I OWN NONE of these characters except for Captain Madison Wiles. ; )

Okey dokey, chapter one is finished. Thank you to those who reviewed. I hope you like the finished chapter, the finally decided on title, and will keep reading!!


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"Radar!" Henry said.

"Yes sir, here's the message from HQ."

"Get me that message from. oh, ok, thank you Radar."

"You're welcome sir." Radar turned to leave but was stopped by Cornel Blake.

"Ok, Hawkeye, McIntyre, we're getting a new surgeon. I don't know his name or anything like that, they just said, we have a new surgeon coming." Henry shrugged.

"Does this mean, what I think it means Henry? Does this mean, Henry, that we can have more sleep? SHARE some responsibilities with a REAL surgeon!?!"

"Yeah Pierce, that's what it means."

Hawkeye began whooping and getting very excited, he and McIntyre exchanging ideas on what they would do with extra free time. But they were interrupted by Cornel Blake.

"Yeah, but uh. he'll be bunking with you guys." He added reluctantly.


"Henry," McIntyre protested, "we're squeezed in there like sardines as it is! We got four people in there. Five if you count Frank's big head."

"Henry, let him sleep with Radar, there's plenty of room here in the office. He could sleep on the desk."

"Uh, uh, no sirs, you guys have to sleep during the day sometimes and I can't have a surgeon trying to sleep, he'll get mad at me sirs." Radar protested.

Henry walked around the desk placing each arm around the two captains. Leading them out he said, "Guys, suck in, and suck up. Suck IT up I mean." He smiled and watched as the two left, vowing to get back at Henry.

"Radar, wasn't there another message that came in from Hq?" He asked exasperated.

"Well, yes sir, but I didn't think it was too important, as a matter of fact sir, uh, it was kind of confusing sir."

"Well, just read it to me Radar," Henry sat in his chair and closed his eyes, "I'm too tired to read right now."

"Um, okay sir. ehem, uh, Captain Madison Wiles will be arriving tomorrow." Radar smiled "That's it, that's all they told me sir, it came in a few minutes after the first message."

"Well, tell Major Houlihan, Captain Wiles will have to bunk with her, there's no other place for her to go." Henry said with his eyes still closed. He reached up and pulled his hat down over his eyes and tried to fall asleep.

"Uh, yes sir, I'll do that right away sir." Radar left Henry's office and walked outside.

The M*A*S*H 4077 unit was peaceful for once. Most were asleep, tired from the wounded the night before. Those who were awake were busy doing daily tasks, hanging out their laundry or coming and going from showers. A few of the nurses were laying beside their tents with their bathing suits on, just relaxing. Radar was thankful for the temperature. It wasn't often that he could walk outside in the middle of the summer and not have sweat dripping down his nose and his shirt clinging to him.

When he reached Margaret's tent he knocked on the door, receiving an angry reply.

"WHAT!!??" She yelled from inside.

"Um, ma'am, I got a message from Cornel Blake for you ma'am."

"Okay Radar, what is it?" She asked as she opened the door.

"Uh, ma'am, I can come back." Radar offered.

"No, I'm sorry Radar, what is it?"

"Well, Cornel Blake told me to tell you that there's a new Captain coming."

"And why do I need to know this Corporal?" Margaret asked indignantly.

"Well, because she'll be bunking with you ma'am." As Margaret began to yell obscenities Radar pleaded, "please don't kill the messenger ma'am." With that, he ran away, holding his hat to his head.

Radar, having nothing to do, headed toward his animals. They were his favorite people to talk to. As he passed the swamp he saw Hawkeye and McIntyre sitting just outside drinking. They were laughing as Frank, who apparently had lost something of value, or it was hidden from him, was yelling at them with his usual military superior speech. Radar chuckled. He loved to be around Hawkeye and McIntyre, they always made him laugh, no matter what kind of mood he may be in.

He had just walked around the bushes in front of his animals when he stopped, listening. He quickly ran out from behind the bushes:



Madison Wiles sat in the back of the jeep taking in her new surroundings. The jeep sat in front of the only solid structure she could see, besides the latrine. The rest were green tents, fabric, most of them with their flaps up.

