A Meeting With McGonagall

Severus glanced at the clock on the wall as he hurriedly slipped on his black oxfords. He wanted plenty of time for breakfast before his first Charms test. As he tossed the covers over his bed, his transfiguration book fell to the floor. Cursing, Severus bent over and roughly grabbed the book; he straightened, and Severus suddenly had an eerie feeling he wasn't alone. Abruptly, Severus turned around and laid eyes on a school elf.

The elf squeaked in surprise. "Pardon me, Mr. Snape. This is for you."

Severus frowned and warily eyed the plain paper box the elf offered up. He wondered who sent the elf, as they typically didn't deliver things to students. "What is it?" Severus asked.

"Oh, Plinky doesn't know, Sir. Ms. Magowan only asked me to deliver the box."

Well, that answered one of his questions, Severus thought as he felt his body relax at the mention of Miriam's name. "Thank you," Severus said as he took the offered parcel. The elf bowed and disappeared as Severus inspected the box. Written on the lid in large black letters were the words 'this side up—fragile'. He sat the box on the bed and opened it. Inside were several stacks of jammie dodgers.

Severus looked at the perfectly circular biscuits with their glistening red centers. Cautiously, Severus took out his wand and waved it over the box. No dark magic was detected, which was what Severus suspected—but one could never be too careful. He picked one up, studied it, and took a bite. The crisp shell of the biscuit gave way to a delightful fluffy softness as the flavors of butter, vanilla, and strawberry flooded his mouth. Severus' eyes closed involuntarily and his empty hand covered his mouth as he chewed slowly.

"Good Lord," Severus sighed once he swallowed. It was the best jammie he'd ever ate—Miriam wasn't kidding when she told him she could bake. Severus popped the rest of the biscuit in his mouth, grabbed another, and hid the box in his nightstand before he hurried off to breakfast.

As Severus rushed down the dungeon corridor, he caught sight of Miriam. "Miriam!" Severus called out.

Miriam slowed and turned around when she heard Severus call her name. Silently, she watched the lanky wizard hurry towards her. He shifted his books to his other arm and put something in his mouth. Once Severus caught up to her, the pair continued walking.

"Good morning," Miriam said to Severus. "Ready for Charms?"

Severus swallowed. "Good morning, and yes, I'm ready." He took note of Miriam's tired countenance and frowned. "Are you ready?"

"I am." Miriam nodded and stifled a yawn.

"I received your package. Thank you for the jammies. They taste amazing, by the way."

Miriam blushed slightly. "You're welcome. I'm glad you like them."

"I do," Severus affirmed. "Though I must admit, I thought you were joking when you said you'd bake me biscuits."

"One should never joke about biscuits," Miriam teased before she quickly sobered. "I meant it, when I told you I was grateful for your help. Here, I don't have many means to show that gratitude, except nipping off to the kitchens."

Severus nodded as they walked to the Slytherin table. He sat across from Miriam and placed his books beside him on the bench. Miriam sighed heavily as she settled in. As she filled her plate with eggs, her eyes came to rest on a silver carafe.

"What's this?" Miriam slid the carafe towards her. She lifted the lid and inhaled. "I can't believe it!" A grin lit up her face.

"What?" Severus asked as Miriam grabbed a cup and turned it over.

"It's coffee!" Miriam breathed excitedly as she poured the dark, steaming liquid into her cup. "Thank the Gods, I'm so tired…"

Severus' eyes narrowed as Miriam mumbled something about studying and being in the kitchens last night, but decided not to press her. "We've never had coffee before. Well, the professors always do, but not the students," Severus mused. "Wonder what brought on this sudden change?"

"No idea, but I really need this, today," Miriam said humbly. Severus looked at Miriam oddly before he shrugged, turned a cup over and grabbed the carafe. Miriam raised the cup to her lips and gently blew across the dark liquid. She felt a pair of eyes watching her, and she turned her head slightly. Professor Dumbledore gazed back at her from the head table; he raised his own cup and nodded to Miriam. Miriam smiled shyly and nodded back, then turned her attention back to her breakfast.

"That test was ridiculous!" Violet declared. "And not in a boggart-banishing way, either. How do you think you did?"

"No idea." Miriam sighed and rubbed the palm of her right hand with her left. "All I know is writing so much made my hand cramp up."

