Disclaimers: Not mine

Spoilers: Nope



"This better be good, Grissom."

"Did I not promise you a good time?"


"And have I ever broken a promise?"



"Can you hurry it up? I don't have all day."

"Patience is a virtue, my dear."

"So is being punctual. At the rate you're moving at, my massage won't be half-done by the time shift starts."

"Shift just ended, Catherine."


"Will you stop rushing me? Now take your clothes off and get under the towel."

"Sure know how to turn a girl on, don't you, Grissom?"

"You really enjoy making me feel uncomfortable, don't you?"

"Now why would you say that? Hey, you want a striptease?"


"Ok, ok! I was just kidding. Are you going to turn around or are you just going to keep staring?"

"Sorry, I'll turn around."

"So are you this awkward with all your clients?"

"No, just you. But that might be because you're my only client."

"Should I feel special?"

"You should. Can I turn around now?"

"Yeah, I'm all covered up. Nothing to see."

"Ok, how about some oil first?"

"Whoa! You sure are happier to see me than Alejandro ever was."

"What? Oh...that was just the bottle of oil, Cath."

"Sure it was...oooh..."

"Catherine, I've barely began the massage and already you're moaning like there's no tomorrow."

"Hey, Alejandro liked me loud."

"There's so much about that statement that I don't want to know."

"I'll stop moaning if that's what you want."

"It's not so much the noise that I don't like. It's just that if you don't stop, I'm afraid it won't be the bottle of oil you feel next time."

"You know, I'm already naked..."

"Don't remind me."

"Grissom, I never knew you were this...horny."

"I think it's the candles and the oil and..."

"Me naked?"

"Yeah. Look, I don't know what kind of extras Alejandro gave you but I only give massages, ok?"

"Hmm...Gil Grissom, masseur by day, CSI by night. Professional either way."