Working Girls

by Artemis

Fourth in the "Man's World" Series, follows "Male Bonding."  The character abuse and plotless adventures continue!  This is a tad more ship heavy and a smidge of angst . . . Batman/Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl/Green Lantern, Hawkgirl/Other gasp!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.  I'm not making any money form this, or well, anything actually.  Also, much like "Law and Order" does without getting sued, some of this story is ripped, um, INSPIRED BY today's. . .um rather, May's headlines. ;)  And no resemblance to person's real or dead is intended.

btw. . . this is only the first half.  Rest will be posted soon, I hope!


"Right—I should grab some of those too!"

Shayera took a box of Biore pore strips off the shelf. 

Diana was frowning.  "Did you use all of yours?"

Hawkgirl shrugged, "Honestly, I thought I had a few more left, but I guess I lost track.  Why?"

"Mine were all gone too, but by Hera, I was sure it was a brand new box."

"You don't think . . ."

"While we were gone?" Diana interjected.

They both looked at the boxes they held in their hands and then at each other and laughed.

"No," Diana shook her head, still laughing.

Shayera was shaking her head as well. 

"I wish though," she eventually managed, wiping away tears.

Diana grabbed some nail files off the wall and paused.

Grinning, she looked at Shayera, but Hawkgirl already had the same thought and was clutching her stomach.

"Stop!" Shayera managed, "I'm going to wet myself!"

Diana was just shaking at this point, with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"All . . . of . . . my cuticle cream! Gone . . . too!" Shayera managed to blurt out between breaths as she rolled on the floor.

Diana fell to her knees.  She could barely breathe.

"Diana?  Shayera?"

The heroines looked towards the voice, their faces sobering slightly.  An attractive man in an impeccable gray suit stood before them.

Shayera squinted.  He looked somewhat familiar, or his smirk did anyway.

"Do we know you?"

He flashed them a grin, before straightening his expression.  When he spoke again, his voice had dropped an octave.

Shayera gasped and Diana giggled.


Flash was strutting towards the Monitor Womb.  He had a good day.  Linda couldn't keep her hands, or lips, or . . . well, she just couldn't get enough of this stud's face.

The Scarlet Speedster was a man in demand. 

And he liked it.

He passed the hallway leading to the bedrooms and paused mid-strut.

His fingers brushed his face. 

"My skin's already losing its baby-butt softness . . ." he mused.

Decision made, he ran to Shayera's room.

Flash was preoccupied with the mystery products in Hawkgirl's bathroom.  He didn't realize he had company until he saw a shadow pass by the door.



"No, that was me GL," Flash stuck his head out the bathroom door.

"You scream like a girl."

Flash pouted at that, then reconsidered.

"Wait a second!  You can't make fun of me! You're sneaking around Shy's room!"

"Shut up you little punk.  You're the one hanging out in her bathroom."

Flash opened his mouth to protest but shut it when he detected a very strong odor behind him.

"Do you smell that?"

John nodded and smirked.

"You are so dead."


"That's her favorite perfume you spilled." 


"From Thanagar."





Shayera looked over at the giggling Amazon.

"I think he's serious Di."

Diana's smile faded and got up to get a closer look.


He flashed her a bigger grin and shrugged.  His voice was definitely higher when he clarified.

"Well, at the moment I'm Steve, Steve Trevor."

"Great Hera . . ." Diana murmured, still examining his features as she shook his hand. 

She stood back and nodded with a grin.  "Yes, I can still see the Amazon in you."

"Honey, that's the best compliment a queen could ever receive.  You are such a doll."

Shayera and Diana exchanged glances, missing the meaning of most of what he just said, but Diana smiled anyway.

"So what are you crazy gals up to?"

Shayera glanced into her basket and sighed.  "Restocking.  We got raided while we were out for the weekend."

"Roommates?"  Steve/Lana raised an eyebrow.

The ladies suppressed their chuckles and nodded.

"Those bitches."