"Yeah," Violet agreed. Side-by-side, they walked quickly to their next class. "Hey! Are you free after last period?"

Miriam shook her head. "Not today. I have a meeting with Professor McGonagall."

Violet's eyes widened. "Are you in trouble?"

"Oh, I hope not," Miriam said anxiously. "But I may as well be, with how my stomach's been in knots."

Violet grasped her arm as they stepped into the Transfiguration classroom. "You'll be fine! After all, she likes you," Violet reassured Miriam as they took their seats.

"I don't know," Miriam mumbled. She busied herself with taking things from her backpack as she thought about what Violet said. There was something about McGonagall's depth of knowledge and self-assured way she carried herself that inspired Miriam, but McGonagall was also intimidating. Because of that, Miriam still hadn't gathered the courage to speak with her professor about becoming an Animagus. And that's why you weren't sorted in Gryffindor, Miriam thought ruefully.

/-/-/-

"How are you settling in at Hogwarts, Ms. Magowan?" Minerva poured a cup of tea and handed it to Miriam, then poured another for herself.

Miriam took a sip of her tea as she thought about the answer. Her hand shook slightly as she placed the cup on its saucer, and Miriam blushed at the soft clatter. "Alright, I suppose. I like all my classes so far."

Professor McGonagall smiled kindly at Miriam. "All of the professors have spoken highly of your work and class participation. I certainly have no complaints."

Miriam felt her cheeks grow redder at the compliment. "Thank you, Professor."

"Now, what of your housemates? Are you making friends?"

Miriam frowned. "I haven't put much effort into making friends. Everyone seems settled in their groups already, with being fifth-years and all. Besides, I'd rather just focus on my studies."

As the girl talked, Minerva studied her. She knew there was so much more to Miriam than the composed façade she presented, so Minerva arranged an afternoon tea to hopefully get the girl to open up a bit. Her position as Deputy Headmistress afforded her more insight into Miriam's background than the other professors, and Minerva knew the young witch would eventually have to work through what brought her here. When that time came, friends would be a vital resource for Miriam, in addition to adults she felt comfortable confiding in.

"Effort or not, surely there are students you've gravitated to," Minerva prompted.

"I think so? Violet has been quite kind, and Severus has been helpful with getting me to class…and now that I'm on the Quidditch team, it feels like I belong a bit more."

McGonagall looked down her nose at Miriam. "But?"

Miriam bit her lip as she debated how much she wanted to share with Professor McGonagall. She didn't want to appear whiny or weak. "Well, it's been hard, too. There's a Ravenclaw, that's been picking on me a bit, and Sirius is just—." Miriam abruptly clammed up as she remembered that Sirius was a Gryffindor. How would McGonagall take Miriam disparaging one of her own house?

"Professor Slughorn did speak with me about the argument you had in Potions with Mr. Black and Mr. Potter. Are they still being a problem?"

Miriam noticed that McGonagall's lips had pursed into a thin line, which surprised her. "Sirius will always be a problem. He doesn't know how to act around me unless it involves getting under my skin. It's been that way since we were little, and I doubt that will ever change. I don't really know Potter," Miriam added.

Professor McGonagall sighed. "Unfortunately, I can't intercede regarding Mr. Campbell, though Professor Sprout is aware. As far as my house goes, rest assured I have my eye on Mr. Potter and his group of friends."

"Even Remus?" Miriam blurted out.

"Yes, even Mr. Lupin," Professor McGonagall said. "He's your childhood friend, isn't he?"

"Yes, ma'am, he is."

Minerva's face softened when she saw Miriam smile. It was the first, genuine smile she'd seen from the girl since she sat down. "I'm sure he's told you all about Hogwarts," she mused.

"Oh, of course!" Miriam said with a laugh. "Will as well. Though, his perceptions and my reality are quite different."

"I can imagine," Minerva said with a soft laugh. "Speaking of Will, I'm sure you're curious why I wanted to meet with you today."

What has Will done now, Miriam thought silently as her brow furrowed. Not trusting her voice, Miriam simply nodded her head yes.

Minerva noticed immediately the angry look that settled over Miriam's face. "Will sent me a letter," Professor McGonagall began as she pulled an envelope from her robe pocket. "Before we get to that, though, I'm curious as to why you are angry?"

