A/N: This idea came to me while I was working on the newest chapter for my "The Original Poisonous Vampire" fic where Jasper is Freya Mikaelson's unborn son.

Jasper was adopted as a human.

He knew this for the single fact that it was hard to miss when he had been the black sheep among his Viking of a family.

Golden brown hair and such a thin frame among five red heads who were the size of mountains… he had stood out like a sore thumb.

But he never felt out of place.

While he never managed to find out where did he come from he hadn't cared much, his parents had been great, such kindness and love, as if he were theirs, he hadn't cared to learn about or find his biological family, why care about or look for people who hadn't wanted him?

Little did he know his long lost forgotten questions would be answered decades later.


It had been snowing for quite a while now. It was Christmas Eve's morning, but for once Alice didn't felt that keen on getting downstairs to snap pictures left and right of Renesmee and the others.

She knew Esme, Bella and Rosalie would take more than enough pictures.

Right now she felt too comfortable to leave the bed. The bedsheets were so soft and comfortable, same as Jasper's skin. Their legs were tangled into a mess of limbs and she could feel his fingers moving up and down her back in a rhythmic way.

She traced one particular mark that stood out among the thousands of scars, birthmark , it was right on his third rib on his left side, it was a dark mark the size of her thumb and it had quite the odd shape, a disproportionated star, it took a lot of staring to make out the star at all.

And one of the scars went right across it which made it even more disproportionated.

He also had another two lighter ones, one on his left shoulderblade and another one on his right thigh, those didn't had any particular shape, they were just marks.

She was brought out of her thoughts when a hand touched her face and as she looked up a kiss was pressed against her forehead.

A grin broke across her face as she threw her arms around him, peppering his face with kisses as they rolled on the bed, she chuckled as she felt his legs wrap around her waist before he was bringing her back to his side, nuzzling her neck affectionately and hugging her closer.

-You're so annoying.- She laughed, feeling his fluttering kisses across her neck, tickling her. She tried to push him off without avail, though deep down she truly enjoyed when he got this playful.

-You love me.- Came his muffled voice before he was pulling back to give her a smug look. She glared at him which got her a kiss on the cheek that got her grinning again, her hand coming to rest on his cheek.

-I do, I do love you. Even when you are being annoying.- She conceded before pulling him in for another kiss, laughing once again when they rolled on the bed, limbs tangled and bodies flushed together.

She loved December.


-Don't even think about it.- Carlisle warned, not even bothering to look up from his current job, which was braiding Esme's hair, his wife was sitting on the floor, right between his legs while she played Irish Scrabble with Rosalie.

Bella and Edward had left earlier to join Charlie and Sue. It was Christmas Eve and long ago they had all come to the silent agreement that it was better to let Renesmee have her Christmas' dinners with Charlie, at least she would have people to enjoy the food with.


All of them wanted her to spend as much time as possible with her human grandfather while she still could.

He heard Emmett sigh in quite the loud and dramatic way.

-They have been up there all morning.- Emmett whined as he climbed back down the stairs, Jasper and Alice had been in their room all morning, Alice didn't even bother to come down to snap pictures!

And alright, he could understand if they wanted to spend Christmas Eve having sex, hell, he and Rose had spent it like that a few times in the past, but they weren't even having sex, no, they were being disgustingly mushy, Emmett couldn't handle mushy people , they were too… mushy.

It gave him the feeling that he was developing diabetes. Vampires couldn't even be diabetic!

-Everyone is entitled to spend Christmas Eve however they want.- Esme told as a statement of fact as she finished, yet another word, lips twitching when she heard the new wave of giggles upstairs, the air felt warm, he was happy .

She loved hearing her children laugh, but there was something about Jasper that always made her smile, he was so quiet and withdrawn most of the time, it was hard to see him smile let alone laugh.

So hearing him so happy was always nice.

-But I wanna hunt and Rose won't go out when it's snowing.- Emmett said, almost whining again.

-We hunted last night. You just want to wrestle bears and soil good clothes.- Rosalie exclaimed as she grabbed a "B" from the table. Emmett fake gasped before touching his chest.

-How dare you assume such things about me?- Emmett asks dramatically, Rosalie scoffs.

