Surprise! I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or GI Joe characters. Althea, Trinity, Baby Claudius and Xi are mine. This is just a fun one shot fic I had in my head that I wanted to get out. Just an excuse for mindless fun at a party before I head out on vacation. Enjoy while I'm gone!
Trinity's Birthday Bash
"Guys you can't do this to me!" Jamie shouted in terror. "Don't send me there! It's too dangerous and scary!"
"Jamie it's just a birthday party," Scott chuckled.
"It's Trinity's birthday party, Scott," Jamie glared at him. "Trinity! You know, those three deranged girls who are always trying to kiss me?"
Remy laughed. "What's the matter kid? Don't like being popular with the girls?"
"Not when the girls are psychotic lunatics!" Jamie told him. "Come on Professor! You can't force me to go there! Isn't there anything I can do instead? Do Danger Room simulations at a high level? Wax the X-Jet? Paint the mansion? PLEASE!"
"I'm sorry Jamie but you are going to the party and that is that," Professor Xavier told him.
"It's not going to be that bad," Scott said.
"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?" Jamie said. "Take a look at this invitation!" He held it up to him.
Remy read it. "Jolly Jeepers ain't it great! We're having a birthday party so don't be late! Daria, Quinn, and Brittany are turning eleven. Be there the party will be like heaven? Okay the poem's bad but still…"
"Can't you people see that it's some sort of code? It's obviously some sort of hidden message!" Jamie cried.
"Jamie I think you've been watching way too many spy films," Scott said. "You're being paranoid. It will be fun."
"Yeah think about it," Remy grinned. "There will be cake and ice cream…"
"With the Misfits there will also be clowns," Scott snickered.
"You can't leave me alone there!" Jamie whined.
"You're not going alone the other X-Men will be with you," Xavier told him.
"WHAT?" Remy shouted.
"Wait a minute why do we have to go?" Scott shouted.
"Somebody needs to watch my back!" Jamie shouted.
"Well you all were invited as well," Xavier said as he held up similar invitations.
"Professor you can't be serious!" Scott shouted. "Don't you remember what those little maniacs did to me and Jean a few weeks ago? You know what they're capable of! What if they decide to attack us again?"
"Now who's being paranoid?" Jamie said.
"Relax Cyke," Remy said. "This time all the X-Men will be together. We'll all be there to watch your back."
"Yes and I expect all of you students to be on your best behavior," Xavier said. "Unfortunately I won't be able to attend. And neither will Ororo or Hank."
"What about Logan?" Remy raised an eyebrow.
"He just left on one of his trips," Xavier said. "But Roadblock assured me that there will be plenty of adult supervision with the GI Joe team."
"Wait a minute," Scott asked. "You are sending us into Misfit territory…to Trinity's birthday party without any adults other than the Joes?"
"Be afraid people," Jamie said. "Be very afraid…"
"I can't believe we all have to go to a stupid kiddie party," Rogue grumbled as she walked downstairs that Saturday.
"Come on maybe it will be fun," Jean suggested. "You have to keep an open mind."
"My mind is open," Rogue told her. "Open to all the possible mayhem those little freaks will cause."
"Yeah this is gonna be a total drag," Bobby sighed. The rest of the X-Men were assembled downstairs. They were wearing casual clothing and some of them had presents.
"It will be if you think like that," Jean told him.
"Jean's right," Tabitha said with a malicious sparkle in her eye. "I mean at least we get to go someplace right? We have been stuck here in the mansion all week. I know Jean's gotta get away after all those long Danger Room sessions. You really had a hard time this week didn't you?"
"Well I had to practice my powers," Jean said. "I mean I think I'm having another power surge and it's been hard to handle."
"Right you need a break," Tabitha said. "I mean all you did this week was schoolwork and Danger Room. Schoolwork and Danger Room. Too bad. It would have been so nice to get out of the mansion earlier in the week. But that's pretty much our life now."