Miriam took a long moment to put her thoughts in order, and drank some of her tea. "Will means well, truly. But sometimes his help complicates things—he's impulsive, and often says or does things without thinking of the long-term. I know he wants to make a way for me, but before I came here, I explicitly told Will I needed to stand on my own."

Professor McGonagall smiled. Miriam's desire for independence reminded her of Minerva's younger self. "I can understand that," McGonagall said with a nod. "In his letter, Will asked after you, naturally. He's worried about you throwing yourself headlong into your studies without—what was it," here, Minerva skimmed the letter—"ah, yes, 'taking time to make friends or enjoying the exciting things Hogwarts has to offer'."

"Well, for all his meddling ways, I never said Will didn't know me," Miriam said drily. "Did he write anything else?"

"Well, he mentioned that you were hoping to become an Animagus. Is that true?"

Miriam's eyes widened, then quickly dropped to the teacup in her lap. "Yes." Miriam's voice was barely a whisper.

"Yet, you never spoke with me about it. Why is that?"

Miriam raised her eyes. "I wanted to, desperately…but I wasn't sure how to ask. Besides, I doubt you have the time to take me on."

"I see. Ms. Magowan, why do you want to become an Animagus?" Minerva's question was laced with curiosity.

"Well," Miriam began slowly. "I have a few reasons." Professor McGonagall nodded in encouragement for Miriam to continue. "I want to learn everything I can about Transfiguration. Even the rare parts—which animagi are. To go through the process would also be a test of my dedication and magical ability. But the most important reason, for me, has to do with self-discovery."

Minerva tilted her head. "How so?" Miriam leaned forward a bit, and Minerva could see the excitement in Miriam's eyes.

"I've spent my whole life having people tell me what to do, how to act, what I am, how I shouldn't be. My parents never noticed me, unless it was to point out my failures. My grandparents—though they love me greatly—always stress tradition and propriety. They hope to mold me into a proper young witch, you know," Miriam said with a small laugh. "Even Will views me as Ian's younger sister first before seeing me as my own person." Here, Miriam paused. "You don't get to choose your Animagus…and I want to know what mine is. Maybe, it will help me discover who I am, and know what I'm supposed to do in this life. What's deep inside me that nobody has tapped into yet," Miriam said firmly.

Professor McGonagall was unprepared for that level of introspection from someone so young. She studied the young witch seated next to her, and chose her next words carefully. "Ms. Magowan, I can tell you have put a great deal of thought into this. As it so happens, I do have the time to take on a student willing to put forth the effort."

Miriam felt her mouth go dry. "Does that mean…" Her voice trailed off, too afraid to ask if that student was her.

Minerva nodded. "Yes, it does. There are, however, some conditions."

"Name them."

Minerva leaned forward and looked at Miriam. "This is your O.W.L. year. Use this time to complete your assignments and exams. I'd like to see you earn an 'O' in Transfiguration. Also, I want you to work on making friends and being involved. Quidditch is a great start, but I'd like you to find an additional activity to join. After all, friends are a valuable resource that must be cultivated; an additional extracurricular will help you with that, and form a deeper connection to Hogwarts. Then, we can begin your sixth-year with Animagus lessons. Can you do that?"

"Absolutely," Miriam answered without hesitation. She'd jump through hoops like a trained monkey if it meant learning animagi from Professor McGonagall.

Later, after tea, Miriam reflected on their conversation as she walked to the dungeons. She didn't know whether to thank Will, or kick him in the shins for forcing her hand the next time she saw him. Probably the former, Miriam mused, because if left to her own devices it would have been ages before she talked with McGonagall. Miriam decided to put those thoughts aside as she mulled over Professor McGonagall's conditions. Staying on top of her homework and grades would be easy, and Miriam felt certain she could achieve an 'O' in Transfiguration, but making friends?

Miriam sighed heavily and folded her arms in front of her as she walked. Truthfully, Miriam didn't mind having friends; in fact, she'd love to have more. If she did, maybe Miriam wouldn't feel alone even when she was surrounded by other people. However, breaking into established social circles was never easy. Trust was not something Miriam held in abundance, but Miriam was willing to trust McGonagall and do what she asked.

