Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda Ocarina of Time. And neither does Billy Bob the pillow. So there.


Raru: Oh crap! We have to get ready, we don't have time!

Ruto: What's wrong, Raru?



Saria: *inhales some powder*



*crickets chirp*

Impa: *shrugs*

All: *resumes screaming*

Suddenly, everything falls silent!

Zelda: *in Professor Umbridge voice © * Hello everyone!

All: *dully* Hello, Zelda . . .

Zelda: I can't hear you!

All: Hello Zelda!

Zelda: Very nice! Now, I have something special for you today!

Ruto: Did Link come along?!

Zelda: *eyes become like windmill dude as adult* FOR THE LAST TIME, NO!!!

Ruto: Forget you, then.

Zelda: Ruto, go to time out!

Ruto: No!

Zelda: Yes!

Ruto: NO!

Zelda: YES!


Zelda: Just shut up and stand in the corner.

Ruto: *flicks her off behind her back*

Zelda: Okay, everybody, today I have with me a dictionary!

*crickets chirp*

Raru: Crap, I knew I forgot something. Link took our last bottle of insecticide. Something about skulltula . . .

Raru: Aren't skulltula arachnids?

All: --U

Zelda: If you don't all shut up soon, I'll decide that you aren't mature enough to handle my surprise.

All: *shut up*

Zelda: Very good! I now have with me the most amazing, wonderful, spectacular . . .


Zelda: Incredible . . .

Raru: Get to the point!

Zelda: Mango!

Saria: You mean you don't have candy?

Zelda: No.

All: *sigh and wander off*

Zelda: But it's a blue Mango!

Saria: Your point?

Zelda: A blue mango from the sacred tree of which came the OCARINA OF TIME!!!

All: WOW!!!

Ruto: *comes back from corner* Hold on . . . The ocarina is a carved fruit?

Saria: Yeah . . .

All: WOW!

Zelda: What?

Raru: They just AGREED!

Zelda: Wonderful girls! Friendship is a great thing! I'm so glad to see you have solved your internal conflict!

Saria: It's her fault.

Ruto: Was not!

Saria: Was too!



All: --U

Zelda: Anyway . . .

Ruto: I SAID the Ocarina of Time is actually a carved fruit?!

Zelda: Why, yes. I thought everyone knew that! An ocarina is typically defined as a carved vegetable that can be played like a flute.

All: Ooooooooo . . .

Raru: Overachiever . . .

Zelda: ^________________^

Darunia: *walks in with six McDonald's Happy Meals* Hey everybody, I'm back!

All: *bowing down to blue mango*

Darunia: What the #$&%$?

Link: Yo dogs!

All: *bowing down to blue mango*

Link: Dude, what's going on? Ruto? Saria?

Ruto and Saria: *continue to bow with glazed look in eyes*

Link: *turns to only remotely sane looking one in room* Yo, bro, what's shakin'?

Darunia: I . . . don't . . . know! I came in and they were all worshipping the fruit.

Link: Why the fruit, dog?

Darunia: It is derived of the sacred tree of the Ocarina of Time!

Link: AHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm deathly allergic to mangoes! I'm DOOOOOOOMED!!! *breaks out in boils*

Darunia: It is the dreaded mango cult! AIEEEEEEEEEE!

Link and Darunia: *run in circles*

All: *bow down to the mango*


So, what did you think? Review away!