Holding On

By TheLostMaximoff

Disclaimer: I don't own Good Charlotte, "Hold On", or the characters in this thing.  I just heard this song tonight and immediately had to write this.

            Tired.  She was so tired.  Wanda Maximoff didn't want to be anywhere on Earth.  She just wanted it to be over.  The constant battles against her father, his incessant pleas to join his quest, everything.  She didn't want to fight anymore.  She had hated enough people in her lifetime, some of which didn't even deserve it.  She just wanted to go to some place where none of it could reach her, where she wouldn't have to hurt anymore.  She just wanted to let go.

            This world

        This world is so cold

        But you don't

        You don't have to go

        You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care

        The others couldn't see it.  She didn't want them to see it.  She had to be the strong one to hold them all together.  They couldn't ever know because if she cracked even a little she would shatter completely.  She knew they cared about her and she was glad they did.  That's why she was too scared to tell them.

            Your mother's gone and your father hits you

        This pain you cannot bear

        Father.  She still hated him yet loved him all at the same time.  He was her father; she couldn't completely hate him.  In the asylum it was different.  It made her hate him.  She wanted revenge but after she got it she realized it wasn't so sweet.  She thought it would be over and done but the war just went on.  Now she felt trapped.

            But we all bleed the same way as you do

        And we all have the same things to go through

        She sat on the porch and stared back inside the house.  The boys were watching TV.  They'd never notice if she . . ..

            Hold on if you feel like letting go

        Hold on it gets better than you know

        She was still an outsider to them.  Even with all their troubled lives they couldn't come close to hers.  They had never stared at their ceiling all night asking God why their family had to have been torn apart this way.  She should just go away.  They'd all be better off.  She wasn't worth being cared about.  Nobody could understand anyway.  Nobody except . . ..

            Your days

        You say they're way too long

        And your nights

        You can't sleep at all

        Hold on

        And you're not sure what you're waiting for but you don't want to no more

        And you're not sure what you're looking for but you don't want to no more

        There was a shuffle from inside.  An uncharacteristically slow one considering who it was.  Wanda knew who it was, of course.  She could always tell when he was around.

            But we all bleed the same way as you do

        And we all have the same things to go through

        "What'cha doin', sis?" asked Pietro.  He sat down beside her with a concerned look on his face.  She wanted to tell him what she was thinking about doing.  She couldn't, not him.  She couldn't tell him and it made her want to cry even more.  That was her father's way: not showing feelings to those you cared about.  She was not her father but she didn't want to be herself anymore either.  She just didn't want to be.

            Hold on if you feel like letting go

        Hold on it gets better than you know

        Don't stop looking, you're one step closer

        Don't stop searching, it's not over

        Hold on

        "Wanda?" asked Pietro.  He was very concerned now.  Wanda hated it when he pulled his big brother routine.

            "I was just thinking about what it'd be like if I wasn't around," said Wanda, "if I wasn't anywhere."  Pietro looked sad but he nodded his head.  She knew he would understand.

            "I'm not going to stop you," he said simply, "but I'd like to know why."

            What are you waiting for?

        What are you looking for?

        Do you know what you're doing to me?

        Go ahead. . .What are you waiting for?

        "I just can't take it anymore," explained Wanda, "Father may be in jail now but he'll get out again and then he'll want us to help him again.  It's never going to end, Pietro.  I can't take our family being torn apart like this.  It hurts too much."

            "I know, sis," said Pietro, "but it will only hurt worse if you're not around.  If you go like that then it just might make me leave too."  Wanda was crying now and Pietro too.  They felt like kids again but they knew they could never go back.

            "Please, Wanda," begged Pietro, "We're all we have left.  I don't want to lose you too."

            "Okay," whispered Wanda, "I'll stay for you.  I'll hold on for you, big brother."

            Hold on if you feel like letting go

        Hold on it gets better than you know

        Don't stop searching, it's not over

        Hold on if you feel like letting go

        Hold on it gets better than you know

        Hold on

        "Do you think it'll ever get better?" asked Wanda as Pietro put his arm around her.

            "I hope so, sis," replied Pietro as he hugged her, "For both our sakes I truly hope so."