/-/-/-

Severus sat his astronomy book on the floor beside the large orrery in the astronomy tower and fastened his cloak. Nightfall brought the cold wind down from the hills, and Severus absentmindedly patted his pockets to check for his gloves. Satisfied, he knelt down and pulled out his star chart.

Light, quick steps on the stairs caught his attention, and Severus looked over his shoulder just as Miriam appeared in the doorway. She was breathing fast, as though she'd ran up to the top without stopping.

"Oh, hello, Severus."

"Miriam," Severus replied.

Miriam hesitated and shifted her weight from one foot to the other, unsure if she should stay. Severus didn't look too happy to see her. Bugger it, Miriam thought. This was the only time she had free, and she needed to finish her star chart. Miriam walked across the room as she spoke. "Sorry to interrupt. I'll try to stay out of your way, I just need to work on my star chart."

Severus nodded his head. "That's why I'm here as well. Would you like to work together?"

Miriam's eyes widened in surprise. "Yes, I'd love to!"

The words had slipped out of his mouth without thought, and they surprised him as much as Miriam. Usually, Severus preferred to work alone. However, Severus hadn't really spent time with anyone lately, and he was lonely. Lily was busy with her housemates, and Severus hadn't felt up to dealing with Avery, Mulciber and Wilkes. So, Severus kept to himself.

Severus watched silently as Miriam dropped her bag beside him and joined Severus on the floor. She had on her practice Quidditch uniform, and though her hair was braided, Severus noticed how several curls escaped the hairstyle. They were frizzy from the wind and stuck up stubbornly about her head.

"I'm surprised there aren't more people here tonight," Miriam said as she pulled out her sextant and unrolled her chart.

"Most people wait until the last minute and then copy answers," Severus replied.

Miriam frowned deeply. "What a dishonest approach! Astronomy may not be my favorite class, but I still try to learn something. Perhaps they should try that, too."

Severus hummed in agreement. The two settled in and waited for the night sky to reveal its answers. After alternating bouts of silence and work, Severus looked at Miriam.

"Why don't you like astronomy?"

Miriam contemplated Severus' question for a moment. "It's not that I dislike it; there are just other classes that I find more practical. I mean, knowing how moon phases work with certain potions is helpful, but I can't see myself using it much beyond that. You won't catch me using the stars to navigate the seas, and I have no use for divination. Then again, that veers off into astrology, which is utter rubbish."

"No checking your horoscope or reading tea leaves for you, I take it?"

"No!" Miriam scoffed. "I hate it when people try to pass off their personality traits as a part of their zodiac. 'Oh, I'm an Aries, that's why my life is chaotic'," Miriam said in a high falsetto. She shook her head and continued in her normal voice, "No, you're just an indecisive, ill-tempered dunderhead."

Severus looked at her, his dark eyes wide. Miriam was certainly in a mood tonight.

When Miriam saw Severus' face, she realized she said too much. "Sorry, I'm just in a bad mood. It's been nonstop all week, and Quidditch was the last thing I wanted to do tonight. Practice was hard, and I fell off my broom a few times."

It was then Severus noticed the grass stains on Miriam's pants, mixed with scuffs of dirt. "No apology needed. Your views about astrology are savage, yet astute."

"Well, I am a Capricorn, after all," Miriam mockingly replied.

"Really? So am I."

Miriam perked up and turned to face Severus. "When's your birthday?"

"January ninth. You?"

"January thirteenth!" Miriam shook her head, an amused smile on her face. "Imagine that."

Silence settled over the pair as they checked the skies once more. Severus finished filling in an answer on his chart and watched Miriam work on hers. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Severus. "I haven't seen much of you this week. Where have you been?"

Miriam rolled her eyes and shifted her weight. As she did so, she pulled a pair of gloves out of her cloak pocket. "Doing research."

"What kind of research?" Severus asked with a frown.

A disgruntled sound escaped her as Miriam tugged on her fingerless gloves. "If I tell you something, can I trust you'll keep it in confidence?"

"You can."

"I had a meeting with Professor McGonagall earlier this week. Checking in with me, and whatnot." Severus nodded, and Miriam continued. "She wants me to join another extracurricular activity, so I've been looking at my options."

"Quidditch and your studies aren't enough?"

Miriam shook her head. "Apparently not. She asked that I 'put myself out there and make friends', and I agreed to try."

