THE MATRIX : A PARODY SCRIPT

A COMPUTER SCREEN. STUFF appears. Many NUMBERS scroll. A PHONE CONVERSATION is heard.

CYPHER: You weren't supposed to relieve me.

TRINITY: I know, but I felt like getting my pretty face into the movie as soon as possible.

CYPHER: Whatever. You like obsessively stalking him, don't you? He's gonna die.

TRINITY: Obviously you haven't read the script. Now shut up, I have to go and kick ass.

OUTSIDE in the STREET:

AGENT SMITH: Aren't I cool? Observe my bad-ass DARK GLASSES!

LEIUTENANT: .Which you wear at night. When it is dark.

AGENT SMITH: Do not MOCK the UBER-SHADES, insolent mortal! By the way, your men are dead.

LEIUTENANT: I think we can handle one little girl.

INSIDE: ONE LITTLE GIRL kicks some ASS.

TRINNITY: I'm really only in this movie for sex appeal. I kick lots of ass in tight leather.

MALE AUDIENCE: *drool*

TRINITY uses the PHONE.

MORPHEUS: Get out of there! The agents are coming for you. *spooky music*

TRINITY: Works for me - I get to run around in my tight black leather.

She DOES SO. An impressive CHASE SCENE (an essential in any successful action movie) ensues. TRINITY jumps IMPOSSIBLE DISTANCES, sails through a window and crashes down some stairs.

TRINITY: Yeah.Ouch v_V

She runs towards a PHONE, raced by a LARGE TRUCK.

TRINITY: Must..get..to.phone! I must have my four cheese pepperoni!

She picks up the PHONE and VANISHES.

AUDIENCE:...the hell? What's with the phones?

NEO'S APARTMENT. It is a typical COMPUTER GEEK paradise. NEO, a typical COMPUTER GEEK, is asleep in front of his computer.

FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE: *sigh*

COMPUTER: Wakie wakie.

NEO: Eh?

COMPUTER: The Matrix has you. Follow the white rabbit.

NEO: o_O.

COMPUTER: Knock, knock.

NEO: Ooh, who's there?

Who is there, it turns out, is the LEATHER BIKER CREW - a typical unshaven BIKER with his leather-clad SLUT. Unspecified ILLEGAL ACTIVITY occurs, involving a computer disk.

GUY: You okay? You look more pasty and blank than usual. Let's hit the dance floor.

NEO:..Of course, because I'm clearly SUCH a party animal -_-