Sup. How's life lads.

How am I doing? Wonderful, thank you for asking. Mighty kind of you if I do say so myself.

This is my first attempt at writing Naruto in a zombie world sort of setting so it should be interesting. I do hope you all come to like, possibly even love this story as I plan on adding a few twists to our loveable character's personality.

Now there is one more thing I'd like to mention, if you have read my other stories then you know that I usually drift away from canon, this story unfortunately is gonna be following canon but only until we reach the part from where our group reaches the Takagi estate, what happens after that is a mystery.

Also I will say this from now but I will be shipping Saya with Kouta, I feel bad for the guy and y'know what, my man deserves a shot at happiness too.

One more thing, even though this story is technically a harem story, it will be mainly a Naruto x Shizuka pairing before we go to the harem routh.

Now, no more chit-chat, let's have a good time.

Start:

Insane.

A sarcastic bastard.

A complete and utter ass.

If a student of Fujimi Academy were asked to give their honest opinion of one Naruto Uzumaki and they possessed the knowledge of knowing that no harm would befall them from badmouthing the blonde menace. That would be some of the more common responses from the student masses.

It didn't matter that the whiskered blonde possessed a body that could cause Greek Gods to go green with envy or that his handsome face could shame male supermodels and draw out swoons from all but the most loyal of married women.

It just didn't matter!

Naruto Uzumaki was hated by nearly all the students and staff of Fujimi academy and loved by only a rare few.

The reason for why that was the case was quite simple.

He was an equal opportunist bully.

He didn't discriminate by bullying just the weak. No! He bullied all.

He bullied the bullies, bullied the teachers, the average student, the weirdo students, the popular students, even the janitor!

Naruto Uzumaki truly meant it when he identified himself as an equal opportunist bully two years ago in his homeroom class.

The only one excluded from the whiskered blonde's ruthless pranking was the school nurse Shizuka Marikawa and that was because he privately thought of his fellow blonde as his soulmate.

Everyone else didn't have that luxury and as such, the past two years had them either witness an unfortunate soul lose their pride and sanity or worse! They would be the unfortunate ones who would have their dignity crushed into shambles.

Now one would be wondering… How exactly was it that Naruto still remained a student in Fujimi Academy and not suffer a single ounce of punishment? After all, some of the blonde's more extreme…Pranking? Regardless, it definitely would have resulted in expulsion.

The answer to that question was quite easy yet quite mind-boggling.

He never got caught.

Naruto Uzumaki who had perpetrated hundreds upon hundreds of pranks in the past two years was never caught, not even once.

The only reason people knew it was him was because of his disturbing declaration on his first day of enrollment, something that had to do with him saying that he would make the life of everyone in the building hell for the next three years.

Well, that and because of the wicked grin that was painted on his visage whenever he got to witness the fruits of his labor happen just as it began to take effect on the unfortunate soul of the day. Or souls.

Learning that no matter what happened that the prank king of hell wouldn't get caught, a large group of delinquents banded together and resolved to teach the blonde some manners themselves.

The very next morning had found those same delinquents naked, unconscious, and each of them bent over and strapped to the top rails of the chair while all manners of stationaries were jammed into their rectums.

Now would be a good time to mention that scrawled on the upper part of their back, different sentences praising Naruto Uzumaki were written with the use of a permanent red marker.

When the large group of delinquents had woken up, they had immediately burst into tears, shoulders quaking uncontrollably as they vividly remembered the unpleasant experience that Naruto had put them through.

Seeing the potential in finally outing the prankster menace from the school, the staff questioned the delinquents about Naruto Uzumaki's involvement, feelings of euphoria and satisfaction submerging their existence as they visualized their academy without Naruto's presence.

They were left feeling disappointment as the delinquents only cried even harder before all of them swiftly dropped out of the academy, never again seen by the student masses.

Since then, everyone never once had entertained the thought about confronting the blonde themselves, none of them possessing the balls to try to reprimand him after what he had done to that large group of delinquents.

Only a rare few people were an exception to that rule.