Diana gave Shayera a sidelong glance, a little confused.  Shayera, however, found the comment hysterical.

"Well, I'm glad I caught you two, because I have a favor to ask."

Shayera shrugged, "Sure, what do you need?"

Diana nodded her interest.

"We could certainly use your presence at a charity event.  You game?"

"Do we get to dance again?"

"For you, honey, of course!"

Diana's question was more practical.  "What is this charity for?"

"We're raising money for the free clinic in downtown Metropolis."

Diana smiled, "I would love to help."

"Yeah, me too!  When and where?"

"This Thursday at the Golden Ball Bowl-a-rama."



by Lois Lane, Daily Planet staff reporter

In a surprising turn of events in Philadelphia earlier this morning, federal circuit judge Marcia Dent agreed to hear lawyer Harold A. Spinney's civil action lawsuit against Nabisco and its parent corporation, Kraft Foods.  Mr. Spinney is suing the company for manufacturing what he calls "poison," the famous chocolate and cream sandwich cookie, Oreos.  The lawyer, a Keystone City native and graduate of Gotham University, denies this is a frivolous lawsuit.  In fact, he cited several research journals today in court . . .



Batman ran in, surveying the room, batarang in hand.

J'onn was curled up in a corner, pages of today's Daily Planet strewn all over the floor.  Batman stepped around the paper and held out a gloved hand to help the Martian rise.

J'onn took the proffered hand and sniffed.

Batman turned his back to allow J'onn a moment to get himself together.  Meanwhile, he scanned the pages with a detective's eye.

"Hm.  The Oreos litigation."  He turned back to J'onn, who nodded numbly.

"I apologize for worrying you, Batman," the Manhunter sniffed again and continued, his voice breaking, "This was just such a shock."

The Dark Knight studied J'onn for a minute before replying.

"Have you ever been to Philadelphia?"


"You never said what you were doing in Shy's room, GL."

Flash, now dressed as Wally West, stopped and looked at John pointedly.


John coughed, then replied, "Same thing you were."

Wally sighed, "I didn't know what to look for."

"Me neither.  I even tried the Princess's room."

"Any luck?"


Wally sighed again.

"But we may have used up all their stuff.  I honestly don't remember," John added.

Wally flashed him a grin, "Well, since we're already out shopping . . ."

John shook his head, "Later.  Right now, we've got to work on you not getting killed."

On cue, the saleswoman appeared with a bottle of perfume.  She sprayed it onto a card and handed it to John, who sniffed it.

"No, not even close."

She nodded and disappeared below the counter again.

"Thanks for the help, GL."

John grunted.  "Yeah, you owe me."

Another card and another sniff, John shook his head.

"Um, yes sir.  I'll get something else."

Flash smirked at the Green Lantern, but John was not in the mood.

"You got a problem with something?"

"You've got it baaaaaad."

"Shut up."


Clark ducked behind his cubicle wall.  What were they doing here?   And they were in costume!

"Hey Lo!"

Clark frowned, 'Lo?'

"Shayera!  Diana!  What are you doing here?"


He heard Shayera dry tone, "Someone or maybe five someones got into our stuff while we were gone and used it all."

Clark gulped.

"What stuff?"

Diana chuckled, "Beauty supplies."

"What!  You're kidding me."  He appreciated that Lois's voice was at least dubious; although once she got him alone, he'd never hear the end of it.

"Nope.  All of our nail supplies, facial cleansers, nose strips . . ." Shayera rattled off the list.

"Oh, those Biore pore strips?"

"Yes, aren't they wonderful?  Apparently our teammates liked them as well."  He could hear her smile in Diana's voice.

Lois's laughter echoed through the floor.

"We're going to lunch.  Care to come with, Lo?"

"Sure, but let me see if Clark is around. I would love for you to meet him, Shayera."  The humor in Lois's tone was obvious without his super-hearing.

Clark did use his super-speed, however, to scoot under his desk and pull the chair in after him.  It was a tight fit.