-I don't assume, I know . Now come sit down and leave them be.- Rosalie ordered, giving her husband a look, just because he was bored it didn't meant he could just go and mess with other people. He should know by now that Jasper did not take kindly when people got in between him and Alice's alone time.

Last time Emmett barged into their room while Jasper and Alice were… indisposed… Jasper had had the nerve to set two glitter bombs in their room, and alright, Rosalie didn't hate the idea of glitter, but flaming pink glitter? Seriously? Even now she could still find glitter in her clothes. And that was when they lived in Alaska, like four years ago.

Emmett for his side huffed, this before stalking towards his wife and plopping down beside her on the floor, dropping his head on her lap with a dramatic sigh and crossing his arms over his chest. He gave her the biggest pout he could muster, which got him a hand coming to rest on his forehead.

-You can ask him later, he's bound to get hungry eventually.- Rosalie appeased her pouting husband, Jasper hadn't wanted to go hunting last night, and he usually hunted at least once every two days, it was something he still did, he had always been the one who hunted more than the others.

Everyone could go up to a week without hunting, but he would have his eyes completely black by the second day after a hunt, Carlisle had said once that it might be because his body was yet to get used to animal blood, he had spent way too long in an environment where he could get as much blood as he wanted, whenever he wanted, and if Jasper's poor autocontrol was something to go by along with his appetite…

Maria might have let him overfeed for far too long to the point of making him too dependent too on blood. Newborns for the most part held no control whatsoever over the amount of blood ingested. They wouldn't stop feeding even if they were full, Maria had probably not bothered to teach him self-restraint, they were in a war, there was no time for such trivialities, that's probably what she had thought.

The more thirsty a newborn was the more dangerous they would be, she didn't strike Rosalie as the person who would get rid of such advantage for a little self-control.

At least Jasper had gotten better than he was when he first arrived. Before, he couldn't even be in the same room as a human without pouncing, he hadn't slipped in 10 years, it was a great feat, even if he didn't saw it that way, much less after Bella's birthday party.

She can still remember when she found him sulking at the river and looking like he had succeeded at killing someone.

It had made Rosalie seethe with rage to know Bella had been the one to put her brother in such state. If Edward had just fucking listened.

But that was all in the past now.


-You are not setting foot in this house looking like that.- Esme said firmly the second she saw Jasper and Emmett at the porch, Emmett had finally managed to get Jasper out hunting after spending half an hour sighing loudly and making pitiful remarks about how he couldn't spend a bit of Christmas Eve time with his brother.

Esme had been unable to berate him for she had to admit it had been amusing.

Now she wondered if she had been right about letting Emmett lure Jasper out.

Both of them were soaking . There were even leaves and twigs all over them. And God was that a dead fish sticking out of Emmett's jaket's pocket? Both of them were dripping melting snow and God did Jasper's jacket just moved?

-You better not have a bobcat's cub in there young man.- The again was deafening as she spoke. Emmett would bring home raccoons, rabbits and squirrels occasionally, and he was teaching Renesmee to do the same.

But Jasper didn't go for the regular wildlife.


He would bring birds that Esme had no idea how he even managed to catch up to bobcat's cubs, foxes, snakes, frogs, centipedes, mountain lion's cubs, baby seals, bear cubs, lynx cubs and even fawns. He even brought two snow leopard's cubs once during their short stay in London, Esme up to this day had no idea where he got it from but Carlisle had left them in a box infront of the zoo.

Of all animals Jasper has ever brought home those little leopards had been the ones Jasper had been most reticent about letting go.

He had even locked himself in his room with them and had refused to let anyone in.

And while part of Esme had wanted to get him a cat to compensate she hadn't wanted a repeat of the horse incident. Carlisle and her had gotten him a horse when they lived in Norway, one with a pretty light brown coat; Moonlight, Jasper had grown awfully attached to that horse, which was a good thing because it helped him become less withdrawn.

But when Moonlight died, as all mortals did.

He had shut himself from the world to a point where he had refused to feed or even leave the stable. Not even Alice had been able to get him to snap out of it. It had taken over a month before Rosalie managed to be the one to get him to step outside of that stable and feed.

That was the first and last time there was ever a pet in the family.

Esme didn't want to see him like that ever again.

-It's not a bobcat.- Jasper defended, almost sounding offended at the sole accusation, at that same time a head poked out from the neck of his shirt.


That was new.