Now well into his third year, Naruto walked the hallways of Fujimi Academy, a merry tune dancing on the tip of his tongue as he flashed smiles at the nervous students littering the hallway, chuckling as some of them 'eeped' while others gained extremely frightened looks, a few even began to sob much to his amusement.

He wasn't that bad.

Then again he couldn't blame them too much considering what he had put them through daily.

Currently the whiskered student possessed a mission, an important one.

A mission that had him arrive right at the doorsteps of the nurse's office.

Silently opening the door and walking inside, he shut it behind him before stealthily ambling his way towards the unsuspecting back of Shizuka Marikawa, a small pout decorating his visage as his favorite nurse wore that disgusting extra large size lab coat that shielded her fine, huge rump from prying eyes.

Once just a step away from having his chest meet her back, he pulled out a beautiful flower before smoothly bringing it underneath Shizuka's nose.

Shizuka gasped before a large smile blossomed onto her visage, gently twirling towards her fellow blonde so she could face him.

Accepting the flower in hand, Shizuka giggled as she sent an exasperated yet fond look towards her most favorite student. "Another flower Naruto-Kun? When will you stop giving me flowers? And it's a lotus flower I see."

Naruto grinned, "You know I can't stop giving you flowers everyday Shizuka-Chan. I've been doing that for two full years now. After all, the most beautiful woman in the world deserves to have her beauty appreciated.

An understatement if there ever was one, the whiskered delinquent thought internally.

Whether she liked it or not, the fact was, Shizuka Marikawa was a woman that garnered the lust and attention of all the men and women that laid eyes on her.

Naruto himself had seen her face a couple hundred times in the past three years and yet each time felt like his first.

Stunning, amber colored eyes peeked out from behind the bangs of waist length sun-kissed blonde hair. Attached with it was a small button nose that scrunched cutely atop pillowy and plump pink lips, couple that with Shizuka's sharp jawline, the high cheekbones, and her smooth, light tan complexion, and it all culminated into a heart-fluttering visage that never failed to take Naruto's breath away whenever he laid eyes on her mesmerizing visage.

She was… for a lack of a better term, universally gorgeous, as if she was sculpted to be the prettiest thing in the world, that was of course without mentioning her downright sinful body that could draw out perverse thoughts from even the pope himself.

"And what happens if you run out of flowers to give." She couldn't help but question amusedly. Every flower he had ever gotten her was unique, never the same as the previous ones.

"Then I move on to the next most romantic thing, chocolate."

Shizuka shook her head, trying her utmost best to suppress her smile and failing miserably as her lips were tugged upwards and wide on either side of her face. "You still didn't answer my question mister." She playfully poked his chest. "Why a lotus flower."

"A lotus flower symbolizes rebirth, a new start if you will. I felt it was only appropriate since this is the start of a new year and the start of a better me." He answered, suppressing the urge to rub the back of his head sheepishly as school had already started nearly two weeks ago.

"A better you, huh? Will you stop bullying everyone this year?" She questioned sternly, hands placed on either side of her hips as she gazed up at Naruto's bulky, six foot frame.

Naruto pouted. "You know I can't do that Shizuka-Chan, as I told you before, I'm an equal opportunist bully."

"Hmph, fine. Then I take it that you will stop your lecherous gaze aimed towards Busujima-Chan?" Hints of annoyance and jealously marred Shizuka's gaze as she crossed her arms underneath her mountainous bosom.

The whiskered blonde chuckled as he wrapped his arms around her and gently pulled her to him, one hand resting in between her shoulder blades while the other was inappropriately positioned on her lower back, just right above where her ridiculously big ass began to jut and round. "Awww, is my Shizuka-Chan jealous?"

Shizuka blushed fiercely, both from her favorite student's bold touch and his teasing question. She shakily placed her hands on Naruto's chest but lacked the will to truly push him away as her favorite pair of baby-blue orbs gazed at her with such mad intensity.

"N-Naruto, w-we can't." She weakly murmured, knowing she would be fired immediately if someone stumbled onto them and reported this scene.

Naruto pouted but ultimately let go much to Shizuka's inward disappointment. "In my defense, Saeko-Chan does have a nice ass and it's hard not to look when she's bent over."

