Disclaimer: Sevvie (or anything in the HP universe) is not mine! Boo hoo hoo hoo...
A/N: Third fic in two days! Whoa! *turns to muse* Are you sure you are alright? Anywayz...enjoy! This is my first attempt at a funny fic, if the characters are a little OOC, it is intentional...please don't flame me on this! *cowers*
This is a very cold and dark dungeon, reeking of moldy herbs. The stone walls are lined with thick dusty books, different vials of nameless ingredients and various potions. The only light seems to come from the eerily glowing contents of the silver cauldron sitting in the middle of the room, and the embers in the fireplace. A spooky dripping sound is echoing in the room. In front of the cauldron is a tall, thin and black-hooded form.
Severus : (drops two dragon fangs into cauldron, observes as the simmering potion turns green) Hmmm... curious...
Mirror on the wall : (curiously) What is curious?
Severus : Shut up. (starts to stir)
Mirror on the wall : (whines) Teeeelllll meeee.
Severus : No. (keeps on stirring and lets mind wander to what happen earlier this day)
The headmaster's room hasn't change a bit since Severus last entered. The Sorting Hat, the phoenix, the silver who-know-whats are all sitting in their places. The portraits smiles and greets Severus.
Albus : (stays in his seat, twinkling eyes in motion) Severus. Please take a seat.
Severus : (Sits across the headmaster) What is it headmaster?
Albus : (causally) Lemon drops?
Severus : (death-glare) No. I've got work to do Albus.
Albus : (turn off twinkling in eyes) Ah, then straight to business, should we? Severus, we are sorry to inform you- you are fired.
Severus : (incredulously) Fired??? You can't fire me-
Albus : (brushes beard) Sorry Severus. You are indeed being laid off. You may leave Hogwarts tomorrow.
Severus : (still incredulously) W- what? Wh- why? Did I do something to earn this?
Albus : (looks at Severus pitifully) The war between the Light Side and the Dark is raging Severus, and as your cover had been blown away two months ago, we had no choice but to sack you.
Severus : (angrily) You are kidding old man. I thought Hogwarts is the safest place for me to be in?
Albus : You see, Voldemort is furious about your betrayal. If you don't leave here Hogwarts will be under the constant risk of attack. Students will be put under danger- no, we can't have that. The professors are tired of having to check and put up wards every night. I know you are too. (eyes Severus knowingly)
Severus : (very angry now) WHAT? That's how you treat your most faithful spy? Kick him out when he is most endangered? (slams fist on big desk) Not to mention teaching those dunderheads for over 14 years! (panicky voice) I can't leave Hogwarts! Where am I to go? I have no family, I will be dead once out of Hogwarts! Hogwarts- (with great difficulty) Hogwarts is my home, it's all I have!
Albus : (trying to be cheerful) You can always go to the Order's headquarters, Severus. You will be safe there.
Severus : (stands up, shaking with fury) I am not going to live in that nuthouse, you selfish goldfish! (walks over and opens door, knocking chairs out of his way)
Albus : Severus...
Severus : (halts and looks at headmaster hopefully)
Albus : Crying will make you feel better.
Severus : (!) I DON'T cry!! (slams door)
Mirror on the wall : (shrieks) It is going to exxxxxplode!!
Severus : (snaps back to reality) What? (looks at cauldron) Oh DEAR. (hastily adds in pepper and stirs frantically)
(After a while)
Severus : (wipes sweats from forehead) Phew, that was close!
Mirror on the wall : (smugly) I know a potion is about to explode when I see one.
Severus : (Stir potion) Shut up. It's about to be done.
Mirror on the wall : (Wants to bend over and see potion, but being nailed to a wall, it can't) Hey Sev, you really think you will do this?
Severus : (ladles potion into phial) Yeah.
Mirror on the wall : (stares) You know this will be irreversible?
Severus : (snaps) Of course it will be reversible. I can just brew the reverse potion. Think you know Potions?
Mirror on the wall : (rolls mental eyes) I know Potions better than you do kid. I am your father's mirror. I am your grandpa's mirror. I am your-
Severus : Stop!
Mirror on the wall : And they were all wonderful potion makers. (pauses) You realize you are the only one in this school capable of making this potion and its reverse?
Severus : (smirks)
Mirror on the wall : The potion- if it is brewed correctly- will bring you back to your teens right?
Severus : (nods and wonders where this conversation is going)
Mirror on the wall : (continues in an annoyingly smug voice) So, although I doubt your memories to disappear, your knowledge and more importantly, your magical powers would dwindle... and that means you may not be able to brew the reverse when you are- younger. And you can't make the reverse beforehand because it has to be drank directly after brewing.
Severus : (thinks) Hmm...you have a point...
Mirror on the wall : (smirks the way only a mirror can)
Severus : ...but I do I care? No. (Downs contents of phial)
Mirror on the wall : Noooooooooooooooooo-
(Severus faints with a dull thud)
Severus : (opens eyes slowly, adjusting them to his surroundings)
Mirror on the wall: (anxiously) Are you alright?
Severus : (moans) Ohh... (rubs head and stands up)
Mirror on the wall : Come closer, let me see you- how do you feel?
Severus : (groans) Ohh... (pours self a cup of water and drinks in one gulp) That's better...(stops suddenly, stares at own hands)?
Mirror on the wall : (whines again) Come on Sevvie boy...
Severus : (rushes to mirror, stares)
Mirror on the wall/ Severus : Ahhhhhhhh!!!!
Severus : It worked! It worked! It worked! (dances)
Mirror on the wall : (exasperated) Yeah yeah yeah, you know, you don't have to act like a boy even if you look like one.
Severus : (stops, but still giggling madly) Hehehehehe, I am so damn clever!
Mirror on the wall : (won't comment on the cleverness of its owner) Now what.
Severus : (suppresses giggles) Okay, now all I'd got to do is to pack my things. The train will be in Hogsmeade tomorrow and I will have to stay in (adds extra venom) Black's house for two months. Then when the new year begins, haha, I will be back!
Mirror on the wall : (surprises) You sound like a villain when you say that. And why would you think Dumbledore is going to admit you into Hogwarts again?
Severus : (Tut-tuts the mirror) Heh heh. You see, there is these magical owls Albus keeps. They detect witches or wizards within the area and will send them a letter before the term started. Once you are detected by those owls, there's no way to escape. You will be admitted into Hogwarts. No matter what. So if I can't stay here as a professor, I will stay as a student.
Mirror on the wall : (skeptically) How big do you think the chance of Dumbledore not noticing this is? Say, slimmer than the chance you wash your hair with proper shampoo, instead of potions?
Severus : (grits teeth) One day I will smash you, I will.
The mirror keeps quiet after this and watches Severus packs his belongings. It only speaks again when Severus is about to shrink his trunks.
Mirror on the wall : What, you are going to carry me? I am touched. (wipes a tear)
Severus : (dryly) No, I am not going to take you along.
Mirror on the wall : (horror-struck) WHAT? I am your mirror!
Severus : How unfortunate of me.
Mirror on the wall : (whines again) What? NO! I am not only your mirror, but also your father's mirror, your grandfather's mirror, your great-grandfather's mirror, your great-great-
Severus : (yanks mirror off wall) Shut up already!
A/N: So what do you think? Does it suck? I know, my sense of humor is pathetic...*hits self* but it will get better! I promise! Please...REVIEW!! (And my other 2 stories too, thankies!)