"Yeah," Jean sighed. "It is. Especially with the lawsuits going on."
"Hey its not like we were invited anywhere else you know?" Tabitha said.
Jean sighed. "We weren't even allowed to go on the class field trip to that amusement park at the end of the school year."
"Yeah guys you should be like Jean," Tabitha said. "She's keeping a positive outlook on things. So she's no longer the most popular person in Bayville? So what? So what if all nearly all her friends tossed her aside like yesterdays' garbage? Okay so her social life has been reduced to attending little kid's parties, so what? Big deal. Jean is handling being a social reject a lot better than you guys are. I wonder when the babies' birthdays are? That ought to be a lot of fun, right Jean?"
"Oh god I hate my life," Jean looked like she was going to cry. She walked away rapidly.
Rogue looked at Tabitha. "You're good."
"It's a gift," Tabitha smiled.
"Okay guys you gotta remember one of you has to stay with me at all times," Jamie warned. "Remember you can't leave me alone for a minute! Not a single minute!"
"Ya, ya Jamie we understand," Kurt sighed.
"I'm serious Kurt!" Jamie grabbed his shirt. "You know what those lunatics are like! They're gonna jump me the moment I'm alone! Do you have any idea what it's like to be alone with those girls? Do you?"
"Jamie calm down I promise we'll be there for you," Kurt released Jamie's grip on his shirt.
Then Althea and Todd materialized into the room. "All aboard the Birthday Express!" Todd called out. "Now leaving on Mass Device Track five! All aboard!"
"I'm gonna die," Jamie moaned just before they materialized in the Misfit's back yard.
"Come on Jamie its not like there aren't any other kids here as well," Scott said. He looked around and saw only the Misfits and some Joes. "I think."
"Hey look guys the clowns have arrived," Pietro quipped. "Oh my mistake it's just the X-Men."
"Same difference," Lance snickered. They gave each other a high five.
"Funny, very funny," Scott said sarcastically.
"Hey, hey!" Shipwreck walked out. "I'm glad to see you guys! Glad you could make it! Jamie I know the girls will be glad to see you."
"Why me?" Jamie moaned.
"Well you are the only one here closest to their age," Althea told him.
"What do you mean?" Scott asked. "Where are the other guests?"
"You are the other guests duh!" Pietro rolled his eyes. "Who else do we know?"
"You mean the triplets don't have any friends their own age at all?" Jean asked.
"Why are you so shocked Jean?" Rogue asked. "They live on an army base!"
"No it's because they're completely nuts," Althea told them.
"The girls have some slight problems socializing," Shipwreck admitted.
"Ha!" Althea laughed. "Tell 'em about the time you tried putting them in a regular school. Yeah that was a brilliant idea."
Flashback: An ordinary middle school, which was a sea of chaos. Fire engines were everywhere. Several hamsters are attacking a teacher. Children were covered in a strange green gooey slime. Water flowed out the window of a second story classroom. Frogs were hopping everywhere. The principal was crying on top of the jungle gym. And something exploded in the basement.
"And all that was before recess," Althea finished the story.
"Oh my…" Rogue's jaw dropped.
"And here come the birthday girls!" Shipwreck shouted as the Triplets emerged in cute white and blue outfits.
"Hi everyone!" Daria waved. "Good to see ya!"
"Great outfit babe," Quinn grinned. "Hey Tabitha, have you lost weight? Lookin' good!"
"Okay let's get to the presents!" Brittany chirped.
Then they saw Jamie. "Hi Jamie!" They all sang out at the same time.
"Oh no!" Jamie gulped. Immediately he ran away screaming.
"Don't you wanna give the birthday girls their presents?" The Triplets sang out as they chased after him.
"And let the festivities begin," Pietro snickered.
"Jolly Jeepers this party is going to be a disaster," Remy groaned.