Jealousy crisscrossed Shizuka's features once more as she glared irritatedly at him. "My ass is bigger." She accidentally blurted out before inwardly crying in mortification.

Why did she say that!?

A pervy smile curled at Naruto's lips. "I know." His response only caused her to feel even more mortified than ever. "I don't think it's appropriate to be discussing this Marikawa-Sensei."

A tickmark formed on the nurse's head as she pouted angrily at him. "I don't want to hear about this from you!"

Mirth rumbled Naruto's chest before he hugged the nurse in silent apology. "Saeko-Chan can be very devious when she wants to be but I'll try my best not to look."

"Good."

Naruto let go and stepped back. "Got to head back to class but how do you feel about having steak tonight?"

Shizuka smiled brightly. "Sounds good to me."

He nodded and walked towards the exit.

"Oh and Naruto-Kun." Said student paused as he slid the door open, looking over his shoulder and tossing a questioning look at his fellow blonde. His curiosity peaked when he noticed the nurse's flushed cheeks. "You and I will be having a long talk about you looking at my butt young man."

Naruto grinned. "I look forward to it." He replied shamelessly, grin widening as her blush worsened before he stepped out to the hallway.

Waiting until she was sure he was far away, Shizuka sighed exasperatedly before she giggled as she thought of the first time she had encountered that shameless boy.

It had been a little more over three years ago when she had first stumbled upon him in her first few shifts in the hospital room. Naruto had been seventeen at the time and gravely injured, not mentioning that he was battling severe depression and nothing anybody said or did seemed to snap him out of it.

What was worse was that he had no parents or siblings, no relatives, no one to come visit or check upon him!

And then learning from her senior colleagues that he possessed no birth certificate, no passport, no piece of identification or home… And it was unknown what happened to the late teenager to cause him to be in such a state…

Truly it seemed like the seventeen year old bed-ridden blonde had nothing to live for and possessed absolutely nothing that could help him get his life back on track.

A hypothesis that proved much to be true when she had personally questioned Naruto and he mutely nodded before refusing to answer anymore of her or her colleagues' inquiries.

The thing was… Shizuka was too kind for her own good. It was why she had gotten into nursing and why she was aspiring to be a doctor. Because she cared greatly about people, whether it was those she personally knew or otherwise.

Seeing a depressed, bed-ridden seventeen year old with no family, no home, no financial support so to speak, and knowing that he wouldn't ever be happy with a foster life, if he even got accepted into one that is… it did it for her.

From there she had volunteered to look after the seventeen year old and help him as much as she could, a concept that surprised all her colleagues and even Naruto himself.

Once discharged, Naruto had stayed with Shizuka temporarily. The first four-five months were especially difficult as despite her greatest efforts to be close to him, he was hardly receptive.

But Naruto couldn't be cold forever and eventually had started to warm up to her and even began to regain the spark to live and move on.

It was a work in progress but she was delighted that he was finally moving on the right path.

Shizuka till now had no idea what had caused Naruto to be severely depressed – though she had a few theories – and she was still clueless about how he had ended up in the hospital but she didn't let her lack of knowledge deter her from getting close to the younger blonde.

It was perhaps in the tenth month of living with her that Naruto had finally managed to fully right himself while simultaneously making the decision to release the Icha Icha series to the world.

Saying he became rich was putting it lightly.

In the span of a single month, he became a multi-millionaire thanks to the release of one of his Godfather's pervy books, a rather massive change considering that for quite a long while, he didn't have two pennies that he could rub together.

Now healthy in both mind and body and being as financially stable as he was. Naruto didn't want to take advantage of Shizuka's kindness and generosity anymore than he already had, moving out of the place despite Shizuka's insistent protests that he wasn't an annoyance to her.

There was only one small issue with him living on his own, he was still considered underaged and when it came to light that there was no records of him ever going to school, the government had cut him a deal that involved him attending an institution despite him nearing the age of eighteen which was the age of third-year high school students.

That was the deal he was forced to make, attend and graduate school and he would be allowed to live on his own even if he was below the age of twenty.

Shizuka who was immensely happy by all the positive turns that accompanied Naruto's life, was also very sad deep down as she had grown quite attached to the late teen that had been living with her for nearly an entire year.

