Note: I hadn't read X-men in awhile, I'd gave up the comics for a time due to lack of funds and not really liking what they did with Jono. Then I heard about Northstar and his crush on Bobby-how could I not scrap together some money and start reading again? Will it happen? The slasher in me hopes and the pessimist in me thinks the slasher in me needs a dose of reality. This is the part where I sigh and say there is always fanfic. With that in mind I'm going to say that I didn't realize so much time had gone between updates in Pretty Girl-I'm getting back to it, sorry and thanx for being patient. Hope you like this.
Warning: If you can't tell by the ship in the summary this is male slash if you're for any reason uncomfortable with that you should leave. This piece is mostly Iceman/Northstar but there is a hint of Iceman/Gambit. Enjoy.
He could melt me.
That's what I think when I look at Jean-Paul, that if I were to kiss him I'd melt. When you get down to it that's a silly thought, but never the less true. I'm basically frozen, the Iceman, so logically I can melt, right? I'd almost like him too, make me melt that is.
Bobby's straight right, is that what your thinking? I know, I'm good and that statement is basically close to the truth. I have never had a relationship or slept with another guy, but that doesn't mean I haven't been attracted to other men.
I can't help but notice things about the other guys and not be attracted to them. Have you ever taken a look at Kurt's face when he's really concentrating on something? Or Chamber's posture when he's sulking? Have you ever noticed the confidence in Scott's walk? Or Logan's 'don't fuck with me I don't give a shit' attitude? Or how absolutely brilliant Hank is? I mean is Beast an appropriate nickname for someone that intelligent? With Jean-Paul though I notice everything, not just one aspect, and that's never really happened before. It's kinda freaking me out.
Can't help it though he just eludes this grace that drives me nuts. He's handsome right down to his ears. How far gone am I if I'm thinking his ears are gorgeous? His eyes draw you in and his lips, don't even get me started on his lips.
When I finally dragged him to the Dining Commons to try and make up for the whole Josette incident it took all my self control not to lean over the table and kiss him. His lips are just distracting and so very kissable, but there was no way I was going to do that. It's just not something you do to another guy, especially when you think he's straight.
I was ready to have a fit when Annie told me he was 'openly homosexual'. The first thing I wanted to say was, "You mean I could have dragged him across the table, kissed him and there is a good chance he would have kissed me back instead of running from the room screaming? Or beating me to a bloody pulp?" I think with what I did manage to say I covered myself pretty well. Course then I kissed Annie which was nice, really nice actually. It didn't make me melt but it warmed me up. Course she managed to get the guy she wanted and I want to know does that mean I can have the guy I want?
I'm worried about the fallout from the whole Lorna/Alex/Annie thing too. I'm worried for Lorna. I still care about her, still love her even. I'll probably always love her, but its more in a warm way, not a heat-to-the-point of melting way. Thinking about kissing her doesn't make me want to self-combust into a puddle of Bobby water on the floor. Thinking about kissing Jean-Paul, well, it does.
If I did kiss him, he wouldn't be the first guy I've ever kissed either. This one time Remy and I got drunk together, weird to say the least. He was upset cause his relationship with Rogue had hit one of those frequent down-we are now broken up-times. I don't remember what I was upset about. So anyway we-okay, okay I'm lying. I wasn't drunk, the most I had was a sugar-high from the pop I was drinking. Remy might have had a something to drink, I honestly don't remember. Somehow we were in the rec room together watching a show I can't even remember. We were talking a bit here and there. We weren't even really having a conversation, just a word here or there. Somehow I made the comment that I'd never kissed another guy and Remy decided he'd better help me with that. What you didn't realize Gambit was bi? Come on, I'm dense and even I knew that. He's a really good kisser too, if you're wondering. The next day I got all red in the face embarrassed and didn't want to admit that it had happened so he let it go. Which was nice of him, he didn't have to do that.
I mean well think about it, if I were to suddenly start dating another guy my friends would probably think I'm a clone or a spy or that my body had been taken over, again. They'd never believe that hey maybe Bobby wants to be able to change. Don't get me wrong, this family I've got with the X-men is great, but were too close knit and there are just too many of us. We block people into stereotypes and expectations without giving them room to grow. We do it without even meaning too. It's maybe our greatest downfall. Sometimes I think I'll forever be stuck being the boy I was when I first came here. Its then that I usually lash out at someone. I'm a cold jerk sometimes, but what do you expect I am made out of ice. I'm just becoming my mutation. Great excuse, huh?
I tried to tell Annie that, about my fear that I will just become one block of ice. I think the whole it spinning into kiss made the point I was trying to make get shuttled to the side. I'm scared and I'm cold. I've never really felt my own cold like this before, but now it's overwhelming and I want to melt before all that is left is the ice.
Yet I'm scared to melt too, what if all that is left is a puddle that can evaporate into nothing? What if in the end I'm really nothing? Yeah I know-run Bobby's gone crazy.
I know Jean-Paul could melt me. There's this underlying heat too him. So I finally worked up some nerve, caught him in the hallway with every intent on saying something, anything, to make him realize I had a crush.
He looked at me quietly after I greeted him. I remember thinking that he was nervous, but I quickly dismissed that. I'm not totally dense, like I could ever make him nervous.
I said, "Some of us decided we needed a break, you know day out mall thing, interested?"
He gave me a frown that made me feel he was disapproving of something before he replied drying, "I think not."
"I..." I started with my mind screaming for me to say something anything maybe even, 'can I kiss you' or ask him to melt me. Then I imagined his laughter at my words and how he'd brush me aside thinking I was being a jerk and merely playing him at a joke.
"Suit yourself," I finally managed.
He gave me the hint of a smile as he thanked me for asking and walked away. I wanted to call out to him. I really wanted to kiss him. I could practically feel his lips on mine, his tongue in my mouth, my tongue in his, our lips pressed against each other again and again. I want to say something anything.
Instead, for once, I bite my tongue and watch him walk away. Jean-Paul, he's confident and accomplished and me, well I'm still after all this time just Frost-Boy. There are others out there that could offer him so much more then I ever could. Why would he ever be interested in me?