Disclaimer: I do not own any of Gravitation, but I'm happy those who do own it, created it.
Summary: Someone is dreaming of Hiro, but who? It soon becomes obvious (or at least should). Will their dreams ever come true and their feelings returned? You'll just have to read and find out! (Yeah, it's been done before, oh well).
Warning: This does involve a male/male relationship. But I'm guessing if you're reading gravitation fiction you're already expecting that. The rating is for safety, but I'm sure it'll get there later.
Beginning Note: I'm really nervous this is my first fan fiction ever! I just felt really romantic when thinking it up and Hiro is my favorite character. So please, I'd really like it if you would review. I'm fine with suggestions on improvement or you can even give any requests you have for this story or for one you'd like me to write in the future, I do have a very open mind. Also something you should know, "Example"is the way inner thoughts/talking will be presented and Example will be putting emphasis on something.
If Only I Could Tell You - Chapter 1
These lips pressed against mine are so sweet and tender. Hands start to explore my body. Who is it making me feel this way? I open my eyes to find closed ones, but I can still tell it's him, it's Hiro. I can feel him grin as we kiss. I grin back, enjoying the feel of his body against mine. My hands trail up his back and neck, feeling his burgundy hair between my fingers. His long, beautiful, silky soft hair right at my fingertips. I lean in and take a deep breath as he kisses my neck. "He smells of cinnamon, sweet and delicious cinnamon." He returns to my lips with even more energy. He grinds into me slightly causing my mouth to open, allowing him to deepen the kiss. A moan escapes my lips as his hands travel up my thighs. I wrap my leg around his waist. "This is so amazing … he's so amazing. I never want it to end. Never!" But that's where it ended. There was a loud ringing and everything suddenly went black around me and he faded away.
I didn't want to open my eyes just yet. "Whenever you say never on top of something it always happens. You should know this already. Just get up already or you'll run late." I can already feel the tears in my eyes about to fall down my face at the realization that all of it was a dream, a fantasy and nothing more. When I open my eyes there won't be any signs of it ever existing, even in my mind. "I wish I could have lingered in his arms just a little longer." But no matter how I wish it doesn't happen.
I glare at the source of that damn ringing mumbling a few curses. Yes, many may not believe it, but I do know those types of words. As much as I'd hate to admit it I'm a bit of a different person in my thoughts. "But isn't everyone somewhat different in their thoughts? I'm not saying entirely, but just a little? People think and imagine things they wouldn't actually say or do all the time." I sigh and pull the covers off my body. Suddenly being hit with a cold draft, I cry out with shock. I cuddle back up with my blankets and question myself on why I set my alarm clock anyway. Besides to torture myself with loud ringing just to fit someone else's schedule I mean. "Oh right, because I have to be professional. It's too hard to get up early in the mornings, even for me, which is saying something."
I manage to slither out of bed and make my way to the bathroom as I ruffle my hair into a mess. I let out a groan of displeasure as I bump into the partly open bathroom door, my vision still blurred by sleep. I try to rub them clear only to make them worse. I start to run the water for the shower. Steam starts to rise and I breathe some in as my shirt falls off my shoulders. I continue to strip off the rest of my clothes and step into the shower. The water stings as it hits my skin, but I slowly get used to it as it starts to sooth some of my tension. I soap up my hands and let them run along my body and through my hair. 'I feel a lot better now.' I watch the bubbles go down the drain as the water washes the soap off of me. Shaking my head the water droplets spray everywhere like rain. "If only it were that simple to wash feelings away. Then I wouldn't have to bother with the feeling of wanting something I can't have. You'd think being who I am I could just about have anything I want. That is such a joke."
I get out of the shower and dry off, wrapping the towel around my waist as I head back to my room. I pick out some clothes that seem to look good together; black jeans, a white dress shirt and a grey vest. 'Not very colorful, but oh well.' I grab my bag and look up at the clock and notice I'm running out of time. I suddenly catch a whiff of cinnamon. "What a coincidence. Just when I was over it I'm reminded of the dream. It makes me wonder though; would he really smell like cinnamon?"
I make it downstairs and take a cinnamon roll from the kitchen on my way out. "Bye!" I shout to anyone listening. "I'm off to rehearsals. I'll be back same time as usual."
"I better hurry or I'll be late and I can't be late. Shuichi wouldn't let me forget it. He wouldn't let me get mad whenever he's late from then on, I can't let that happen." I let out a small laugh with a smile to the last thought. I head out the door closing it behind me. I stare at my feet as I walk towards the sidewalk. "I'm letting this get to me too much. It was just a dream. It's not even the first of its kind, and yet …" Suddenly I'm snapped back to reality by a loud growl from an engine. I look up, hit with a sharp in-take of air that dries my throat.