It didn't help that he hadn't reached out to her once in the following two months after he had moved out.

One could only imagine her surprise when on the very first day of the school year two years ago that Naruto - who she hadn't suspected would be a future student of Fujimi Academy - had shown up to her office with a large bouquet of the prettiest flowers she had ever seen in her entire life.

Naturally, Shizuka had been over the moon that day, not before scolding the boy silly for not reaching out to her at all since he moved out.

It was almost funny really.

Shizuka had always envisioned herself becoming close to the hospital patients, being their friends and what's not, but she hadn't ever foreseen herself coming to care so much about a specific patient - or ex-patient to be more accurate – like she had with Naruto.

She giggled and shook her head once more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was torture.

Listening to that man, Shido, or sensei asswipe as he liked to call him, was a man who reminded him too much about that pedo Orochimaru who gave Sasuke that gay hickey when he was twelve… Needless to say, listening to that teacher talk made him want to puke.

It was a good thing that he was Naruto fucking Uzumaki, if he didn't want to be in class listening to Orochimaru 2.0 talk unadulterated rubbish then he wasn't going to listen to Orochimaru 2.0 talk unadulterated rubbish.

"Oi!" Naruto suddenly stood up, startling both the teacher and the students, the ones forced to sit next to the whiskered menace quivered in fear. "Asswipe-Sensei, I need a small break… I trust that's not an issue?"

Shido shook his head rapidly, a terrified smile plastered on his visage. "N-No, I-I mean of c-course not Uzumaki-Kun, take all the time you need."

Naruto smiled so brightly it would have blinded Apollo. "Thank you for understanding." He walked away from his seat, smacking the head of a poor guy who was staring a bit too much. "Focus on the whiteboard you dimwit."

Fearing that even a word could set him off. Shido said nothing as he and the rest of the class discreetly watched the proceeding, a relieved smile crossing over his and everyone else's features once the prank king of hell was out of the class. "Now class, back to what I was sayi-"

Naruto closed his eyes and chuckled from his position out of the classroom, not seeing the need in staying here any longer, the ex-shinobi walked the halls of the academy, determined to get some fresh air into his lungs.

Five to ten minutes later, he found himself outside the school building.

Intriguingly enough, it seemed that he wasn't the only one outside as a couple of staff including Kyoko 'Big tits" Hayashi and 'Small dick' Teshima stood by the gates and they were… confronting someone?

Driven by curiosity, Naruto couldn't help but approach them while keeping a wary eye just in case the situation demanded it.

…

…

Except the blonde also wanted to get a good look at that round and jutting rear that stretched out Kyoko's skirt.

Not that any sane, red-blooded man could blame him.

It honestly came as a surprise that Kyoko Hayashi, a woman with a full and voluptuous figure was single.

Then again he should have expected such a thing as Shizuka, the hottest woman in both this world and the elemental nation was single too, and that had been the case for many, many years.

But back to Kyoko Hayashi, she was a woman of extravagant appearance, with reddish brown hair that framed a strict yet kind heart-shaped face, big brown doe eyes that hid behind a pair of nerdy glasses. A nice pair of lips on top of an angular and sharp jawline.

She was a beauty, certainly easier on the eyes compared to Teshima.

Then again, it was easy to have such an opinion since Naruto was a fully straight man.

Coming to a stop right next to Hayashi just as Teshima grabbed a hold of the stranger's shirt and slammed him into the gate, Naruto ignored all the uneased murmurs as his gaze narrowed suspiciously.

There was something very nauseating about the smell that emanated from the peculiar acting man. Naruto could not ponder any longer as a pained scream pierced his thoughts and returned him back to his senses.

'What the fuck…' Naruto gazed, wide-eyed just like the remaining staff as they witnessed blood gush like a fountain from the stranger biting small dick Teshima's wrist.

So stunned by the turn of events, none of them reacted as Teshima continued to bellow before he slumped backwards and fell to the ground.

Kyoko gasped before she quickly ran over to the downed P.E teacher, heart thumping thunderously as she hurriedly placed Teshima's head on her lap. "Teshima-Sensei! Teshima-Sensei! Wake up."

