Author's Note: Yes, I've finally updated... Well, I thank all of you for your votes and reviews! They really mean a lot! Now... Onto the story!

Warning: This fanfiction contains mentions of slash (same-sex relationships). You've been warned.

Stuck in Idiotville

by Lady Stone

Padfoot happily bounced up, dragging Moony with him, and he rushed over to the Gryffindor Table to scarf down some breakfast. Moony allowed himself to be dragged, considering he was in a state of shock and embarrassment.

Wormtail attempted to get off the floor, but as soon as he stood up he passed out in shock and fell over - onto Prongs. Prongs kicked the heavy boy off and chased after Moony and Padfoot towards the table.

Snape stood up carefully, casting a glance around the room, as all the occupants starred in awe and confusion at him. Snape - who's most defiantly not used to being the center of attention - felt nauseous and rushed out of the Great Hall and to the nearest bathroom. Which unfortunately happened to be a girl's bathroom...

The Great Hall was still silent, until after a few moments the murmur of voices erupted once again around them. Prongs sighed in relief and watched Padfoot stuff his face with everything placed in front of him. Prongs let out a yelp as Padfoot accidentally munched down on his fingers.

"Sorwee, hout ey wer ootdoogs." Padfoot insisted with his mouth full.

Prongs glared at him and turned to Moony, who was sheet white and was rocking back and forth in his seat.

"Erm, Moony? You okay?" Prongs asked uncertainly.

Extremely slowly, Moony turned his head toward Prongs. His eyes were wide and he opened his mouth, but immediately closed it again as he quickly buried his face in his arms on the table.

Prongs raised an eyebrow and turned to see Lily sit down next to him.

"So, Potter. Been wondering where you and your little friends were." Lily remarked stiffly.

Prongs gave her a lopsided grin, "Noticed me, huh Evans?" He said cheekily.

Lily glared at him and rolled her eyes, "Won't matter now, would it? Considering you were having you own 'fun' with the boys..." She smirked evilly and stood up, and walked away.

Prongs gaped after her, "She didn't mean... Didn't mean-"

Moony lifted his head up, "That we were having a steamy hot shagging session for hours on end in a very dark room?" He said breezily.

Prongs looked at him in horror. "That's not what everyone thinks!? IS IT!?" He madly looked over at the door that they had collapsed through, as though he would find a huge sign reading: "THE MARAUDERS AND SEVERUS SNAPE WERE HERE HAVING A STEAMING HOT SHAGGING SESSION FOR HOURS ON END IN THIS VERY DARK ROOM!" over the door.

But he just found a sign reading: "DO NOT ENTER - DOOR LOCKS AFTER ENTRY!" and someone (wonder who?) had painted neatly underneath: "Resting place of Eddie the Elf - RIP".

Prongs turned wildly on Moony and whined, "Do they all think that...?" He whispered.

Moony shrugged, "Eh. Most likely."

Horrified, Prongs turned on Padfoot to see what his reaction was.

Padfoot was eating three pieces of toast, and telling a group of girls how good Moony was in the sack and how Snape and Prongs prefer bondage. How he managed all this at once, one shall never know.

"PADFOOT!?" Prongs screamed and pulled Padfoot away from the girls and out of the Great Hall. Prongs looked over his shoulder to see the group of girls waving flirtatiously at Moony while he attempted to drag Wormtail out of the Great Hall.

"What do you think you're doing!?" Prongs exploded as he shoved Padfoot.

Padfoot grinned and shrugged sheepishly. "I was telling the truth!"

"What the bloody Hell is THAT supposed to mean!?" Prongs fumed.

"Well... Moony is good in the sack... And I heard you muttering about bondage in your sleep..."

"What about Snape!?" Prongs hissed.

Padfoot was silent. "That's for me to know... And for you to not find out." He grinned.

"UGH!" Prongs yelled and stomping his foot into the ground. "This is awful! Now everyone thinks I'm gay!"

"Or desperate. Either way." Padfoot shrugged.

Prongs glared furiously at him. Moony finally made it to the two while pulling Wormtail behind him. "Uh, you guys? I think we need to get Wormtail to the hospital wing."

"He can do it himself!" Prongs yelled at Moony, who raised an eyebrow and looked down at the unconscious boy.

"Sure he can, Prongs... Sure he can."

Padfoot chuckled. "Come now, Prongsy! Let's get the rat to the hospital wing. Maybe we can get you some medication for your sexual frustration."

"I'm not sexually frustrated!" Prongs snapped.

"Well, either am I." Padfoot said and winked at Moony, who gave him a warning glance and then thought better of it, and clomped him on the back of his head.

"Owie." Padfoot frowned and rubbed his head.

"You deserved it." Moony said huffily and crossed his arms. "Prongs really is going to think we're snogging."

Prongs' anger died down and he looked at the two in confusion. "You mean you're not...?"


"Well then... Off we go to the hospital wing!" Padfoot said cheerily and lifted up Wormtail's limp body and walked off. Prongs stilled was confused and Moony patted him comfortably on the back.

"I know this is a lot for you to handle, Prongs. All of this on the same day..." Moony shook his head sadly. "But, you will feel better soon enough."

Prongs nodded numbly. "I'm so confused." He sighed.

Within a few short moments, the four had made it to the hospital wing unharmed... That is, if you don't count Padfoot accidentally tripping and dropping Wormtail down three flights of stairs. But, he was already unconscious, who's going to know?

While Wormtail was checked up on, the other three sat on the bed next to him. Then, Snape walked inside the hospital wing, still looking a little on the nauseous side. He stopped after seeing The Marauders, and turned to walk away before they noticed him.

"'Ello, Snivellus!" Padfoot yelled loudly. Snape sighed and turned back around.

"What do you want, Black?" He snapped angrily.

"You know, I feel so close to you from spending so much time together and all!" Padfoot grinned wickedly.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Oh, very close."

"Yup, like best friends!" Padfoot added.

All of a sudden, Snape's eyes welled up. "You can never replace Eddie, you hear me!? NEVER!" With that, Snape ran crying from the room.


Padfoot turned to look at Prongs and Moony, who's eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

"Well, that was... Odd." Prongs said slowly.

"I sort of feel bad for him... He's so pathetic." Moony sighed and shook his head sympathetically.

"Nah. He's just an idiot." Padfoot insisted.

"No, you're an idiot." Prongs stated.

"You are!" Padfoot argued.

"You both are." Moony sighed.

Wormtail sat up in the next bed and blinked slowly. "We're all idiots..." Then, to Moony's horror, he added, "Now, who's up for a session of Jingle Bells?"

--The End--

Author's Note: It's all done. I know it's not the funniest chapter ever... But I needed a chapter where it ended with a little more than a cliffhanger... But guess what?


There just might be some sort of sequel... Oops! Said too much already!



Thank-you all so much! I'd never would have continued if you guys hadn't helped me along! I mean, who couldn't want to continue on with the chapters when you have over 300 reviews! I hope you all enjoyed this series as much as I enjoyed making it!

So long!


For now!