Summary: Jaune bleaches his hair white and Weiss calls him by a strange name… Onii-Chan.

White Washed


Sponsored by the Cabal

It was a dumb idea.

Jaune was, after all, already blonde.

But he wanted to be blonder.

After Portman's Grimm Theory Class, Jaune overheard Weiss talking about how much more mature Neptune was because of his elegant and well kept hair. Jaune figured he could use a hair cut. Hell, he could even use more color. His sisters always pestered him for smoother, more elegant hair.

And so it was. Jaune took a trip to the local Vale Mart to get a bottle of the finest Schnee-O'Real. Unfortunately, Jaune failed chemistry. He also wasn't really good at actually reading the labels.

He bought Schnee-O'Bleach instead.

Jaune went back to Beacon's dorm. Ren was helping him.

"Uh, Jaune buddy. You sure about this?"

"Yes Ren. I am absolutely sure."

"Yeah, but are you absoluuuutely sure?'

"Yes, Ren! Now hit those chemicals on my hair dammit!"

So Ren obliged.

When the towel was unwrapped from Jaune's head, he was giddy with excitement. His smile wide as Crescent Rose. Ren sighed. Norra was eating popcorn. Pyrrha stood in the corner of the dorm, kicking an imaginary rock and wishing she could make some special someone with perfectly acceptable hair dye their hair for her.

The towel dropped to the floor.

Jaune smiled at first, confused.

Then his lips twitched.

Slowly his Crescent Rose smile wilted into a Crescent Frown.


The next day Jaune wore a hat to class. He just wanted to get through Portman's Grimm Theory Class, book it to Vale Mart, and get something to turn his hair back to its golden blonde glory. It didn't matter that he had an embarrassing hairdo. Ruby with her superspeed easily snatched the hat off his head.

Jaune's secret was exposed to the world.

"Lovin' the new look, Jaune!" Ruby gave him a thumbs up.

Blake glanced up. "It's ok."

Yang grinned. "Less cheesecake and more marshmallow, eh cupcake?"

Jaune shook his head. "Yang, that makes no sense."

But Jaune really only cared about one person's opinion, that was Team RWBY's elegant and perfect Weiss Schnee. Weiss Schnee, as you may not already know since you're reading this fanfiction, is the heiress to the Schnee Dust Company which is completely irrelevant to the storyline of RWBY itself and supports the capitalist-military-complex that oppresses the faunus and downtrodden alike.

Jaune desperately wanted to know what Weiss thought of his new hair.

If it was anything short of 'Wow Jaune! You're so handsome. Go out with me! Pick me up at seven?' he was going to shave off his entire scalp and burn the barbershop floor.

Then the words were blurted out.


And Weiss' eyes went wide.

The class went silent. All the pre-lecture whispering amongst the students had completely stopped. Jaune swore he could hear his own heartbeat.

Weiss covered her mouth. Red flooded her cheeks.


"I-I…" Weiss glanced around, looking at the various expressions forming amongst their friends. "I don't know what it means. I just… it felt right to say. I-"

Yang grabbed Weiss into a headlock. "Say it again!"

Blake leaned closer, her ribbon piqued in curiosity.

"It was strange… and lewd. I would also like you to say it again."

Ruby joined in. "Say it! Say it! Say it!"

Ren and Nora joined the chant. The chant slowly grew louder and louder. Even Pyrrha, normally looking as defeated as Ironwood's opponent in a free and fair election, had a soft smile and joined the rest.


Jaune saw Weiss' discomfort. He moved forward and grabbed her hand.

"Come on Weiss. Let's go." Jaune turned to the crowd. "Back off! All of you!"

Weiss could only avert her gaze as she felt Jaune's soft hand on hers.

"T-thank you, Onii-chan…"

Weiss' eyes grew wide. She didn't know what came over her. She covered her mouth again. The words slipped so easily past her lips like water through a sieve.

The entire class gasped.

Then they looked at each other, grinning irresistibly.

And then cheered.

"She said it! She said it! She said it!"

Jaune had enough. He grabbed Weiss' arm and pulled her out of class, pushing aside Professor Port who curled his mustache and said, "well those two are going to miss my lesson on Grimm and their influence on modern media and Bleach."

After running through the halls and a flight of stairs, Jaune and Weiss found an empty classroom as refuge.

"Have you calmed down yet?" Jaune asked as they caught their breath.

"Yeah. And thanks for saving me," Weiss said, folding her arms.

"No problem." Jaune gave Wiess a reassuring smile. "So what's an Onii-chan?"

"I don't know!" Weiss screamed. "It just… the words just came to me.

"Where did it come from?"

"I told you I don't know, Onii-chan!"

Silence fell between the two of them.

"Weiss… what's my name?"

Weiss opened her lips. They twitched.

Then she gently whimpered, "O-Onii-chan…"

And so the pair realized that Weiss, for whatever reason, had an irresistible urge to call Jaune 'Onii-chan'. Thus, they agreed the best move was to practice in secret to get Weiss to call him Jaune again. But in the meanwhile, their classmates kept pestering Weiss to say the accursed word again.

So for the next few days, Jaune acted as Weiss' bodyguard.

He had to keep others away, especially the rest of Team RWBY and Nora, from doing their damndest to irk Weiss into speaking. Weiss simply reverted to writing off a notepad like she was in a far superior romantic comedy about someone with communication disorders and wanted to make at least a 100 friends.

Jaune even accompanied Weiss to a dentist appointment about her snaggletooth, aka the 'fang'.

Some might say they looked like brother and sister. Their closest friends would say they were just friends. But only the most discerning eyes could see they could break through the social constructs that prevent people who share at least 50% of their parent DNA from engaging in romantic relationships. These people are freaks.

Days later, the pair sit in the Beacon Academy Courtyard enjoying a lunch that Weiss suddenly had an urge to make. She wanted to thank Jaune for all his efforts in protecting her from the mob of students eager to hear another whisper of that damned word. She had no idea where the recipe came from, it just felt so natural to her. They were in plastic boxes, with rice and seaweed folded into the shape of cute bears with fried octopus sausages, deep fried chicken, and assorted boiled veggies.

Jaune in turn, had brought some drinks from the vending machine.

"You know, O-Onii… Jaune!" Weiss sucked in a deep breath, trying to break the urge to say the forbidden word. "Jaune. You're not so bad."

"Heh. Thanks. Keep that up and I'll start to think you might like me or something."

Weiss rolled her eyes, crossed her arms, and sighed.

"It's not like I like you or anything, b-baka!"

And Weiss' eyes went wide again.

White Washed Fin

Sponsored by the Cabal