"Do you… do you think he's dead." One of the nameless teachers slowly asked his colleague, extremely disturbed.

Nameless teacher number two didn't get the chance to respond as Kyoko turned in their direction, livid at their question. "Of course he's not dead!" She thundered angrily before returning her gaze back to her long time colleague.

A twitch.

Kyoko exhaled in relief as she noticed the subtle movement coming from the now moving and alive Phys ed teacher. "Oh Teshima, you had me so wo-" She stopped speaking as Teshima suddenly grabbed her shirt, and yanked her down, eyes widening in astonishment as the bitten teacher lounged for her neck.

A shower of blood erupted once more as teeth sank into flesh.

Naruto grunted in extreme pain.

Having noticed the soulless looking orbs of what used to be Teshima-Sensei glinting with hunger, Naruto instinctively crept closer to Kyoko just in time for what used to be Teshima-Sensei try to sink his jaws into big tits sensei's neck.

Fortunately, Naruto, who had anticipated such a thing thanks to watching so many horror movies with Shizuka-Chan of course, reacted much faster and prevented it at the cost of Zombie Teshima biting his own forearm instead.

"Yeah… I don't fancy getting bitten by men you weirdo." Naruto slammed his fist into zombie Teshima's face, watching with complete satisfaction as the man's dead body was sent flying a few feet away.

"U-Uzumaki-Kun! Are you alright?" Kyoko worriedly asked as she stood up, concernedly gazing at the red bite mark that was decorated on her student's forearm.

Naruto hid a wince and nodded. "I'm alright big tits sensei."

If it had been any other time, Kyoko would have bristled with anger before lecturing the whiskered blonde about manners and proper conduct. As it was, she could only shakily nod before another scream greeted her ears.

Turning towards the source of that ominous sound, Naruto and Kyoko were bewildered to learn that the stranger from outside the gates from earlier had somehow gotten inside and bit nameless teacher number 1 while nameless teacher number 2 fled for his life.

Grunting in annoyance, Naruto quickly whirled towards the female teacher, bending his knees as he wrapped his arms around Kyoko's legs and hoisted the startled women over his shoulder.

"U-U-Uzumaki-Kun! What do you think you are d-doing!?" She questioned, a color of light pink flushing her visage as Naruto ran back inside the institution. "I can run on my own Uzumaki-Kun!"

"No you can't. You're wearing heels and there's a high risk of you tripping and having those zombies bite you." He replied.

Kyoko Hayashi was rendered silent as the blonde did have a valid point, there was absolutely no way she could run in her heels.

Unknown to the hoisted woman, there was another reason behind why Naruto had carried her and why over his shoulder.

What was that reason one might wonder?

To enjoy the feel of that thick bubble butt jiggling on his face.

Was he honest in that he carried her so she wouldn't trip? Absolutely. He wasn't gonna let someone innocent lose their life if he could help it. That said, he didn't see a reason not to enjoy himself as he saved a damsel in distress.

"Uzumaki-Kun. You can let me down now." Kyoko subtly ordered.

Naruto complied and lowered the ping pong teacher, resisting the urge to pout as he rather enjoyed the feel of one of Kyoko's soft, thick cheeks wobbling on his face.

"Your arm… How does it feel?" She worriedly asked before bowing her head sullenly. "I am so, so, so sorry that you were bit because of me. It's ju-"

"It's alright Hayashi-Sensei, I do not blame you at all." He easily forgave her much to her shock and immense gratitude. "I've had meaner injuries but never mind that. I have to go to the nurse's office and protect Shizuka-sensei. I take it that you wish to go to the principal and inform him of this development?" He crossed his arms and stared at her expectedly.

Kyoko nodded. "I must warn him so he could announce and notify eve-" She was cut off from her speech as the principal's voice rang across the school. "This announcement is for all the students and teachers. An emergency situation is taking place inside the school right now. All students must follow your teachers instructions and evacuate. I repeat all stu-"

Suddenly and without any forewarning, the sound of the principal's voice was cut off ominously, leaving all to question what happened.