"Clark?"  With his x-ray vision, he could see Lois peeking over the cubicle wall.

"That's strange.  I could have sworn he was just here.  Oh well, let's go."

He watched them walk down the hall and waited until they were inside an elevator before breathing a sigh of relief.


"Oh, hi there Perry."

"What are you doing under your desk?"

Clark held up a pencil. 

"Dropped this."

Perry shook his head and sighed before walking away muttering something about "Smallville."


"Guess what I found out?" 

Diana's mouth was full of cheeseburger, so she just raised her eyebrows to indicate interest. 

Shayera paused in sipping her Mountain Dew, "Ooh!  What?"

Lois sat back in the booth and grinned.  This was always her favorite part about writing a new article—being the one with all the information.

"Well, I'm writing about the spa we went to last weekend."

The women nodded.

"They have a history of hiring former superheroes."

"Like who?"

"Apache Chief and Black Lightning used to be the directors of recreation.  But both left, citing racism in the workplace when no one ever called them by their real names."

Diana finally swallowed, "What are their real names?"

Lois shrugged, "I don't know . . . but there's more!"

She paused, for dramatic effect, as she speared a leaf from her salad and chewed it carefully, attempting to look casual.

Lois grinned, relishing the power of information.

Shayera was fidgeting in her impatience.


"A monkey named 'Gleek' used to work there too, as a towel monkey.  Apparently he was a friend of Zan and Jayna.  But he was being overworked and PETA and the ASPCA found out and threatened to sue."

"What happened?"  Diana's eyes widened with interest.

"A third party stepped in and offered to take care of Gleek.  This individual was the only one the spa, PETA, Zan, and Jayna could agree upon."

"Who?"  Shayera hit the table.

Lois drew in a breath and leaned across the table.


Shayera blanched.  "Hawk . . . Hawkman?"

Diana turned to her friend, "Do you know him?  Is he too from Thanagar?"

Shayera nodded, still in shock.

"I thought he was dead . . ."


"Batman," J'onn couldn't hide his shock, "This is one hundred dollars."

The Dark Knight frowned, "Is that not enough?" and reached for his utility belt.

"No!  That's not what I meant at all.  I am just surprised and grateful for this, but I am admittedly confused as well."

"Go stock up on Oreos, J'onn."

The smile that lit J'onn face was huge.


But his smile faded a little, "I thought we were going to Philadelphia."

"It's still light over the Eastern seaboard."

"Oh, of course.  Well thank you Batman.  I will return by nightfall."

Batman nodded and turned.

"Wait, Batman!  I have Monitor Duty."

"Don't worry about it."



"You are going to do Monitor Duty?"

Batman stared back and smirked.

J'onn shook his head and left.

Batman watched him go and then headed for the Monitor Womb.  He opened up a line of communication to Oracle.


"Open up a link to the Monitor Womb, reset your computer's alarms to natural catastrophes, terrorist activity, wars, and missile launches."

"Ok, done.  Why did I just do that?"

"You're on Monitor Duty."

"Batman!  I'm already monitoring all of Goth--"

"Batman out."

Monitor Duty done, he looked around. 

He had the entire Watchtower to himself. 

He was completely alone.

He stepped into the hallway and looked up and down its length.

He took a deep breath.

He ran.

He ran down the hall until he was a few yards from the doors of the meeting room and jumped in the air, his right leg extended and leading, kicking open the doors.  Once through, he threw his body into a roll as he landed and immediately flipped himself onto the table.

Only a little out of breath, he looked down.  He was standing on the table.  He smirked.

He walked a couple laps around the table as he surveyed the room.  He took a couple of quick steps and jumped into a handspring, launching himself off the table onto the floor.

He strode around all the chairs before standing behind his own.  He pulled it out and sat down.  At first, he sat there stiffly, his normal posture during meetings, complete with his cape pulled around him.  Another glance around and then he leaned back in his seat. 

