Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or the song.

Summary: Chichi finally knows what's going on, so can both work it out, or is the family a broken home?

Never again shall this pain heal

Chapter three: Love is the key

"What do you mean letters?" Gohan asked while eyeing his mother.

Chichi looked deep into his eyes, "Don't try and fool me son, I know about your letters to your father."

Gohan was shocked. His mother knew? How? Was she spying on him? Did she not trust him? This made him angry…but he stayed calm for now.

"I am not trying to fool you, and what about the letters?" He said trying to not swear.

"Why are you so angry at your father?" Chichi asked.

Gohan growled. "Father? Father!? He was never my father and never will be! Was he there when I cried? He left me when I was four for crying out loud! He did nothing! I don't consider him my father!" he spat.

Chichi comprehended of what Gohan had just said and slapped him clear across the face. Gohan stared hard at his mother and put a hand on his cheek. Chichi looked at her own hand in shock, how could she do that?

Goten, who witnessed this, got out of his chair and ran to Gohan. "Gohawn! Are you all right? Mommy, why did you hurt him?! Why?!" he cried.

Gohan stepped away from his mother…backed away. Sure the slap didn't hurt, but how could she even think of hitting her own son? Though something inside said he shouldn't be mad at her…something deep inside.

 He finally came to his senses and walked away. He heard his mother crying, "Gohan, I am so sorry!"

Gohan ignored it and walked out of the door. Goten ran after him along with Chichi. "Don't go Gohawn!" Goten cried.

Gohan kept walking away from his home. He didn't belong any where…never will. He had enough and ran clear across the woods. Gohan couldn't stand it…it was just too painful. He didn't want to run away, but someone he loved tried to hurt him.

Gohan couldn't abandon his family like that it wasn't good. He wasn't his father after all, so he flew back.

Chichi and Goten noticed the figure flying back to them. They ran up to him as he landed and hugged him.

"I am so sorry Gohan, I didn't let you tell the truth," Chichi cried.

Gohan hugged both of them back…he loved them and would never leave like that again. Gohan said he needed time to think, so he needed to go out. Chichi trusted him and went inside the house with Goten, who was sleeping.

He finally flew in the air off to a different direction…somewhere familiar. He looked around him and it was a deserted type of place…the place where the Cell games were held.

Gohan didn't even notice himself in his Super Saiyan form. He was crying…his heart stinging. How could he almost run out from his family like that? He wasn't his father…not at all. His father wasn't even a true dad…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hey Dad, where you been for so long?
Why won't you look at me?
Is there something wrong?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Why doesn't he even look at me? It's like he tried to avoid something or me. Maybe that's how it is…he hates me and I hate him…what a perfect relation ship…

Maybe there is something wrong with me, but what is it? Is it because I am stronger than him? Smarter? More of a Saiyan…what?

Why did he not look at me with love? He cared about everyone else but me, and is that supposed to make me feel happy? God damnit, shit! Why am I so alone in this world?

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Do you remember me, the son that you conceived?
Why won't you look at me?
A son that you deceived.

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Maybe I was some sort of accident when they conceived me…maybe he doesn't even remember I exist. I mean come on, he was the one who wanted a son, but maybe I am not good enough for him. That's probably why he wont look at me.

I was not meant to be in this world…I am nothing…

I am of no use to anyone on this planet, though I feel someone at least care's about me. It is my father's fault, him and his deceptive ways.

He was born with Saiyan blood, and a face of deception. I thought he loved me, but I guess he just deceived me…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Oh God, what did I do to deserve this?
A man I never knew.
A man I cannot miss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I didn't do anything wrong did I? Why doesn't my father care about me? My mother hit me, and my father left me. I shouldn't deserve such a cruel life…not ever…

Who was my father really? I never knew him really. He never spent time with me…he let go of my baby carriage when I was a baby, shows how much he loved me…

Mother asks me why I wrote those letters to him, this is why: How can you miss someone you never knew. How can I love someone who was never there for me? How can I not write such hateful letters when your own father left you around five times?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I gave you many chances, many that you took.
And now I stand before you,
You won't even look.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So many chances he had… and he took them…

When I was four, I had to save him…when I was on Namek…I gave him a chance, and he blew it. He had to be the hero of the day once more. When I stood before him, he didn't even look.