The answer to their unspoken question was given as low-pitched and horrendous groaning was heard across the school before the principal's voice followed. "No! you stay away from me! Get back! Get back! Aaaaaghaaaahgghhhh!"

For a full solid ten seconds, No one said or moved an inch, too stunned by the awful scream before the sound of flesh getting ripped from bones resonated in their ears.

…

…

At once, pandemonium erupted as students and teachers filtered out of the classrooms.

In a desperate bid to survive, childhood friends turned and betrayed one another as one pushed the other aside in order to escape.

A few people had unfortunately been knocked down on the unforgiving pavement, their head stomped into bits as students and teachers alike rushed out into the hallway while not giving a rat's ass that they stepped on the body of some poor souls.

In the sequence of chaos that had suddenly plagued the school, the ugly colors of a person's true nature was revealed as nearly everyone forgot their humanity, more concerned with their survival than that of their fellow friends and colleagues.

Naruto grunted in annoyance before he turned to his horrified companion. "Big tits sensei. I have to leave, go inside the empty classroom right behind me and stay here in the classroom, I'll come back for you."

"NO!" She screamed before toning down her voice much more considerably. "I-I'm sorry Uzumaki-Kun but I can't let you go out there all on your own. What if you get bit again and this time you turn into one of them!?"

The ex-shinobi waved off her worries. "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

Whether it was guilt due to the blonde saving her at the potential cost of his own or because of the duty she felt she must uphold as a teacher or perhaps both, Kyoko didn't know but she couldn't allow her student, even if it was the most irritating one, to be all by himself when in times of crisis. "I am not leaving you Uzumaki-Kun. It would be highly irresponsible of me to let you go on your own."

Naruto sighed but couldn't help but inwardly look at the older voluptuous woman in a new light. "Alright but be very quiet and sneaky, I don't doubt that the school is already filled with those… we'll just call them zombies for now."

Kyoko nodded before her gaze turned wary as she eyed his bitten wrist. "Just keep me updated on how you feel with the bite. If we're lucky and that seems to be the case, perhaps getting bitten doesn't necessarily turn you into one of those things."

Naruto nodded in return at her reasoning but disagreed with her last statement. He was a bit of a special case, sure he was no longer a jinchuriki and yeah his chakra coils were damaged beyond repair, but he was an Uzumaki! A clan renowned for their strong life force and longevity, not mentioning as he had later found out, a reincarnation of the Sage's younger son.

He may not be able to utilize his chakra anymore but that hardly meant that the other gifts his blood had gifted with him would dissipate.

Naruto hadn't turned because his body had probably already finished combating and defeating the disease within.

'The joys of being an Uzumaki.'

"Alright Big tits Sensei, lets go." He commanded, silently walking to the nurse's office with the auburn-haired teacher following right after hum.

A protruding vein appeared on Kyoko's forehead. She glared lividly at her most troublesome student. "Stop calling me such a derogatory name. It's Hayashi-Sensei to you Uzumaki-Kun."

Naruto chuckled. "Kyoko-Chan works perfectly for me and please, call me Naruto."

End

And that puts an end to this chapter, this chapter unfortunately didn't progress much in terms of plot but that's because I wished to clarify the kind of backgrounds and types of relationship that existed between Naruto and everyone else.

Now some of you are no doubt questioning how is it that Naruto, even if he's unable to use chakra anymore, how is it that he's… not fast and strong.

The answer to that is simple, it's because Naruto and every shinobi in existence, (that includes rock lee who does have his own chakra-related issue) always had chakra unconsciously strengthened their muscle and tissue fibers.

With Naruto's chakra being damaged in such a way that he could no longer utilize it at all, he's reduced to being just above the average human in strength and speed thanks to his Uzumaki biology.

Some of you may not like that and here's what I have to say in response. An O.P Naruto in this world doesn't make for a story I'm interested in writing.

That said, I do hope you all enjoyed the chapter regardless and the next chapter will definitely be more plot-focused.

Chapter 2, 3, and 4 are posted on my p.a.t.r.e.o.n Feel free to check it out lads, here's the link

www.#patr#eon.#com/Demon_Knight939 (Just remove all the hashtags)

Anyway take care lads.

Peace.