Twenty minutes later…
"I don't know why I have to be the one to make sure people are not going crazy when they are having fun," Roadblock grumbled to Spirit.
"It's a dirty job but someone has to do it," Spirit told him.
"Speaking of dirty," Roadblock pointed to a corner of the backyard.
"Colossus! Avalanche stop fighting on the lawn!" Spirit snapped.
"I got five on Avalanche," Low Light said.
"I'll see that five and raise you five on Colossus," a Joe named Sci Fi said. Several Joes and Misfits started to bet on the outcome.
"You wanna try and stop them again?" Roadblock sighed.
"I will if you stop Barbecue and Magma from setting the rosebush on fire," Spirit said.
"Deal," Roadblock nodded as they went to deal with the chaos.
"GUYS HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!" The triplets were chasing several Jamies.
"Yeah this is a typical Misfit party all right," Scott sighed. "Somebody go rescue Multiple huh? Has anyone seen Jean?"
Meanwhile in the Misfit kitchen…
"Okay so maybe I did go a little overboard on the popularity thing," Jean said as she drank her fifth cup of coffee. She then took a bite on a candy bar. "But it felt so good. You know? People liked me. I wasn't Jean Grey X-Man or Jean Grey the freaky girl who reads minds. I was Jean Grey the All-American girl! I was normal! Okay maybe not completely normal but you get the picture! You understand right? Right! Please tell me you understand!"
"Gahhhh?" Barney blinked in his high chair.
"Oh god what am I doing here?" Jean put her head in her hands. "I don't know what's stranger, talking about my problems with a baby. Or the fact that you're the only one who will listen to me."
"Jean there you are," Scott walked over to her. "Things are starting to get out of hand. Big surprise. We gotta do something."
"Of course we gotta do something," Jean said sarcastically. "We're the responsible members of the team. We always have to do something when something goes wrong!"
"Jean are you okay?" Scott asked.
"Do I look okay Scott?" Jean snapped. "Do I look okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It'll be all right. Its nothing that another one of these babies can't fix." She went over to the coffeepot and poured herself another drink. She took in a deep breath of the aroma. "Oh yeah. That's the stuff."
"That's BA's coffee isn't it?" Scott asked. "How many cups have you had?"
"Five or sixish," Jean shrugged as she ate some M&Ms from a bowl.
"You're eating candy too?" Scott gasped. "Jean you know that's a bad combination! You realize what that stuff does to mutants right?"
"Yes Scott I know what this stuff does to mutants," Jean rolled her eyes. "It makes them feel good that's what it does to mutants so why don't you either pick up a cup and drink or go away. You're ruining my vibe."
"You're what?" Scott asked.
"My vibe, my vibe," Jean munched on some more chocolate and took another sip. "Oh yeah baby that makes me feel real mellow."
"O-kay Jean I think you've had enough," Scott tried to take the coffee from her.
"Hey I know when I've had enough and I haven't had enough!" Jean snapped. "The only thing I've had enough of is you!" She used her telekinesis to shove Scott into the wall. She grabbed the coffeepot. "It's mine! All mine! HAHAHAHAHA!" She ran away laughing.
Barney and Scott looked at each other. "She's not usually like this, really?" Scott defended. "She's had a very hard week and…oh god now I'm making excuses for her. I gotta get out of here!" He ran off, not noticing Barney hopping his high chair over to the candy.
Meanwhile back outside…
"Bazooka! Footloose! For the last time the pin the tail on the donkey game is only for the kids!" Roadblock shouted. "Airtight! That dollhouse is for the girls! Put that doll down! Fred will you share the food with the other kids!"
"That's not what I mean Fred!" Roadblock shouted. "Stop throwing food right now! You too Shipwreck! Don't encourage him!"
"Okay kids who wants to play some dice?" A red haired and red bearded Joe named Snow Job shouted to a group of new mutants around him. "Who wants to throw the bones! Put down a dollar and throw some bones!"
