a/n hey I was just wondering if I should continue this fic.... could you be so kind as to r/r either way to help me out *grinz* and offers chocolate k so it's late or early whichever way you look at it. basically 3 am! *yawns* cheers folks lord! now I sound like my teacher... *sighs* o well! r/r!

Harry lay back on his bed staring into space, Privet drive was dull. There was no other word for it. The people were dull, the houses were dull, even the weather was dull. It was true that scince his god fathers death and the revealing of the prophecy he had, had a lot on his mind but now he was bored. Why hadn't he heard from Ron? three painstaking weeks of boredom and not a single letter.

"Harry! Harry!!!!" he heard the sound of his aunts shrill voice from downstairs and groaned inwardly.

As he neared the bottom of the staircase, he half expected to hear the grunts of his cousin and uncle as they stuffed their faces with whatever wilting salad his aunt had decided on that day. However to his supprise there was scilence. He entered the kitchen only to discover it was empty except for a plate of brown lettuce leaves and what looked like the remnants of last nights chicken.

"your cousin and Vernon have gone out" his aunt said from her corner of the room where she was helping herself to a rather large helping of chocolate cake. Obviously well hidden while Dudley was in the house.

Harry sat down to eat grudgingly, when a sudden thought occurred to him. He had never thought about asking his aunt about anything before, but he had recently discovered she was allowing him to stay in her house in order to save his life. Which supprised him considering he thought she would relish his death rather then prolong his life.

"um aunt pertunia.." he began

"Yes?" she answered sharply and looked up

" I was... well you know that..that um Howler you received from Dumbledore when I... well when uncle Vernon was going to throw me out?" Harry's words stuttered as his aunts face hardened and set so she looked rather like she was sucking on a particularly sour lemon.

"What about it? who mentioned anyone called Dumbledore? Howler I don't know what your on about! wait until I tell your uncle" she almost shrieked

"no.. please it's just I was wondering...do you remember my mom?" harry had heard lots about his dad, everyone was always telling him how like James he was and how James had acted, bout no-body ever mentioned his mom.

For a second he thought she was going to start shrieking again, but she didn't. Instead she looked more closely at Harry.

"Of course I remember her, she was my sister, good at everything, mommy and daddies little angel, then she got herself married to that awful boy and was killed by a maniac. She was nothing but stupid" Aunt Pertunias lemon seemed to have turned into a grapefruit as a bitter look crossed her features.

"You must have liked her! she was your sister!" Harry's voice was a mix between anger and shock at the bitterness and resentfulness with which his aunt always treated the topic of his mother.

" I did once.... she betrayed me when she ran off to marry that .. that Potter boy! when she ditched me for magic and constantly tried to outshine me."

"Liar! you cared! you still care underneath" Harry was shocked, why had he shouted that. His aunt probably didn't care. Why should she? she hated her sister and harry and anything to do with his father.

Aunt petunia sat down with a thud on one of her pretty wooden kitchen chairs. Her eyes glazed.

"She left me with you" she seethed looking at Harry with hatred... or perhaps something between hurt, hate and fear

"I'm sorry...." Harry broke off looking at the floor, why did his aunt hate him? just because he looked like his dad? because he was a wizard? or ... or because.... another thought occurred suddenly to him.

"He wants to kill me too you know. Just like he killed her" as he spoke he fixed his blazing green eyes upon his aunts cool blue ones.

"I know" she swallowed, for the first time recognition and understanding creeping into her voice.

"You kept me because she saved my life.... my living was her last wish. Why didn't you refuse Dumbledore and leave me for him to kill?"

"Because she loved you, You were why she died! if you'd been left to die it would have been a waste of my sisters life." and there harry had his answer, his aunt hated him because his mother, her sister had killed herself trying to save him.

"You don't think there's never been a time I wished she'd never saved my life?, when I wished she had let me die?. How do you think it feels huh??" Harry demanded, anger rising in his cheeks. With that he leapt up from the table and marched to the stairs in the hallway, leaving his aunt gaping after him.