-Sweetheart, please.- Esme resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose as she spoke.- We have talked about this. You shouldn't interact with the wildlife unless you are actively hunting.

Jasper gave her that kicked puppy look he never failed to give her whenever she made him get rid of the animals he brought, that look that never managed to make her feel like she was committing some serious wrong against him.


She gave him a stern look, refusing to give in, she might not have proof but she was certain he liked to use his gift for a heightened effect when he made those eyes.

Esme was not falling for his kicked puppy eyes nor anyone's else's.

Jasper for his side sighed, turning around and kneeling on the ground before unzipping his jacket. The second he did the second the coyote bolted off and into the forest.

He turned back to look at her.

-Good, now you two wait here.- She ordered sternly, giving them a look that promised a week full of regrets if they so much as dared to step into the house while she was gone.

She got two towels from the bathroom before coming back downstairs.

-Clothes off.- She commanded while holding both towels out for them to take them. Emmett gave her an overly exaggerated sigh before grabbing the towel and doing as told.

Jasper on the other hand seemed a bit hesitant but still ended up starting to undress too. Esme turned around to at least give them some sense of privacy.

-Holy shit.- Emmett's exclamation wouldn't have alarmed Esme if he hadn't put such shock into it. She couldn't keep herself from turning around on reflex to see what had made her son react like that.

The second she did the second she wished she hadn't.

Because the sight she got…

God, she knew he had scars, his neck, forearms, jawline and left eyebrow left it very clear, but this…

Jasper's chest and torso were covered in scars that went from light bites to full on ravenous bites that looked as if someone had torn skin apart and it never healed quite right. He even had other kind of scars that were, without a doubt, from his human life, was that a gunshot scar by his right shoulder? There was even one on his torso, and another one on his right bicep. There was one of his left side that looked like shrapnel scarring without a doubt.

Were she human, tears would have been running down her cheeks as she took on each scar. The idea of how much pain he must have been in. There was nothing more painful than the venom left behind from a vampire's bite.

To see that amount of scars…

She felt a light touch on her arms at the same time a blanket of warmness settled upon her, and it took her a moment to realize Jasper was infront of her, touching her arms and giving her a concerned look.

-Don't be sad. 'm alright. None of 'em hurt.- Jasper said, hoping to assure his distressed mother.

He had never grown comfortable enough around the Cullen to even consider the idea of exposing much skin let alone be shirtless. If the scars on his forearms, face and neck were enough to put people on edge he didn't want to know what would happen were he to expose the actual extent of it all .

But he had also done it to keep Esme from seeing them. She always got upset whenever she focused on his scars for too long.

But then Emmett had to open his damn mouth and scare her enough into turning around to see what was wrong.

There was such sorrow in her emotions, anger, grief, sadness…

This was exactly why he had always been so careful with the kind of shirts he used, he hadn't wanted her to see him.

Meanwhile, Esme could feel her heart breaking the more she saw them, but then, something caught her eye.

A birthmark on his left side, it stood out like a sore thumb among all the scars and his pale skin, such peculiar mark made a pang of pain flare in her chest.

Because she had seen a similar mark before, on her beautiful little treasure.

It was nothing but something else to add to the never-ending list of reasons Jasper sometimes made her think of past memories.

Past memories no one but him managed to trigger.

She would never forget the first time she saw him, and how grateful she had been for Edward's absence at the time.

Esme's grief over losing her baby boy, while she had managed to work past it, even now she was weighed down by the reminder, at times she would find herself imagining the kind of man he would have become, the kind of man she would have raised him into.

She always imagined him tall, and broad-shouldered, so that he could stand proud in a room. She had hoped for him to have her waves and her golden brown hair, but he had had blond hair instead, with beautiful hazel eyes.

He would have had a pretty face, one unthreatening to women to match his gentlemanly manners perfectly, but it would still have been strong. He would stand up for those he loved and for what he believed in, never allowing others to step over him.

And when she had first seen Jasper…

Past the scars and cold demeanour it had been like seeing the images of her own son in her head walk right through the front door.

Of course she had never told him, no one at all, not even Carlisle, and she always kept those thoughts controlled around Edward.

She tried to not think much about it, dwelling on the past wasn't right, and neither was it to put such expectations over Jasper, it wasn't fair for him, he was no one's replacement, she loved him for who he was, not for who he reminded her of.

