Lily's Pensive


Summery: Harry has been given his mothers Pensive and he is about to find out something very interesting about his potions master

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.


There was a steely green glint in his mother's eyes that Harry had never seen before. She marched forward through the halls of Hogwarts descending through the corridors where whispering portraits watched her. Her cloak fanned out behind her as she quickened her pace and she pushed aside a tapestry that was hanging on a wall and disappeared behind it.

Harry had to jog to keep up with the strides of his mother's long legs. But where was she going? Harry hadn't the faintest idea. All Florence had told him when she had given him his mothers pensive was it would make him understand. Understand what Harry wasn't sure but he kept up with his mother none the less.

She travelled further and further down the school and it got colder and colder. Harry could see thick drifts of snow settled outside the windows they passed and due to the silence that surrounded the corridors he assumed that it must be the winter holidays. His mother did not seem to be distracted by the cold however and continued on her path.

It was then Harry realised where she was going. He had been here in his second year but in disguise. He willed his mother to walk past the bare stretch of stone wall guarded by a lone suit of armour. But she stopped, ran her hand over the wall and whispered something into the stone. Don't go in, don't go in Harry desperately thought but his mother entered. What on earth did his mother think she was doing by going in there? She was muggle born; they would probably eat her alive.

What was she doing going into the Slytherin common room?

Harry entered behind his mother full of apprehension. But all that met them was an empty common room. Lily took her cloak off and began muttering something to herself. Harry strained his ears to hear but again she had taken off and seemed to be searching for something.

"Sixth year boys, sixth year boys," she muttered under her breath. Harry was utterly confused. Why would his mother be looking for the sixth year boys' dorm in the Slytherin common room? But suddenly there was another noise apart from his mothers muttering. It sounded like sobbing. Lily had heard it too and she jerked her head in the direction.

Slowly she crept towards the door where it looked like the sound was coming. The sign sixth year boys hung squint on the door. She placed her ear gently to the door and listened to the sobbing for almost a minute. Lily took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

Almost bursting with curiosity Harry ran into the room and was met with a sight that almost made him throw up.

There shirtless, lying on the bed, curled in a ball with his back to the door was Severus Snape. Harry could tell it was his potions master as on his back cut into his flesh was scrawled the single word "Snivielus". Snape was crying, curled in a ball sobbing so hard that it shook his whole body.

Harry's insides suddenly felt empty. He had a difficult time keeping upright. Had his father done this? Had is godfather Sirius. Had Remus and Peter stood by and watched this happen. He looked back to his mother who was pale but had a steely glint of determination in her eyes. She took a deep breath.


The boy in the bed leapt up and spun around. He garbed the cover from bed with one hand and desperately tried to wipe his eyes with his other hand. Unfortunately he did not do very well to conceal the marks on his body or the tears in his eyes.

"Come to have a good laugh have you!" Snape yelled getting a better grip on the cover and furiously rubbing his eyes. "Well go on then! You caught me! Where's the rest of the Griffindors? Hiding in the empty common room. I know what you were thinking" - Snape choked back more tears - "lets go get that slimy Slytherin now that he's the only one from his house left here over Christmas. Lets go have a good laugh at him." Here Snapes voice failed and his hand covered his face as he desperately tried to compose himself.

"Oh, Severus," Lily sighed and immediately crossed the room and embraced Snape in her arms.

Snape looked like he couldn't move. His eyes popped out of his head but almost immediately he pushed Lily to the ground and garbed his wand from the bed and pointed it directly at his mother's chest. But unfortunately this now meant that his left hand was on his wand, his right was holding the cover over his bare chest and there was no hand to check the flow of salty tears down his face.

"You will go now," Snape said trying to keep his voice steady and blinking furiously.

"I'm on my own. I came to help..." Lily started in a soothing voice getting up off the floor.

"You will go NOW," Snape was having great difficulty keeping his voice steady and his wand hand had begun to shake.

"Severus I..."

But Snape would not let her get any further.

"YOU WILL LEAVE NOW!" He almost screamed.

"Petrificus Totalus" Lily yelled and immediately Snapes arms snapped to his side and he toppled over backwards.

Harry watched as his mother ran to the stiff body of Severus Snape his jaw clamped shut but his eyes wide with what Harry could only describe as fear. Snape was scared. Harry had never seen Snape look so vulnerable. Lily knelt down beside the boy and gently tried to remove the cover and Harry saw Snape screw up his eyes as if he expected Lily to hurt him.

"Severus, I'm here to help you. I'm not going to hurt you. I want to help. I'm here on my own and no one knows that I'm here." Lily leaned over the boy and stroked his hair back form his face. Snape cracked an eye open. "I want to help you, will you let me?"

Harry saw Snape look at his mother with the most curious expression. Snape was working out if he could trust his mother. It looked as if no one had ever asked if they could help him before. Slowly his eyes lost their fear and looked straight into his mothers green eyes and slowly without saying anything he accepted Lily's help.

"Thank you," Lily whispered and slowly and carefully removed the cover that was wrapped tight around Snapes body. "Oh, Severus," she whispered as his bare chest was revealed. He was covered in cut and bruises and hex marks. Snape looked anywhere but Lily's green eyes. Lily gently turned Snape over so he was now face down on the carpet and eased the cover off his back.

There were more marks here, including the glistening words scored into his back. Lily was gentle though and removed a bottle from the pocket of her robes and began applying the contents to his back where the cuts were. It was cold and Harry could see goosepimples appearing around the cuts were she had applied the green gel.

Harry heard Snape sniff and snivel into the carpet as Lily's fingers brushed up and down his back applying the gel to the rest of his bruises. Once she was done and it had been absorbed in to his skin Lily took out her wand and muttered something that Harry recognised as the counter jinx to petrifucus totalus. Snape sat up and wiped his nose with his hand and looked towards Lily with the most pained expression on his face and the he spoke in the smallest voice Harry had ever heard, "don't tell anyone."

Lily reached over and hugged him. Harry could see Snape face pulled towards his mother's shoulder as she held him. Slowly Snape curled his arms round around Harry's mother. Harry saw Snapes face relax and saw the lanky boy close his eyes as he warmed into the embrace.

"Thankyou," he said quietly. Lily's head jerked up where it had almost been lying on Snapes shoulder.

"For what?"

"For not laughing."

"Severus why would I laugh? What would make me laugh at you? What those boys did was a horrible terrible thing that should never have happened to anyone."

"Well, I don't know," Snape replied softly. "People just laugh at me. Say that I'm weak and stuff. That I can't defend myself. That I need borns to help me.


"Don't apologise Severus. You were talking about me though weren't you? When everyone saw you upside down last year. Well you don't have to worry, I wasn't defending you, I was attacking James."

"I'm sorry for calling you names anyway."

"That's OK. I forgive you," Harry saw his mother give Snape another squeeze and try and stand up. But Snape was still holding on to her. She pulled back and looked into his eyes and seemed to ask if she could get up and go. Snape seemed to be holding her back though, hypnotised by those green eyes that looked so searchingly into his own black ones. Lily had stopped moving it looked like Snape had stopped breathing, all he did was stare into the face of Harry's mum.

Harry held his breath. The very air around him seemed to hum. Everything seemed to slow as Lily slowly bent her head towards the face of Snape. She wasn't about to...She couldn't be considering...She didn't...She wasn't she couldn't be thinking about kissing Snape?



So does she or doesn't she? You'll have to wait till chapter two to find out what happens. Please read and review.