Two men were walking towards the building laughing. Madison chuckled when she saw what they were wearing. Both had robes on, one red, the other yellow. Not wanting people to think her staring, she looked away when they noticed her. She chanced a peek back and saw them fixing each others hair and standing up straighter.

Just before they had reached her jeep, the driver returned and helped her down. She waved her fingers at them as she was led into the building.

Inside was definitely the company clerks office. The radio and switch board on the desk gave it away. The man operating the switchboard wore a green hat and looked a little confused.

"I know SHE'S coming today, but when's our surgeon getting here? Really? Wow! Well why didn't you say so!!!?? Yeah?? You too!!!" with that he slammed the microphone on the desk.

"Corporal." The sergeant said, "Here SHE is, and her is your new surgeon, all rolled up into one." He smirked.

The corporal stood quickly and saluted Madison. "Captain."

"At ease corporal. There's no need for that." She shook her head smiling. "I hate salutes."

"Oh you'll fit in just fine here captain." He smirked. "Thank you sergeant, I can introduce her to the cornel." As the sergeant left, the corporal held out his hand. "You do shake hands don't you?" he asked smiling.

"Of course, you should know who I am," she said shaking his hand, "now who are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, I'm Radar, Corporal Radar O'Reilly ma'am." Standing, Radar was just a few centimeters shorter that she. She figured they'd be the same height when she took her heels off. Smiling, she watched as he turned and told her he would introduce her to the CO.

As they walked through the door, Madison smoothed out her skirt, and brushed off the sleeve of her uniform. When she entered, she realized it was probably a wasted effort. The man sitting behind the desk wore a fishing vest and cap, with lures attached to the hat. When he stood he had to put down his tumbler, which had something that resembled whiskey in it, to shake her hand. Madison suddenly realized she was going to feel right at home.

"Uh, cornel. This is Captain Madison Wiles." Radar began.

"Nice to meet you captain, I'm Henry Blake. What brings you to our less than humble MASH unit?" He smiled and moved around the desk, standing right next to her.

"Um, cornel, she's the new surgeon." Radar whispered.

"What! Why didn't you tell me?" Henry whispered back.

"I just did sir!" Radar said through his teeth. Madison laughed at the two who apparently went through that often. "Sir," Radar gestured toward Madison.

"Oh, sorry Captain, uh, so, welcome to the 4077. Pierce! McIntyre!" He said as the two robed men came in through the door. "Meet our new surgeon, Captain, Captain."

"Captain Madison Wiles" Madison held out her hand to the man in red. The two men were both suddenly right next to her, breathing down her neck.

"Radar, cancel our discharge papers." the man in red said.

"Yeah, I think we'll be staying a little while longer." the man in yellow finished.

"It's wonderful to meet you Madison, I'm Captain Pierce, and this is Captain McIntyre. But the Captain part isn't necessary."

"Mind if Hawkeye and I show you around the place?" McIntyre asked her.

"Guys, let her at least get settled in first." Henry said. Hawkeye and McIntyre now had a new offer for her.

"That sound good, why don't we show her to her new home Hawkeye?" McIntyre said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Alright, the swamp is right this way."

"HOLD IT!" Henry said as they tried to guide her out the door. "She's staying with Margaret." He told them.

"Aw shucks Henry. Why do you always have to go and spoil the fun."

Madison bit her tongue trying not laugh too loud. She suddenly had a great idea that she figured would throw the two for a loop. "Um, sir." She began to speak up.

"Oh, call me Henry."

"Ok. Henry. um, I don't need to settle in right now." she looked at Hawkeye and McIntyre who were looking very hopeful. "But." she said, "I only really need one person to show me around, don't I?" She asked innocently.

"I saw her first." Hawkeye said.

"No way buddy, you may have saw her first, but, but, she likes me better, don't you doll?" He asked sweetly.

"Actually," Madison began, "I was thinking of.Radar." She looked from one Captain to the other watching their reactions and laughing.

"Trap, I think we need to shrink. we're being passed under, they're going straight to short guys now." Hawkeye said. He and McIntyre bent at the knees and held out their arms.

"How's this?" McIntyre asked.