-Are you alright?- Came the worried voice, she snapped her attention away, she should stop staring, it might make him anxious, self-concious, she didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

-Of course I am, now go on upstairs you two and get cleaned up, it's Christmas, not April Fools.- Esme ordered, gathering her bearing back together as she did, Emmett gave her a pout but one stern look shut him up and he was quickly walking past her and into the house.

Jasper followed right behind at a slower pace, it wasn't until she turned around to watch them go that her eye caught, yet another view, Jasper's back while filled with less scars still looked terrible.

But the mark on his shoulderblade made her throat close and the world freeze around her.

She quickly reigned her emotions back in when he threw her a concerned look over his shoulder, she shooed him with her hand, not trusting her voice right now, he seemed hesitant, but he still left.


Esme knew that her thoughts were stupid.

Because her little one was not him, Jasper was born in Texas, and he was alive, her little one wasn't.

Charles had said so after he had taken him to the hospital while she slept, the doctor had confirmed it after she had gone there demanding for her son, she had seen his little body.

But how could such a thing be possible? How could he have not one but two similar marks to the ones he had had? He even had them in the exact same place.

God this was so wrong. She shouldn't be thinking of this. Jasper was not him and he didn't deserve to be confused with someone else because of her grief.

She needed to clear her mind.


But as much as Esme tried to not focus on it she failed.

She was unable to not stare at Jasper as he laid on the floor on his stomach, Emmett right beside him in the same position, both of them focused on the TV as they played the new videogame Emmett had bought himself a few days ago.

His hair wasn't blond nor was it golden brown.

It was more of a honey blond, and she knew that beneath the sunlight it shone like a thousand threads of silky gold, but the more she stared at him the more she found herself finding similarities between them, the nose, ears, even the shape of his mouth.

She glanced at his back, she wished she could get a better look of the mark on his shoulderblade, but she knew she couldn't, and there was also another mark…

That one she would need to ask Alice about.

She shouldn't. She really needed to stop thinking about it, she was just bringing back up emotions she really shouldn't, and if Jasper found out what she was thinking he would seriously be hurt.


Carlisle frowned as he stepped into the room he shared with his wife, she was sitting cross-legged on the bed, a familiar box sat on her lap, she was staring at an old picture with a sad look, and Carlisle didn't need to see it to know who's picture was that.

It was the one picture she ever managed to take of her baby, he was peacefully asleep in her arms, and Esme was staring at the bundle in her arms lovingly, as if nothing in this world could ever be more precious to her but the little life between her arms.

Carlisle came to sit beside her, there was also a knitted blueish hat in the box with an "A" embroidered on the side.


That had been Esme's baby son's name, it stood for warrior, because that's what he had been, a little warrior who was born a month earlier than he should have, he had been horribly weak, sick, but oh how he had fought, Carlisle had been in the hospital when she delivered him, he had been quite small and a lot of the doctors had said he wouldn't make it.

But he had.

He had pulled through.

But he had also been sick, Carlisle had heard his lungs, something about them hadn't been quite right.

And then he had heard of the fatidical news.

The Platt-Evenson little warrior had died.

It had taken Esme a long time to get over her grief, Carlisle knew this for he had been there with her, he had held her as she cried, he had helped her make him his own little burial, she had gotten better, he knew the loss of a child wasn't something a parent could ever get over, not really, but she rarely spent time staring at his picture, much less during these dates, she would get sad during the incoming week of his birthday, but never around Christmas.

Which made him wonder what had happened, he hadn't missed how she had been a bit distracted today, she had spent most of the evening staring at Jasper, such sadness in her eyes, he had been unable to not pull Jasper aside before coming here, wanting to know if something had happened.

He had seemed quite confused with Carlisle's question.

-Is everything alright? You looked a bit upset this evening.- He found himself pointing out, Esme didn't answer.

And then.

-He had the same marks.- She whispered, Carlisle frowned.

-I'm afraid I don't follow. Who had what marks?


The name did nothing but confuse Carlisle even more, did she mean the scars? Was that what had her so upset? Carlisle did admit that seeing those scars earlier had been quite shocking, all of those scars proof of how strong he was, how many had tried and failed to kill him, the amount of pain he must have grown familiar with.

It wasn't a comfortable thought.