"Remy's been to some weird parties before but this one takes the cake," Remy said as he walked with Rogue. "Well at least Remy got his girl with him."
"Remy…" Rogue sighed.
"Now come on Chere we talked about this," Remy said.
"I just wonder what kind of relationship we can have if you can never touch me," Rogue sighed. "What good can it be when…"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Claudius ran by wearing only a diaper. His face and flippers were covered in chocolate. He banged into a table. He sat there, blinked and ran back the other way screaming. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"BAK!" Barney ran by after him, his fingers and beak covered in chocolate. "BAK! BAK!" He ran over to Kurt. Seconds later a loud scream was heard.
"YEOW!" Kurt shouted. "MY TAIL! YOU BIT MY TAIL! And it's covered in chocolate! OWWWW!"
"Well…" Remy blinked. "Remy can think of one advantage."
"Wanna dance?" Rogue asked him.
"Thought you'd never ask," Remy said.
"Guys I'm really worried," Scott ran up to them. "It's Jean. I think she got into some of BA's coffee. She's been acting kind of weird."
"Well I saw her by the candy bowl a while ago," Rogue said.
"Not even more candy!" Scott groaned. "She also had several cups of BA's coffee! It's kind of making her a little…out of character."
"No kidding," Rogue pointed to several candy bowls floating in the air.
Jean was in a corner eating all the candy she could get her hands on. "Jean what the heck are you doing?" Rogue asked.
"Oh this is good," Jean purred, her mouth was ringed with chocolate. "I love this!"
"Jean stop it!" Scott said. "This isn't like you!"
"Oh and why isn't it like me Scott?" Jean asked. "Because it's not responsible? Huh? It's not something 'Perfect Jean' would do? Right?"
"Jean I didn't…"
"That's all I am to everyone!" Jean snapped. "Perfect Jean! Little Miss Goody Two Shoes! Always has to be in control! Well I'm sick of it! Sick! Sick! Sick! I want to have some fun for a change and you can't stop me!" She grabbed her candy and ran off.
"Jean! Wait!" Scott ran off after her.
"Oh boy," Rogue sighed.
"What's going on?" Kurt asked.
"Jean's having some kind of breakdown," Rogue told him. "Scott's chasing her faster than Trinity chases Multiple."
"Oh my god!" Kurt gasped. "Jamie!"
"Oh man we forgot all about him!" Remy groaned.
"Where is he?" Rogue asked.
"Well if we find Trinity we find Jamie," Remy said.
Meanwhile in a dark corner of the house Jamie tiptoed around nervously. "Maybe if I stay real quiet…"
"Wanna bet?" Quinn grinned as she popped up in front of him.
"Did you really think…" Daria began.
"That you could hide from us in our own house?" Brittany grinned.
"It's kissing time!" They cooed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jamie screamed.
Meanwhile back outside…
"Tabitha how many times do I have to tell you not to use your time bombs so recklessly?" Roadblock groaned as he put out the latest fire. Then something iced up the latest fire. "Huh?" He looked behind him and saw Bobby and several other kids playing on a snow covered backyard.
"Iceman stop making it snow!" Roadblock shouted. "These snowball fights have got to go!" He got hit on the face with a snowball. "Okay, have it your way! Now you are gonna pay!" He started chasing after him.
"Okay it's time to hit the piñata!" Shipwreck called out. "Hey where are the birthday girls?"
"Here!" Rouge called out as she dragged Daria by one hand.
"It's a good thing we had Spirit to help us track them down!" Remy said as he dragged Brittany and Quinn. "Jamie are you okay?"
Spirit was carrying Jamie who was covered in lipstick. "Yeah baby," Jamie said in a dazed voice. "It's all good!"
"Oh wonderful," Shipwreck rolled his eyes. "Well who wants to take first crack at this thing? It's filled with candy."
"CANDY!" Jean jumped out of the bushes and used her telekinesis to yank the piñata into her hands.
