Here we go! The next chapter of our crazy Marines doing crazy things. I hope you all enjoy! If you're looking for something similar, check out my new 'Things the Scoundrels are No Longer Allowed to Do', which I'm sure you'll also love!

merendinoemilliano: Perhaps. We shall see...

THAT Brother: I guess. You put together all the accountants in one chapter and you'll get better stuff, it seems.

Dragon Blaze-X: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Kyr1l: The Guards probably think being anywhere near the Astartes is better than whatever they're doing at the moment.

Guest: It's out now! Go check it out!

the metaphysical god of heroes: But it was an honest disco competition that got... a little out of hand. Yeah, I do understand what you mean. Dante is so old and tired of everything it seems mean, which is why it's on the list. As for Alpharius... sounds about right. The Alpha Legion is very confused by this chapter, as they either immediately find their spies or go along with all their plans. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

oOo

451. No one is going to believe the smoking orbital bombardment crater was caused by a bolter malfunction.

452. You can only fit so much Volkite into a Thunderhawk before the Mechanicus gets suspicious.

453. No longer allowed to sulk if not issued a Mk. VI 'beakie' helmet.

454. Our chapter motto is not "f*ck around and find out."

455. No amount of polish is going to remove nuclear fallout from the floors of the hab-city you just nuked.

456. Stuffed animals are no longer allowed to take your guard shifts.

457. If anyone puts glitter on their power armor they're getting sent on a penitent crusade.

458. The Librarius has a 'no shirt, no shoes, no service' rule in place from here forwards.

459. Daemons are not allergic to peanuts.

460. Throwing Drukhari in the sensory deprivation chamber is, in fact, incredibly funny.

461. You are not "best bros" with Bjorn the Fell-Handed.

462. Bjorn does not like you more than he likes Logan Grimnar.

463. You are not "a citizen of Macragge and those other 499 lesser realms of Ultramar."

464. Being sent on a mission with an Eldar Ranger squad does not make you qualified for scouting or Eliminator duty.

465. No longer allowed to sell counterfeit purity seals.

466. We are not Orks. Promotions do not work by killing the person holding the position.

467. No longer allowed to make a hundred-meter long flamer.

468. Or melta gun.

469. The dreadnoughts are not in a cult.

470. Guitar solos do have any place in exorcisms.

471. No longer allowed to out-noise the Noise Marines.

472. No longer allowed to implement a yearbook for the chapter.

473. Especially not with senior superlatives.

474. No longer allowed to modify your power armor boots with 'heelies'.

475. No long aloud to announce our arrival by playing The Boys Are Back In Town loud enough to be heard from orbit.

476. The chapter does not hold toga parties.

477. Your "soothing cathedral organs to meditate and relax to" playlist will not have any effect on calming World Eater Marines.

478. Mortarion does not just "need a bath".

479. While he will probably respect you for it and thus kill you quickly, challenging Perturabo to a one-on-one duel is not going to get you anywhere.

480. No longer allowed to write obscene messages on your ammunition.

481. No longer allowed to strap jump packs on the dreadnoughts.

482. Just… stay away from the Soul Drinkers.

483. No longer allowed to tell Librarians to "use the Force".

484. No longer allowed to make or take bets on what will happen when Guilliman meets the Lion. (Put me down for "hugs, honor duel, then hugs again".)

485. The sons of Corax are not allergic to sunlight, and it is wrong to insinuate otherwise.

486. If the Minataurs show up in-system, run.

487. No longer allowed to ask the serfs to fetch you 'blinker fluid' for the Rhinos.

488. No longer allowed to jump into a bio-titan's maw to blow it up from the inside out.

489. Vortex grenades are not 'a solution for all of life's problems'.

490. Keep quiet about the Dark Age dreadnought with a full working, talking machine spirit we found. We do not want the Mechanicus or Inquisition snooping around.

491. No longer allowed to trade the Whirlwinds for Earthshakers.

492. No longer allowed to catch air in Land Raiders.

493. The Reclusiarch does not appreciate you playing Put on a Happy Face when he walks into the room.

494. If the Chief Librarian starts saying he can see sounds and taste colors again, contact me immediately.

495. There is no such thing as 'Bring a Space Marine to Work Day' within the Imperial Guard, and you are not allowed to go if asked.

496. No longer allowed to hold competitions on how far you can punt a Tau.

497. Trazyn the Infinite is not your dad.

498. No longer allowed to commandeer Thunderbolts, not in the least because the cockpits are built for normal humans.

499. The Librarius is no longer allowed to peer into the skeins of chance and fate to win bets.

500. The Codex Astartes does not make for a good melee weapon.

oOo

There we have it! I hope you all enjoyed. As usual, I always appreciate any questions, comments, concerns, criticisms, and reviews!