He told me to go away, to a different place. He didn't want help when I offered. Why am I such a bad person?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
How can we start all over when we never began?
How can you be a father,
When you're not even a man?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After all the pain he put me and mother through, how can I start all over with him? I never even had a relationship with my father, so how can I start over?

How can I have such a cruel father that hates you and isn't even one when he isn't a man? If he was a true man, father, Saiyan, his will would not take him away from his family.

He was never a man…not in my eyes…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Why do you play these games?
That are in my head
You said you'd love me dearly,
but it looks like he's dead.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Why did he mess around with my head and emotions? He said I was his son and he loved me. He said he'd be there for me…

Why did he say he loved me dearly with his heart, and he would protect me? Why did he promise to always help me when he is dead?

Why do I even think about him…I need to find the real reason of hate that is inside me…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Oh God, what did I do to deserve this?
A man I never knew.
A man I cannot miss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I look deep into the desert. I sit down looking hard and remembering the fight that had been there around three years ago.

Why did he have to make his 'noble' sacrifice? Did my father really love me? Did he really care enough about me? I guess I was just too hard on him…though I still don't miss him, 'cause I never knew him…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
How can we start all over when we never began?
How can you be a father,
When you're not even a man?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Did he really care…is he everything that people said about him? When I have a family of my own, I will never run out on them…

Maybe I don't hate him as much…maybe he is a hero…

Maybe he is a man…maybe a father if I get to know him…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Why do you play these games?
That are in my head
You said you'd love me dearly,
but it looks like he's dead. (hey dad, hey dad)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gohan still lay there looking into the darkening sky. Love…is it real? I still can't figure it out…if you love someone you don't die…

Your not suppose to do that, are you?

Is love expressed in different ways? Can you die for someone you love? Of course! It is true!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So then came kids of my own.
I was there for them.
I am the man you couldn't be. (I didn't learn from him.)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Three years later

I finally have my own child, one I love dearly. I found someone who loved me…Videl. You came back father…I am not that angry anymore. I can't be…you saved us all.

Though I am still mad at you, I have a child now, and I will never leave her or my wife. I am a father, the one you couldn't be…

Death…

You died…and didn't come back only to fight. Well you got your ultimate fight, but somewhere out there, there are more rivals against you.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Where he is, I don't even know at all.
I don't even remember,
The last time he called.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Three years later

Videl and I are at home; with our child…she is so happy and charming just like her mother. Where are you father? Did you go off to train another person for ten years? Why did you leave? Once again pain struck many.

Pan was so depressed when you left…she asked and cried so much why you left to train a complete stranger…

I couldn't answer my baby just like Goten… I couldn't answer them…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
How can we start all over when we never began?
How can you be a father,
When you're not even a man?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I sit outside on he beach with the whole gang. We took a trip, and I keep thinking about you…my father…

Yes I realized, thanks to Videl, that you are a father. She had the same problems with Hercule he ignored her…

I don't think we can start over again though, as I said, our relationship as father and son never began…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Why do you play these games?
That are in my head
You said you'd love me dearly,
but it looks like he's dead.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I still wonder if love is true, some emotions are just plain crazy. Pan is still sad you left, but we are making everything better. A lot of people miss you, even Vegeta…

You put a lot of craziness in everyone's head dad, why did you do that? Ever since I was twelve I really hated you, and the scars run deep. I don't think my love will heal the wounds are never healing.

My head was mixed up between love and hate, it felt as though the black water mist took over me and filled me with insane, hateful, bitter, and outrageous thoughts. I will stop the letters, and they will end.

You said you loved me, and I believe you dad, I will say it, and say it now…

"I love you dad."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Oh God, what did I do to deserve this?
A man I never knew.
A man I cannot miss.
How can we start all over?

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