There he is, in front of my house on that motorcycle of his. He almost glows, similar to the shine of his bike in the sun's rays. He's absolutely gorgeous sitting there looking at me. He swings one leg around so he's completely facing me. Sunglasses shade his eyes so I can barely make out his expression aside from the slight grin he has. It makes me so nervous for some reason. His beautiful mane hangs over his shoulders in its usual manner making him look like a lion hunting its prey. I smile as a thought comes to mind. "Am I that prey? No… wait … why is he here? Don't get me wrong, I'm rather happy to see him. But, he should be on his way to rehearsals, unless … unless he's here to give me a ride. He hasn't done that before. Why now? Oh no, he's staring at me. Say something to him!"
"At first I thought you would stare at your feet the whole time," he says before I have a chance to speak. "But now I have a feeling you're just going to daydream all day."
"Hiro?" I manage to say despite my dry throat and confusion. "What's wrong with me today? I knew it was him. Why did I say that like that, like a question? Hello works too."
He tips his sunglasses to look at me clearly. His grin seems to grow, making me more then uneasy of what he's thinking or about to do. He starts to laugh slightly.
"I know I'm beautiful," Hiro suddenly blurts in a rather cocky manner, "but there's no need to stare at me." This time his smile came off a bit goofy as though he was suddenly embarrassed. I slap my forehead. "Hopefully he realizes how bad that came off."
"You seem really confused, and I wish I could give you a moment to sort your brain, but we have to go or we'll be late." He tosses me a helmet and motions for me to get on as he swings his leg back over the other side. I look at the seat behind him; it's so small and so close to him. "Being that close to him will drive me crazy! Maybe I'll get lucky and the bike ride will make me sick enough not to notice." But of course I'm not going to turn his generous offer down, so I quickly get on.
He turns slightly towards me and asks, "Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?" I shake my head side to side. He lets out something that would resemble a nice cheerful laugh if it weren't for the strange feeling I got from it. He looks at me almost seductively and I choke slightly. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle." I think I stopped breathing for a moment. The tone in his voice causes me to blush and my heart to pound against my chest like a caged animal. He turns on the engine and says something, but it gets drowned out by the engine. I can't hear for the life of me. "Hold on tight!" he shouts. I just barely hear him this time, but the sudden movement of the bike still catches me off guard as I grip his shoulders tightly with a yelp.
It's bad enough that we're so close and he's obviously teasing me for some reason, but suddenly he adjusts his position on the bike causing friction between our bodies and I feel shivers pass through me. "Could it be he knows and this is some cruel joke to my feelings? No, he's…he's not that type of person. He may reject me if he knew, but I'm sure he'd be nice about it. No matter how much it would hurt me, he would try to be nice about it. However, sometimes being nice while doing something that can be mean or painful can make those things ten times worse." I close my eyes tightly, holding back the tears.
"Why am I getting so worked up, I was just thinking things over too much like always. Just because I think the worse doesn't mean that's how things are. I'm sure he's just teasing me. He does it to Shuichi all the time, I should be happy that he feels close enough to do that sort of thing with me." I take a few deep breaths to relax myself. I get a little too relaxed though and my head falls against his back.
"Are you ok?" he asks concerned. "You didn't fall asleep did you? I don't want you to fall off."
"No, I'm fine," I lie slightly. I'm not fine really, actually I feel like I'm going to be sick. "I don't think motorcycles are my thing. I didn't really mean that whole sick thing before. I'm completely comfortable with being aware of how close we are. Just please, make this pain in my stomach go away!"
Then like my mind is looking for the worse distraction it can possibly think of, I find myself glancing at his ass more then once. It's packed into those tight jeans of his. 'Damn it, beyond anyone else's knowledge, you can be quite perverted at times! Please just let this be over soon!'
Then as though he read my mind he says, "Don't worry, we're almost there." I grimace with panic at his accuracy to my thoughts. "I'm begging anyone who can hear my cries, do not let him be a mind reader. I'm too young, I deserve a few more years at least. I haven't even learned to drive yet. But that does remind me, I should learn soon to avoid moments like this, anymore might drive me mad. That's assuming this experience hasn't already done that."
We come to a stop and I feel my stomach start try settle. I frown a little looking at the ground, about to puke from the pain that still remains. He gets off and I can tell he's looking at me. I look up into his sweet concerned eyes.
"Are you sure you're ok Suguru?" he asks. "You know you can tell me anything, I mean it. I hate to see anyone I care about in pain or upset in anyway."
"Yes, I know," I say with one of my cheerful smiles. "I'm fine, my stomach just didn't agree with the ride over." I get off the bike and walk with him into the building. "If only I could tell you. Wait … did he say he cares about me?!"
Ending Note: I wasn't sure how this story was going to turn out. I wanted to end it with a hint of hope after all that angst. Please review and I'll upload chapters as fast as possible, depending on my inspiration at the time. I may make the next chapter calmer. I have another story stuffing my brain right now. I'm determined to finish this first. Hope you enjoyed!