Severus' large nose wrinkled with distaste. "That sounds like a slow form of torture. Why would you willingly do that?"

Miriam snickered. "Well," Miriam sighed and turned her body so that she and Severus were facing one another, and Miriam studied Severus for a few moments. "I really, really want to become an Animagus. McGonagall agreed to teach me at the start of my sixth year, provided I do what she asks." Miriam hesitated. "I appreciate you keeping this between us. If everyone knew, it'd be just another thing people would use to make fun of me."

Severus nodded; he was well aware of what Miriam spoke about, having been on the receiving end of such teasing. "That's a long process, but I'm sure you know that already," Severus told Miriam. She nodded. "I would have never thought you of all people would be interested in animagi."

Miriam smirked and spread her hands wide. "And yet, here we are."

"Indeed. Any other secrets you wish to confess?"

Miriam burst out laughing. "What are you, a priest?" Severus smirked and looked down at his hands resting in his lap. Miriam smiled. She realized she missed talking to Severus. He never showed any undue interest towards her, yet he was polite and helpful when Miriam had need of him. Perhaps it was Severus' boundaries and how he respected Miriam's that made him easy to spend time with. Miriam hesitated as she mulled something over. "I don't have any more confessions, but would you like to see a trick?"

Severus looked at Miriam and sat a little straighter. "Sure."

"Put on your gloves." Severus looked at her oddly. "Go on," Miriam encouraged, "you'll want them, trust me."

Skeptical, Severus reached into his pocket and pulled on his gloves. He silently watched Miriam as she sat her wand next to her. She took a deep breath and raised her hands about fifteen centimeters apart with the palms facing one another, fingers spread. Miriam twisted her hands in a circular motion, and a translucent sphere formed between them. Severus' dark eyes widened as the sphere turned to ice; snowflakes began to form and swirl inside it.

Miriam smiled. "Cup your hands." Severus did as she asked, and Miriam placed the sphere in his hands. She moved her hands beneath his, close to, but not touching Severus.

Severus felt the cold begin to seep through his gloves from Miriam's hands, but he didn't care. He was captivated by the swirling snow. Severus was suddenly remined of a past Christmas at Gram and Pop's house. Gram had kept every ornament and bobble she'd collected over the years, and that included a few snow globes. There was one that held a snowman next to an evergreen that Severus was quite taken with. He remembered sitting curled up in the corner of the worn old sofa, shaking the snow globe and watching the snow swirl to the bottom before doing it all over again. He tore his eyes away from the snow swirling in his hands to look at Miriam. "Doesn't the cold bother you?"

"No, not really," Miriam answered with a shake of her head. "Finite." With those words, the snow globe disappeared.

"That's an impressive bit of wandless magic," Severus said. He rubbed his hands together to warm them. "Where did you learn that?"

"I found a book on elemental magic, and experimented with it because I was bored. That's what I came up with," Miriam said shyly as she deflected the compliment. "I'd like to work more with elemental magic, but there isn't much written about the subject."

"Well, it's enchanting."

"But not very useful," Miriam finished.

"I suppose that depends on how you define useful. Sometimes, the enjoyment you get from something is its purpose," Severus said. Miriam blushed and looked down at her hands. Her embarrassment made Severus uncomfortable, and he fidgeted with his sextant as the silence stretched long.

In the silence, Miriam gathered her thoughts. What started as an awkward evening turned into a productive one. Miriam could cross this assignment off her to-do list, and she realized how much happier she felt than when she arrived. Her change in mood was largely due to Severus, Miriam realized; she enjoyed talking with the lanky wizard.

"Severus?"

"Hmm?" Severus looked up to find Miriam studying him intently.

"Thank you, for allowing me to work with you, tonight. I needed this," Miriam said.

Severus frowned. He doubted Miriam needed any help with her star chart, but Severus decided to be polite. "You're welcome."

Miriam smiled and shook her head. "I didn't mean the assignment; I meant the conversation. I didn't realize how lonely I was until just now, and I want you to know I enjoy talking with you."

"Oh," Severus said, the surprise evident in his voice. "Well, I enjoy talking with you, too," Severus admitted.

"Good." Miriam smiled brightly. "Let's not wait so long between chats next time, yeah?"

Severus thought about it, then nodded his head yes. "I'd like that."