But at least he no longer needed to live that life, he was perfectly safe and happy here, and Carlisle would do the impossible to make sure that's how it stayed.

-What's wrong with him?- He ended up asking.

-... Earlier, when I asked him and Emmett to leave their filthy clothes outside, he had a birthmark on his left side, and he also had another one on his shoulderblade.

Carlisle frowned, birthmarks weren't rare, many people had them, becoming a vampire didn't magically made them dissapear, but something told him there was more to this than what he thought.

So, he didn't interrupt nor pointed out the obvious.

-I know it's just a coincidence, but Alexander also had the same marks in the exact same places, and- I know he's dead, but every time I look at Jasper it feels like I'm looking at how I imagined Alexander to be if he had been able to grow, I know it's not fair for Jasper, but those marks… - Esme bit her tongue, God, she was a horrible mother.

She was comparing Jasper with her long gone baby boy.

Meanwhile, Carlisle frowned, that was odd, he had to admit it, birthmarks weren't rare, yes, but two people having the exact same marks in the exact same places? What were the odds? And Jasper was born in 1844, same as Esme's baby.

But Alexander died.

And Jasper was alive.

Jasper was born in Houston, Texas.

Alexander was born in Columbus, Ohio.

They had been miles away from each other.

But as he allowed himself a moment of thought…

Alexander had been getting a bit better before he suddenly died, Dr. Watterson had been the one to tend to him before he reported the baby's death, Dr. Watterson who was coincidentally enough Charles' friend and not a very trustworthy man.

But he had seen the baby.

It had been Alexander, same blond hair, same little mole on his neck...



Carlisle was pretty sure that the baby he had fixed the clothes of hadn't had any birthmarks.

A sudden shiver ran down his spine at the implications of that revelation, what if…

What if the baby never died?

But then that would mean… that would mean Charles had been a thousand times worse than Carlisle had ever thought.

He had made Esme think her baby had died, led her to jump off a cliff.

What did he do with the baby then?

"I know it's just a coincidence, but Alexander also had the same marks in the exact same places."

Esme's voice came back to him.


Same birthmarks.

Hadn't Jasper implied once that he had also been adopted as a human?

But those were mere coincidences, right? I mean, what were the chances of Jasper and Alexander being the same person? For him to end up as a vampire and back with Esme? It didn't just sound impossible but also quite surrealistic.

Like a movie plot of some kind. Not real.

But what if it was possible?

Jasper… if he gave it real thought… Didn't humans sometimes said that Jasper had Esme's eyes? Even Bella and Charlie had mentioned it once.

-Did Alexander had any other particular characteristic?- He asked suddenly, he couldn't say anything just yet, he needed to be sure first.

-Another birthmark, right on his thigh, it was horizontal and it almost looked like a scar of some kind, and his eyes… they were such beautiful hazel.- She sighed sadly.

And Carlisle hated having to leave her, but right now he really needed to confirm it, he needed to speak with Alice, not Jasper, he would certainly know something was amiss.

Alice on the other hand wouldn't notice a thing unless she had a vision.

Though she might find weird the how Carlisle knew of a mark no one who hadn't seen Jasper naked should know of.

Or the why would he want to know about his human eye color.

But he really needed answers.

Because if Jasper was Alexander…

Well, he would cross that bridge when he got to it.


Now he needed to find Alice.

But he didn't even need to knock on the door for there was a slip of paper on the floor infront of the room.

He picked it up.

Had he been his human his heart would have stopped as he read the paper.

Yes, and yes.

He froze.

He felt something behind the slip of paper and as he turned it around he was met with the final option to confirm this once and for all.

A strand of golden hair had been taped on the other side of the paper.


Carlisle knew that vampires had little to none DNA, all fluids in their bodies being different variations of venom.

The transformation also messed with their skin, fingernails, hair…

But he had also learnt that one could get some DNA from a vampire's hair.

It was hard considering that the older the vampire was the less DNA would linger behind.

Jasper and Esme were from the 1800's.

But he was nothing if not persistent and God was he determined to be successful on this. He had waited until Esme was taking a much relaxing bath before getting a strand of hair from her hairbrush.

Carlisle spent the whole night in the mini medical bay he had created for Renesmee in the room Bella had given birth at, he felt horrible over leaving Esme alone when she was so distressed, but it was for a greater cause.