He relaxed into this posture for a moment, before glancing around the room again.  He pushed his chair back a little more, and then put his feet up on the table, crossing his legs at his ankles.

The finishing touch was to clasp his hands behind his head, elbows bent, as he leaned the chair completely back.

He breathed a contented sigh and grinned.


"Lo.  I need that address."

Shayera was leaning across the table, giving Lois her most intimidating stare.  She didn't see Diana behind her, shaking her head sadly.

"Well, I would have to find it first . . ." Lois drew the words out slowly, glancing at Diana, confusion creasing her features.

"Shayera, could you tell us more about you and Hawkman first?  You seem to be very upset."

Shayera glared at Diana before answering, her voice rising.

"Upset?!  Why should I be upset at a guy who allegedly died the day after our wedding?  And why should I feel upset about finding out he's been on Earth the whole time?  And why should I be upset that I've been here for a year, very publicly I might add, and he never tried to get in touch with me?  NO, I'M NOT UPSET AT ALL!"

The waitresses and waiters stopped mid-stride.  Patrons paused in mid-sip and mid-bite.  All heads were turned towards the shouting Thanagarian.

For once, Lois didn't notice the stares, as both she and Diana looked at their friend with sympathetic eyes.

"Shy, I'm sorry.  I never knew."

Shayera's anger softened, "That's okay Di.  I really did move on—this was just a shock."

"I'm getting that address and we are all going to have a talk with this Hawkman."  Lois's tone was firm.

"'Katar,'" Shayera corrected gently, "And thanks, Lo, but I need to do this myself."

Lois sighed and gave a small nod as she sunk back into the booth.

Diana touched Shayera's arm and asked. "Are you sure?  We only want to lend you our support."

"Yes, but thank you.  I'm okay, really.  Now if you could just get me that address, I'll be on my way."

Diana slid out and shook her head at Lois, whose mouth was opened to launch a protest.  Lois shut it and nodded grimly.

They walked across the street to the Daily Planet in silence, Diana carrying their bags limply.  Shayera stared ahead, her features hard.

Lois felt guilty about ever opening her mouth.


Wally peeked into the bag, again.

"Are you sure this is it, GL?  I don't want to eat mace."

He paused and smirked, "Although a mouthful of feathers wouldn't be too bad."

Almost a quarter of a second passed before John's hand connected with the base of Flash's skull.

"What took you so long?" Wally muttered sarcastically as he rubbed his head.

"Sorry, just a little distracted."

"I wasn't really complaining."

John frowned.  "It's not a perfect match, but I think she'll like it."

The two men continued down the aisle, scanning all the walls.

"So what did you do about the empty bottle in the mean time?"

"Oh, I filled it."

"Well, we're going to fill it, you mean.  With this."  John pointed to the bag.

Wally blushed, "Um, no.  I did fill it with something, in case she came home."

John groaned and debated if he wanted to know.

Curiosity won, so he asked, his voice low and threatening, "And what exactly did you put in the bottle?"

"Listerine!" Wally was pleased with himself, although not for long.

"OW!  Hey!  It was the same color!"


He heard her footsteps and froze.

That scent that was uniquely hers was already greeting him.

He took a deep breath.

She was humming.

He allowed himself the briefest of grins.

"Bruce?"  Diana whirled around, stopping when she saw Batman sitting in a corner.

"What are you doing here?  I thought you would be at work by now."  Laughter sprinkled her voice.

Batman stood and stepped to her, grabbing her in an embrace.

"Playing hooky."

She threw her arms around his neck and grinned, "'Hooky?'"

"Taking the day off."

"Ah, Ferris Bueller."

He frowned, "Who?"

"'Ferris Bueller's Day Off?'  That's Flash's favorite movie."

"That's why I don't stay here."

She recognized the small twitch in the corner of his lips as his smirk and grinned.

"So what are you doing up here?"

He kissed her lightly on the lips before replying.

"We're the only ones here."

His lips grazed hers.

"What's in the boxes?"

