Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them all in. Everything else belongs to somebody else and that's just the way it's going to be as far as I can tell. Thanks for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy this little parody of mine lol.

Act of Plan Hatching

Watching her go Matt moved into the shadows, a grin on his handsome face. "O blessed, blessed night! I am afeard. Being in night, all this is but a dream, too flattering-sweet to be substantial. Did I really propose what I think I did? Ye gads but this woman doth teach the heart to burn and my head to think crazy thoughts."

Reappearing in time to hear his comment Rika walked over to stand in front of him. "I've got three words for you, pal and then it's good night indeed. If that thy intentions to help be honorable, thy purpose truly marriage, send me word to-morrow, by one that I'll procure to come to thee, where and what time thou wilt perform the rite and all my fortunes at thy foot I'll lay to follow thee into whatever trouble our actions should cause. Personally, I don't expect to hear from you." She added with a smirk, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Rika! Get your ass back in here!" Came Alice's stern and not at all pleased voice from within Rika's room. "Don't think I don't know who's out there or that I won't kick his ass for trespassing."

"He's trying to help me come up with a plan so I don't have to marry Henry!" Was Rika's laughing response, obviously not worried in the least.

"Oh. Well in that case..carry on."

"So anyway, Matt.."

"My dear?"

Giving him a not amused look Rika continued. "At what o'clock to-morrow, shall I send to thee?"

"Nine work for you?"

"I will not fail: 'tis twenty years till then. Now you should go."

"Oh wait I...dammit.. I have forgot why I did call thee back." Sending him a sheepish look Rika waved her hand in dismissal.

"Let me stand here till thou remember it." Hoping that the longer he stayed the more he'd grow on her Matt turned around to face her, a beguiling grin on his face. Noting the way the light from within shone through her nightgown Matt forgot any reason why he might want to leave in the next century.

Reading him easily enough Rika smirked in response to his typical male behavior. Deliberately stepping away from the light she bit back a grin at his sound of disappointment. "I shall forget, to have thee still stand there, remembering how I love thy company."

"No need for sarcasm." Leaning back against the railing Matt was smart enough not to push his luck any further. They were on a balcony after all and she looked strong enough, not to mention mean enough, to push him over the side if he pissed her off too much. "I would I were thy renamon, that I might see you always."

"That would be sweet, yet I should kill thee with much cherishing. Good help is so hard to find after all." Winking Rika figured she'd stayed out as late as she dared, especially since Alice was probably lurking nearby so that she could hear everything that was being said. "Anyway, nine o'clock it is. Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow."

Grinning, Matt called out to her as she reentered her bed chambers. "Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast! Would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest! Hence will I to my ghostly father's cell, His help to crave, and my dear hap to tell." With a saucy salute Matt turned to begin the long climb down, praying that the dobermons didn't eat him on his way out. Their mistress would not be pleased.

"Hmm...should we include the Friar scene, Takato?" Jeri asked, looking up from her typing. "I mean couldn't we just say Matt went to the Friar and talked him into marrying them."

"I don't see why we couldn't. I mean it's not really all that important, is it?" Personally Takato could have cared less, he was pretty happy just to leave the story in Jeri's hands. The digimon, who didn't even know the story in detail, were contributing more than he was.

"So Matt's not going to get eaten by a Dobermon, huh?" Terriermon asked, looking just a little disappointed over that fact. It wasn't that he didn't like Matt, it was just that this was getting a little too mushy for his tastes. Matt getting into a brawl with a dobermon would be a lot cooler than talking weird with Rika.

"Of course not." Shaking her head at him Lopmon wouldn't hear of it. "He can't marry Rika if he's in the hospital recovering from an attack, much less dead."

"She has a point." Renamon agreed, even though, like Terriermon, she was getting a bit annoyed with all the mush and no action. Not only that, but she was getting the distinct impression that this mush was to continue for the foreseeable future.

"Back to the story, guys! Back to the story!"

"Okay, Calumon. Back to the story."

It was a bright, sunny morning and Davis and Tai were on the look out for their friend Matt, who still had yet to appear since the party. "Where the devil could Matt be? Came he not home to-night?" Davis was saying, opting to worry about his friend rather than think about the fact that Tai's sister Kari had once again refused to go out with him.

"Not to his father's; I spoke with his man." Shrugging Tai tried to hide how worried he was, without much success. Who knew what sort of trouble his best friend had found, in the mood he'd been.

"Ah, that same pale hardhearted wench, that Sora. Torments him so, that he will sure run mad."

"Don't talk about Sora like that. Tis not gentlemanly." Giving the idiot a dark look for speaking thus of Lady Sora Tai figured it was wise to change the subject before Davis said something to make it necessary for him to call him out. "By the way, Davis, Kazu, the kinsman of old Tamer, hath sent a letter to Matt's father's house."

"A challenge, on my life. Or Kazu's life in this case."

"Matt will answer it." Tai said grimly.

"Any man that can write may answer a letter. Though sending an e-mail is always cheaper." Chuckling at his own wit Davis didn't have to look in Tai's direction to know that he was pissing Tai off. Again. "I mean yeah, he probably will get into a fight with the guy. That's why we doth search for him, is it not?"

"And there he is!" Pointing over Davis's shoulder Tai gave a sigh of relief to see their friend in one piece. "You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night."

"Well Good morrow to you both too." Was Matt's smirking reply as he joined them on the sidewalk. "What counterfeit did I give you?"

"The slip, sir, the slip; can you not conceive?