"I want Radar, come on Radar, show me around camp?" Madison asked.

"Me sir. uh, ma'am?" Radar asked unsure. He glanced questioningly at Henry who just shrugged his shoulders. Smiling, Radar walked over to Madison and held out his elbow. She put her arm through his and they walked out of Henry's office together.


"And last but not least, the dreaded mess tent." Radar said as they entered the mess. The two had walked around the MASH for two hours, talking, laughing, and sharing stories. Radar was very comfortable with Madison. His normal nervousness and fumbling had completely disappeared.

"I'm sorry you have to eat what we eat now, it takes a while to get used to, but I like it," he said. Then he added, shrugging his shoulder and smiling, "most of the time."

Madison laughed and informed Radar that she was a vegetarian. "WOW!! Really!??" he asked shocked.

"Yeah, I haven't eaten meat since I was twelve years old." She nodded, "The main reason is because I have a whole bunch of animals back home that I take care of. Mice, gophers, cat's, rabbits, I had a pig, but my mother made me get rid of him, and I have some fish, but they aren't that hard to take care of. I even had a baby deer once." She said proudly. "I called her Christy, one night while I had her, mom made venison for dinner, when she told me what it was, I spit it out, and haven't eaten meat since."

Radar stared at Madison dumb founded. He couldn't believe his ears. Some where, some how, he always knew that there had to be a member of the opposite sex that was just like him, but he never imagined he'd find her here, in the most rotten place on earth.

"Would you like to see something?" Radar asked her.

"Sure, what?"

"It's a surprise, close your eyes, and I'll take you there."

"All right Radar," she said closing her eyes, "my life is now in your capable hands."

Radar began to blush as he took Madison's hand in his. He led her slowly out of the mess and around to his animals. "Okay, just hold your arms out, no peeking." He said.

Madison stood still with her arms held straight out. She couldn't figure out what Radar was up to. The smell was familiar, but there were no unusual sounds, she jumped as he placed something in her hands. It was something soft, with, with... fur.

Madison opened her eyes to find a small, white rabbit in her arms. In front of her was a square of square cages, each with a different sort of critter in it. Madison was awe struck. Her eyes opened wide as she looked from animal to animal. She lifted the rabbit to her eye level and looked it over. She stroked his fur and checked his legs and his tail.

"They make this place a little bit less un-bearable." Radar told her.

"Wow, did you rescue all of these?" she asked him excitedly.

"Yeah, most of them were hurt or something, the rabbit you're holding had a broken leg. I did the best I could for him, but it set that way." Madison felt the broken leg for a second time.

"I wish I had been here for him," she said, "I worked for the local veterinarian for six years. I could have fixed him right up." She said half to Radar and half to the rabbit.

"You seem to like animals a whole lot," Radar said confused, "why did you become a surgeon? Why didn't you become a veterinarian?"

"I value human life just as much as my animals. I did start off to become a vet, but after a year, I thought I could do even more good as a doctor. So, I transferred. I was the only female in my graduating class at Stanford, and I didn't even get to have a real job before I got shipped here." She shrugged her shoulders while placing the rabbit back in his cage.

"Well," Radar said, suddenly listening to something far off, "you're about to start you're first 'real' job here,"

Madison was confused for only a split second before she heard them, the choppers.

"Wounded?" she asked Radar.

"Yup, come on, there are probably ambulances on their way too." Radar ran ahead of Madison and began assisting Hawkeye with the wounded that had just arrived in jeeps, ambulances, buses, and the ones that were brought down from the helicopter pad.

As she tended to the wounded she always noticed Radar out of the corner of her eye, doing what he was told, and often telling others what to do.

Hawkeye, noticing who she was watching, came over to her, "He's one great guy, Radar is." He said honestly, "I don't know what we'd ever do without him."

"I can see that," she said as she went to the next soldier, "and I've only been here for two and a half hours."

"Well, from the looks of it, " he said, looking up at the four more ambulances that had just arrived, "you'll be seeing a lot more of it."


I hope you've enjoyed it. I should have the next chapter up fairly soon. Thank you, and as always, Please review~~~~ Thank you.