"Jean that's not how you do it!" Shipwreck said.
"I dunno I think her way is better," Daria said.
"IT'S MINE!" Jean shouted as she mauled the piñata. She was shoving the candy in her mouth by the handful. "MINE! ALL MINE!"
"Hey Pietro get the camera!" Wanda called out. "Jean's having another freak out again!"
"She ain't the only one," Todd pointed.
"CAN'T YOU TWO STOP FIGHTING FOR ONE DAY?" Kitty screamed as Peter dunked Lance into the pool. "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOOOOOOOOOOP!"
Kitty screamed as Wanda casually hexed her into the pool. "What?" She asked. "She was annoying me."
"And that's our cue!" Rogue growled as she snuck up behind Wanda and shoved her in.
"Water fight!" Althea shouted as she used her powers to create a tidal wave to wash over the entire party. Soon nearly all the X-Men and Misfits were having water fights. Pietro was busy recording the entire thing on the video camera and Jean was trying to rescue the chocolate. Scott of course was trying to restrain Jean and not doing a very successful job of it.
"I can't believe the two of you were making out in the garden shed!" Roadblock hauled the offenders out.
"We are married after all," Lady Jaye sniffed.
"Yeah lighten up," Flint told him.
"I don't care if you are married I…" He looked around. "Oh lord…"
"There they go again," Flint said.
"We really gotta thank those X-Men," Roadblock grumbled as the kids fought wildly in the backyard.
"I wonder when the kids will get back from the party?" Logan asked. The adults were all sitting in the study drinking coffee.
"I suspect that they will return momentarily," Xavier said as he took a sip.
"You sent them alone on purpose didn't you?" Ororo sighed.
"I'm merely trying to instill some self reliance in them," Xavier said calmly.
"Translation: We need a break from the insanity," Logan told her.
"You gotta admit it is nice and peaceful around here without all the teenagers around," Hank said.
A sudden commotion announced the arrival of the X-Men. "So much for tranquility," Hank sighed as he put his cup down. "Might as well welcome the prodigals home." They went out to meet them. "Oh my…"
The entire team was soaking wet. "What happened?" Logan asked.
"What didn't happen?" Kurt groaned. There was a bandage on his tail.
"Man what a party," Bobby staggered in. He was covered in food.
"Okay let's hear the damage report. How many fires were there?" Logan sighed.
"Five," Tabitha said. "But they were all little ones."
"Peter and the Rocktumbler?" Logan asked.
"They fought three times," Kurt said.
"Lousy no goodnik…" Peter grumbled. He had a black eye. "Caught me from behind. But you should see his eye!"
"Scott I don't feel so good," Jean moaned.
"Don't worry Jean," Scott helped her over to the infirmary. "I've got you."
"About all those things I said…" Jean groaned.
"Don't worry about it," Scott said. "Jean maybe you should try counseling?"
"What…?" Xavier started to ask.
"She OD on BA's coffee and candy," Kitty told him. "I have it on video if you really want to know what happened."
"No I think I'll pass," Xavier sighed.
"Oh man what a party," Jamie grinned as he wobbled along. He was still covered in lipstick kisses.
"What happened to Jamie?" Ororo gasped.
"I think the kid just got his first hickey," Remy grinned.
"I can't wait until Trinity turns twelve," Jamie grinned.
"I knew partying with the Misfits would be a disaster!" Rogue groaned.
"Don't worry," Tabitha grinned. "My birthday is coming up next week. This time the party will be on our turf!"
The X-Men started to laugh maniacally. This caused the adults to flinch. "This is not good," Logan groaned. "I smell payback from the Joes. Big time. Well I gotta be hitting the road pretty soon and…"
"Don't you dare!" Ororo shouted.
"Be afraid Charles," Hank whimpered. "Be very afraid."
"I am Hank," Xavier moaned. "I am."