"Pardon, good Davis, my business was great; and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy." Matt thought about adding that only an idiot would spend time with Davis when he could be with a hot chick but thought better of it. If he wanted to live long enough to see his wedding night it was best that no one else knew what he and the Tamer hellion were cooking up. Their parents were going to have cows.

"Well thou should have...wowee! Now that is a woman finely made by God with my many heartfelt thanks." Giving an appreciative little whistle under his breath Davis forgot all bout yelling at Matt as he stared appreciatively at the blond walking up the street towards them.

Grinning widely when she made a beeline for them Davis stepped in front of his friend's to intercept her, his chest all puffed out and Kari forgotten. "My dear lady, may I be of assistance to you, however unworthy I am of your presence?"

"Stuff it." Was Alice's short, pithy reply before turning to point a finger in Matt's direction. "I need to talk to you. Privately."

"Well you heard the lady." Taking Alice's arm Matt called out a good bye to his friend's before leading Alice away to a nearby alley where they would not be overheard. "Sorry about him."

" I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this, that was so full of himself?"

"An idiot, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month." Shrugging his shoulders Matt understood Alice's reaction completely. "He is more a friend to my brother than my own. Unfortunately my brother travels and Davis doth follow in my shadow out of grief. He did thinks to win the Lady Kari's hand will my brother was away."

"He ever looks at me like that again and I'm siccing the dobermons on him."

"Well that only seems fair. I will warn him most harshly." Not that it would do any good of course. But hey, at least at the funeral he'd be able to say he'd tried to help. If they ever recovered enough of the body to have a funeral for.

"Whatever. Rika bade me inquire you out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself: but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say: for the Rika is headstrong; and, therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing. In other words, double cross her and we'll both make a party out of your dismemberment."

"Yeah, I got that." Like that wasn't a no brainer, Matt thought with a smirk, something he'd been doing a lot in the last twenty four hours. What was it about Tamers, Matt wondered, that made him just want to shake his head and laugh till he could laugh no more. "Anyway, tell Rika to come to shrift this afternoon; and there she shall at Friar Laurence's cell be shrived and married."

"This afternoon, sir? Damn you work fast." Shaking her head over the whole thing Alice could only hope this wasn't going to blow up in their faces. It probably was, not that Rika would listen to her anyway. No, her mistress thought this was just the greatest idea ever and Alice could only wonder at the girl's twisted sense of humor. You know you're twisted when..."Well, she shall be there. I think."

"And stay, good nurse, behind the abbey wall." Matt advised, getting to the part about this whole wedding thing he was most looking forward to. "Within this hour my man shall be with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair; which to the high top-gallant of my joy must be my convoy in the secret night. Farewell; be trusty, and I'll quit thy pains: Farewell; commend me to thy mistress."

Yeah, she'd figured on him coming up with some sort of plan to get by that little problem. There wasn't a man alive who wouldn't move heaven and earth not to miss his wedding night. "Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir."

"What say'st thou, my dear ball buster?"

"Haha, thou art so very amusing." Was her sarcastic response to his little choice of endearment. " Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say, two may keep counsel, putting one away?" That was all they needed, someone spilling the beans on them and getting them all killed. Or worse, her Henry married to Rika.

"I warrant thee, my man's as true as steel. Gabumon would never fail me, not in a million years. That's Davis's job."

"Well, sir; my mistress is not the sweetest lady--Lord, Lord! when 'twas a little prating thing:--O, there
is a nobleman in town, one Henry Paris, that would fain lay knife into you if you betray us, least you think to do so in sport. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man, which he is. He will knowth of this plan if you break truce and then he wilt break you. Capice?"

"Capice." Matt agreed, deciding it was really time to go before the woman went into any detail about what else she'd do to him if he pissed her or her lady off. "Now I must bid you adieu. Until later, my lady."

"Be there or be dead."

"So is he coming or not?" Rika demanded to know as soon as Alice got back. Half of her was convinced it was all a joke while the other half said he was as twisted as she was and would go along with it for the hell of it. Besides, it had been his idea in the first place. Messing with her was never a good idea either and he had gotten a taste of her temper the night before, when Kazu and Kenta had interrupted them.

"I'm not even in the door and already fifty questions." Alice muttered, walking over to take a seat.

"That was only one question so hurry up and answer it! Is thy news good, or bad? answer to that; say either, and I'll stay the circumstance. Let me be satisfied, is't good or bad?

"Well one thing's for sure, you have made a simple choice; you know not how to choose a man: Matt! No, not he; though his face be better than any man's, I have to admit. Very yummy."

"Yeah and all this did I know before." Rika pointed out, giving her friend an annoyed look. "What says he of our marriage? what of that?"

Just to bug the hell out of her Alice deliberately avoided the question, just to drive Rika batty. "Lord, how my head aches! what a head have I! It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces. My back o' t' other side,--O, my back, my back! Beshrew your heart for sending me about, to catch my death with jaunting up and down!"

"Oh please, you're healthier then I. Now what, pray tell, did HE SAY!"

Sticking her tongue out at the lack of sympathy Alice wasn't about to stop now. "Your love says, like an honest gentleman, and a courteous, and a kind, and a handsome, and, I warrant, a virtuous,--Where is your mother?"

"Don't know, don't care. Alice!"

"Fine, he doth bid you hence to Friar Laurence' cell; there stays a husband to make you a wife."

"Wow. He was really serious?"

"Apparently serious enough that I must another way, to fetch a ladder, by the which your love must climb a bird's nest soon when it is dark." Was Alice's amused reply.

"It figures that that would be his chief concern."