A greater cause which was fruitful.

The sun hadn't even rose when he got the test results back.



The last thing Esme expected on Christmas morning was to be given a slip of paper by her husband.

Much less for said slip of paper to hold something she had never, not even in her wildest dreams, imagined.

Having Carlisle explaining to her that her son never died. That Charles had managed to drag a poor excuse of a doctor into swapping her baby boy with another one, that he had sent him away.

She almost broke right then right there.

Even more so upon seeing the contents of the slip of paper.



Jasper was him. Him.

That frail little baby she had held between her arms, her beautiful Alexander.

It was Jasper.

The idea of it was surrealistic and at the same time exhilarating. To think Alexander, with how frail and weak he had been, struggling to even breathe right, a lot of people had said he would die.

She had thought him dead.

To think he wouldn't just survive but also grow to become such a strong and healthy young man, he was alive, her beautiful baby boy was alive, and it felt like an enormous weight she hadn't even known to be there had lifted, like an emptiness had been filled.

She heard his laughter outside, such a rare sound in itself, and she found herself walking up to the window, he sat on the ground covered in snow up to his shoulders, Renesmee was working on covering more, apparently aiming to turn him into a living snowman.

It felt like seeing him for the first time. God, he was so beautiful, with those little dimples and the pure amusement in his gaze. It made her chest hurt, vision blurring, she knew his human life had been good, his childhood had been one filled with love and kindness if the occasional comment was something to go by.

But to know she hadn't been there to see him grow, or how he ended up getting himself into a war at 17, then turned into a vampire at 19 and having to spend decades fighting for his life and being manipulated into thinking that that was the how life was…

It broke her heart to know how much she had failed him.

She hadn't been there for his first life as a human nor for his second life as a vampire. The proof of her failure was now branded into his skin in the form of those horrible scars, in the way he would flinch away from unexpected touch or how he had most certainly developed PTSD from his time in war both as a human and as a vampire.

The episodes weren't frequent and none of them had ever seen him during one.

But Esme did hear one once.

She saw the aftermath of it.

He had destroyed the entirety of the studio she and Carlisle had made for him.

And he had completely broken down afterwards.

How did she not recognize her own baby? How could she not recognize that the baby she had buried was not her own?

It made her feel like such a terrible mother.

And still...

She wanted nothing more but to hug him, hold him for hours until she could grasp the fact of just how real he was.

But she knew she couldn't. She wouldn't.

She didn't want him to know the truth.

Her relationship with him was one she treasured a lot, creating a bond with someone who had been through the things he had gone through was a thing that took a lot of time, patience and trust.

But once developed it was one of the most precious things in the world.

The idea of damaging her bond with him over this discovery was beyond terrifying, she knew he knew he had been adopted as a human, but he never spoke about his biological mother or what he might have felt towards her, what if he hated her? What if he didn't want anything to do with her? Did he thought himself to have been abandoned? Or did he think his mother died?

What if he didn't want anything to do with his biological mother because he didn't need her? He had had a wonderful human family who he had loved dearly and viceverse, what if telling him the truth made him feel like she was ruining his happiness? What if telling him the truth destroyed the stability he had acquired here?

A sudden warmness enveloped her, lifting the heaviness off her chest.

It was then that she noticed Jasper staring right at her, definitely having felt her distressed emotions, he looked worried, confused.

And when he smiled at her she felt like all the negative emotions were dispersed into thin air, because that smile alongside those soft eyes…

It made her realize that maybe, just maybe, to him, she, as Esme, hadn't failed him, not even once.

Because the sight before her was nothing she could have ever thought possible when he first arrived all those decades ago.

A skittish ex-soldier who hid and growled and bit because he felt like he couldn't trust a soul.

Now there he was.

Smiling, playing, trusting, relaxed.

She found herself smiling back at him.

He didn't need to know.

He was fine like how things were and she would never jeopardize his happiness.

Because that's how he looked.


He was happy and that's all that mattered.


A/N: So WHAT if it's a Christmas fic in the middle of May? I don't even like Christmas that much bc shit be loud af, I just wanted it to be Esme's Christmas gift, the first part wasn't even originally for this fic but another one for Rosalie-Jasper biological twins reveal XD

PS: This has an ambiguous/open ending, means I might do another chapter, might not, don't know