He kissed her more fully on the lips.


She leaned back, smiling, "What are they?"

He pulled her back and shook his head, "Patience.  I'm not finished here yet."

He kissed her longer this time, his tongue plundering her mouth. 

She pulled back abruptly, some concern evident in her voice.

"Who has Monitor Duty?"

Another kiss, before smirking, "Oracle."

She grinned as his lips traveled her jaw line and she tilted her head.

"Have you been a good boy up here all by yourself?"

He pulled his lips from his trek long enough to respond in a low voice laced with humor.

"No. . . I ran through the halls, walked all over the table, spun around in Clark's chair, drank straight from the milk carton . . ."

She laughed, assuming he was kidding.  He kissed her neck before continuing.

"Next, I thought I'd play in here."

His teeth tugged at her earlobe.

"You've thought of everything . . ." she exhaled.

The smirk slowly spread into a smile as he pressed his body against hers, guiding her backwards towards the bed.


Shayera held her knuckles up to the door, ready to knock, and froze.

She checked the address again, "42."

Her eyes narrowed at the brass numbers on the apartment door.

What was she afraid of?

Shayera rapped the door in three staccato strokes.

Her breath caught when she heard footsteps.  She steeled herself and tensed her muscles as she would during a fight.

The heard the clicks of locks and the snick of the door opening.

A blue monkey stood at the door.

"Shayera Hol of Thanagar.  Hawkgirl of the Justice League.  I need to see my husband."  Shayera's tone was cold in her forced civility.

The monkey glared back, not impressed.  He took out his cigar and spoke in a raspy bass.

"That's supposed make me move my blue ass any faster?  Who's your husband lady?"

"It's alright Gleek.  Let her in."

Shayera turned wide eyes to the man who now stood at the door.  Her bravado cracked.



Diana laid her head against Bruce's shoulder and a small sigh escaped.

"What's wrong?"

She knew a pair of concerned blue eyes were staring at her, so she remained in the crook of his arm and continued staring at the steady rise and fall of his chest.

"Nothing," she attempted as innocently as she could.


"J'onn should be back soon.  How much did you give him?"

He rolled her off his arm and lay atop her, bracing himself off her just enough with his arms.  From here he could look directly into her eyes.


She stared up at him, instantly reminded that they had shared this position only moments earlier.

"So soon?" she grinned.

"Later.  Don't change the subject."

She closed her eyes and sighed.  Opening them, she spoke.

"Fine," but there was a slight smile on her lips.

Bruce shifted off of her and they both sat up, side by side.  Diana wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees.


"What happened?"

"Shayera was married on Thanagar, but she thought her husband had died, only a day after the wedding.  Lois told her that 'Katar' was in fact still alive, and has been living on Earth."

Bruce nodded, waiting for her to continue.

Diana's grin was more of a grimace, "She was a little upset."

"She's going after him?"

"Yes.  She didn't want us there."

Bruce saw the tears in her eyes.  Wrapping an arm around her, he tugged her towards him.  She straightened her legs and leaned against him, allowing herself to momentarily cherish the intimate comfort of his bare skin against hers.

She swallowed.

"I think I saw her heart break in that moment."

They sat for a moment before Diana spoke again, her voice forced cheerfulness.

"I never told you what I bought today."

"What did you buy today?" he played along, oblivious that he was being set up.

"Shayera and I had to restock on all our facial and manicure items."


"Yes.  Apparently we managed to use them all last weekend, despite not being here."


She heard his gulp and grinned.

"I'm sure you had no role in this."

He chuckled softly before responding.

"I can honestly say I did not use any of those items on myself."

She pulled his arm around her fully, so she could take his hand in hers.  She held it closer to her face and made a point of examining his fingers and nails.

"And were you above teaching them?" she reproached, but soft laughter belying the pointed question.

His answer was simple.

"It's 'later.'"

He pressed his lips to her bare shoulder as he teasingly dragged his hand up her inner thigh.

She soon forgot her question.