submit so early. For me? It was a look of fear and silence. That suited me just fine though.

I walked out to Yashamaru and asked the Chunin, who looked like he'd been waiting there throughout the school day a simple question. "Can you teach me? Like Taijutsu and all that stuff. School is boring"

"Of course, Gaara. Of course" He replied, ceding to my wishes instantly, and I received a notification that I'd completed the quest. What the actual fuck?

A/N; Yes, an SI into Gaara. How's this looking? I had lots of fun writing this, so that might mean I actually manage to stick to it. Let's see. With Oak coming to its final arc, I should have some time to devote to this, and I already have a good idea as to what I want to achieve with this.